Motown Breakdown (Motown Down #4) (45 page)

“That’s different,” he says frowning. “I was protecting her. He put his fucking hands on her.”

“Oh, I remember,” I say pouring another shot. “You wouldn’t find it sexy if she killed for you?”

“No.”

“Pity.”

Checking his phone, he frowns again before sending a message and tucking it away. Looking up at me he asks, “You said Sun was basically a bad ass, she can handle herself?”

“She’s more than a bad ass, Crews. She can handle much more than herself, trust me.”

“Good,” he mumbles rubbing his hands through his already messy hair.
Does he even wash it?
“That’s good because Sun is taking Luna to make one of her videos.”

“What?” I shout dropping the shot glass. “Oh, fuck me…”

“You just said she was a bad ass! She’ll protect Luna, right?”

“She’ll protect her,” I mumble. “With her life.”
I should be with her, holding the button down to record
… “Convenient you left out that Luna was with her.”

“I told you, girl shit.”

“Another shot?” I ask reaching forward.

“Thinking I’m going to need it.”

He had no idea…

For another hour, we made small talk, yet were both aware that the women we loved were out causing trouble, together. Luna would come home to her man, Sun… would not. When he reached for his phone again, I sat up waiting for news. “Do I want to click the link she just sent me?” he asks grinding his jaw.

“No,” I groan stealing it from him. “But I do.”

With wide eyes and growls from each of us, we watched our women roll a dealer, who according to Sun’s intel was pushing to kids. Sun had a thing about dealers using kids as in, she didn’t like it. With Luna narrating like it was some NatGeo special, I saw Sun use her martial arts training on the guy and then she tripped and fell on her ass. With her hands full of drugs, they both take off running while Luna does a shit job of holding the camera. For a full minute all you can see is pavement until they stop to catch their breath.

“Are you drunk or clumsy?” Luna asks laughing.

“Both,” she giggles. “I say we keep the weed and toss the smack.”

“I’ve never smoked weed,” Luna admits.

“Want to?” Sun asks then burps.

“My bestie is the shit!” she whoops then says, “Calamity Jayne, bitch!” before shutting down the film.

Blinking at me, Crews looks close to passing out. “What just happened?” he asks slowly.

“The fucking apocalypse,” was my answer. Just then his phone beeps and he starts typing furiously. As for me, I sat back wondering how Sun went from wanting to kill Luna to causing trouble with her. It shouldn’t surprise me they hit it off, but it did. Sun could be forgiving when she wanted to be and let’s face it, you can’t help but love Luna. They formed a bond and I was glad for it. I was also jealous of it too. Then again, Luna didn’t lie to her. I did.

“She’s high as a kite,” he says standing. “Sun dropped her off at home and she’s demanding snacks now. Jesus, Shade, I don’t know if them being friends is a good idea.”

“A wise man wouldn’t get in the way of this,” I inform him.

“Yeah well, a wise man is also stopping to get her snacks now.”

Waving me off, he storms out no doubt heading to the first store he could find to get Luna her snacks. Smiling to myself, I could only imagine what was waiting for Crews when he got home. Then I frowned because Sun would be going home to an empty house while I occupied this one.

My muse was in a tizzy.

The last two weeks have flown by and when I passed my mirror this morning, it showed. My hair was hit, my eyes had bags and I hadn’t changed my clothes in days. Luna and I have been in touch via text but I don’t bring Shade up and neither does she. Crews, however, wanted to meet me and if I had to guess, it was because he didn’t want his woman hanging out with me.

Men.

When I watched the footage of our raid, I decided to put it up for my fans to see even though she captured partial images of my face and hers. The images were quick and since there were two of us and it was so out of focus, we’d be fine. I had a few hours to kill before they showed up so I showered (I was stank) and started my edits. My story pulled itself together beautifully and though it was painful, it was also the closure that I needed. This would be the first story I have ever written that didn’t have the traditional happy ending I was known for.

The girl didn’t get the guy. Instead she got a broken heart and for once in her life, a true sense of self. She was grateful to the man who showed her it was okay to be different and she would remember him always. Last night, while wrapping up the acknowledgments, I dedicated the book to him with a simple thank you at the end. I even promised myself I’d send him a copy when it was done.

Yes, it hurt.

It might always hurt, but my time with him although short, was worth the pain.

Rubbing my wrist, I push away from my desk when I hear a knock on my door. Opening it up, I expected Luna and Crews, not Razor…

“Uh hi?” I offer, opening the door to invite him in.

“Need to talk to you,” he says making himself at home. “You ever get sick of this view?”

“All the time,” I admit. “So talk.”

“You check the comments on your videos lately?”

“I stopped looking a few weeks ago,” because shit was getting out of hand. “Why?”

“Whoever this is means business,” he says tapping his knee with his finger. “We need to do something about it. Someone has a hard on for you.”

