Motown Breakdown (Motown Down #4) (41 page)

“I’m sorry,” I grate out in shame. I had sworn to protect her and didn’t. “Do you want to leave me now?” Sitting up she frowns before taking my hand. “No,” she says softly. “I was hoping that… I could um, stay?”

“Because you love me?” I throw out.
Stupid man, too soon, stupid…

“Well,” she tries.

“Because I love you, Sun.”

“You do?” she asks breathlessly.

“You were never leaving,” it’s true and felt it needed saying.

“I wasn’t?”

“I’m a ruthless criminal and you belong to me,” I tell her yanking her to me. “Forever.”

“You need a sidekick anyway,” she says kissing me softly. “A sidekick that loves you back.”

“You fought for me.”

“I’d fight for you again too.”

“How can you love me?”

“How can I not?” she asks and when I raise an eyebrow she giggles.
Fucking gorgeous…
“I’ve never been in love,” she confesses. “Until I met you. When
he stabbed you, I thought of life without you and well… you saw what happened next.  I went for the trusty screwdriver because a month with you isn’t enough, Shade.”

Speechless, I watch her and she watches me. I didn’t have to convince her to stay, because she wanted to. For the first time ever, someone wanted me back.
Sunshine Cortez was her name…

I stopped counting the days…

Shade was a demanding patient.

While he insists that I ride him due to injury, I did because I liked watching him come. And he was about to just as soon as I… “Sun, fuck!” throwing his head back and clutching my hips, he rode it out for a solid thirty seconds. Leaning down, I kiss him before I roll off.

“Where are you going?” he asks fighting to stay awake.
He fucks me so good he can’t stay awake after, how adorable…

“To rinse off,” I say pointing at his cock.

“I like you wearing it,” he smiles and yawns at the same time. Kissing him, I saunter to the bathroom to rinse off and when I come out, he’s out.
Even criminals can’t resist a good orgasm…
 
Quietly making my way to his office to check my messages (since I forgot to charge my new Mac), I was caught off guard when I saw Razor watching me from the door.

“He asleep?” he asks coming into the room.

“Yeah,” I say sitting down. “He needs his rest.”

“He took Devyn out,” he says in awe. “Guy’s a monster. If anyone could do it, it’s him though.”

“I should have filmed it,” I lie on Shade’s behalf. “Seriously, Shade is a scary motherfucker.”

“He ain’t feared for nothin’ female,” he says lounging against the door.

“You took care of things then?” I ask wanting this over with. He was doing us a favor getting rid of Devyn and I didn’t want him shot for it. Plus, the no-men-in-the-house rule was stupid, they weren’t guard dogs, they were people; but one thing at a time was my motto.

“Yeah,” he says pushing off the frame. “All good, I was never here.”

“I didn’t see a thing,” I smile logging into my email.

“You’re good for him,” he mutters.

Looking up from the screen, I simply say, “I know,” before getting back to work. Excusing himself, I settle in to get caught up on author related stuff. In my social media account I had another message from that damn video. Clicking on it, the message was clear and it made me shiver.

The Shade won’t keep you hidden forever.

“You okay?” he asks, startling me.

“Um yeah,” I mumble reading the message again.

“What’s got you spooked?” he asks coming fully into the room. Could I trust him? I know Shade did (to a point) and I needed some advice because I didn’t want to upset him while he healed.

“Here,” I say moving over. “Start here and scroll down.”

Leaning over my shoulder, I ignore his hands on the back of my chair but I couldn’t ignore his anger when he started digging his fingers into it. “He know about this?”

“No,” clicking the window closed and logging out, I turn to him.

“He should,” he says staring at me.

“This guy knows who he is, who you are. Who filmed the race?”

“Shade did,” I explain. “It’s a thing I do, filming my adventures. My followers who read me can watch the videos and it enhances the experience.”

“Calamity Jayne,” he says studying me. “Heard of you.”

“You read?”

“I
can
read,” he says sarcastically. “I said I heard of you, not that I read your shit.”

“It’s not shit,” I defend. “And I apologize if I implied you were illiterate.”

“Relax,” he says putting a hand on my shoulder. “I got you.”

“Razor,” Shade bellows from the door. “A word.”

Removing his hand, he moves away but I couldn’t allow him to take the heat for this so I stood to defend him. “Wait,” I say staying where I was. “I asked him to come.”

“Is that so?” he says low.

“First, don’t take that tone with me. Second, you should be resting and third, yes, I invited him in.”

“First,” Shade glowers. “I do not have a
tone
. Second, it’s a fucking scratch, and third you do not have the authority
to
invite him in.”

