Nothing Stays In Vegas (10 page)

The thought had crossed my mind as well. 

"Besides, Leo, as hot as he was, was just a fling," Nicole said. "A rebound. I mean, you just finished things with Andrew. It's only natural that you would need a little release, you're only human. And good for you for choosing someone so completely scrumptious."

Andrew and I had been split up for months. Had he slept with other women by now? He must have. I shuddered at the thought, but it didn't seem to bother me as much as it once would have.  

 "It felt like more than a rebound, Nic." I unrolled the napkin and start shredding it into a pile on the table. 

But why didn't he meet me? And the girl at the desk said he was with another woman. It didn't make sense.

"Trust me, it was just rebound sex, Lexi. Relationships do not happen in Vegas." Nicole spun around in her chair and got the attention of two young men nursing coffees and cookies. "Excuse me," she said to them. "Sex in Vegas, it's never serious right? I mean, Vegas is just for fun, not relationships. Am I wrong?" 

Both men stared at Nicole like she'd just offered herself up as a test case. The blond on the right, gave her a smile that suggested he was more than willing to prove the theory. His friend, recovered from his shock, said, "Absolutely. People come to Vegas for one thing and one thing only. Fun."

"Nothing serious, right?" Nicole asked and winked at the blond,

"Nothing serious," he agreed.

"Nothing serious," I mused and considered the pile of napkin I had created. 

Nicole flipped around in her seat, leaving the guys staring open mouthed at her back. "Lex? It was just a one night thing," she said, her voice soft, almost consoling me. I looked up.

For some reason, I felt like I might cry. 

"You got it out of your system. Now you can go home and get started on your new, Andrew free life." She put her hand on mine, stopping it from tearing up more napkin. "Trust me."

I blinked hard but the memory of Leo kissing me before leaving the hotel room invaded my brain. He'd looked into my eyes and said, "I don't even want to leave you for a half hour. We don't have much time together. I'll just call in sick and shower here."

"Don't be silly," I said. "Just go and change. I'll see you soon."

"Are you sure?"

"Go," I said and I laughed. 

I'd laughed. I was so sure I would see him later that I laughed.

He kissed me again, and touched my cheek before he walked through the door.

I didn't even have his phone number. I could've looked at his phone when I had it, but I didn't think of it. Why would I? And now, even if I wanted to, which I did, I couldn't contact him.

"Maybe you're right," I said to Nicole. 

"Of course I'm right. In two weeks, you won't ever think about him again. Trust me."

Chapter Eight

The flight home was uneventful, the way good flights should be. Nicole slept, her sunglasses in place, her mouth hanging open. It was a good thing we still had a day before we had to be back at school. Nicole would need at least that long to make herself acceptable to advise her students on their career choices and solve their latest teenage dramas.

I should've slept myself since I'd only had a few hours the night before, but every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was Leo. His mouth right before he kissed me, his back as he lay sleeping, his hands running down my body, his smile before he walked away. 

I tried to push those thoughts from my mind and remember what Nicole said. It was only a fling, a Las Vegas adventure. It didn't mean anything. I didn't even have his phone number.

God, I was such an idiot. 

The minute my marriage breaks up, I fall for the first random guy that shows me any attention. But, I couldn't shut off that little voice in my head that kept telling me it was more than sex. 

My brain wrestled back and forth like this until finally the pilot's voice came on and announced our landing. I didn't have time to think about Leo while we gathered our bags, waited in line and eventually cleared customs. 

When Nicole and I pushed our way through the double doors into the main terminal, I had my eyes on a reunion between a man and his wife and child. They were hugging and kissing and when he spun around, a child in his arms, I saw his face. He was one of the young men from the Starbucks back in Vegas. The blond one that was ready to hop into bed with Nicole. He saw me looking and had the decency to look embarrassed before he turned around again. 

"Lexi, check that out." I turned and followed Nicole's gaze to see a man holding the biggest bouquet of flowers I'd ever seen. The arrangement was so large, his face was obscured. 

