Olivia (75 page)

“
I didn’t take it,” she says
softly, then looks up at me desperately. “How did I not take it?”
she says, now panicking.

“
I shouldn’t have put them on the
nightstand,” I say apologetically. “Take it now. There’s a bottle
of water in there.” Her hand in mine, I take her into the parking
garage and find the nearest bench, right inside the entryway. I
stand as she takes a seat, hoping to provide her with some privacy.
She glances around before reaching in the bag and producing the
packet. She stares at the pill just like I did while I twist the
cap off the bottle. Once freeing it from the packaging, she takes
the pill quickly, and keeps drinking the water.

As she pulls the drink to her lap, she says, “It’s
fine, though.”

I don’t respond immediately, not knowing what
exactly is fine. She doesn’t care, or… She looks up at me, her
eyebrows raised. It was a question.

“
Yes.” I feel certain it’s fine,
but I’m not sure I can persuade her to believe that. I sit next to
her and try to calm her down by rubbing her leg. We both stare idly
at the ground as I wait for her to speak. I tap my foot to hers,
but she stays still and rigid. “I guess you can only be so careful.
It was stupid,” I say, ashamed. “I shouldn’t have asked for that.
I’m sorry.”

“
But it’s fine, right?”

“
Yes, Liv. I’m sure it’s fine.” My
voice sounds weak, though, and unconvincing. She digs around in the
bag some more, and I brace myself for her response to the final
’gift’ in the bag.

“
Plan B,” she says, reading the
box. “What’s this?”

I don’t answer her. It says it right on the box. She
just needs to let it sink in.

“
The morning-after pill?” Her
breathing quickens, and her once pale face turns bright red. “You
said it’s fine.”

“
It is, baby. I’m sure it
is.”

“
Then why did you give me this if
it’s fine?”

“
For
your
peace of mind. I’m confident, Liv. It would be highly unlikely
based on where you are in your cycle, and you’ve been taking the
pills regularly… until last night.”
Why did I
take them out of her purse? Why did I make her prove to me that
she’d been taking them?

“
But you’re worried?” she
asks.

“
No. I’m not.” In truth, I am. I
decide to breeze past the fact that she’s on other medication that
could hinder the effects of her birth control. “It’s just… I don’t
know, it’s just a reality these days, Livvy, and this is exactly
the situation this product was made for.”

“
No, it’s not a reality,” she says,
her voice cutting. “People lived for thousands of years without
needing a morning-after pill–”

“
Right, because there were
back-alley clinics that would be happy to risk a mother’s life
while aborting a child with a coat hanger. Who needs a pill?” This
is a much safer option. Why can’t she see that?

“
That’s crass, Jon. That’s
awful
.”

“
I’m sorry, but it’s true. People
have been… you know…“

“
Terminating pregnancies since the
beginning of time?” she says, mocking me. “It’s as common as
breathing!”

“
That’s not what I’m saying,” I
interrupt, putting the offending box back into the bag. “Let’s not
fight about this, okay?” I hate that she’s angry, but she has every
right to be, and I know it. I feel awful, and I should. I’m
supposed to be the responsible one in this relationship, and I’ve
just led her down this path that could ruin all the plans we have
for our futures.

“
I don’t need it, though, do I?”
she asks meekly.

“
I don’t think so. I just want you
to have a choice, that’s all.”

It obviously wasn’t the right thing to say, and I
figure that out a split second after saying it. “I don’t want to
make that choice.” I cradle her face and try to reassure her with a
smile. “What would you do?” she asks.

I sigh first, then answer, just so she can sense the
conflict. “I don’t want to tell you what to do. And honestly, I
wouldn’t ask what you decide to do, Livvy. I don’t think you can
possibly be pregnant, so in my mind, you never have to take it.”
When I say the word pregnant, it takes all the air from my lungs,
the reality crushing me once again.

“
So you’ll leave me with the
consequences, and the wondering, and the guilt? That’s not fair!”
she yells loudly, so loudly I am sure other people can hear
her.

“
I never thought of it that way.” I
hold her hand in mine. “You’re right. What would I do?” I ask,
trying to put myself in her shoes.

“
Yeah. What would you do, if you
were me?” she asks.

I shake my head, not knowing if my answer is the
right one. “I wouldn’t take it. It’s my opinion that a child is
never unwanted in this world, even if its parents choose to give it
up. If my dad had his way, and acted on his gut instinct, I
wouldn’t be here right now.”

I know she can see the logic in my statement as she
leans into me with her arms around me. I hold her tightly and place
a soft kiss on the crown of her head. “But that’s just what I would
do.”

“
Do you need your car, Miss
Holland?” I’m startled by the attendant. I tell him no as Livvy
rushes away from him and out of the garage. I smile at him
apologetically.

“
How much do you think he
heard?

“
Nothing. I was watching, Olivia,”
I tell her confidently, although I
wasn’t
watching. We were quiet when it counted. “No one was around. He
just walked up.”

