Light My Fire (7 page)

I shrugged. “Nothing comes to mind.”

“Want to sit on the beach?”

“But it’s dark. You can’t see anything.”

“But you can hear everything.” He grabbed a jacket then walked into his backyard. The patio furniture was unus
ed and the pool was forgotten. I followed him until we reached the sand in front of the waves. I thought the sweater was for him but it was for me.

“Here,” Dean said. “You’ll get cold.”

“Thanks.” I put it on and snuggled next to him.

“My wife and I used to do this all the time.”

“It’s lovely.”

He stared straight ahead then moved his fingers through the sand. When he leaned forward, I saw a necklace pop out.
It was a gold chain and a plain ring was around it.

“Is that your wedding band?”

He grabbed it. “Yeah. I finally took it off a few years ago. But it feels weird not wearing it in some way.”

“You’re so sweet, Dean.”

“No. I just loved my wife.” He dropped it then rested his hands in his lap.

“I hope I find that someday. A man who would love me even after I’m gone.” That definitely wasn’t Cash. He wanted me to come in his life then leave just as quickly. Another woman would replace me like I was never there.

“You will. I have no doubt.”

I chuckled. “I just can’t see that ever happening.”

“Prudence, you’re a catch. I’m not just saying that.” The wind moved through his hair and pulled it from his eyes. “If I’d never been married, I’d be pestering you for a date right now.”

I smiled. “But you don’t see
me like that, right?”

He shrugged. “The more I’ve gotten to know you, the more I realize I have unusual feelings for you.”

What did that mean?

“You’re like…family to me. Does that make any sense?”

Not really.
“No.”

“You’re like a sister, I guess.”

That made my heart warm in happiness. I was always looking for ways to increase my family, widen the circle of my closest confidants. I never expected to find someone I trusted, especially from a guy I met in a bar. But Dean was special to me. I relied on him for everything. My brother may not be around, but I had another one beside me. “I love you.”

He smiled. “I love you too.” Then he shoved me. “Like a sister.”

I laughed then shoved him back. “That means I get to pick on you.”

“Not if I pick on you first.” He placed his arm around my shoulder and huddled close to me. “I have a confession to make.”

“What?”

“I didn’t invite you to live with me for a purely selfless reason…”

“Okay…”

“I’m lonely as hell, depressed like I’ve never been, and I really wanted you to move in with me…to make me feel better.” He looked at my face. “Do you hate me?”

My eyes softened. “No…it’s okay to admit when you need help.”

“You’re one to talk,” he said sarcastically.

“This is perfect,” I said. “I need you and you need me.”

“But we need each other for very different reasons. You need me for my roach-free house. And I need you to help me get through another day.”

I chuckled. “And it looks like we’ve found exactly what we need.”

Chapter Twelve

♬

Cash Matthews

Where the fuck was she?

If Prudence was
n’t here, I hoped she was back in LA. I had enough resources to comb through every apartment complex. If she was in the city, I’d find her.

I stayed with Jeremy one more
night because I couldn’t get a flight out. The longer I spent time with him, the more I liked him. He reminded me of Prudence in a lot of ways. He was compassionate and loyal. Not a very common trait in a businessman. I was grateful Prudence had him in her life. When I listened to her talk about her parents, I started to hate them. What kind of man abandoned his kids for twenty years? She didn’t need him. Now she had me.

Jeremy slept upstairs and I stayed downstairs. In fact, I never went to the second floor. I was bored in the house so I decided to explore. He had an office next to his bedroom, and there
was another bedroom on the landing. When I peeked inside, I saw a bag on the floor. Women’s delicates were inside of it.

Did he make his lady friends sleep here?

“That’s Pru’s room.”

I turned around, not realizing he was behind me. “Sorry. I was bored.”

“It’s fine. Just stay out of my room.”

That was a gentleman’s understanding. He didn’t need to remind me. “Of course.” I looked back at the bag of clothes. “Did she forget that?”

“No. She leaves a set of clothes here so she doesn’t have to carry everything back and forth.”

“She stays here often?”

He shrugged. “Like one night a week. We used to hang out on Friday nights and she would sleep here. I told her I’d always have a bedroom for her to retreat to.”