Another time I’d find Razor’s reaction hilarious. During our exchange it didn’t go unnoticed by either of us that he moved closer as if to defend me. Shade was not pleased about this at all. “Allow me to share something with you,” I say approaching with Razor close behind. “He works for you. I belong to you, so by extension, he works for me. After the beat down you gave Devyn, I politely asked him to take care of the mess. Then I asked him to see me when it was completed which, he did. I assumed you didn’t want Devyn’s blood staining your cement floors. PS, you’re welcome honey.”

Blinking at me, then to Razor (who shrugs), his jaw ticks and you could see he wanted to do the alpha thing but, he surprised me when he didn’t.

She was a vision…

That’s all I could think as I watched her stand up to me and protect Razor. For the first time in twelve years, I watch as he takes her back instead of mine. Loyalty can’t be bought, not long term anyway and his willingness to protect Sun, even from me, kept him alive. It may have also earned him a bit of respect.
As if I’d ever hurt her…

After the beat down you gave Devyn, I politely asked him to take care of the mess.

I expected Sun to think less of me, see me as an inadequate protector, but she didn’t. Sun was a brutally honest woman, for her to cover up my mistake was her way of protecting me. She knew my men looked to me for leadership and divulging a weakness, any weakness, could cause problems. As far as Razor was concerned, I prevailed.

Because she made it that way.

However, I was still pissed that he had his hand on her and was trying to decide how to handle that. These rules were in place for a reason and if I started breaking them for Sun, my entire empire would collapse. Razor would fall first, followed by the rest, one by one like dominoes. Men were built to protect women. If I allowed them to know her, care for her there would come a point where they would give their loyalty to Sun over me if they felt I was a threat.

They would be helpless not to.

“I trust he won’t be found,” leveling him with the look that says,
today I’m letting you live…

“Naw,” he says glancing at her. “Since when do you fight with tools?”

“That wasn’t me,”
A fucking screwdriver…
“That was Sun. Apparently she doesn’t like cheaters.”

“It’s true,” she chimes in smiling at Razor. “I don’t.”

“How’d he cheat?” he asks her, not me.
Maybe I will kill him after all…

“Brought a knife to a fist fight,” she says with a red face. “Shade was whooping his ass and before he snapped his neck, I um…”

“She stabbed him in the neck with a screwdriver,” I say proudly.

“Because he cheated?” Razor asks trying not to laugh. Cheating in our world was a rule not an exception. Trust me, meeting Sun and bathing in her honesty has been an…adjustment.

“What part of I-don’t-like-cheaters escaped you?” she asks putting her hands on her hips.

“Remind me never to play cards with you, female,” he says moving past her. Then approaching me he leans in and says, “She’s good for you,” before walking out the door. With him gone, I stalk toward her but she puts her hand up to stop me, assuming I was going to bitch her out. She’d be right, but I had planned to be quick about it.

“Wait,” she says. “First, how are you feeling?” Just like that, the anger melted away.

“For the last time, woman, it was a scratch.”

“Tell that to your face,” she points. “Which, by the way, looks like you went to town at the seafood buffet but have an allergy to fish.”

“Are you saying I’m unattractive?”

“No, I’m saying you’re swollen,” she smiles before adding, “But I’d still do you.”

“Is that right?”

“With my eyes closed.”

“You said you loved me,” I pout. “Through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, which includes fights and injuries.”

“I said I loved you but we didn’t exchange vows last time I checked. Fine,” she says throwing her hands up. “I’ll keep my eyes open. Happy now?”

“Would you?” I ask folding her into me.

“Would I what?”

“Exchange vows with me?”
Please say yes…

When she gave me that deer in the headlights look I pushed my disappointment aside and kiss her instead. I was moving too fast, I needed to slow down, but fuck if I knew how. Even if the voice in my head was reminding me that I had already exchanged vows, with Luna.
Shut the fuck up
… I reminded that voice. Luna and I exchanged vows for the sake of survival. Well, she did anyway. At the time, I had actually thought I wanted the union, that with time and patience, I could make her happy.
And how did that work out? Your wife is living with a middle aged male with a beer gut…

Backing away, I decided to give her space knowing I needed some too. I couldn’t handle another woman not loving me. Sun said the words but had she meant them, in my mind she’d have been happy to wed me. Now I wasn’t sure if she spoke true or if I wanted her to love me so badly that I’d take whatever she was willing to give. Sun was giving me part of herself, but not all of herself.

You’re a hypocrite…

Add that to my list of sins.