Perfectly Shattered (20 page)

Cami wove through the graves, finding what she looked for. Huge green trees surrounded the area, shading it and giving serenity. The leaves blocked the sun, casting shadows over the quiet lawn. She stopped, barely able to read the names through the haze of her tears.

Kneeling before the lonely grave, Cami stared. Never knowing how to behave in the presence of the dead, she was quiet. It had happened years before, but seemed so fresh, as if the wounds would never go. She couldn’t forget. Never had been able to get past it.

Nathaniel had been her love for so long. They grew up together, and all through school they shared everything. It had been natural to start dating. It hadn’t even seemed like dating at first, just going out with her friends.

But when she had been alone with Nat, there had been something special. Something they shared together. Their future seemed understood, nothing they had to talk about. They had time. There was no rush.

And then he was gone.

Just like that, the beauty that was Nathaniel, the joy they had together, was taken away. The memory was all she had, but remembering had been too painful. Purposefully, Cami shifted her thoughts away from the incident. Even after all the time that had gone by, it was too much. Too hurtful.

She reached out to touch the stone and run her hand along the sad, grass-covered mound. It was almost as if she could feel him, and a new wave of grief swelled in her chest. Sobbing, she pulled her hand away and clutched her chest.

“I’m sorry, Nat,” she said between sobs. “I’m so sorry.” She lowered her head and covered her eyes, though it did nothing to subdue the overwhelming feeling of loss. She dared not dwell on it.

Her only way out had been to push it deep, keep it away, and never discuss it. To talk about it would allow her to be swallowed up by the overpowering emotion. And she was sure that she couldn’t survive. It would break her to pieces.

Looking up at the blue sky, still clutching her chest, Cami mouthed, “I am so sorry.”

Then she stood, and on shaky legs, walked away. Nat wasn’t part of her life anymore. He couldn’t be. But she would never forget him. He would always live in her memory. Though she could never undo what had happened, Cami could keep a place for him in her heart. Always.

*****

There were no direct flights to Walla Walla that he could get on that day, so Bradan took the one available to Pasco, figuring he could rent a car to drive the last leg of the trip. Even then, he had to go standby and was lucky to get on the flight at all.

Getting a car was not a problem, nor were directions. It looked like it was about a fifty-minute drive to his hotel. The sun had already set, so he’d have to navigate in the dark, but it shouldn’t be a problem.

During the drive, he thought of Cami, and wondered how she was doing. The fact that she’d gone home was significant. Since she’d never mentioned a trip to see her mother, he guessed it was prompted by the recent fiasco.

Bradan kept thinking of things to say, or what to do. But nothing seemed right. He knew once he saw her that anything he’d planned would vanish from his mind anyway. All he wanted to do was hold her. But would she let him?

Caring about her had brought a whole new dimension to his life. It wasn’t about his career, his future, or even his family. Because if he couldn’t be with Cami, none of it meant anything. It was empty without her.

She had filled his days with joy, a feeling he now found he couldn’t do without. And only she could bring it back. Whatever it was that tormented her, Bradan knew he could help. He wanted to help. All she had to do was to let him.

It sounded so simple. Yet he knew it wouldn’t be. But he was prepared to do whatever he had to in order to make things right. To make Cami a part of his life. Though he had no clear idea of how he would do that, Bradan was determined to succeed.

Approaching the town, he could see it was well lit. He turned onto the main street and pulled over to the curb to check directions. Streetlights cast an amber glow over the sidewalks, and Bradan looked at the variety of establishments.

It had a quaint feel, warm and friendly. The multi-story buildings were historic and trees lined the streets. If he hadn’t known better, Bradan would have thought he’d entered a Dickens scene. Gazing around, he tried to get a feel for the place where Cami had grown up, hoping it would help him understand her better.

The inn where he had a reservation wasn’t far, and Bradan found a space to park out front without difficulty. Using the code he was given, he walked into a beautiful room with a fire going, Spanish music already on, and a bottle of wine.