Damn. They were really close. It was almost odd…

“I know we’re weird.” He read my mind. “But after suffering through what we have, it’s natural to get close. Prudence has always clung to me. And I don’t mind it. But now that she has you, I don’t think she’ll need this room anymore.”

That was the plan. And I hoped it worked out. I stared at the room, trying to glean her essence from it. The bedding matched her perfectly, summer flowers in a field. A yellow sweater hung over one of the chairs. It even smelled like her.

Jeremy stared at me. “Did you want a tour…?

“Sorry.” I turned away and walked back downstairs.

♫

We went out for drinks that night. It was nice getting out of the house. Jeremy was a good host, but I was desperate for a strong drink.

We sat at the bar and ordered our liquor. I had a vodka straight and he had a gin and tonic. Our drinks were compatible. I could tell we’d be good friends in the years to come—if Prudence returned my love.

I caught Jeremy staring across the room. When I followed his gaze, I saw two women chatting quietly. They were both brunettes with big tits and long hair. I’d fuck
them if I weren’t madly in love with Prudence. My cock was still limp. Prudence was the only one who excited me anymore.

Jeremy got the bartender
’s attention and ordered two drinks for the girls.

I smiled at him. “Which one do you want?”

“Both.” He said it with a straight face.

“Do you need me to distract one for you?”

“Nope. I want them both.”

Man, this guy was
a badass. “I’d love to see that.”

“You’ve never had a threesome?”

“I can’t say I have.”

Jeremy had a slight grin to his lips. “You’re missing out.”

“Unless there’s two Prudence’s, I don’t think I am.” Talking about having sex with his sister was a little awkward. But I didn’t see the point in lying about it.

Jeremy continued to stare at the girls. “What’s your number?”

That was a personal question. Were we having a pissing contest right now? “A lot.”

“All my boys are
getting married and having kids. I wish I had a guy to pick up girls with.”

“I would have been your man…four months ago.”

Jeremy studied me. “You’re ready to be monogamous?”

Was he testing me? “I don’t want anyone else but Prudence. That’s all I know.”

He nodded. “I’m glad my sister found a good man.”

“I’m not,” I said immediately. “But she changed me.”

Jeremy chuckled. “My sister has an annoying habit of doing that.”

“And she has no idea
about your personal life?”

He shook his head. “She’s asked me why I’m single a few times. I always te
ll her I’m too busy working to have a relationship.”

“You lie to her?”

“It’s my only untruth. And I deserve at least one.”

“May I ask why you are
the way you are?” He asked me a personal question. I thought it was appropriate for me to do the same.

“I’d rather not say.”

Someone had skeletons in his closest.

The bartender brought the drinks to the girls. They both glanced at the bar and looked at Jeremy.

“That’s my cue.” He tossed his money on the counter then made his move.

I sat back and watched the show.

Jeremy approached them and made them laugh a few times. Then he gently touched both of them, his hand innocently touching a shoulder. The women were receptive to his moves. And I was impressed. Then he sat in the booth and continued to make them laugh. The girl across from him kept squeezing her thighs together.

Someone wanted to get laid.

A few minutes later, Jeremy left the bar, both his arms around their shoulders. He winked at me before he walked out.

I chuckled then raised my glass to him. When he was out of the bar, I laughed loudly. Prudence’s brother had style.

“Hi.”

I turned in my seat and saw a pretty brunette.

“You look lonely.”

I was. I gazed at her and saw the slant of her cheeks. She had a petite waistline and noticeable breasts. But I didn’t feel anything at all. If I wasn’t sure of my love for Prudence, I was sure of it now. I could ta
ke this girl back to her place, fuck her, and Jeremy would never know. But that’s the last thing I wanted.

“Excuse me.” I left my money on the table and walked out without saying a word. I realized I was being rude, but I
didn’t care. I was pretty much married.

I returned to Jeremy’s apartment and found the door unlocked. When I walked into the parlor, it was silent. Then I heard a loud giggle from upstairs. I couldn’t help but smile. Jeremy was the man.