"Wow," I said. "It looks like someone was missed. A bit much though, don't you think?" I tightened the strap of my duffel bag over my shoulder and began to squeeze through the crowd to the taxi stand.

"I wonder who she is," Nicole said. She followed close behind me so we didn't get separated in the crowd.

"Who?"

"The woman who's getting the flowers." 

"Lexi," a familiar voice called over the crowd. I stopped in my tracks and Nicole slammed into me from behind.

"Geez, Lex." Nicole took a step back.

"Lexi," the voice called again and shivers rippled down my body. I turned, slowly. 

There was no way. 

The massive bouquet of flowers seemed to be floating over the sea of people, coming straight for us.

"It looks like you're the lucky woman," Nicole muttered as the man with the flowers broke through the crowd. 

"Andrew?"

"Lex, I'm glad I caught you," my ex-husband said. I guess technically we were still married, but still.

"What are you doing here?"

Andrew glanced at Nicole who wasn't even trying to hide her shock. "These are for you," he said and thrust the flowers at me. 

I juggled my purse and duffel around for a moment. "I don't really..."

"Right," Andrew said and withdrew the flowers. "I didn't think about that. I'll hold onto them." 

He was nervous. Andrew was never nervous. In our entire relationship he was always so self assured. Almost always. The night he proposed to me was a notable exception when he was sweating so much I thought he might have a fever. When he finally popped the question I was so relieved that he wasn't coming down with a terrible disease that I said yes. I would've said yes anyway.

"You didn't answer her question," Nicole piped up. "What exactly are you doing here?"

"Nic, maybe you should-"

"No," Andrew interrupted. "She's right. You deserve an explanation." 

Andrew dropped to one knee, right there in the middle of the crowded terminal. I could have killed him right on the spot. For a moment I considered running. But there was nowhere to go. He laid the flowers down and reached for my hand. I sort of half dropped my duffel bag; I was so stunned and let him take my hand.

"What are you doing?" I hissed.

"Oh my God," I heard Nicole say beside me.

He ignored both of us and launched into what was clearly a rehearsed speech. "Lex, I've been a fool."

"What else is new?" Nicole said.

Andrew ignored her and continued. "I miss you, Lexi. For the last few months I've done nothing but work and come home wishing you were there. I miss your voice, your beautiful face, your...I miss everything. I want to work things out. What we have is special. Love like ours doesn't come along every day. We can't just end it over a disagreement."

My mind whirled. Was this really happening?

"We're good together," Andrew was saying, "everything about us works. We work. We fit together. The last few months have been awful. I've missed you so much. Coming home every night to an empty apartment, without you there, it's wrong, Lexi. I love you."

My mind replayed his words in slow motion and then again, faster. I fixed on one word. A disagreement? Did he say that? 

"Can we work it out? Please, Lexi, I'm down on my knees begging you."

"A disagreement?" I said. "Is that what it was to you?" 

The long talks and debates, the heartbreak and tears over his refusal to have children were much more that a disagreement. It wasn't like we were fighting about leaving dirty socks on the bathroom floor. That was a disagreement. This. This was a deal breaker. One I agonized over for months, spent hours, days in bed, crying about. Ending my marriage because I wanted children wasn't a decision I took lightly. It was far more than a disagreement. 

Andrew sensed my anger and squeezed my hand tighter. "That's the thing, "he said. "That's all I've thought about since we split. And I'm not willing to lose you over this. I'm hoping we can put it behind us and one day think back on it as a little disagreement instead of what it's become."

My sleep deprived brain was having trouble keeping up with what he was saying. 

"I can't think about this now," I said and jerked my hand away. I still had Leo's touch on my skin, his kiss on my lips; I could not even begin to think about what Andrew wanted. 

What did he want? To get back together? Now? 

Andrew stood, but I no longer cared if he was embarrassing me. My mind was spinning and I had the strangest sensation that the floor was tilting under my feet. 

"Lexi, please."

