Olivia (53 page)

I tuck my chin into my chest, and he hugs me close
to him. He kisses the top of my head, rocking us. “But that’s just
what I would do.”

“
Did you need your car, Miss
Holland?” the garage attendant asks, taking advantage of the
silence between me and Jon. Panicked, I grab the bag and get up,
wanting to escape the eyes and ears of anyone who knows me. Jon
follows me out of the garage after telling the man ‘no.’

“
How much do you think he
heard?”

“
Nothing. I was watching, Olivia.
No one was around. He just walked up.”

“
You’re sure?”

“
Positive.” He puts his arm across
my shoulders, and we walk slowly up the street. “You don’t have to
decide now,” Jon continues. “The instructions say it’s effective
for up to 72 hours after... so you’d need to decide by Wednesday
afternoon.”

“
We’d
need
to decide.”

“
I’ll support your decision, either
way.”

“
What if I don’t take it, and I
am?” I ask him pointedly.

“
I’ll support you, Olivia.” He
stops walking and turns my body toward his. “I love you,
okay?”

I nod, but start to cry, grabbing my nervous
stomach.

“
Shhh... don’t do that, it’s fine,”
he says, his voice light. “I think we’re making something out of
nothing.”

Across the street, the first lunch bell rings. I
look at him, and I can’t help but smile at him. It’s about the
worst thing that could happen to us, but knowing he’s with me makes
me feel better anyway. He wipes two tears from my cheeks, then
leans in to kiss me. “I don’t think you’re pregnant,” he
whispers.

“
I don’t think I can take it,” I
tell him back. “The Plan B, I mean.”

“
Okay,” he says.

“
Really?”

“
I’ll support your decision. You
and I, Liv, we’re bigger than this situation. Whatever happens, the
two of us are going to be just fine. Together.”

I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him again. “Can you
come over tonight?” I ask him, hoping we can talk about it some
more. We start walking back toward the entrance of my school.

“
I can’t. I missed my lab this
morning, dealing with all of this,” he says. “There’s another
session that I can go to tonight. I have to do it if I want to pass
my quiz on Friday. Tomorrow, though. I’ll come over as soon as
class is out.”

“
Don’t come over. Let’s meet
somewhere.”

“
I’ll meet you at school. We can
figure it out from there.”

“
Okay,” I say, quickly pulling out
all of the medication he’s given me and putting it in my purse. I
give him the gift bag back.

“
But I’ll call you after my lab.
Try not to worry about it, though, okay?”

“
Right,” I huff as I reach the
gate. “I’ll try,” I tell him softly. “You either.”

“
I’m not worried,” he says. His
voice sounds confident, but his eyes look unsure. He pulls me back
to him once more for a kiss, and he tells me he loves me
again.

“
Love you, too.” We start to walk
away from one another, releasing our hands at the last second. I
don’t turn around. I don’t want him to see me start crying again,
because the tears are heavy and fast. I barely make it to the
nearest ladies room before I burst into a fit of sobs.

After school, Camille is nowhere to be found.

“
Where were you during lit today,
Liv?” Finn asks, hollering loudly down the hall.

“
The clinic,” I tell him. “I had a
headache.”

“
You missed it,” he says, laughing.
“We got Mr. Franco good.”

“
The desk prank?” I ask him. My
classmates had been plotting it for weeks.

“
Yeah. He was pissed.”

“
Gee, didn’t see that coming,” I
say sarcastically. “Hey, you haven’t seen Camille, have you?” I ask
him.

“
Actually, yeah, I caught up with
her earlier to ask about you.” I glare at him. “She said you’d meet
her here. I had to tell you about the prank!”

“
I don’t care about it, Finn,” I
tell him. “Is she coming?”

“
No, when she found out I wanted to
talk to you, she said she’d just go home. Said she wasn’t in the
mood to talk anyway.”

“
That makes two of us,” I say with
a sigh, peeling away from the wall of lockers and starting toward
the exit.

“
Wait,” he says, grabbing my arm.
“There’s a reason you should care about the prank,” he
says.

“
Why?”

“
Because we got in trouble, and we
got homework... it’s due tomorrow.”

“
That sucks, Finn! I wasn’t even
there,” I whine. “What do we have to do?”

“
We have to memorize a dialogue or
soliloquy and perform it tomorrow for the class.”

“
I’ll do a soliloquy,” I say,
irritated. “What are the instructions? Any specific
author?”

“
Sorry, but I signed us up for a
dialogue.”

“
Finn!”

“
What? I can’t do a soliloquy! I
need someone to feed me my lines.”

“
Why me, Finn?” I say, turning
around dramatically.

“
No one else would partner up with
me,” he says. I laugh at him. He’s one of the most popular guys in
school, but even his popularity can’t convince people to pair up
with him on scholastic projects. It’s not that he’s not smart–he
just has no sense of urgency and has a hard time
focusing.

“
What are we doing?”

“
I picked something easy,” he says.
“I think. Romeo & Juliet.”

“
Oh, good lord. Can you be more
cliché?”

“
I could try,” he says.

“
Let me guess, the balcony
scene?”

“
You’re good!”

“
Did you even read it?”

“
They fall in love and die, what’s
to read?”

“
Great.” I turn around and start
stomping toward the door.

“
Where are you going?”

“
The library, I guess,” I tell
him.

“
Kaydra has the book. Multiple
editions, actually. I called and asked. Let’s just go
there.”

“
Fine,” I say, continuing to walk
as he catches up with me.

“
Give me a ride?”

“
You can have a ride there, but
you’re on your own to get home.”

“
You’re in a mood today,” he says
as we walk to the parking garage. “Still have a headache?” he
asks.

“
You’re my headache
now.”

