Olivia (71 page)

“
Shut up. Why’d you need my
computer?”

I navigate to the ManhattanNOW website and do a
quick search for Livvy. I have several photos to choose from, but I
decide on one from her 16th birthday party - a blurry one taken
with a telephoto lens through a dirty window. You can barely even
tell it’s her. I hit the print button, and wait until the printer’s
finished before getting up.

“
You’re funny,” Jacks says with a
laugh.

“
Wait, it’s not color?” I ask him,
looking at the greyscale photo.

“
That one’s downstairs for the kids
to use. It’s wireless, I can redirect–”

“
Nope, this is even better.
Thanks.” I walk briskly to the door, passing my father.
“Dad?”

“
Yeah, Matty?” he asks from the
living room recliner.

“
Come with me.” I wait for him at
the front door.

“
What are you getting me in to?” he
complains, getting up from his cozy seat. He follows me outside, up
to the awaiting crowd of paparazzi.

“
Where’s Livvy?” the guy from
earlier asks.

“
You asked for a picture,” I tell
him, holding the piece of paper out to him, “so here it
is.”

“
You know that’s not what we
meant,” a girl next to him says.

“
No, I think we were both pretty
clear. Now please leave.”

“
Just have her come out on the
porch!” someone else whines.

“
So you can get another blurry
picture of her standing around doing nothing? This isn’t news,
people.”

“
She’s just a young girl,” my dad
chimes in. “Leave her alone. Leave my family alone.”

“
Mr. Holland, can you tell us a
story about Livvy? Maybe something about when she was
younger?”

“
I can not,” he says
simply.

“
I don’t know if you know this, but
Dad’s retired FBI, and he knows a lot of people who can make your
lives miserable–”

“
Your dad was a traveling
salesman,” someone else says from the back.

“
That was his cover. Look at him.
He’s still fit and sharp as a tack, so I wouldn’t press your luck.
He can make some calls.”

“
That’s bullshit,” the ManhattanNOW
guy says.

“
Yeah?” Dad refutes. “Well, I’ve
got the captain of the NYPD on speed dial. I bet he’ll vouch for
me.”

“
We’re not breaking any
laws.”

“
New York Penal Code Section 240.35
- Loitering,” Dad rattles off. “Number five: A person is guilty of
loitering when he loiters or remains in or about school
grounds.”

“
This is a street of private
residences,” someone argues.

“
Turn around,” I say, pointing to a
church day school on the opposite corner.

“
I think this is
about
school grounds,” Dad says. “It’s at least
something we’ll take to the courts when we press charges. I don’t
know if you know this, but my son, Jacks, has a team of very good
lawyers. They’ve never lost a case.”

A few of the photographers begin to walk away.

“
My granddaughter isn’t coming out
today.”

“
But she’ll be at the funeral
tomorrow?”

“
That’s a private ceremony, as
well,” I tell them. “I’d keep my distance.”

“
Captain Ambrose will be in
attendance, in fact,” Dad adds. The only way we actually know him
at all is through Donna. She was active in some police
charities.

The rest of the group finally disperses.

“
Hey, Manhattan-yesterday! Didn’t
you want your picture of Livvy?”

“
Screw you,” he says lazily as he
walks past.

“
The FBI, Matty?” my father asks as
we go back inside.

“
I know your intellectual interest
in the Bureau would have made it a perfect job. If they’d have
quizzed you, you would have fooled them all.”

“
I feel used,” he jokes.

“
Well, you were my only option.
They all know Jacks is a pussycat and wouldn’t hurt a mouse. And
Steven’s not around, or else I would have just brought him to be
the intimidator.”

“
Matty?”

“
Yeah, Little Liv?”

“
Can you help me with something?”
She lingers at the top of the basement stairs.

“
Sure.”

“
In my room?”

I follow her down the stairs, arriving in the empty
basement. It’s the first time all week the television hasn’t been
on and blaring some movie I never wanted to see. Trey always gets
to choose, and his taste in film isn’t very refined. Yet. I have
plans for my nephew.

“
Come on,” Livvy urges me. When I’m
inside, she offers me a seat on the bed and shuts the door. “What’s
going on?”

I relax a little. “We were just dealing with some
photogs who wanted a little Livvy-time. I took care of them.”

“
Not about that,” she says. “Why is
my mom having weird conversations with me?”

I shrug my shoulders, unsure of these conversations.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. What is she saying?”

“
Thing like, ‘I never should have
sent Matty with you,’ and ‘I’m sorry if I put you in a position to
make choices you didn’t want to make.’”

“
Interesting,” I say, shaking my
head. “I have no idea. I’ve said nothing to either of your parents.
Our secret stays between us.”

“
That’s just it,” she says. “There,
like, is no real secret. Yes, Jon and I slept together, but that’s
it. We’ve fallen asleep together before, and it wasn’t scandalous,
nor did it prompt mom to act all guilty and sad.”

“
You’ve slept together before?” I
ask her, shocked. I didn’t know, and the fact that she says it like
this makes me think I should have known.

“
We’ve fallen asleep – on the
couch!” she exclaims. “We did the same thing in Mykonos. We
just
slept together. As in the act of
sleeping, Matty, that’s all.”

“
Naked,” I say. “I saw Jon getting
dressed.”

“
You saw
what
when Jon was getting dressed?!” She looks
mortified.

“
Ass, Liv. He wasn’t facing us. He
turned the lamp on before he pulled on his boxers. It got my
attention. I didn’t stare. He’s yours, I get it.”

She glares at me with disapproval.

“
But I’ve never met a guy who got
naked in bed and didn’t screw around, you know? Is the kid a
saint?”

