Light My Fire (8 page)

Oh my god. Be cool, Prudence.
I left the piano then walked through the door. I was grateful when Dean put his arm around my waist, steadying me with his hand. “You were wonderful.”

The first man approached me,
his hand extended. “You’re quite the songbird.” He shook my hand then wiped it on his slacks. I knew my palm was covered in sweat. “I’m bill. Dean was dead on about you.”

“Thank you…” My voice shook like I was about to cry.

“She’s shy,” Bill said.

“No,” Dean said immediately. “Just nervous. Normally, she can’t shut up.” He rubbed my bare back, his hand touching my skin.

The next man introduced himself. “You’re very talented. It’s a pleasure to see.”

“Thank you.” My voice had more confidence.

“It’s Anthony. I’m one of the board members for the company.”

“It’s a pleasure,” I said politely.

The last man took my hand and kissed it. “You are a vision, darling.” He was British. And that reminded me of home. “Call me Carl.”

“Thank you.”
God, was this over yet?

They looked at Dean. Bill took the lead. “Let’s have a conversation.”

Dean lowered his hand then pressed his mouth to my ear. “I’ll be right back. This is when we talk about the contract.”

I pulled him away. “Shouldn’t I be there?”

“No. They make the guidelines and you reject them or accept them.”

I nodded my head. “Okay.”

He eyed my concern. “Pru, this is a good thing. You’re in.”

I took a deep breath. “Okay.”

He grabbed my neck and gave me a kiss on the forehead. “I have your best interest at heart. Remember that.”

My eyes softened when I looked at him. “I’ll never forget.”

Chapter Fourteen

♬

Cash Matthews

When I returned to LA, I immediately started my hunt for Prudence. I hired a P.I. and didn’t limit the expenses to find her.

“Name?” he asked when he came to my house.

“Prudence Clearwater.”

He scribbled in his notebook. “What does she look like?”

I handed him a picture. It was the one I took of her sleeping.

Ian nodded. “This will work.”

“I want you to check every apartment complex—everything.”

Ian returned his notebook to his pocket. “I’ve been doing this for a long time. If she’s here, I’ll find her.”

“Thank you. Call me as soon as you know
anything.”

“Of course, sir.”

After he left, I sat on my couch and started to fidget. I was so anxious to be with Prudence again. The wait just made it more unbearable. Jeremy thought she was still in LA, and that knowledge had me more upset. She and I were in the same city and I still couldn’t find her. It was frustrating as hell.

Unsure what to
do with myself, I paced my house. Hours went by and I wasn’t productive at all. I had a lot of work for the studio but I put it off. My head wasn’t in the right place.

Later that night, Ian called me.

I answered before the first ring finished. “Did you find her?”

“No.” His voice sounded bored. “But she hasn’t left LA—at least by air.”

“Are you sure?”

I have a friend who works for
the airlines. He checked every manifest twice. She hasn’t been on a flight since she came here.

Well, that was something. It was unlikely she drove anywhere. I wasn’t sure if she even knew how to drive. And she certainly didn’t have a license. And if she took a bus, where would she go? “Thank you, Ian. At least we know she’s here.”

“And I’ll find her, sir.”

“Thank you.”

Ian hung up.

I stared at the window and watched the blackness deepen. My girl was out there somewhere and I had no idea where. And that scared the shit out of me.

♫

I went to work the next day. Everyone stared at me but no one questioned my whereabouts for the past few weeks. If they did, I’d fire them on the spot. But they were smart and kept their mouths shut.

Nothing seemed different in the studio. Ted did a good job keeping everything in line.

“How are you, Cash?” Ted came up to me and adjusted his baseball cap.
Why did he have to wear that thing all the time?

“I’m well. How are you?”

“Good. I hope you took care of your personal affairs.”

Not even close. “What’s new around here?”

“We’ve had excellent ratings. Nothing much has changed.”

“Well, that’s good.” I poured a cup of coffee then drank it. “Bring me up to speed.”

He looked at his clipboard. “The writers have started a new segment about Twitter. Our younger viewers seemed to really enjoy it.”

“Good.”