The exposed brick, artwork, and updated décor were notable. Booking at the last minute, Bradan had been willing to take what was available. Walking around the suite, he decided he’d been very lucky. There was a flat-screen television, a Jacuzzi, and even a desk. Tall arched windows faced Main Street, and skylights brought in the moonlight.

He dumped his bag in a chair and pulled out his cell phone, staring at the blank screen. It was late, but Bradan didn’t want to wait until morning. It was probably unwise to call at an inconvenient hour, but he wanted to see Cami.

He risked a text, knowing that if she were sleeping it wouldn’t be seen until the next morning. When she replied right away, he was pleasantly surprised. Even more when she agreed to see him. It was the last thing he’d expected. Cami said she’d come to his hotel.

Bradan quickly stowed what little he’d brought with him and then opened the wine. When he heard a knock at the door, his heart pounded. So much was riding on how the encounter went. But she’d agreed to see him. That was something.

He opened the door, and before Bradan had a chance to say anything, she walked right in.

Cami turned to face him. “What are you doing here?”

She wore jeans and a T-shirt under a sand-colored sweater. Her hair was tied back, revealing her delicate features. Bradan gazed at her flawless skin, the curve of her lips, and her clear green eyes. Then he realized she’d asked him something.

Glaring, she crossed her arms. “Well?”

Bradan wanted to pull her into his arms. She was so close; he could smell her floral perfume, and his fingers twitched to touch her soft cheek.

“What?” he said.

Cami started pacing in front of the fireplace. “I asked why you are here. I’m waiting.”

Bradan resisted stepping closer to her. Watching her expression, trying to read her emotions, he said, “I wanted to see you.”

She stopped pacing and shook her head. “What for? Amber was busy tonight?”

“That’s cold.”

Cami moved closer. “I’ll tell you what’s cold, Bradan. Seeing your
first love
behind my back.”

“You’re mad?”

She let out a breath in exasperation. “No. I’m not mad.”

“You sound mad.”

Cami bit her lower lip. “I’m hurt. Can’t you understand that I’m hurt?”

Though he’d been with many women, their thought process often escaped him. “Cami, listen—”

“No, Bradan. You listen.” Tears welled in her beautiful eyes and choked her words. Cami took a step closer, looking into his eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You are a fucking asshole.” She kept looking at him. Then she continued, but her voice softened, giving Bradan some hope. “I take that back.” She hesitated as if getting her thoughts together.

Cami moved to within an inch of him. He could feel the heat of her body and her breath against his skin. If he lifted his hand, he could touch her tears and brush them away.

She tilted her head up, and Bradan was lost in her eyes. Her words came out slowly, her tone soft and caressing. “You are a
stupid
fucking asshole.”

Bradan opened his arms and she fell into them. He held her as she sobbed against his chest. There was nothing he could say. Nothing he
should
say. So he just held her, relieved to have Cami in his arms, and wanting nothing more than to hold her like he was.

When she stopped crying, Cami wiped her tears on her sleeve. With one arm still around her, Bradan put a finger under her chin, tipping her face up so he could kiss her. The kiss was sweet, and the longing between them was palpable.

He had missed her so much. The touch of her lips was everything to him at that moment. Cami kissed him back, her emotion radiating into him. He put his palm on the back of her head, holding her to him, never wanting her to go.

Bradan didn’t question. He was just happy to be with her. Understanding could come later. Right then, being together solved everything. Whether it would last, he didn’t know. But he planned to savor every last second with the woman he loved.

He led her to the sofa in front of the fire, and they sat together. She leaned into him and Bradan held her close. Cami put her hand on his thigh, and deeper emotions stirred within him. For some minutes they just sat, not saying anything.

She leaned forward, looking deeper into the fire. “Are you going to offer a girl anything to drink?”

Bradan smiled. “I assume you’ll accept some wine, seeing that this is wine country.”

Cami looked over at him. “I grew up on wine.”

He got two glasses from the kitchen and poured some Syrah from the bottle. Cami reached for one and took two healthy sips.

“Are you staying with your mother?”

