Motown Breakdown (Motown Down #4) (44 page)

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“Because you don’t know my story,” she shrugs. “Lucky you, I came by to tell you in person.”

I wanted to ask how she knew where I lived but, she peaked my interest and I wanted to hear her story. “Marco raised me as his daughter, but I wasn’t. Needless to say, he found me a bit of a disappointment because I hated the world I was raised in. I met Shade when I was a teenager, he came to work for Marco and when he saw how I was treated, he told him he wanted me. Wait,” she says touching my knee. “Let me explain, okay? Marco beat me in place of hurting the girls he took and Shade didn’t like it. Anyway, we were friends and I trusted him. But when I turned eighteen, I was expected to marry him.” Speaking softly, she takes my hand and I let her. “I didn’t want to marry him but I had no say and we both put it off for as long as possible. Marco would kill me if I didn’t follow through and I knew to survive, that eventually I’d have to. A few months ago we did, but I was in love with Crews. Please understand when I lived in that world, I was obedient, I was also loyal to Shade. He saved my life and I owed him, so, I let Crews go to uphold our deal. If you believe anything, please believe me when I tell you I have never been in love with him. He’s also never been in love with me either. He thinks he was, but for years, it was pounded into him that he had to love me.”

“The moon,” I whisper tracing her wrist.

“I got this when I was a baby,” she explains. “Marco put it there, and when it faded he would have it touched up. Listen, Sun, the moon was meant to be a symbol of possession, ownership and a way of keeping me safe. But that is not why he gave it to you. I know it hurt you when he defended me, but you have to understand why he did it.”

“Why then?”

“Because I can’t defend myself.”

“How could you be raised like that and not be able to?”

“Well for one, I can take a beating but fall short at giving one,” she says simply. “And like I said, I despised all of it. Stealing girls, killing people, power plays, and the bloodshed. I never fit in. I may have been given to Shade but the marriage, which isn’t legal by the way, only lasted a few months. Most of which I spent in a deep depression. That world terrifies me, but not you. You liked it didn’t you?”

“Yes,” I admit. “I liked going to work with him, having his back.”

Like she was hit with a bolt of lightning, she flies off the couch while her hands talk for her. “He took you to work with him?”

“Uh yeah,” I say wondering why this freaked her out. “A lot actually.”

“Did you kill people?”

“A couple,” I shrug. “There’s been fights, a car race, some orgy dinner party, and a challenge.”

“Holy shit!” she wheezes clutching her chest. “Start from the beginning.”

So I did.

If a month of hell wasn’t enough, now I had Luna’s old man (literally) sitting across from me sharing love advice. When he showed up, I almost laughed but then I saw he was serious and kept my mouth shut. I asked where Luna was knowing he hated being away from her and he just shrugged citing,
girl shit
.

You’d think seeing him in person, knowing he was fucking my wife,
ex-wife
…would hurt but it doesn’t. What does hurt and was damn near unbearable is missing Sun. She hadn’t written any blogs or post any author news and I know this because I was signed up for her newsletter. I worried that my sins stole her will to write and that gutted me too. Even Razor looks like he wants to cut me and I was almost depressed enough to let him.

I’ve done so much wrong…

“You have a point,” I say with frustration lacing my words. “Make it.”

“I may not understand your rules but the guy that invented them is dead last time I checked. Which means you have the authority to make new ones. Stop thinking of her as a possession and start thinking of her as a person.”

“If I still thought of her as a possession, she’d be here chained to my side, Crews.”
He would never understand
…

“Whatever,” he grumbles. “You going to go after her or what? You already stopped trading women or whatever it was you did, what are you waiting for?”
Oh I don’t know, maybe Sun running through the door screaming for me
…

“The skin game was getting boring,” I admit. Plus, meeting her changed my view on women. There would never be another like her and I wanted no part in placing others with matches. Let them figure their own shit out. “Besides, I get a better return on my other ventures.”

“Luna said you put a moon on her,” he says eyeballing me. “That’s a big deal around here. So now you’ve got your woman running the streets with a meaningless tattoo. What happens when she meets someone else? Luna said she’s and I quote,
wicked hot
. She won’t stay single for – ”

“I will kill any man foolish enough to take what belongs to me!”  I threaten with much more emotion that I was comfortable showing. Putting his hands up in a show of surrender, I ignored his
I told you so
smirk and told him to leave.

“Love hurts,” he says quietly. “True love is fucking torture. Your woman can heal you, like mine healed me.”

Great, she’s in love with Dr. Phil
… “Would you have went through with the challenge?”

