Motown Breakdown (Motown Down #4) (49 page)

“Shade tatted himself with a sun for me,” she smiles big. So fucking gorgeous and happy.
I did that for her, would do anything for her
… “We did the vow thing and all of you have cameos in my book.”

“Shut up!” she squeals. “I’m in your book?”

“And I’m married,” she laughs. “But yes, you are and so is Crews. You two inspired me, Meryl.”

“Who the fuck is Meryl?” asks Crews and I was equally curious myself.

“I’m Meryl, now let me focus please,” Luna says pulling Sun to the side. “I inspired you, seriously?”

“You have no idea,” Sun says wiping Luna’s eyes. Women…“But you’ll have to read it and see for yourself. You too, Crews.”

“Great,” he grumbles but I caught his smirk.

“What about me?” I pout wondering if I inspired her too. But when Razor walks in, he heads straight to Sun ignoring all of us, but especially Luna.

At some point he’d need to knock off the cold shoulder. “Well hello to you to,” she says giving him that look only Luna can pull off.

Handing Sun a box, she kisses his cheek before tearing it open. “Here’s yours, Razor,” she says after picking through the top finally finding his.

“Mine?” he asks confused. “Yes yours, I wrote about you too.”

“Fuck,” he groans before blushing
again
. Seeing a chance to bolt, he takes it but clutches her book to his chest in case anyone was dumb enough to try and steal it.

“Well you’re both here,” she says grabbing two more and checking inside the cover. “I was going to wait until Christmas before – ”

“Gimme!” Luna says snagging it out of her hand. Whipping it open, she gasps. “To Meryl,” she says through more tears. “Sisterhood code forever, love Sunshine.” Openly weeping, Crews and I stare at the floor while Sun hugs her again.

“I don’t get it,” Crews interrupts.

Peeking up from Sun’s chest she says softly, “It’s our motto, our girl code.”

“I still don’t get it,” he says opening his cover then frowns. Looking up at Sun you could tell he didn’t want to ask but he had to. “I don’t get this either.”

“Read it out loud,” Luna says waving her hands. When he hesitated, she took the book and squealed again. “This is from Bras and Bullets!
For he was so consumed with love, no flames could touch him. He would challenge the devil and she would call on God himself
.
Not even death would keep them apart for he would sell his soul and crawl from his own grave to find her where she would be waiting.
Holy shit, this is us before it was us! It’s you, Crews! How amazing is that? You read it, you should know this part.”

“You read me, huh?” Sun asks trying to hide her laugh.

“I admit nothing,” he says taking his book back and clutching it like Razor did. “But the violence was really good.”

“Well,” she says giving him a hug that startled him. “He reminded me of you. A man so determined to make his woman happy that he would challenge the devil for her.”

“I did do that,” he drawls proud of himself and for once I had to admit, challenging me was pretty fucking brave. For a construction worker.

“And you lived to talk about it,” I felt it needed pointing out that my generosity knew no bounds. 

Crews rolled his eyes while Luna was eager to leave. “I need to read,” she says grabbing his hand. “Like now.” As she pulls him away, Sun calls out, “Hey Crews?”

“Yeah?”

“Author’s love reviews from fans, just sayin’…”

When it was just the two of us again, she reaches in the box and hands me a copy. “This one,” she says softly. “Is yours.”

Kissing her hard on the mouth, I pulled a Luna. Clutching the book, I haul ass into my office and hear her laugh before I slam the door. Sitting down, I shut off my phone and just stare at the cover.

Sun & Shade a novel by Calamity Jayne

Then I opened the cover and had to wipe
my
fucking eyes.

Dedicated to Shade: The devil with an angel’s smile

I have never been more nervous about a book.

Yes, I always hoped my fans enjoyed it but this story was personal because it was
us
. Shade has been in his office for over six hours. I peek in and without looking up, shoos me out.

I even located Razor who also told me to get lost. Calling Luna produced the same results, only she said, “I’m at a good part now fuck off. I love you!”

Now I’m pacing.

Grabbing the extra copy, I thumb through it checking for more typos but not seeing much. Mostly, I just enjoyed holding it in my hands. This novel, like the words that filled the pages was a piece of me. Raw, unfiltered and honest pieces of me.
Please don’t hate it
…

My gulp was audible when I realized he was standing in front of me. One moment I was staring at his feet and the next I watch as Shade falls to his knees in front of me. “How?” he asks. “How can you ever know how much I love you?”

“That’s easy,” I tell him. “You show me every time you look at me.”

“You wrote me as a hero.”

“Because you are,” I remind him. “You’re
my
hero.”

“The fans, your readers,” he clears his throat. “They’ll think I’m
good
?”