“We had Mick Jagger on the show a few days ago. That gave us a big boost.”

And I missed that? Damn.
“I’m jealous.”

“I got an autograph.” Ted winked at me.

“And what’s scheduled for the show today?”

Ted looked through his papers. “Pretty much the same thing.”

“Guest?”

“Sharon Stewart.”

I almost dropped my coffee. “What?”

“Sharon Stewart…” Ted look confused.

“Why the hell would you put her on the show?” Ted wasn’t around during my divorce. He came from another studio. And my divorce was so long ago, and I never spoke about it, that most people probably just forgot. Plus, she changed her name.

“She’s really hot right
now. She was in that Spielberg film, won an Oscar in March, and has a respectable charity.” He shrugged. “I thought it would be good for our ratings.”

Kill me now. Fucking kill me now.
“Fuck.”

“Sir…?”

“I don’t want her on the show.”

His eyes widened. “We start in twenty minutes. She’s the headliner. Without her, we wouldn’t have a guest. And we’ve been advertising it all week.”

I knew my hands were tied behind my back. If I really wanted to be stubborn I could keep her off the show, but it would be detrimental. People would be expecting her but she wouldn’t be there. And all the audience members may have come just to see her. I was screwed. “Fine,” I snapped.

“I’m sorry, sir. I…I didn’t know it would be a problem.”

Obviously not.
“It’s fine. If I weren’t away, it wouldn’t have happened.”

Ted stepped away. “The show must go on.”

When I looked across the studio, I saw the back of Sharon’s hair. I knew it was she just by looking at her. And the vicious hate that rose up inside me surprised me most of all. I thought I was over our divorce. Apparently not. That hatred would never go away.

Like she was reading my mind, she tur
ned to me.

She looked beautiful like she always did. Her hair was darker than it used to be, almost black. I could tell she dyed it, probably for a part in a film. She was extremely thin, your typical Hollywood star. I didn’t care for it. I immediately compared her to Prudence. Prudence was a real woman with real curves.

Sharon gave me a slight smile, trying to feel me out. Then she approached me.

Fucking bitch.

She stopped when she reached me. “Hello, Cash.”

I just stared at her.

My reaction must have met her expectations because she didn’t seem to be offended. She leaned in to kiss me on the cheek. I pulled away, not wanting that whore to touch me.

Her eyes softened when she looked at me. “I was hoping you’d be better by now.”

Better? I was over our marriage. “Just because I’m over our relationship, doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re a fucking whore.” My voice was low so no one else would hear me, but it contained the threat I tried to convey.

Sharon placed her hand on my arm. “I’m sorry I did this to you.”

I jerked away. “Don’t touch me.”

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Golden earrings shined under the stage lights. The black dress she wore was tight around her waist. It made her legs look dangerously long. “When I was invited to your show, I assumed it meant I had your forgiveness.”

“I’ve been out of the office.”

“Vacation?”

I didn’t bother giving a response.

She sighed. “Cash, I was hoping we could talk…”

“What are we doing now?”

Sharon stilled at the anger in my voice. “Cash, please. Let’s get lunch after the show.”

“I have no interest in talking to you. This is hard enough as it is.”

“Please.” Her eyes brightened with her plea. “I promise you won’t regret it.”

“What is there to talk about?” I snapped.

“You’ll see.”

Ted approached us. “The audience is filing in. Let’s take our marks.”

Sharon ig
nored him and kept looking at my face. “Cash, please?”

Why was I even considering this? I guess I was curious to know what she wanted to say. The sick and twisted part of me hoped she wanted me back. Then I could
reject her and make her feel like shit. That’s what I wanted. To make her feel as bad as I did.

I had anger issues…

“Okay.”

Her eyebrows raised in surprise. “Okay. I’ll see you after the show.”

“I don’t look forward to it.”

♫

Sharon was a huge hit. She made the audience laugh at every one of her jokes, and she was beautiful as she did it. I could tell Jay Leno was fond of her. The audience cheered and whistled at everything she said. She mesmerized her audience, made them obsessed with her. I would know. That’s how I used to be.

After the show was over and the audience members left, Sharon approached me.