“
Ouch... hey, why’d you tell
Jon?”

“
Because I don’t keep secrets from
him,” I mumble. “Relationships 101.”

“
Miss Holland,” the attendant
greets me again. It’s the same man who was here earlier. “Now would
you like your car?”

“
Yes, please.” Finn and I sit on
the bench Jon and I had been sitting on after lunch, waiting for my
car.

“
He was a dick to punch
me.”

“
You’re a sissy to even bring it
up,” I tell him. “It was more of a poke than a punch. And he’s
going to really enjoy hearing that you volunteered us to perform a
love scene in front of our class tomorrow.”

“
A love scene? I thought that was
when they offed themselves.”

“
Idiot,” I mumble as my car pulls
up. I get in the car and start to drive off without unlocking the
passenger door. I can hear Finn yell, and it makes me laugh a
little. I press the button, allowing him to get in the car after he
catches up to me on foot.

“
What is wrong with you today?” he
asks.

“
Nothing,” I say unconvincingly. “I
just have a lot on my mind, that’s all.”

“
Did you and Jon have a fight?
Camille says you met him after lunch.”

“
Of course not,” I say.
Not really anyway.

“
Anything you want to talk
about?”

“
Nope.”

“
Okay.”

“
Hey, can you call my dad and let
him know where we’re going? My phone’s in the side pocket.” I shove
my purse toward him, keeping my eyes on the traffic in front of me.
“And Kaydra knows we’re coming?”

“
Yeah, she–what the hell,
Livvy?”

“
What?” I turn to see him holding
up the Plan B box. “I said my phone was in the
side
pocket!” I exclaim, smacking him hard in the
chest. “I didn’t give you permission to go through my purse, you
ass! Just... just put it back, Finn!” My face must be the color of
my brick red shirt at this point.

“
I know what that is,” he says,
tucking it back in slowly. “Are you?”

“
No!” I say quickly.

“
You don’t know,” he says. “That’s
why you have this. Because you don’t know.”

“
There’s no way,” I reaffirm, but I
know I don’t sound convincing.

“
Then why is it in here? You’re
planning
to have an unplanned
pregnancy?”

I glare at him, pursing my lips. I feel the lump
return to my throat, and I look away before he can see the tears
start to well up in my eyes.

“
No, no way,” he says. “I know Jon.
He doesn’t mess up,” he says. “That guy’s careful about everything,
especially where you’re concerned.”

“
I know he is. He always is. We’re
always careful.” My voice wavers as I talk.

“
Then why is this in here? Who’s it
for?”
Why didn’t I think of
that!?

“
Clara,” I blurt out.

“
Liar,” he says. “You wouldn’t get
that upset over it if it was Clara’s.”

“
Fine, it’s mine, Finn, okay? But I
don’t need it, so just drop it!” I swipe at a tear, unable to hide
it from him.

“
Okay, okay,” he says
calmly.

“
And don’t say anything,
please.”

“
I won’t, Liv.”

“
Can you call my dad now, please?
Just tell him what we’re doing.”

“
Yeah, sure.” Their conversation is
brief, and Finn relays my dad’s message once he hangs up. “Just be
home by eight,” he says, “and don’t make any trouble for
Kayd.”

“
Right,” I whisper. Don’t make any
trouble for Kaydra, my aunt who’s eight months pregnant.
Pregnant.
My stomach drops
again.

“
Do you need a minute?” Finn asks
when we reach Kaydra and Steven’s apartment. I shake my head,
gathering my purse and books before getting out of the car. Finn
opens the lobby door for me.

“
Don’t be too much of a gentleman,”
I mutter. “They’ll know something’s up.”

“
Shut up,” he laughs
weakly.

Our younger twin cousins sit in the living room,
watching television while Finn and I read over our lines. We don’t
have to read the whole scene, which is a relief–especially because
Finn can’t even seem to remember his first two lines. The show
Stevie and Danny are watching keeps distracting Finn.

“
Kaydra, can we use one of the
boys’ rooms? Finn’s ADHD is flaring up.”

“
Sure,” she says. “Danny’s is much
cleaner,” she suggests. I stand up, pulling Finn’s shirt until he
stands up with me, following me into my cousin’s room.

I’ve read this scene many times, and the words seem
to come easily to me, as if they were written to go together. Finn
struggles, though, disinterested by the material and notoriously
bad at memorization. I create some pneumonic devices in an effort
to help him remember the first letter to each line of the first
stanza. I don’t know how else to help him. In the end, we decide
that I’ll mouth the words with him, guiding him along. It won’t
affect my grade, and he really doesn’t care about his. We both read
silently. At least I do, anyway.

“
Little Liv?” my uncle calls out to
me when he gets home. “Finn? I brought dinner.” My stomach hasn’t
calmed down from earlier, and I don’t have any desire to eat
anything.

“
You go on,” I suggest. “I’m not
hungry.” Once Finn leaves the room, I pull my knees into my chest
and duck my head to block out my surroundings.

“
Livvy?” my aunt speaks softly from
the doorway. “Can I come in?”

“
Of course,” I laugh, looking up,
my eyes instantly drawn to her bulging belly. My stomach feels even
worse now. Kaydra walks in, sitting on Danny’s bed.

“
You okay?”

“
I’m fine,” I lie, looking away. I
don’t want to see her in her current condition. I don’t want to be
reminded of my problem. I think about excusing myself and going
home, but I know Finn and I need to practice a little
more.

“
He said you were having some Jon
problems.”

“
He doesn’t know what he’s talking
about, Kayd. Jon and I are fine.” I shrug my shoulders, feeling
more tears coming. I duck my head quickly, knowing she’ll realize
I’m crying but not wanting her to see me anyway.