“
What? No, we…” I look at her
curiously. “I mean, so we made out a little? And we weren’t fully
clothed. No big deal. We didn’t go all the way.”

“
Well. It’s none of my
business.”

“
But we didn’t, Matty. I swear. So
there’s no real secret to keep. Except Mom and Dad probably
shouldn’t know we slept in the same room. And they shouldn’t know
about any nakedness. So there’s a little secret,” she rambles, “but
it’s not the big one you think you have to keep.”

“
Okay, okay. Like I said when we
were there, what happens in Mykonos stays in Mykonos,” I remind
her, then I suddenly start to consider Emi’s worry. “Livvy, did I
do something wrong? Did I put you in a bad position that night? I
just assumed it’s what you wanted.”

She swallows hard. “Matty, you didn’t do anything
wrong. It certainly wasn’t the plan, but it’s what we wanted.” She
nods her head convincingly. “We’ve never really had time alone like
that, and it was just nice to be next to him, and not have to worry
about anyone walking in on us kissing, or constantly checking the
time so we made curfew. It was nice. I promise.”

I assumed they had planned to have sex that night.
An overnight trip to Greece without parents? The fact that it
wasn’t planned makes her assurance to me
less
convincing. If there was no forethought, no
planning, then their actions were purely on impulse? Were they at
all prepared? “You know… just asking the question, had anything
happened but understanding nothing did, did Jon bring any
protection? Because when I asked him, he kind of blew me off.”

She turns bright red and tries to force a smile. “Of
course. But we didn’t need them.”

“
Right,” I say, still feeling
uncertain about my own decisions. “If I ever make incorrect
assumptions, Liv, you’ll tell me, right?”

“
Oh, God, Matty, now you’re
starting to sound like Mom.”

“
I’m not a parent, Liv. I don’t
know how to do this right, so I’m allowed to ask
questions.”

“
You can’t ask a kid how to
parent,” she says laughing.

“
Because kids don’t make good
parents,” I say, still watching carefully for her reaction. Her
smile fades slowly as she understands my statement.

“
They do not,” she finally says.
“Not that I’ll ever have to find out.”

“
Because you won’t be a parent,
though, right?” I push for further clarification, now just asking
to be funny. “And not because you don’t think you’re a kid anymore.
Right?”

“
I’m not a kid,” she responds
simply. “And I will be a parent someday.”

I think she senses the heart attack she’s giving me,
and relishes in the extreme discomfort of the moment. She’s a
masochist, this kid. Or
not
-kid.

“
But it will be at least seven
years down the line, at this point.”

“
More is better,” I say lightly.
“No need to rush things.”

“
Alright, alright, Matty. Are we
good?”

“
We’re good, Little
Liv.”

Jack’s car pulls up beside me, but I don’t stop
until I hear Livvy’s father talking to me.  “Jon, please get
in the car.”

“
Absolutely not.”  I start to
move on.

“
We need to have a
talk.”

I stop in my tracks, turning to face him once more.
 “Yes, we do.  But I’m not taking any more handouts from
you, including a car ride.”

“
That’s silly–”

“
It’s the principle,” I tell him
angrily.  “I’m tired of it, Jack.”

“
Maybe you can consider it the last
one,” he says.  I waver, but end up getting in the car.
 “Where are you off to?”

“
I was going to go to my uncle’s in
Queens.”  Jack nods, and I give him directions to get
there.

“
I really think you’re blowing this
out of proportion,” he starts.

“
I don’t care what you think,” I
interrupt.  “This is my life.”

“
No, it’s my daughter’s life, Jon.
 You forget that she’s the common link here.  You decided
to take things to the next level with her.  You decided to
make it that serious, when she’s still just a kid.  The fact
is, she’s still my child, and I want what’s best for her.  I’m
not going to back down because you don’t want my help… because this
is her life, too, and I’ll do anything I can to make it better for
her.  Where she’s involved, I’m involved… at least until she’s
eighteen and old enough to make these decisions on her own.
 Until then, I’ll make the right decisions for
her.”

Helplessness overwhelms me.  “With all due
respect, Jack, your daughter is no average seventeen year old
child.  She is old enough to make these decisions.”

“
That’s your opinion… which in most
cases I do respect, but not this one.  If you have learned
anything about me in your young life, you know that I like to help
in situations when I can.  What surprises you about this
one?”

“
It’s just a complete waste!” I
tell him, frustrated.  “You might as well just roll your car
window down and throw wads of cash out to the streets.  It’s a
better use of your money.”

“
Your mother deserves a
chance.”

“
She’s had plenty in her life.
 She doesn’t want to change.  I could have told you this
and saved you some regret.”

“
I have no regrets, Jon.  Not
with your mother, and you shouldn’t give up on her so easily.
 The fact is, she is a part of your life, whether you want her
to be or not.  And I am a part of Livvy’s life– whether you
want me to be or not.”

“
I can’t accept it,” I tell him.
 “Let me deal with my family.  You have your own to worry
about.”

“
Jon,” he says with a slight laugh,
“you’ve become part of this family.  My daughter loves you.
 She talks about a future with you.  I had two choices:
fight that idea and ruin what I have with Livvy, or accept you as a
part of her life.  As I got to know you, there was really no
reason to fight it.  You’re a good kid.  You love her.
 You treat her with respect.  As a father, that’s what I
want my children to find.”

“
I just want
her
,” I explain to him.  “And I appreciate the
support you and Emi have given me in understanding my background
and family situation, but you can’t continue giving my family
money.  I don’t want to be indebted to you.  It’s too
much of a burden.”

“
You are not indebted to
me–”

“
But in my mind, I am.  I’m
not going to accept handouts from you anymore.  I can manage
my life on my own, and someday soon, I’ll be able to provide for
myself.”