Pieces of Me (2 page)

“I
just think that with everything that happened it would be better if you were
close by.”

I
look to my father to see his lips pressed in a thin line across his face. He is
staring unhappily at my mother, which occurs every time she mentions ‘everything
that happened.’ Because as far as Alexander Roberts is concerned, if we don't
talk about it, then it couldn't have really happened.

“I
think we should let Delaney get settled in without us, Rachel.”

“Oh,
no, Alexander, we can't leave her this fast. I can help her put her clothes
away and make her bed. Oh, did you bring sheets? I didn't think about sheets.”

“Mom,
I have the money in my account from Grandma Baker to get all that stuff, and
Grace has her car here and has agreed to take me to the store. I'm fine. You
and Dad should go, you have to return the rental and get through airport
security.”

It
looks like she might protest but my father pushes her towards the door. Before
they step into the hall he turns to look at me one more time.

“You'll
be great, Dellie.” He uses the nickname he'd given me as a child, one I hadn't
heard in years. “Let me know if you need anything.”

And
then they are gone. I watch the doorway where they had just disappeared for a
moment before turning to Grace, who has finished putting her clothes away and
is sitting on her prettily made bed, studying me.

“Yeah,
so,” I draw the word out. “My parents are not normal.”

She
smiles. “Are any parents really? My mother blubbered like a baby the entire
time she was here. I had to kick her out before the idea of moving in with us
occurred to her.”

She
slides her feet into a pair of flip flops.

“So,”
she drags the word out. “Badges then Target, right? I can take you anywhere you
need to go to pick up stuff, no problem.”

“Really?
Because I only have jeans and t-shirts so I'd like to do some serious
shopping.”

“Of
course! Wherever you need to go, no problem. I love shopping.”

“That's
great, because I suck at it. And I think I’m going to want to replace pretty
much everything.”

I
watch as Grace claps her hands together, rubbing them in anticipation. “Yay! Do
you need to do anything else before we go?”

I
shake my head, figuring I can leave the majority of my old clothes in my
suitcase since hopefully I won't be needing them.

I
want to get as far away from everything in my past as possible, and that
includes the little girl who was terrified to draw any attention to herself,
either through what she wore or how she acted.

I
slide my room key into the front pocket of my jeans, turning to follow Grace
out the door.

“Both
of my brothers go here,” she says at we start out of the room. “Holden is a
senior this year and Cole is a junior. They share a place off campus. Do you
have any brothers or sisters?”

“No,
just me.”

“I
dreamed a lot about being an only child growing up.” We wind our way through
the hallway, which is still crawling with people. “But now? It's great. They're
having a small party at their place tonight; we should go by for a bit, I can
introduce you to some people.”

We
step out into the sunshine and Grace immediately turns to her left, so I follow
along assuming she knows where she’s going. She keeps up a steady stream of
chatter as we make our way across campus.

“You
never said where you were from. I'm only from about three hours away, so close
enough I can still run home to Mom and Dad when I need to.”

“I'm
from Oregon.”

“Oh,
wow. That's pretty far away. I'd be scared to death to go all the way across
country. No wonder your mom was freaking out. My mother would have had a total
melt down.”

We
have reached the student union. I reach to open the door and let Grace go in
ahead of me. We are greeted by a blast of cool air, and a line of people
waiting to get their badges made.

“You
saw how they were.” I shrug my shoulders, uncertain how to explain the
situation without going into a lot of detail. “I think we all need the chance
to miss each other.”

We
step forward as the line moves up. “We, ah, aren't very close anyway.” I slip
my hands in the front pockets of my jeans. “They just, hadn't been planning on
kids before my mom ended up pregnant with me, which makes them sound awful, and
they aren't, but I really had nothing keeping me there.”

“Well.”
I know she doesn't know what to say, and I'm socially inept enough that I don't
know how to smooth it over either. So we stand in silence for a few moments,
shuffling forward with the line.

“Did
you eat lunch?” I finally ask. “Because we didn't stop and I'm starving.”

“Oh,
me too.” She latches onto the change in conversation quickly. “Let’s eat first
and then shop.”

“Sounds
like a plan.”

Chapter Two

Five
hours later I’m standing in a pile of shopping bags in our dorm room. Grace had
been a whirlwind in every store we entered. It hadn't taken long for her to
discover that my sense of fashion was limited to loose jeans and t-shirts, so
she had immediately taken over.

Along
with the clothes, essentially an entire new wardrobe, she helped me outfit my
side of the room with the essentials.

So
now I have the sheets that my mother had forgotten to be concerned about until
the last minute.

