Light My Fire (5 page)

He studied my face. “And why is that?”

“Because if I’m in California when she does call, I can go get here\, make sure she’s safe, take care of her, and put her on a plane…if she wants to.”

Jeremy nodded. “That is very tempting.”

“Just think about it.”

“Okay.”

“And Jeremy?”

“Huh?” Jeremy asked.

“What the hell is your last name?”

He smirked. “Clearwater.”

Chapter Seven

♬

Prudence Clearwater

Dean placed the chicken, rice, and vegetables on the table. I stared at it
in surprise. “You cooked all this?”

“Why is that surprising?” He cut into his meat and took a bite.

“I’ve never met a guy who could cook—besides my brother.”

Dean shrugged. “I prefer to eat at home. It’s not greasy and loaded with preservatives.”

I shoveled the vegetables and rice onto my plate, ignoring the chicken.

“Vegetarian?” he asked.

“Yes.”

He nodded. “That’s cool. I used to be one but I got really unhealthy. My nails were thin, my hair was falling out, I was weak…it was bad.”

“It’s difficult to stay healthy when you don’t eat a lot of protein.”

“I hope it isn’t a problem for you.” He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Spill it. I want to know everything.”

I tried to think of something to say. “My brother got a cheap guitar for his third birthday. He played it a few times then got bored with it. I didn’t like my dolls so I took it. And I never put it down.”

He stared at my face, hanging on to my every word. “And how did you
learn all the other instruments?”

“My mom gave me
lunch money every week. Instead of eating, I saved it for my keyboard. The drum set was more expensive so I had to save my money longer to get that. Then I got my bass. So I had everything at a young age. Girls were always buying clothes or makeup. But music was my weakness.

“So cool.” He shoveled the rice into his mouth then ate his veggies. “How did you learn?”

“I bought self-help books. When the internet became available, I looked up everything. And from listening too. I’d listened to a Jimi Hendrix cd over and over and learn the songs by ear. After I learned the guitar, I moved to the other instruments. I was bit obsessed, really.”

“That’s so hot.” He kept eating like what he said wasn’t inappropriate.

“Sorry?”

“It’s just so cool that you love real music, like the classic stuff.”

“Well, they influenced all of our modern music.”

He nodded. “They did. So cool.” Dean stared at me with new eyes. “Prudence, you’re badass. And worthy of being named after a Beatles song.”

My cheeks reddened. I’m surprised he made that correlation.

“What else are you willing to tell me?” He finished his plate then pushed it away.

“Umm…I can’t think of anything.”

“Are most of your songs about love?”

He was referring to my heartbreaking songs over Cash. “No. I write about whatever is going on in my life. Right now, I’d be writing about new beginnings. Not heartbreak.”

Dean nodded. “That’s a true musician. But I think the girls will like the romance songs.”

I hoped someone would like my music. Period.

“So, how long have you been broken up from your last boyfriend?”

“A week or so.”
Cash…Ugh.

“I’m sorry.” He seemed genuine.

“Thank you.”

“You don’t really have to tell me about losing your virginity, you know?” He gave me a smile.

I chuckled. “I will if you will.”

“Hmm…interesting.” He leaned back in his seat. “I’m pretty open about my life in general. But I know sharing secrets brings people closer together. And I already feel close to you. But that might be because I think you’re fucking amazing.”

I felt my cheeks blush again. Only Cash could compliment me without getting me to react.

“I was seventeen.”
Wow. That was young.
“She was a girl from school. She had a thing for me, and I thought she was pretty. We did the deed and that was the end of it.”

“She didn’t mean anything to you?”

“No, unfortunately. I was a jerk and just wanted to get it over with. Now that I’ve had so much experience, sex is really enjoyable, especially with the partners I really care about.”

“Oh.”

“Your turn.”

“I was twenty-one.”

“Wow.” His eyes were wide. “You waited a long time.”

“I was waiting for the right person…which was a very stupid decision.”

“What did dumbass #1 do?”

I smiled at the nickname. “He cheated on with twelve other women.” I looked at my hands because I couldn’t meet his gaze.

“Oh. Now I see why you hated the label everyone gave you.”

“It was so embarrassing…”

Dean leaned forward. “Hey. You were a trustworthy person. And that’s a good thing.”

“Not at the time.” I felt my bitterness come out.

“At least you know it won’t happen again. You’re been burned once. It won’t happen twice.”