"Andrew," I said focusing on his face to keep steady, "what exactly are you saying?" 

He took my hands in his again and although I wasn't sure I wanted him to hold me, it did help with my dizziness. "Lexi, I love you." He paused to let the words sink in. "And I know you still love me too." 

It was true, even through my anger and hurt I hadn't stopped loving Andrew. 

"I know having a child is important to you," he said.

I opened my mouth to speak, but he put his finger up to stop me. 

God, I hated it when he did that. Leo wouldn't have done that. 

The thought of Leo at that moment caught me off guard and again, my mind started spinning with too many things. I was so focused on trying to control my whirling thoughts that I almost missed it when Andrew said, "And if it's that important to you, then it should be that important to me too."

"What?"

Andrew dropped to his knee again. "Alexis Titan, will you do me the honor of continuing to be my wife and starting a family with me?"

I couldn't breathe. I was vaguely aware of people in the airport who'd stopped what they were doing to watch us. I heard Nicole let out a squeak from somewhere behind me. I closed my eyes and Leo's face materialized. I could almost feel the gentle way he'd touched my cheek.

 
It was just a fling. Relationships don't happen in Vegas.
Nicole's voice repeated in my head.

Maybe it was.  Maybe she was right.

Andrew was right in front of me offering me what I'd always wanted. And I loved Andrew. 

Then why couldn't I stop thinking about Leo? 

When I opened my eyes again, Andrew was still staring at me, a question in his eyes. 

This was real. This was now. Leo wasn't real. It was just a weekend. This was my future.

 I nodded slowly and Andrew let out a whoop. He jumped to his feet and pulled me into his arms.  

"Lexi?" I heard Nicole ask. "You're sure? You were just saying-"

I turned to face her and the tears in my eyes must have stopped her from saying what she had planned. Instead she offered me a small smile and I turned around, buried my head in Andrew's shoulder and tried to stop the tears that had started to flow. He was offering me everything I wanted. A child. A family. 

Then why was I crying?

"I'm sure," I said. Andrew's arms felt warm, comfortable. Like I everything I ever wanted.

###

It was easier than I thought to enmesh our lives again. I went with Andrew back to our apartment that night and we made love. 

This time without a condom. 

I kept my eyes open wide. I was terrified to see Leo's face. Terrified that I would compare Andrew to him, to his touch, his kisses. I don't think Andrew noticed my distance, my complete preoccupation with the idea that I was doing something wrong.

The next day, he helped me move my things back home and our lives seemed to pick up where they'd left off. Once in awhile, in the weeks that followed, Nicole would ask me if I was happy, which I thought was a strange question. Of course I was. 

Wasn't I? 

And anyway, Nicole had always loved Andrew. He was great, we were great. 

Things weren't perfect though, of course they never had been. But this time it was different. I was different. I couldn't shake the feelings of doubt I had. Before our split, and before going to Vegas, I thought my relationship with Andrew was exactly how love should be but meeting Leo changed that. 

Even with Andrew I'd never had the instant connection that there had been with Leo. The indescribable feeling of being whole with another person. Even though Leo had 'ditched me', as Nicole said. The knowledge that I would never see him again made me sad. Devastatingly so. I went through the motions with Andrew, but I couldn't give myself over entirely to him.  

Four weeks after our reconciliation, I came home from work, dropped my purse by the door and went straight to the bathroom where I removed the box from the paper bag. I read the instructions. Twice. 

When I was finished, I flushed the toilet, washed my hands, left the stick on the counter and when into the bedroom. I didn't take my eyes off the clock while I folded the laundry. I made neat piles of towels, stacking them on the bed. 

Exactly five minutes passed. Five minutes where I tried and failed, to think about anything except the test I'd just taken. Not a test of skills like a driver's exam when you were sixteen. Not a test of intelligence like a course final that would determine your GPA. But a test of life changing proportion all the same. 

Leaving the towels half folded, I went to the bathroom door and stopped. The little stick sat benignly on the counter. From here I couldn't see the indicator window that would tell my future.