My Guardian Angel (22 page)

Coming Together

Jason finally moved in.
At first, I was a little nervous, well more like apprehensive. I needed my space to write and I was afraid of this new commitment, but Jason took all my fears away, except one.

Every day he went out
there, I was scared to death to lose him. I hated that he was a SWAT officer, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. To him, his job was his identity and I couldn’t ask him to give it up because of my fear. Believe me, I wanted butto, but I didn’t, I couldn’t.

“I'm off to work.
It’s a double, so make sure to put the alarm on when I leave,” he said, as he leaned up against the door frame, looking at me typing.

“I know Jason, I know.” He was so annoying with the stupid alarm.
He would tell me every freaken time he worked.

“Seeing you annoyed only makes me want to irritate you more
,” he warned. I stopped typing and glared at him.

“Go already.
I’ll put the alarm on.” I waved him off.

The moment I heard the door close I felt at peace.
I was finally alone. I had the itch to write this story, which gnawed at me for weeks. The words flowed like never before. I loved it. It was late into the night when I realized I forgot the stupid alarm. I went downstairs and armed it. My phone began to vibrate; shit, I had forgotten it upstairs on my desk. I ran up the stairs to catch it, but I missed the call. It was Jason. I pressed play on the message he left me.

“I know you probably forgot the stupid alarm. I miss you and love you. Keep writing and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I sat content in my life
with everything the way it should be. My writing had gotten better. No doubt because of the change Jason had done to me. My world no longer was confined to these four walls. I now had a life outside. One I loved and treasured; one that, thanks to Jason and his love, I was able to finally attain.

Me:
  I love u too u crazy copper

Epilogue: Jason

I looked down at her text. Kass was always a pain in my ass, but I loved my hazel-eyed girl. I loved her more than anything. I knew I didn’t deserve her, but I was going to make sure I was good enough. I wanted to be the one to take care of her in every possible way.

Growing up in foster care wasn’t easy.
Once I turned eighteen, my parents’ money came to me and my life changed. I was left with a huge amount of money and only one dream. To find the girl, the one who kept me safe.

I never told her how I found her, but when I became a cop
, I went through the files and there was her name. My intention was never to go this far with her. I just wanted to know how she was. That night was unbearable for both of us. I could still hear the gunshots…even the weight of the marble statue in my hand. I never wanted to hurt my brother. I just wanted him to stop. I will forever carry that guilt with me.

It hurt like hell that she couldn’t remember that night or me, but I realized it was best for her.
I didn’t want what my brother did to fuck her up more. So, I let it go. Thinking I would move on, but little did I know my heart had already decided on her. There wasn’t anything I could do about it. I had fallen so fuckin’ hard for Kassia Preston that I hardly knew what to do with myself.

Like a jerk, I sought out my girl whenever I needed her. Not really caring about anything else
except seeing her. When it started to rain and I was close to her house, my instincts kicked in and I needed her with me. I needed Kassia. My Kassia. Damn, I was a selfish prick. When she finally opened the door to her place and invited me in, I knew I was fucking up my plans to stay the hell away from her. But I couldn’t help it. She had this hold on me. I hated the fuckin’ rain, but with Kassia around it finally felt normal, safe.

When I saw her all dressed up
the night, I went to pick up my
hoodie, I nearly lost my fuckin’ mind. She looked so damn beautiful. I knew if I didn’t do something that some fuckin’b prick would try to hit on her. Fuckin’ right, I called my buddy up. He loved the night he had spent with her friend Genna, so he didn’t mind calling her up again, helping me find my girl. Once I saw her in the bar, I felt like I could breathe again. Her hazel eyes went wide the moment she saw me. I didn’t care what she thought as long as I was there with her.

Seeing Kass all panicked at the hospital nearly floored me.
I couldn’t let my hopes get high. What if she wasn’t there for me? What if for some strange reason, she was there for something else? But the moment she heard my voice and turned my way, I knew. I knew my girl was there for me. Her hazel eyes took me in and I could see relief wash over her. She even ran to me with open arms, taking me in the moment she touched me. She held me tightly against her small frame. She sighed in relief as she murmured that she was glad I was okay. I didn’t know how much I could lose myself in her small embrace. I was three times her little size, but there she was, holding onto me and making me feel like she was home. I was so taken aback, that like an asshole, I asked what she was doing there. For some stupid reason, my pride wanted to hear her say she was there for me. The moment I asked her, I regretted it. I could feel her whole body stiffen and pull away from me. God, I was a fuckin’ asshole. I had embarrassed her in front of the guys, not realizing they were there standing behind us. I watched as she squirmed and tried to figure out what to say. I knew the moment she said she was there for work she was lying. It was written all over her face. Even a rookie cop would see it. When she ran off saying she needed to leave, I wanted to grab onto her and bring her home with me. I wanted to fuck her senseless and hold her close. No one and I mean no one, had ever cared that much for me, not since my parents died. When she finally admitted she was there for me my heart burst. I knew I had to stay away from her. I didn’t want to hurt her, but damn this fuckin’ heart of mine and how much it wanted all of her and more.