I laughed. “That couldn’t be more wrong. The next man I fell in love with broke my heart even worse.”

“But he didn’t betray you, right? He stuck to his word and gave what you asked?”

He did. Cash made it clear what our relationship was. I even made it clear. I couldn’t hold it against him. But that didn’t make it any easier—at all. “You’re right.”

“So don’t beat yourself up too bad. Although, I don’t see how a guy could be with you and not fall in love with you.”

I hope
d that was a purely platonic statement.

He read my mind. “I don’t sleep with clients. It’s too messy.”

That gave me some relief.

“But I admit you’re a gorgeous woman. And I am attracted to you—for your looks and your personality.”

Should I say thank you?
I wasn’t sure. “I’m in love with my ex. And I think I’ll always be in love with him.” I wasn’t expecting that to fly out of my mouth. But it did.

He laughed. “I’m not hitting on you. But I understand why you think that. Men must throw themselves at you on a daily basis.”

It wasn’t that. I just hadn’t spent time alone with a guy except for Cash. And I felt guilty about it.

“And I’ll be always be in love with my wife.”

His wife? Wait. I thought he said he’d never marry. “Your wife?”

Despair came into his eyes. “She passed away shortly after we were married.”

Oh my god. That was horrible. I chocked up just thinking about it. “I’m so sorry…”

“Thank you.” He stared at the table. “Which is why I’ll be
a terminal bachelor. I found the love of my life and had the best time. But now she’s gone. And I’ll never feel that way again.”

I felt tears bubble under my eyes. It was just so heartbreaking. Dean was too young to lose his spouse. “How did it happen?”

“A car accident.” He drank from his water then returned it to the table. “It was a horrific accident. A man driving a semi had a stroke and crossed the overpass onto her side of the highway. She died instantly.”

I covered my face as I processed what he said. I couldn’t i
magine how Dean felt. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Prudence. It was eight years ago.”

“You were only twenty-two?” That made it worse.

“Our time together was very short.”

I couldn’t control myself. A tear fell down my face.

Dean stared at me, surprise in his eyes. He left his chair and came to my side of the table. He wrapped his arms around me and pressed my head into his shoulder. “You’re a very selfless person.”

I sniffed. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

He rubbed my back. “I know you are.”

I pulled away and wiped my tears. “I’m sorry. I’m more upset than you are.”

“You should have seen me the three years after she passed aw
ay.” His voice came out somber. “But now you have someone who knows what it’s like to lose the person you love.”

“But Cash didn’t die…”

“Will you see him or ever talk to him again?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “No…”

“Then it isn’t much different.” He pressed his forehead against mine. I didn’t mind the intimacy. We were both grieving. And it was appropriate.

“I’ve never had anyone to talk to.”

“You can talk to me.”

“I know,” he said gently. “And you can talk to me.”

“You’re the only friend I have,” I said with another tear. “I left everyone behind. I don’t know a single person in this city. And I’m so scared.”

His eyes softened when he looked at me. “Don’t be scared. I’ll look after you. I need a friend too.”

I sniffed. “I’m so glad I met you.”

“Well, I’m going to make you famous.”

“I don’t care about that,” I said quickly. “It’s nice having someone understand me.”

“I understand you. And you understand me.”

Chapter Eight

♬

Cash Matthews

Prudence didn’t call.

Jeremy let Denver and I stay for a few days, but the phone never rang. And it was fucking unbearable. Denver had a wife and a kid to get back to, so he took a plane home. I stayed behind. But I wasn’t sure what to do. I was afraid she would call after I left and I wouldn’t get my chance to talk to her. And what if Jeremy refused to give me her number? But if I left and she did call, I might be able to get to her if she was in LA. If she was in another country…I was fucked.

Ugh. I didn’t know what to do.

The next morning, Jeremy’s lady friend came downstairs.  I was sitting at the kitchen table with my laptop, working from overseas. I was lucky I was the executive producer because I got away with pretty much everything.

She poured herself a cup of coffee but didn’t look at me. When I got a glimpse of her face, I realized it wasn’t the girl from the other night, or the night before…Jeremy had a different woman every time.

Damn. He was a badass.

Jeremy came downstairs a few minutes later, wearing jeans and a buttoned
shirt. He normally wore a suit when he went to work. He must be off today.

“How’d you s
leep?” he asked her.

“Good.” She stirred her coffee while she smiled at him.