She
wants me to attend the party at her brother’s house tonight, and while part of
me wants to go, I’m not sure it’s the wisest decision. Grace said it wouldn't
be a large party, but my definition of large is probably vastly different than
hers.

And
then there was the fact that I hadn't been to a party in an incredibly long
time, and the thought of attending one tonight makes me nauseous.

But
I had promised myself that I was going to make the effort to turn myself into a
normal college freshman, so I guess I’m going to make the attempt.

She
had kept up that steady stream of chatter the entire afternoon, bouncing from
one subject to the next like a pinball machine. If she noticed that I did my
best to keep the conversation on her, she didn't say anything.

I
learned about her father, who was a lawyer, and her mother who was a high
school English teacher. They had been high school sweethearts who had gone on
to prove to be the exception to the rule and were still going strong over
thirty years later.

She
was the youngest of the three, which she had mentioned earlier, and had grown
up tagging along after her brothers trying to worm her way into whatever they
were doing.

Holden,
she told me, had taught her how to throw a baseball, and a football, better
than half the guys in her high school. And Cole had taught her how to throw a
right hook.

It
is obvious they are close, the entire family, and it made it easier for me to
ask questions and keep the conversation on her because I was honestly
interested.

“So,
Delaney, what are you going to wear tonight? It's super casual, so no need to
go overboard.”

“Ummm....”
I look over to her as she comes out of the bathroom.

She's
exchanged her shorts and tank for a simple pair of jeans and a violet colored
halter top.

“Help
me?” I ask.

Laughing,
she bounces across the room. She reaches into my now full closet and pulls out
a pair of what she called crop jeans that look exactly like regular jeans, only
they are rolled about halfway up my calves. She pairs them with a long gray
tank top. She holds both out to me.

“Put
this on. I've got a great necklace to go with it. So glad we discovered we have
the same shoe size. I have a pair of black sandals that are super cute and
super comfy, which is hard to find.”

I
hurry into the bathroom to change my clothes. I stare at my reflection in the
mirror. My hair is the color of melting milk chocolate, and hangs down to my
waist in thick loose curls that Grace told me earlier she would kill for. My
eyes, which I inherited from my Grandma Baker, are a cloudy blue that boarder
on gray more often than not, and I have a small sprinkle of freckles on my
nose.

I
run a brush through my hair and then my toothbrush over my teeth. I slip on the
clothes Grace has picked out and step back into the room. She is sitting on her
bed with her cell phone tucked up between her ear and shoulder.

She
holds up a necklace made of chunky turquoise colored stones in one hand and a
pair of black sandals that will tie in a bow on top of my feet in the other.

“Yes,
we'll be there in about thirty minutes. Do you need me to grab anything on the
way over? Ok. So just an extra bag of ice?” She spits out a laugh as I settle
the necklace around my neck.

She
gives me a quick once over before giving me a thumbs up. “Is that Grant?” she
asks into the phone. The way she says the name catches my attention.

When
I look at her, she's still smiling, but it's different than it was just moments
before.

“When
did he get in? What? Grow up, Holden.” She laughs again at whatever her brother
responded with. “Don't be a douche. Yea, yea, you're all talk. I'll see you
soon. Tell Robby not to eat everything before we get there.”

She
drops the phone on her bed.

“You
look hot.”

I
fidget with the hem of the tank top. “Really? It's not too much skin?”

“Oh,
Delaney, you aren't even close to showing enough skin.” She winks. “We’ll work
up to it. Let me just grab my purse and then we can go. I need to stop and pick
up a bag of ice on the way.”

“And
apparently we need to hurry if we want food.”

“Yeah,
Robby and Grant just got there. Robby is a pig, or at least he eats like one.
He doesn't look like one, which is disgusting. If I ate even a fourth of what
he does I would be a million pounds.” She rolled her eyes. “It's ridiculously
unfair.”

Raising
one eyebrow I ask, “And Grant?”

We
make our way to the stairs. The majority of the students are moved in, but the
hall is still buzzing with activity as everyone tries to get settled in. Doors
stand wide open and girls move in and out as they familiarize themselves with
each other.

It
was much like I would have pictured summer camp to be. Having never actually
gone to summer camp myself, I only had movie references to go off of.

“You
caught that, did you?”

Night
has fallen, but the heat still remains. The overwhelming humidity slaps us in
the face the second we walk outside. It was going to take some getting used to.
We fall into step next to each other as we make our way to her car.

“Grant
is Holden's best friend. We've known each other forever.”

“But?”

Grace
laughs. “Yeah, the big but.” She runs her hand through her hair, which I have come
to realize is a habit. “It sort of twisted around a little bit last year and
became more than just friendship. It freaks Holden out a little. At first he
was all like ‘that’s my little sister’ and then it went to ‘she’s not even
eighteen.’”