I tried desperately to push her away, but the little tigress knew exactly how to pull me into her arms.
She said she’s weak and vulnerable, but it’s me who was powerless and defenseless when it came to her. She held my world in her little palm and when I looked into her hazel eyes, I lost all resolve.

The night I woke up with Kassia in my arms nearly scared the living shit out of me.
Here I was, holding onto her. Her little body fit so perfectly in my arms, that I scarcely knew what to do. God, I wanted her, I so fuckin’ wanted her. I had to fight with myself when I picked her up in that sexy, little dress of hers, which I should have killed her for wearing. Seeing her in that dress made my insides come alive. Damn this girl, my girl, she was sexy as hell. The thought of some other guy touching her brought out the killer in me. I held her tenderly when I slowly walked over to my bed and gently placed her down. I watched as she slept. What the fuck was I going to do now?

I could no longer block out the vivid images that haunted me. They came to me in my dreams and played out over and over again. What would Kassia do if she ever found out the kind of fucker I was? That fuckin’bquestion burned into my mind every day I was with her. When she came back into the living room that night and I saw her standing in front of me, the little dam I had built up to protect her and I broke. The way she held me, the way her warm, little body felt in my arms. Her soft lips, as they finally touched mine. I lost all my power and took what I kept denying I wanted. Fuck the consequences. I’d deal with them later if it meant I could have my girl with me.

It destroyed me the day she found out who I really was.
My whole world came apart. I thought she would never remember. But she did. The look on her face when our eyes met shattered my soul.
“It was you,”
I remember her saying. I knew then and there she and I were over.

I fought hard to give her space, but I needed her.
Something inside me needed what she could give me. Just like her, I was prepared to give her whatever she wanted, as long as I could be near her.

Darios wasn’t the happiest when we finally met after she found out.
He blamed me for bringing back memories that Kassia didn’t want to remember. I told him that I loved her and I wanted her safe. That fuckin’ stalker scared the living shit out of me. Both Darios and I agreed to keep watch over her. She wanted nothing to do with us, but at least we could come together and protect her.

The moment I found out she was taken
, I lost my fuckin’ mind. The guys at work had to corner me, as I broke everything in sight. They had to finally pin me down and remind me that she was out there, all alone without protection. My body shook violently as I stood there at a loss at what to do. Thank God, she had her phone on her that night. It was Gab who reminded me about it. I was able to put a tracking device behind her case when she didn’t notice. That fucker Frank must have just wanted her and didn’t bother to think about her phone.

I called even though the guys told me not to.
I needed to hear her voice, to know she was safe. But the guys were right. Just hearing her and how scared she sounded was my undoing. I felt hopeless the moment Frank screamed on the phone and hung up. Images of Kassia being hurt whirled through my mind. I was helpless. I had told her I would protect her and I didn’t. I fuckin’ failed.

When we reached the warehouse, I was told to stay back.
I had no choice except to do so. My commanding officer ordered it. I watched as they barged in. I heard three shots. My blood ran cold and I ran inside to see. There she was screaming. Frank’s body had fallen on top of hers. She kept kicking, trying to get him off. I ran to her. One of the guys took him off her, while Gab cut her tie wraps. Her wrists were bleeding. Her face was swollen and bludgeoned. The fucker beat her so badly. My blood pressure rose, but I needed to stay calm. I took her in my arms and held her. She finally relaxed and cried like a little baby. I carried her to the gurney, but she wouldn’t let go. She held onto me so tightly like I was the only thing that mattered. I was such a prick when I promised her I wouldn’t ever let go. I knew that night that I was going to leave Kassia for good, but like a dirty fucker I promised her I wouldn’t.