I stayed downstairs and gave him as much privacy as I could. But then I started to think about Prudence. Her bag of clothes was upstairs…including her panties. I wondered how soft they were, if they smelled like her…and then my cock came to life.

Fuck
.

I went upstairs then walked into her bedroom. After I locked the door, I opened the bag and dug inside. I’d never felt this dirty before. Never in my life had I gone to such perverted means.

I found a thong then felt it in my fingers. They were black and lacy. I stared at it while I felt it in my fingertips. They were smooth and fresh. My cock pulsed in my jeans.

I was disgusting.

I walked into her bathroom and found the same shampoo she used at my house. I grabbed it then searched her cabinets. When I found a bottle of Vaseline, I knew I hit the jackpot.

I lay on her bed then removed my bottoms. When my cock sprung out, I squirted the Vaseline onto the inside of her panties. Then I wrapped i
t around my cock, my fingers tight. Her bottle of shampoo was open and I could smell the familiar scent. My cock twitched.

Then I began to move.

I pictured Prudence on top of me, her legs spread as she rode my cock. She moved up and down, the look of desire on her face. Her tits shook with every move she made.

“Prudence…” I moved my hand faster.

Her hands touched my stomach, using it for balance. Her hair fell over one shoulder, her braid evident. I wanted to grab it as she moved up and down. The smell of the shampoo invaded my senses, and that pushed me over the edge.

“Prudence…” My hand jerked quickly as I felt the explosion. I squirted into her underwear, wish
ing it was really her. The fantasy was sick and perverted but I couldn’t help it. I wanted to be with Prudence, the woman I loved.

When I was finished, I laid in the darkness. My breathing was deep and heavy. Then the depression hung on my shoulders. I was alone. I had no idea where Prudence was, she had no idea I loved her, and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see her again. And that was enough to make my eyes burn with tears.

Chapter Thirteen

♬

Prudence Clearwater

As the weeks wore on, I enjoyed spending time with Dean. He was a godsend. I felt a million times better living with him than I would anywhere else. And he made me feel safe and respected. It was a rare feeling.

“We have a few things to do to get the ball rolling.”

“Like what?” I asked. I ate my pancakes then poured more syrup on top.

“Well, you need to have a try-out.”

“What?” I looked at him quizzica
lly. “A try out for who?”

“The record company.”

“But you’re the owner…”

Dean rolled his eyes. “It’s politics.”

I didn’t like the sound of that.

“We need to have you sing for some of the board members. After that, we need to head to New York and meet the people in the office there. Believe me, you won’t regret it later. You need to make nice with everyone. It makes life easier to live.”

“Dean, I’m horrible at politics.”

“Which is why you have me.” He gave me a reassuring smile. “I’ll take care of you, Pru. No one will take advantage of you, not under my nose.”

I believed him.

“Which brings me to my next question.”

I hoped it was a good question.

“Traditionally, you have a separate agent. I work directly with them and they organize all your events, your concerts, publicity,
all the boring stuff. I was hoping I could be your agent and manager, as well as your record producer.”

Wow. That was a lot of responsibility. “It sounds like a lot of work.”

“I know. I wouldn’t offer that to just anybody.”

I hoped his request was genuine. What if he was taking advantage of me?

He eyed me. “You still don’t trust me.” He looked hurt.

“No, it’s nothing like that.”

“Then explain.” The joy in his voice was gone.

“I—I hear my brother’s voice in my head.”

Dean rubbed his chin, looking confused. “I’m not following.”

“Sorry. My brother is a business investor.
And he’s wary of money. Any time money is involved, it changes people. Unless someone really loves you, they can’t be trusted.”

“I can understand your hesitance.” He pushed his plate away. “I’m one of the wealthiest men in the country. This house is just one of the few I own. I summer in New York, and I have houses along the coast, as well as in the Mediterranean, the Caribbean, and Italy and France. I’m not desperate for money.”

My brother’s voice returned. “He said being rich makes you greedy. Why settle for less money when you can have more?”

He eyed me. “Your brother is extremely wise—and right. But I can assure you, that’s not my intention. And you know what I think you should do? So you’ll st
op questioning me at every turn?” His voice was somewhat cold.

“What?”