“My fans won’t think anything one way or the other,” I say gently. “I didn’t publish it, Shade.”

“Why not?” he asks clearly shocked.

“Because it’s our story and I didn’t want to share you with the world.”

“Not even after I vowed to spend my life worshipping you?”

“Nope,” I smile. “Not even then.”

“I want you to publish,” he demands. “For no other reason than your fans need to know how bloodthirsty and vicious I am.”

“You want your fifteen minutes of fame, don’t you?”

“I do,” he grins devilishly. “How is it a best seller if it isn’t published?”

“Shade, it’s the best story I have ever written. It’s my best seller because I got my happy ending, I got you. Now get up off your knees and worship me.”

Between Luna calling (and crying), Razor asking for titles to all her books (to buy for Jessica, he says) and Sun doing what authors do when publishing a book, I sat back taking it all in.

Hours of begging turned into demanding but finally she agreed to publish the book. Words cannot describe how proud I was of her. Hell, of myself.

Yes, Sunshine brought me to my knees but I was happy to be there.

While she uploaded her work, I put in a few calls. Sun needed future material and I was ensuring she got it. Closing her laptop, she spins and catches me watching her. “Come,” I order her. With a smile, she stands ready to make her way into my arms where she belongs. Two steps separate us before she trips over her own feet and crashes into me.

“I meant to do that,” she says brushing her hair out of her face.

Running my finger over her nipple, her shiver wakes the beast in me. “Does this hurt?” I ask concerned it hadn’t healed enough.

“No,” she says breathlessly.

Covering her right side with my hand I ask, “Does this?”

“No,” she says watching my every move.

Sealing my lips over the scabs on her neck, I ask again. “How about this, Sun? Does this hurt?”

“No,” she whimpers. “But this does.” Guiding my hands between her legs, she opens them further and begs me, “Make it better, Shade.”

She aches for me
…

“I’ll make it better,” I promise her. “But first, lie on your back for me.”

Once she’s comfortable, I undress her slowly wishing I had the patience to count every goose bump. However, I had enemies to kill first. Sun suffered from nightmares now and it was my duty, fuck… my
privilege,
to erase them. Easing her to her side, I trace her spine with my lips. “Shade,” she moans fisting the bedding.

“Patience,” I mumble using my tongue on the lower vertebrae.

“Is overrated,” she pants.

Settling myself behind her, I raise one leg and trace her inner thighs with my fingers. “Tell me about the nightmares.”

“No.”
Oh wife I can do this forever
…

“Tell me or I stop.”

“Ugh,” she growls. “You did this on purpose, you set me up!”

Slipping a finger inside, she arches her back while rubbing her ass on me. “Everything I do has a purpose,” I remind her. “You know that better than anyone, now start talking or I quit playing.”

After a deep exhale, she relaxes a bit and I continue playing with her. “My parents were addicts, not abusive, just…void. Most days they forgot about me and one day I came home to find them gone. I entered the system and was in several homes before he found me. You know the rest.”

“No I don’t because you only scratched the surface.” Sinking another finger in, she moans deep and growls at the same time. “Fine,” she says wanting to prolong the pleasure. “You know why he wanted me and the other girls now but he was beyond abusive. That bastard loved to hurt me but I took it for the girls because they were too young, they deserved to be protected.”

“And you didn’t?” A third finger enters and I knew she was close.

“Fuck,” she cries out. “Finish me, please.”

“No.”

“I’ll remember this,” she says scratching my arm. “He always said he was getting me ready, but until Armand, I never knew what that meant. He touched me a lot, threatening pain to the girls if I disobeyed. For some reason, despite his disgusting habit of sexually abusing me, he wanted my virginity kept intact.” When my fingers ceased movement, she grinds into me reminding me of our bargain, pleasure for honesty.

“Virgins fetch a higher price,” I mumble, sick with myself that I was ever a part of that life. Had she not fought for her life she would have ended up like the girls Marco used to steal and that fucked with my head.

“That makes sense,” she says on a moan. “Anyway, that’s not what my nightmares are always about. Some are of my parents, even the girls, but mostly they’re about you.”

“Me?” I ask moving up to her neck. “Why me?”

“Fear of losing you,” she whispers. “No one has ever loved me. I’m afraid of losing that because I want you more than anything. I dream that what happened to me disgusts you, that I’ll wake up and you won’t love me anymore.”

“Sun,” I groan hugging her tight. “You know how much I love you.”

Turning to face me, she has tears brimming and it fucking guts me. “He forced himself on me just like Armand did. Moving past that hasn’t been easy. Feeling helpless, having no control and being weak. You’re the only person who has ever wanted me and when I should feel cleansed, I just feel…dirty.”

Don’t lose it, not now
…