Pieces of Me (7 page)

Huh.
I hadn't thought about the possibly of Cole coming with him. Or maybe I had and
I didn’t want to admit it.

I can
hear the music from the party before we can see the first fraternity house.
It's so loud I can’t make out the words, but it doesn't seem to be bothering
anyone. It looks like the majority of the party-goers are outside. The entire
street seems full of them. There are guys, and girls, in various states of what
I'm assuming they think is luau attire. I'm pretty sure that grass skirts
weren't meant to be worn in the way some of them are being worn.

We
have to show our college ID to a couple of guys who have a small card table set
up at the top of the street. They take a quick peak at them, and then mark big
black X’s on our hands. I'm assuming that because we’re underage, but I spot
several other people with the same mark on hands that they are using to hold
cans of beer.

Within
seconds of us leaving the check-in table someone is shoving cans of beer in our
hands. I try to shake my head that I don't want it, but Grace leans over to me.
“Just hold it; you don't have to actually drink it.”

“Gotcha.”

She
grabs my free hand and leads me through the crowd of people to a semi clear
spot in the middle of the street. I see that the reason the music is so loud is
that they have a live band set up. There's a crowd of people dancing in front
of the stage.

As
Grace starts to lead us over to the crowd, her hips already swaying with the
music, I feel the tension starting to seep into my body the closer we get to
the crowd of people. I suck in a deep breath as she pulls me through the people
and finds a spot several people deep for us.

She
spins around to face me and still holding my hand, the sway of her hips
increases.

It
takes me several long moments before I can put my calming technique to use. I
start at the top, and work my way down. It’s hard to concentrate on releasing
the tension out of my body when I can feel the crush of people all around me.
Every time someone brushes up against me I feel myself tense again so I have to
start all over.

We
are three songs in before Grant finds us. He slips up behind Grace and
immediately picks up the sway of her hips and matches it with his own. I watch
them for a moment before I reach out and touch Grace's arm to let her know that
I'm going to get out of the crowd. She nods her head.

I
do my best to avoid physical contact as I weave through the crowd, and draw in
a grateful breath when I step out of the dance pit and back into the open
street. The can of beer I'm holding has started to sweat so I switch it to my other
hand and wipe the condensation on my shorts.

“Hey
there, gorgeous.”

It
takes me half a second to realize they mean me. I glance up and find a trio of
guys standing in front of me in board shorts, with multiple brightly colored
plastic leis around their necks. One of them is wearing a straw hat. All three
of them are studying me in a way that instantly makes me uncomfortable. I cross
my arms over my chest and shift uneasily on my feet.

“I'm
Mark.” The guy with the straw hat says, taking a step closer to me. “This is
Scott and Chris.” He points to his friends, but I don't let my gaze stray from
him. Now I wish I had stayed in the damn crowd of people. He takes another step
towards me.

“Can
I buy you a drink?”

I
lift my hand with the beer in it. “I'm good.”

I
tell myself to be calm. There's a crowd of people around us so the chance of
anything happening is slim. But I know how easily a person can be led away, and
I know I'm about three seconds from a full on panic attack as he takes yet
another step towards me.

He's
standing directly in front of me now with a drunken smile on his face. I can
smell the beer on his breath, and for just a second I think its whiskey. I sway
just a little as the smell triggers that corner of my mind I desperately try to
ignore.

When
I close my eyes, I’m no longer standing in the crowed street of fraternity row.
I’m huddled in the corner of the tiny room I’d been held in, listening for any
sound that indicated my own personal monster was coming back again.

Not
that it mattered; I wouldn’t be able to escape him. There was nowhere for me to
go, nothing for me to do but cry and pray that it would all be over soon.

“Want
to get laid?” I snap back to the moment as he touches one hand to the leis
around his neck, and reaches out the other hand towards me. I take an
instinctive step back while forcing myself to breathe.

I
let my eyes slide to the left and right, looking for the best possible way to
get out of this without causing a scene.

Which
means running screaming in the opposite direction is probably not a good idea.
I don't think I have enough air in my lungs to scream anyway. Fear and panic is
sucking the air out of me, and I can actually hear the short gasps of air I'm
managing to take in.

“Mark,
hey man, how you doing?”

I
gasp in a breath of air as Cole comes to stand behind me. He places one hand on
the small of my back, and the warmth of it instantly seeps through my thin
shirt.

“Cole,
what's up man? I haven't seen you at one of these parties in a long time.”

They
move in some half hug, half handshake move that I've seen several of the guys
on campus do, but Cole never moves his other hand off my lower back. When he
pulls away from Mark he looks to the guys standing behind him and nods his head
to them in greeting.

“Yeah,
it's not really my thing,” he says as his gaze cuts back to Mark, “but my
sister’s here so I thought I'd come keep an eye on her.”

“Oh,
yeah? This your sister?” Mark indicates me with his head.

“No.”
Cole smiles. “This is Delaney.” He doesn't indicate what our relationship is,
but he leans a little closer to me, allowing Mark and his friends to draw their
own conclusions. I draw in the smell of peppermint, and I can feel the heat of
his breath on my neck he's standing so close. I don't know why both of these
things make me feel better, but I feel the beat of my heart start to slow and
some of the panic edge away.

“Right.”
Mark draws the word out, looking between the two of us. “Well, it was good
seeing you again, Cole. Tell Holden I said hey.”

“Sure
thing. Y'all have fun.”