“Lunch?”

I couldn’t believe I was actually going through with this. “Yeah.”

She pulled her hair over one shoulder, just like Prudence did. I didn’t like it. Not at all. “Don’t do that.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Okay…”

I was already on edge and this girl was making it worse.

We entered the parking lot then got into my Range Rover. Having Sharon sit in the same place Prudence used to sit made me uncomfortable. I felt like I was betraying Prudence in some way.

“Where to?” I asked.

“Green Apple Café?”

“Chinese food?”

“You love Chinese food, right?” She turned to me and a strand of hair fell forward.

I didn’t care what we ate. I just wanted to get this over with. “Sure.”

When we entered the restaurant, I didn’t hold the door open for her. Fuck that. If she wanted me to be a gentleman, she’d be a lady. We took our seats at the table. And I didn’t pull out her chair for her, something I did for every woman. Sharon was getting a special treatment, but not a good one.

The waiter immediately converged on us and took our order. I looked at the first thing on the menu and ordered it. Of course, Sharon ordered a salad with dressing on the side.
Why the fuck did we go to Chinese if she wasn’t going to eat anything?

“What?” I didn’t bother hiding my irritation. I never wanted to sit across from this woman again. When I thought about our marriage, all it did was cause me pain. But when I had to actually look at her, I only felt anger. I never hated anymore more in my life.

She didn’t back down from my hostile attitude. “I thought we should talk.”

Sharon was going to stretch this out. “Clearly.”

“I wanted to apologize…for everything.”

She never did. After we had filed for divorce, she took my money and didn’t look at me. She didn’t give a shit. And because of that reason, I couldn’t believe a word she said. Why wait years to make an apology? She clearly didn’t mean it. “Bullshit.”

Sharon sighed. “I mean it. I feel horrible.”

I’m sure…”Is that all? Because I’d rather be anywhere else right now.”

“No.” She opened her wallet then handed me a check.

I glanced at it but didn’t read the amount. “What’s this?”

“All the money I took from you in the divorce…”

I still didn’t look at it. “And this makes up for everything?”

“Cash, I’m trying. At the time, I needed that money. Since then, I’ve made a life for myself. And I want to pay you back.”

“You can’t pay someone back if you steal from them.”

She didn’t have a response to that. Why would she? “Cash, just take it.”

I grabbed it and read the amount. It was the exact amount she took from me, to the cent. “What’s the catch?” I returned it to the table. “Why are you doing this? I don’t need the money.”

“But it’s yours. You deserve it.”

What was I missing?

“Cash, I’m not trying to trick you. I know this doesn’t make up for what I did, but it’s a start.”

“A start to what?” I snapped. “I’m never going to stop hating you.”

Her eyes sagged in sadness. “Cash, this isn’t a good color on you.”

Are you fucking kidding me?
“You married me just to use me. You fucked three other guys when you were with me. Everything was based on lies. How can you say that to me?” I felt my face turn red. I was pissed.

The waitress brought the dishes then left immediately, picking up on the tension.

“I know what I did was wrong…I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit.”

She placed her hand on mine. “I mean it.”

I jerked away. “Don’t touch me again.”

“Cash, I don’t expect your forgiveness to come easily. I’m willing to be patient.”

“Why do you care?” My voice increased by a few notches. Everyone in the restaurant turned and looked at me, seeing the redness in
my face. I didn’t care. My hate couldn’t be robbed from me. And if they knew what this woman did, they wouldn’t judge me for a second.

“Because I do,” she whispered.

“Look. I don’t need your pity. I’m doing just fine without you, I’ve been doing fine without you, and I will always be fine without you. If you asked me this four years ago, things would have been different. But I don’t want your sympathy. The best thing you could for me is leave me the fuck alone.”

Sharon made that stupid face she always did when I raised my voice. Her eyes lost their light and she couldn’t hold my gaze. It took me back to our marriage. I questioned her about the others and she always lied to me. I wasn’t falling for it anymore. “I’ve been thinking about how I acted. At the time…I was wrong.”

“You still are.”

“And now I realize just how wrong I am. I want to prove how sorry I am.”