“Now there’s a visual,” I mumble. “Fans do weird shit. I can’t freak out every time someone posts something I don’t like.”

“Yeah well maybe you should,” he says handing me his phone. “Read it.”

I shouldn’t have read it. This person was posting comments about beating me, raping me, and making me beg for mercy. Okay huh? My fans even got in on it, essentially cyber stalking him for messing with me and it pissed the guy off further. “This isn’t good,” I say tossing his phone back.

“You talked to Shade?”

“No.”

“You gonna?”

“Again, no.”

“He’s in bad shape,” he says very matter of fact. “He watches the door waiting for you to walk through it. Pathetic but I can’t really blame him either. Business is in the shitter ‘cuz his head ain’t in the game. Still think he needs to know.”

“So he can what? Kill people electronically? Our relationship ended, Razor. I’m trying to move forward and running to him because of some whack job won’t accomplish anything. The world is full of crazies and as long as I write, I’ll be subject to it.”

“Maybe I’ll tell him,” he threatens.

“So tell him,” I threaten right back. “Honestly, I think you’re full of shit, otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”

“Mouthy,” he smiles. “I’m here ‘cuz I’m looking into this and when I find him, I’m gonna kill him for you.”

“Not sure it warrants a death sentence but in any case I can take care of myself,” I remind him.

“Shouldn’t have to,” was his response. Then there was another knock and he pulls out his gun in protection. “It’s Luna and Crews,” I tell him opening the door.

“Hey bestie!” she chirps then looks at Razor and narrows her eyes. “Uh, Sun? Why is he here?”

“Was just leaving,” he says coming to stand next to me.

“Good because he wouldn’t want you here,” she snaps.

“He’s my boss, not hers,” he growls and then Crews takes up space next to Luna. Wow, he really is middle aged… “Watched out for your ass for years and when he ain’t around you’ll talk to me?”

“I wasn’t
allowed
to,” she growls like she’s ready to attack.

“Never stopped, Sun,” he says putting a hand on my shoulder. Okay, this was getting out of hand. “I’ll be in touch,” he says pushing passed them both.

“Lucy,” she says wagging her finger at me. “You got some ‘esplaining to do.”

“You’re Crews,” I extend my hand, ignoring her comment. “I’m Sun, nice to meet you.”

“Yeah,” he says shaking it. “You too, I think…”

Despite the rocky start, Crews eventually warmed up until Luna asked, “What’s next?”

Saving all of us undue stress, I let her down easy. “Nothing lined up right now, sorry. I’m in editing mode or as I call it, bitch mode.”

“That’s depressing,” she sighs.

“You talk to Shade?” he asks out of the blue.

“Nope.”
Look at me! Not even one tear!

“So you’d be cool with him having a new woman?” My reaction would shock me later, but for now I had to hold it together.
Can’t kill whoever she is
… “Judging by your red face, white fists and tick in your jaw, I’m going to go with no.”

“Luna,” I growl. “Control your man before I do it for you.”

“Yeah, so I didn’t know he was going there,” she mumbles then slaps him upside the head. “I’ll call you later, let’s go, Crews.”

“She didn’t answer me.”

“She isn’t going to either,” I growl in anger.

“If you’re team Shade we’re going to have problems,” she says putting her hands on her hips. “As in, you’ll sleep on the couch with an ice pack on your balls.”

“I’m thinking the answer is important, mama,” he says pulling her close.

“Why? So you can piss her off like you did asking Shade the same thing?” she argues then looks at me. “Shade doesn’t have another woman, Sun. That was Crews’ lame ass attempt to push you two back together.”

“Woulda worked,” he says rolling his eyes.

“Or gotten you killed,” she says rolling hers.

Throwing his hands up in surrender, he takes Luna and leaves. As for me, I curled up into a ball while the tears flowed freely.
Hurts so much
…

However, once I recovered from the emotional kick in the dick, I revamped the entire ending to the book. Not only did I get my happy ending, Shade had vowed to spend the rest of his life worshipping me and loved every second of it. Making Shade my love-bitch wasn’t the intent, but it felt right.

Take that!
I mentally cheered when I finished.

Sending the revised copy to my editor, I attached the cover which was subtle and the synopsis. She assured me she could fast track it and to expect a copy in the mail when it was done. Many feelings were waging a war in my heart but the strongest was anticipation.
Would he like it?

She wins.

I couldn’t do this anymore.

Whatever it took, I’d do it.

Grovel? Happily.

Cut my heart out? I’d send it in a box with a ribbon.

Bottom line, I needed her and couldn’t go another fucking day without her. Months of this was killing me.

With my phone in hand, the beginning of a text that said
please come home,
I was about to hit send when Razor strolled in, uninvited. “We need to talk,” he says leaning against the wall.