I took the time to care for her while she was in the hospital.
I kept my distance, but I still couldn’t be completely cold to her. How could I? This woman owned me. I watched her every day, fighting to get back to her life. Something inside her had shifted. The quiet Kassia, who was a slight recluse, was now changing.

The day we found out she was going to be
discharged from the hospital was the day I decided to cut my ties with the woman I loved more than my own self. I sat at home knowing she was going to figure it out soon. That Darios would tell her what I told him to say. My heart wrenched at the thought of her hurting, but I was trying to be noble, trying to do the right thing. I had basically cut her out of every aspect of my life. I blackballed her, like she said. I needed to. How could I say that I loved her, when here I was, a man who failed to protect his woman?

I was able to avoid her.
It worked for a while, until the stubborn woman appeared in front of my condo building. The fuckin’ doorman, the idiot! I know I had told him she wasn’t allowed inside, but he could have taken pity on her. The fucker left her out there for hours. I had walked in and asked him how long she was out there for. When he said over six hours I nearly lost it on him. I went back outside to see her shaking. She was crying. This was going to be it. The Kassia I knew was going to leave, go home and move on. But she wasn’t the Kassia I knew anymore. She stood her ground and fought for us. The moment I saw her I instinctively took her hand. She was frozen. Stupid girl. I bit my tongue, trying desperately not to yell at her. I had to act aloof, distant and then maybe that way she would give up and finally leave.

Kassia fought, Jesus, did she fight. She wanted us, wanted me.
Told me she loved me. My heart was frantically trying to jump out of my chest, but I stayed as distant as I could. I didn’t know how much I could hurt her until that night. The look on her face as she recoiled from me was pure misery. The anguish I felt when she told me never to appear in front of her again. I watched her leave, dejected and broken. Yeah, I was a fuckin’ piece of shit.

I wanted to run after her to sooth the pain I inflicted, but I didn’t. I stood fused
to the spot she left me in. I was the biggest piece of shit.

It was the book Kassia had written
which Tiff sent to me, which changed everything. She kept telling me I should read it. I knew she was a great writer, but I didn’t want to read the words she wrote.

I was nothing without Kass.
All I did was work and sit in my living room, trying hopelessly to stop my desires for her. I craved her. I needed her. Fuck! That girl ran deep inside me. That’s when I saw her book on my coffee table. I reached for it. I flipped through the first pages and there in cursive was a simple dedication.

To Jason

I read all of it in one night. I felt like she was right in the room with me, reading it out loud. I could hear her thoughts and her voice in my head as I read the words she so beautifully put together. It was about us, about her and about me. That was the moment I decided to stop fighting. I knew then and there that Kassia wasn’t going to move on from me. All she did was give me what she thought I wanted. Kassia was mine and I was hers. There was nothing the two of us could do about it. Tiff had texted me that Kassia had a book signing coming up. I was going to go. I was going to make this up to her and take back what was mine.

I knew Kass enough to know she was going to make this hard.
There was no way around it. I was going to have to grovel, as I should. I was an asshole to her.

I stood in line and waited.
I looked around. I was the only man at the signing who was heterosexual. I laughed and watched as my baby worked. Everyone here loved her. Tiff tried hard to make her stop, but not my girl. My girl wanted everyone here to get what they came for. God, she was so beautiful. She had picked up a new pen when it was my turn. I guessed she didn’t see me.

“Name?”
she asked.

The very sound of her voice consoled my broke heart.
I laughed a little at how much I sought her out, how vital she was to me.

“Jason. Jason Theroux.”
When I said my name, her face changed. Her stunning hazel eyes glazed over. I had hurt her bad, real bad. She took my book, signed it, and handed it back to me without another glance. Yeah, I deserved that and worse.

I waited for her.
The fuckin’ girl decided to take a walk late at night. Tiff texted and told me. When I saw her I was going to throttle her. I waited and a few minutes after my text, Kassia walked out. Her small frame was hidden behind her large scarf and coat. She loved the snow. 

Before I realized
it, I opened my mouth and called out to her.

“Is it true? What you wrote?” She turned to see me standing at the doors of the bookstore. “Is it true the things you wrote? Is this how you really see me?” I asked again. She said nothing and walked away.

“Was he truly a man or a mere dream I had dreamt of
? A person like him could only exist in my mind. For how can a man as beautifully scarred as him, hold my beating heart? I knew. I knew when I saw him, that he carried the other part of my soul. I must have willingly given it to him in my dreams, for it was always his to have.”
She stopped. Of course I would memorize her words. They were for me to know and understand.