“
You’re sure?” She looks so
frightened, and I still can’t believe what an ass I was yesterday.
I will never put her in that situation again. I don’t like the
feeling at all, and no matter how wonderful it was in the moment,
it’s not worth the amount of worry it’s causing.

“
Positive.” I pull her into me and
begin guiding her up the street. “You don’t have to decide now. The
instructions say it’s effective for up to 72 hours after, so you’d
need to decide by Wednesday afternoon.” I rub her arm
slowly.

“
We’d need to decide,” she
argues.

“
I’ll support your decision, either
way,” I tell her.

“
What if I don’t take it, and I
am?” Her brows lowered, she looks angry as she asks her direct
question. I’m sure she’s not pregnant. I know she’s not.

“
I’ll support you, Olivia.” We stop
walking, and I turn her to face me. “I love you, okay?”

She starts crying. It was so stupid and risky. And I
know she’s worrying needlessly, but I can’t convince her of it. She
crosses her arms across her stomach, letting the tears fall
naturally.

“
Shhh… don’t do that, it’s fine,” I
whisper to her. “I think we’re making something out of nothing.”
The lunch bell cuts me off. When I look down at her, she’s smiling
at me. She trusts me. Why, I’m not sure, but she does. “I don’t
think you’re pregnant.” I nod my head at her.

“
I don’t think I can take it.”
Confused, I look at her questioningly. “The Plan B, I
mean.”

“
Okay,” I tell her quickly. I’ll
stand by whatever she decides. I don’t want to be the one to decide
because I don’t want her to resent me. Ever. For anything I’ve
done.

“
Really?”

“
I’ll support your decision. You
and I, Liv, we’re bigger than this situation. Whatever happens, the
two of us are going to be just fine. Together.”

She smiles again, reaching to kiss me. “Can you come
over tonight?” she asks, beginning to walk back toward her
school.

“
I can’t. I missed my lab this
morning, dealing with this. There’s another session that I can go
to tonight. I have to do it if I want to pass my quiz on Friday.
Tomorrow, though. I’ll come over as soon as class is
out.”

“
Don’t come over,” she says. “Let’s
meet somewhere.”

“
I’ll meet you at school,” I
suggest. “We can figure it out from there.

“
Okay,” she agrees. Quickly, she
transfers all of the pills to her purse and hands the red bag back
to me.

“
But I’ll call you after my lab,” I
tell her. “Try not to worry about it though, okay?”

“
Right,” she says, but I can tell
by her tone she won’t be able to. “I’ll try. You
either.”

“
I’m not worried.” I’m not worried
that she’s pregnant, but I am worried about what’s going on in her
mind. I kiss her, telling her I love her while our lips are still
touching.

“
Love you, too,” she says. After we
part, and she walks toward the school, I’m fairly certain I hear
her crying again. My heart is pounding, suddenly very nervous and
feeling not so sure of our situation as I was just a few seconds
ago. I should go to her, but I don’t. I let her go, turning around
only once before I start toward the bus stop. Her back to me, I can
see that she’s holding her head in her hands.

I can’t believe I put her in this position. Never
again. I will never, ever ask her to do that again.

Emi Lost & Found series

Book One: Lost and Found

Book Two: Time Stands Still

Book Three: Never Look Back

Prequel: Not Today, But Someday

Choisie series

Book One: Contessa

Book Two: Olivia (coming 2014)

Book Three: Dear Jon (coming soon)

Book Four: Livvy (coming soon)

Stephen War & Peace series

Prequel: Number 7

For extra content, please visit
authorlorilotto.wordpress.com/extras

Lea Burn for my itemized list... and for
nine years–or is it ten?!

Nikki Haw for dealing with my insecurities
and talking me through my own decisions.

Angela Meyer, Alexandra González, Christi
Allen Curtis, Katie Galatzan and Clarinda Alcalan for reading my
drafts and giving feedback.

TAT for always being respectful, patient and
loving all those years ago.

The Street Team for being so supportive, no
matter what. You ladies are smart, creative, beautiful, and sneaky
as hell.

The readers who have been more than
accepting of vague release dates, which is not common in this day
and age of self-publishing. Thank you all for giving me the time I
needed to get Livvy’s story right.

Inspired by popular fiction and encouraged
by close friends, Lori L. Otto returned to writing in the winter of
2008. After a sixteen-year hiatus, she rediscovered her passion for
fiction and began writing what would soon become her first series:
Emi Lost & Found. Although the books of Nate, Emi and Jack have
concluded, other characters from the books continued their own
journeys, demanding their stories be told.

Lori is currently working on two spin-off
series. Contessa, the first in the Choisie series, is Lori’s fourth
full-length novel, and her first foray into the Young Adult / New
Adult genre.

Website:
http://www.loriotto.com

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http://www.twitter.com/lori_otto

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http://www.goodreads.com/lori_otto