Mark
and his friends wander off, and Cole steps in front of me. I feel him move, but
now that the panic is fading, the entire situation has left me embarrassed so I
don't look up at him.

“You
alright, Del?”

When
I don't answer, because honestly, I don't think I can without breaking out in
tears, Cole tips my chin up with one hand so my eyes are forced to meet his.
The concern swimming in those navy blue eyes is nearly my undoing. To prevent
myself from making even more of a fool of myself I take a step back, breaking
the contact between us.

“Yes,”
I draw in a deep breath and tell myself to get it together. “Yes, I'm alright,
thank you. I just don't do well in..”

“Social
situations,” Cole finishes for me. “I know, Grace told me.” He watches me for a
few moments. “If that's the case, why in the hell did you come here? This is
about as social as it gets.”

A
guy wearing a coconut bra and a grass skirt runs screaming past us.

“I
don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time.” I give a weak smile. “You
know, in the safety of my dorm room.”

He
just shakes his head. “Here, give me that beer before you crush the can and cut
yourself.”

I
glance down. I had forgotten I was holding the can. My fingers are so tightly
wound around it that they are turning white, and I have to force them to open
so I can let go. Cole takes the beer and tosses it in a nearby trash can.
“Let's get you some water.”

“That
would be great.”

Before
I know what's happening he's grabbed my hand and is leading me through the
crowd. His palm is rough against mine, and my entire hand seems to disappear in
his. I almost trip on the curb as he leads me up and towards one of the houses,
because all I can seem to look at is our hands locked together.

“Careful,”
he calls over his shoulder. People greet him as we pass, but he seems to barely
acknowledge them. Within minutes he has us in one of the frat houses. He winds
through the rooms obviously looking for someone.

“Hey,
Trent.” I hear him call. “Hey, my sisters roommate is getting a little
overheated; can I borrow your room for a bit so she can cool down?”

His
statement is met with catcalls and whistles and I know my cheeks turn pink at
the implication. He takes it all in stride, waiting for Trent to answer. I feel
his body jerk as he reaches up to catch the keys that Trent throws at him.
“Thanks man.”

The
whistles start again as we make our way up the stairs, but Cole doesn't even
slow down. He leads me down a hallway until he comes to the last door, which he
uses the key to unlock. “Grab a seat.”

There’s
only a full size bed and a small sitting chair. I opt for the sitting chair. I
don't think my frazzled nerves can take to much more.

Cole
goes over to the closet and opens the door. There’s a mini fridge hidden
inside, which he pulls a bottle of water from. He crosses back and sits on the
end of the bed, directly in front of me. Twisting off the cap on the water
bottle he hands it to me. I know he sees my hands shake as I reach out to grab
it.

“Jesus,
Del, you're white as a ghost.”

He
leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees, watching me take several
gulps of the water.

“Where
is Grace?”

I
blink. He sounds angry. “Oh, uh, Grant showed up and the two of them were
dancing.” I shrug my shoulders. “I just wanted to get out of the crowd of
people for a minute.”

I
bring the bottle of water back to my lips. I’m not thirsty anymore, but it
gives me something to do.

“Thank
you.” I finally say. “For helping me out. I just.. He surprised me.” I finish
lamely. I make myself laugh and then wince at how forced it sounds.

“You
were terrified.”

“Oh,
no,” I insist. “I told you no one’s ever hit on me before. It just surprised
me. That's all.”
I meet his gaze head on now, trying to look more confident than I feel.

“The
guys in Oregon must be fucking morons,” he finally mutters. He runs his hand
through his hair, and I watch the curls dance and shift and am surprised to
find that I want to run my hands through them. I lean forward a little in the
chair.

“So,
uh, you don't like these parties?” I ask hesitantly.

Cole
turns his gaze back to me. “I don't mind a drink every now and then, but
drinking just to get wasted and laid, which is pretty much the purpose of these
parties, has never been my idea of a good time. If I'm going to hook up with a
girl, I don't need alcohol to make it happen.”

“Oh.”
I set the empty water bottle on the floor and twist my hands together in my
lap. “So you came to check on Grace?”

There’s
something in his eyes, and I'm pretty sure I know what it is, and it should
terrify me. But it doesn't.

And
that terrifies me.

“No.”

My
tongue slips out to lick my suddenly dry lips and his eyes follow the movement.
“Oh.” I know how lame I sound, but I can't help but wonder why he was there if
he hated the parties and didn't come to check on Grace.

Had
he been looking for me?

But
why would he?

I
had turned him down; he was seeing Red Nail Polish Beth.

Wasn't
he?

The
chair creaks as I shift a little closer to the edge. With the way we’re both sitting
there's barely a foot of space between us.

“Thanks,”
I whisper.

“You
already said that,” he replies softly. His eyes haven't left my mouth and for
the first time in four years, I'm wondering what it would be like to have
someone kiss me.

No,
I think, not someone.

It
has to be Cole.

I
feel myself sway just a little closer to him. There are mere inches between us
now. He could easily lean forward to kiss me, and for a second I think he's
going to, and I think I'm going to let him. I lean forward just a little more,
just enough, I hope, to let him know what I’m looking for.

Abruptly
he pulls back.

I
blink in surprise and jerk upright in the chair. I know I'm blushing again
because I'm embarrassed. I feel the heat race up my neck and over my face. Had
he not felt what I had?

“We
should go find Grace.” He stands up quickly, shoving his hands in the pockets
of the shorts he’s wearing.

“She's
probably looking for you.”