She slept real well, apparently.

“Can I see you tomorrow?” she asked.

Jeremy looked her in the eye but lowered his voice. But I could still hear him. “I don’t do back-to-backs. I already made that clear.”

Wow. Jeremy laid down the law.

“I thought you’d make an exception for me.”

“I never make an exception.” He drank his coffee then opened the refrigerator. After he grabbed a carton of eggs. He made an omelet on the stove. The girl went upstairs then returned a moment later, fully dressed.

The walk of shame.

Jeremy gave her a big kiss before she left.

Then he placed the dishes on the table like nothing was amiss. He handed me my omelet.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He ate his omelet quietly, reading the paper.

“Does Prudence know about your…lifestyle?” I had a strong feeling she didn’t.

Jeremy put down the paper. “No. And it better stay that way.” The threat was in his voice.

“Your secret is safe with me.” I was a guy. I understood. I wouldn’t want my sister to know how insatiable I was.

“Prudence looks up to me. I don’t want her to think less of me.”

“I really don’t think s
he would.”

“I’m not willing to risk it.” He turned the page of his newspaper.

“Thanks for letting me stay here.” I said it every day, but I wanted him to know how grateful I was. I could afford my own hotel, but I wanted to be around just in case Prudence called. I realized I was infringing on his space.

“You’re welcome.”

Besides, I liked getting to know her brother. He and I had a lot in common.

“Have you decided when you’re going to leave?” he asked.

“No…” The argument came back into my mind. “I wanted to be here when she called.”

He sighed. “I’m getting worried. Maybe I should call the police.”

“And tell them what?”

Jeremy knew we were stuck. “I don’t know…”

“I’m sure she’s alright.” I tried to convince myself it was true.

“You’re probably right. But I hate not knowing. That’s the worst part.”

“Yeah…”

Jeremy finished his coffee then pushed it aside. “If my sister does feel the same way about you, what will you do?”

“I’ll marry her.”

He eyed me. “You lied to me once. Now it’s hard for me to believe anything you say.”

I deserved that.

“Everyone is given my trust until they give me a reason to take it away. And it’s difficult to earn it back.”

“I’ll be as patient as I need to be. But I only lied because she asked me to. I never would have pretended to be her boyfriend for the hell of it. But, I’m glad I did. Your relationship with her made me fall in love with her even more.”

“Even so, you lied to my
face.” Jeremy was a hardass.

“I know. But I’ll earn it back.”

“Even if she did want to be with you, I’m not sure how I feel about that. You used her all summer.”

Now I was getting angry. “You’re one to talk.”

His eyes widened.

“Prudence and I were consenting adults and agreed on the parameters of the relationship. She’s a big girl. She knew what she was doing. And of course I wouldn’t say no. I’m not going to lie about that. Prudence is a grown woman with needs…she’s just like you.”

Jeremy drummed his fingers on the table and studied my face. He took a moment to organize his thoughts. “You have a point. I’ll always see her as my little sister. It’s hard for me to…imagine her in that type of relationship.”

“I get it. I’m the same way with my younger sister. But you have to accept it.”

Jeremy sighed. “Now I don’t even know where she is…”

“We’ll figure it out,” I reassured him.

“I have to.” He shoved the omelet into his mouth then stared at the painting behind me.

“Jeremy, I love your sister. And if she loves me like I think she does, I’d love your permission to marry her.”

“Are you asking me now?”

I nodded. “I’m not sure when I’ll see you in person again. And your support would mean a lot to me. She loves you, and I really want us to get along. I already have one brother, but I wouldn’t mind having another.”

Jeremy weighed the decision in his mind. I had no idea what he was going to say. It was a tricky situation. It could go either way. “I can tell you love her.”

That wasn’t what I was expecting.

“When I met you, you said it was an act, right?”

I nodded.

“But was it really?”

I replayed those days in my mind. I was obsessed with her, needed her beside me at all times, and I couldn’t stand the idea of her getting home on her own. The love I felt was written all over my face. I should have realized it then.
“No, it wasn’t.”

“I thought not.”

Did that mean what I thought it meant?

“I know you’ll take care of her. Only a man desperately in love would fly all the way out here just to talk to her.”

That was a relief. “And I’m desperately in love with her.”

“Then you have my permission.”

I smiled. “Thank you, Jeremy.”

“Call me Jer.”

“I will.”