“For Luna, absolutely.”

“You would have died,” I point out.

“I was dead already,” he says remembering the pain. “Without her, living didn’t make sense.”

“I miss her,” I admit. “Sun,” in case he thought I meant Luna. “She was my equal.”

“Tell me more about her,” he asks sitting back down.

So I did.
 

Luna had me enthralled.

Even my muse popped a bottle and settled in. Her story was a best seller too. Oh and that
Bridges of Madison County
scene was priceless! I decided if I wrote a story about her I would name her Meryl.

Each time she spoke of Shade it was with fondness and while it hurt to hear it, it was clear she felt equal parts appreciative for all he’d done and guilty for not being able to love him. They were both in a no win situation, each trying to make the best of it and I got that but…

“The night before I left, he said
My Luna
before he fell asleep.”

“Dumbass,” she mumbles. “I’m new to the sisterhood, but I feel like we need to just cut through the shit and be real with each other. Let’s call it the sisterhood code.”

“Sisterhood code?” I ask smiling.

“Why the fuck not?” she smiles back. “It’s our code, we do what we want.”

“Agreed. No more shit, just real talk,” I say biting my lip. “I don’t like that you slept with him. I worry that he still thinks of you when he’s with me. The first time we hooked up, it felt robotic and I called him on it. I felt like his mind was elsewhere or it was rehearsed.”

“Real talk is serious,” she says leaning forward. “He called me that night. He asked me if he was robotic, if I ever enjoyed it and I told him the truth.”

“Which was?”

“That I didn’t,” she sighs looking guilty. “That he was predictable and I felt like shit for it, but it’s true, Sun. I’ll always feel awful for not telling him how I really felt but honestly, I never thought he’d let me go. I didn’t want to hurt him unnecessarily either. He was a prisoner as much as I was. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have survived. But that’s all in the past, the sisterhood wants to know when you’re going back.”

“I’m not,”
I can’t
…  “This is one story that I can’t see ending happily.”

“For a romance author, you suck at actual romance,” she says rolling her eyes. “Come on, Sun, this is your story! He’s hurting too, wanting to fix things but not knowing how. You knocked him on his ass, he doesn’t know which way is up! You are the exception to everything, you know that right? He took you to work, he included you! Hell, he let you use guns, crowbars, and screwdrivers! Shade is selfish he never lets people steal his kills, but he let you! Girl, he gave you a Mustang!”

“Shelby,” I correct.

“Whatever,” she waves dismissively. “I saw the video and seriously? I got a lady boner.”

“I did too,” I chuckle. “Shit, Luna, I don’t like feeling second best.”

“No one does,” she says leaning into me. “But the thing is, you’re not. Yes, he should have told you the truth but we aren’t technically married Sun, so what could he say? No, he shouldn’t have called me for advice but I’ve called him for help too. We never dated, both of us were clueless, still are. Crews and I had a rocky start but I would do it all over again. Wouldn’t you?”

“I don’t know,” I exhale.
“I’m not good at this stuff. Plus, I didn’t lie so I shouldn’t have to cave first.” But I miss him so God damn much…  “Shit.”

Skipping into the kitchen, she comes back with two glasses and a bottle of wine. Opening, pouring and then watching me, she looks deep in thought until she smiles. She was up to something…

“You’re everything I’m not,” she says clinking our glasses. “You’re brave, artistic, and super gorgeous. Plus, you’ve got this evil side to you that Shade loves. And you’re tall, I’ve always wanted to be tall. Moving on,” she says curling back up. “You’re the anti-Luna and
that’s
why he loves you.”

“I wish you’d stop putting yourself down. I think you’re pretty fucking amazing, I also think Crews is a lucky man. But you know what else I’m thinking?”

“Felony?”

“Close,” I smile then slam my wine back. “How do you feel about starring in one of my videos?”

“Don’t fuck with me, Sun,” she says throwing her wine back. “The sisterhood is serious business.”

“I wouldn’t fuck with you,” I smile. “Okay fine, I would. But not about this.”

“What did you have in mind?” she asks rubbing her hands together.

“There’s this dealer…” I begin and when I finished, we’d both grabbed the bottle of wine and slammed it in the car on the way to our next movie.

Crews liked whisky.

There was hope for him yet.

While he sat patiently listening to me wax poetic about Sun, he asked a question here and there but mostly he look stunned. For me, a woman who would kill for her man was hot. For Crews, he looked scared. Obviously, Luna has left some things out. When I called him out on killing one of Marco’s men, he sat up straighter.