She
pauses while we settle into her car, an older Ford Escape that she called Betsy
earlier. I have never heard of anyone naming their car.

“So
we stepped back a little bit. But I turned eighteen four months ago and we told
Holden he was out of reasons.” She pulls away from campus. “But we're still
taking it incredibly slow. We've been friends forever, you know? And neither
one of us wants to ruin that if this doesn't work out.”

She
makes a couple of turns, pulling into a gas station not far from campus. “Give
me just a second. I'll be right back.”

I
watch her scramble out of the car and into the gas station. I have lucked out
in the roommate department. It was one aspect of college life that I had been
dreading. I probably could have scraped by in an apartment by myself off campus
between the money from my Grandmother and the scholarships I had earned, but I
simply hadn’t wanted to risk the chance of not being able to afford it and
having to return home.

For
me, returning home simply isn't an option. I doubt that I would ever actually
make the trip back, even to visit. I know how crazy and selfish it makes me
sound to say that if my parents want to see me again, they will have to come to
me, but there are so many demons there that I don't want to face, and now that
I am out, I refuse to be pulled back in.

I
turn the radio on while I’m waiting on Grace, flipping through the stations
until I find something that sounds good. I pull out my cell phone and look at
the icon indicating there is a text. I click on the button and see one from my
father, letting me know they had reached their layover safely, and one from my
mother who tries once again to convince me that I am screwing up my life.

I
slide the button across the screen to relock my phone without responding to either
one of them. I don’t want to cave. I don’t want to go back, just because it is
familiar. Even if I had been beyond miserable there, it was the only thing I
had ever known.

Now
I sit in new clothes which, while not overtly sexy or revealing, are not what I
am used to, and I’m waiting on a girl who I honestly think might become a
friend, on my way to a party with a bunch of people I don’t know.

I’m
so far out of my comfort zone I can’t even see it anymore.

I
glance up as Grace comes out of the gas station with a bag of ice in hand. I
slip my phone back into my bag as she climbs into the car. She twists around to
drop the bag of ice on the floorboard behind us.

“Alright,
let's go.” She throws the car into reverse and moments later we’re back on the
road.

“Ok,
so give me the dirt. Did you leave a guy pining for you at home?”

I
guess it is only natural for her to be curious about me. She has pretty much
talked about herself nonstop all day.

“Nope.
No guy.”

“Seriously?
What's wrong with the guys in Oregon? You're gorgeous.”

I
can feel the dark edges of a memory skating in and have to close my eyes to
make it recede. My hands twist in my lap, fingers turning white as they curl
into each other. There were so many things wrong with the guys in Oregon.

“I
was a bit of a loner in high school.” I force the words out, happy to hear only
the faintest hint of a tremor. “I've never actually found a guy I was
interested in.”

“So
you've never had a boyfriend.”

“Nope.”

Grace
pulls the car up along the curb in front of a row of townhouses. She twists in
her seat so that she is facing me head on.

“Really?
So does that mean you've never been kissed? Or anything?”

I
breathe in deep. The world is closing in. I force it to open back up, to push
the edges back out again.

“Nope.
Nothing.”

“Well,
I don't think you'll be saying that for long. This is it. Let’s go see how much
food Robby left for us.”

“Wait.”
I snap out the word. Grace is half way out of the car, and spins around to look
at me.

“What?
Do I have something on my ass?” She starts wiping at the bottom of her jeans.

Shaking
my head I say, “No, you're ass is fine. It's perfect in fact.”

“Oh,
I know.” She says with a smirk as she sinks back into the driver’s seat of the
car. “What's up?”

“I've
never been to a party before.” I whisper the words, knowing how uncool they
make me. “I told you I was a loner in high school?” She nods her head. I can
read the disbelief in her eyes.

“Yeah,
I wasn't kidding. I suck in social situations, like I might throw up suck.”

Grace
wrinkles her nose. “Gross.” She runs a hand through her hair. “Don't worry
about it, Delaney, it's just my brothers and a few of their friends, and
they're all super nice.”

I
must not look convinced because then she says, “If you start to feel
uncomfortable at all, just let me know and we’ll leave. No big deal. But I
promise you, you'll have fun.”

I
look at her for a minute longer trying to mentally gather my strength, and then
nod my head.

“Ok.
Ok.” I manage to say. “Let's go before I do throw up.”

“Seriously,
if you throw up make sure it's in the grass. Todd threw up in my car once when
I had to take his drunk ass home. It takes forever to get that smell out.”