“Involve your brother. Have him read all the contracts, meet me, and get involved in your career. He can advise you on your decisions.”

That wasn’t a bad idea…if I hadn’t called him practically sobbing on the phone. And he had his own life in London. I couldn’t just pull him from that. “Uh…”

“What?”

“My brother doesn’t live here.”

“London?”

“Yeah.”

He nodded. “Let me know what you want to do.”

I sighed. I wished I
never met Cash. This would be so much easier. I wouldn’t be so damn depressed. He would be a perfect person to ask. He worked in this line of work on a daily basis and I knew I could trust him. He’d understand it was purely business. I don’t know. I’ll think about it.

“Pru, what are you going to do?”

That brought me back to reality. “I’ll move forward without him.”

“Are you sure?”

I nodded. “I’ll be fine.”

“You’re a very intelligent woman. If anyone is trying to take advantage of you, you’ll know. And hopefully you’ll realize I’m looking out for your well-being, not my wallet.” His voice came out bitter.

“Dean, it’s nothing personal…”

He put his plate in the sink and didn’t look at me. “Practice tonight. You’ll perform a few songs tomorrow. Make sure you’re good on the piano and the guitar. And I have an outfit for you. Please wear it.” He walked passed me, still not looking at me. “I’ll be in my office. Don’t bother me.”

I heard the door slam on the other side of the house.

Shit.

♫

Hours passed and Dean never appeared. I know he told me not to bother him, but I couldn’t help it. The guilt weighed inside me, making me
feel worse and worse.

During my reflection, I started to realize what my unsuccessful relationships had done to me. Now I was untrusting in all aspects. Any time it seemed like someone had a selfless motive, I questioned it. I always wondered if I was being lied to. And this bitterness didn’t look good on me. Dean had been nothing but supportive since the moment he met. There were no red flags. I was the one making them. And I realized I was wrong.

I approached his door then knocked quietly. A part of me hoped he didn’t hear me.

“It’s open.”

I took a deep breath and stepped inside. The walls were painted black and his furniture was white, the exact opposite as the rest of the house. When I looked at the bookshelf to the right, I saw a picture frame of Dean, but he wasn’t alone. He stood in his tux with a woman beside him, wearing a wedding dress. And she was gorgeous. It was obviously his wedding day. The happiness from both of them was undeniable. And it made me sad.

Dean watched me. “Can I help you with something?”

I was pulled away from my observation. “Sorry…”

He leaned back in his chair and waited for me to speak.

“Your wife was beautiful.”

“I know.” He was clearly not in the mood to talk.

“I wanted to apologize for earlier…you’ve been nothing but nice to me. And…I’m sorry for my behavior.”

“Well, I appreciate that,
but it doesn’t mean anything.”

Ouch. “I’ve had a tough road. My father left me when I was born, and I’ve never had a man in my life
who loved me. They always wanted something from me. You’re the first guy who hasn’t fit into that category—besides my brother. I let the past get to me. And I’m sorry for that. Now I see the error of my ways. I do trust you, Dean. And I would love it if you’d be my agent and manager.”

He moved his chair from side to side slightly. And h
is fingers rested on his chin. I couldn’t read his façade at all. He could still be pissed. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

He smiled. And I knew everything would be okay. “I look forward to working with you.” He extended his hand to shake mine.

I took it. “Thanks for being patient with me.”

“When we met, I knew you were a little messed up. I’ve never been rejected like that in a bar.” His eyes had a twinkle to them.

“Sorry…”

“Forget about it. I think we’ll be good from now on.”

I sat on his desk then look around the room. “Why am I not allowed to come in here?”

He shrugged. “It’s my space, you know?”

“Why isn’t your bedroom?”

“I don’t like being in my bedroom—alone.”

My eyes softened. I suspected why.

“She’s still there. I haven’t changed the bedding, the sheets, her clothes are still in the closet. It comforts me but makes me depressed at the same time.”

I could understand that.

“But here, it’s not so painful.”

I wondered where he took his dates.

He read my mind. “I always take my lady friends in the spare bedroom. I couldn’t take them in my bedroom…too disrespectful.”

“I understand.”