She shook her head. “She lives with my aunt, and their home isn’t big enough. I’m at a place up the hill, a small bed and breakfast. The owner is a friend of ours.”

Bradan sipped his wine. “I just want to explain. What happened there with Amber wasn’t what you think.”

Cami reached for his arm and pulled him down next to her. Her green eyes were glistening, but no longer from tears. She whispered, sending electricity through every cell of Bradan’s body. “Not now. Tell me later.”

Desire radiated between them, and Bradan could barely restrain himself from sweeping her into his arms. But he didn’t have to. Cami put her glass on the table and then took Bradan’s to do the same. When she looked back, there was no mistaking her intent.

Chapter 23

A need so strong couldn’t be denied. Cami had felt alone. Now, all she wanted was to be with Bradan, to have him for that one night. Looking into his crystal-blue eyes and seeing the lust there melted her.

There was no way to turn away, and it was impossible to ignore the fire between them. No upset or hurt held strength against its heat. Bradan’s gaze made her body tingle and flooded her with a delightful weakness.

“Bradan.”

It was all the encouragement he needed. Placing his palms on her cheeks, Bradan pulled her close. She could feel his breath on her skin, sense the heat coursing through his body, and smell his scent of arousal. Cami closed her eyes, and he covered her mouth with his.

The kiss was long, deep, and conveyed a need they both felt. The connection was everything Cami had missed, and all that she had to have. Nothing else mattered. Only this. Just him, the man she insanely desired despite all reasons not to.

His tongue raked against hers, making her sex pulse heavily. Cami would have ripped their clothes off and buried him deep inside her without delay. But she enjoyed every second leading up to it, and cherished every breath they took together.

Bradan tasted so male and felt so sexy. He had a way of kissing that commanded her and loved her at the same time. The strength of his need came through in the simple act of kissing, as only he could. Without touching him, Cami was acutely aware of his muscled body.

The presence of his chiseled form excited her, and she wanted to touch him all over. Merely the thought of it tensed her clit. She wanted him, and bordered on out of control. Cami didn’t want control, and she had no intention of showing reserve.

To have Bradan, and be as close to him as humanly possible, was her only focus. He was so hot and so sexy. And more than that, he was different. Something had changed with him, making his charm impossible to resist. As if she ever had before.

Stroking her tongue against his, Cami poured out her feeling for him, better than words ever could have. He leaned back, still holding her and looking into her eyes. He knew. It was there. Bradan understood how she felt, and accepted it with passion.

He showed no sign of holding back or of cooling off. Bradan’s blue eyes flamed with the same craving she felt deep in her soul. That intimate connection magnified every sensation roiling through her body. Cami would have done anything for him at that moment. Not only
would have
, she wanted to.

Without a word, Bradan undid the pearl buttons of her sweater, slowly, as if each tiny motion were part of foreplay that was integral and he dare not skip over it. He wouldn’t risk losing a fraction of the experience.

It seemed as though that time, that moment, would be embedded in their minds forever. It meant something, and the significance was not lost on the man Cami desired with all her being. That alone touched her.

It moved her that he knew, and that he cared. As each button came open, a tingle of electricity went through her. Easing forward into the sensual interlude, knowing it was unlike any other, Bradan carefully slipped the sweater off her shoulders.

Cami shrugged out of it, and he tossed it aside. Sitting before him in a shirt only, she felt more naked than she ever had. No bra covered her breasts, and she didn’t need to look to know that her nipples poked into the cotton, exposing her.

Just Bradan’s look caressed her bare skin through her clothing. So intense was his focus, and so powerful his desire, that Cami felt like the most beautiful women that ever existed. He didn’t need to say it; his eyes voiced it.

The urge to throw herself into his arms was balanced by the need to treasure the experience. Bradan was so handsome. His brown hair had grown out, and the sun-streaked locks dusted against his collar. His strong jaw begged for her touch.

The man was solid, sculpted muscle, and beautifully so. The outline of his chest and broad shoulders was obvious even under his shirt, and his well-developed thighs gave shape to the jeans he wore. It was the bulge she saw pressing against the denim that was her undoing.