“It’s nice having someone to talk to.” He rubbed his chin. “I can never talk to my boys like this. They think I’ve moved on and I’m fine. But in truth, I’ll never be fine. And my mom wants me to remarry. But I think she just wants grandchildren.”

“You have to do what’s best for yourself—not anyone else.”

He looked at me with new eyes. “So you don’t think I’m pathetic for not moving on, even eight years later?”

“Not at all.”

He sighed. “Well, that’s a relief.”

“You don’t have to be fake around me. And if your mom bothers you again, tell her to go to hell.”

Dean laughed. “That’s a bit disrespectful.”

“Life is too short to live for other people.”

His eyes glanced at the picture of his dead wife. “That it is.”

♫

I was so nervous. I felt sick and nauseous. At any moment, I was going to vomit my breakfast. Dean noticed my unease.

“You’ll be fine. Pretend they aren’t even there.”

Ha. Easier said than done.

Dean got me a black silk romper. He told me to pull my hair up so my back could be seen, and he gave me a bunch of golden jewelry
to accentuate it. It wasn’t something I’d normally wear, but at least I wasn’t dressed like a whore.

“How do you know so much about fashion?” I asked.

“Winnie was a fashion designer. I learned a lot from her.”

“Winnie?”

“My wife.”

“Oh.”

The tense moment passed.

“We should get going.”

I took another deep breath. “Yeah…”

He grabbed my hand. “You’ll be fine. Just look at me the entire time.”

That made me feel better.

“You’ll
know exactly what I’m thinking—you’re an amazing musician.”

“Okay.”

“Let’s go.”

We got into his Lamborghini and drove to the circular building. It rose high into the air. In bold letters at the top,
Capitol Records
were written. It was a short drive just over the freeway. I kept touching my neck, feeling self-conscious.

“You look gorgeous,” he said. “That outfit outlines your curves but keeps it classy. Your hair is pulled back so they can see every flawless feature.”

My cheeks reddened.

“Just be confident,” he said gently. He held my hand for the rest of the drive.

After we walked into the building, everyone immediately knew who Dean was.

Hello, Mr. Goodwin,” the secretary said.

“Hello, Janice.” He walked into the elevator then rose to the top floor. There were multiple recording studios inside. My heart raced in my chest.

He led me inside one o
f them. A piano and a guitar were inside. “They’re just down the hallway. I’m going to talk to them for a moment then they’ll stand on the other side of the glass.”

“You’re coming back, aren’t you?”

He gave me an assuring smile. “You’ll see me through the glass.”

“Promise?”
God, I was weak.

“I promise.” He gave my hand a firm squeeze. “You’ll do great. I have no doubt.”

“Okay…”

“I’ll be right back.” He left the room.

I grabbed the guitar and made sure it was tuned. The piano was also ready to go. Now I just had to wait.

When I heard the door open, I didn’t react. I kept my face stoic and my breathing even. I l
ooked through the window and saw three older men walk in. They looked typical. They had gray hair, expensive suits, and Rolex watches. And they were extremely intimidating.

Dean leaned into the microphone and pressed a button. “Pru, we’re ready whenever you are.”

I nodded.

Dean crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me.
That made me feel a little better. I grabbed the guitar and situated myself on the stool. As soon as my fingers felt the strong chords, I felt better. My mouth opened and I sang from my heart. But my eyes were glued to Dean’s. And he made me feel safe. He nodded to me slightly during the song, encouraging me.

I forgot about the other men. It was just
me, Dean, and my guitar.

When my song was over, Dean pressed the button again. “We’d love to hear you on the piano, please.”

“Of course.” I stopped myself from touching my hair or fidgeting. I had to remain confident. I moved to the stool then rested my hands on the keys. Then my fingers started to dance.

It was easier to play the p
iano because I could stare at my hands even though I didn’t need to. And I poured my heart out through my words. All I had to do was get through this and I’d be done. They’d either approve me or they wouldn’t. I didn’t know what I would do if they didn’t.

When I was done, I staye
d in my seat waiting for instruction. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw the men converse. Smiles were plastered on their faces. It seemed to be going well.

Dean pressed the button again. “Pru, please join us.”