Lessons of the Past (22 page)

She smiled. “Me, too.”

“What can I get the two of you to drink?” the waiter asked, coming to stand beside our table.

I pointed to Alexandria and she ordered a margarita, then I ordered a beer.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, Alexandria looking out at the gulf while I stared at her. “You know,” she said, turning to look at me, “I’m glad it’s cold, because I would totally run out there, clothes and all, and jump into the water.”

“I’d love to see that,” I blurted without thinking, but she just smiled. “Actually, I’d love to see it if you stripped down first.”

“Javier, don’t be bad. We’re supposed to be trying to be friends.”

I leaned forward and dropped my voice. “Friends can still turn each other on. It’s called friends with benefits.”

“Oh really.” She leaned forward as well, a glint in her eye. “So, is that what you want? Friends with benefits?”

“No,” I said, “I can’t do that with you. I couldn’t sleep with you then pretend nothing happened. Watch you date other men? Not a chance in hell. I’m not sure I’ll be able to
just
be your friend as it is.”

We stared at each other, Alexandria not knowing how to reply and me waiting. Luckily for her, the waiter interrupted.

He placed our drinks on the table and we ordered our food. As soon as he retreated, I said, “I’m sorry if that was too much. I really do want to be your friend. I just want to be more than that too.”

“Javier—”

“Let me finish. I know I don’t deserve to even be your acquaintance, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want more. I want everything with you. I want to be your best friend, your lover, and your partner in life. I’m still in love with you. I’ve never stopped loving you. I understand your…reluctance toward me. I do. But I just want you to know if you ever change your mind, I’ll be here. It was only ever you.”

She stared at me for a long minute and swallowed. “I don’t know what to say.”

I shook my head. “I don’t want you to say anything. I just felt like you needed to know where I’m at with this.” I picked up my beer. “Now we can just enjoy our evening.”

“Okay.” She took a sip of her margarita. “Thank you for being honest, though.”

“I’ll always be honest with you.” She arched a brow, so I added, “From here on out.”

“You know, it’s weird. Timing. Caleb and I just split up last month, and now, here I am, sitting with the man who broke my heart. It’s just weird.”

Fucking hell. I knew I had hurt her, but hearing her say I broke her heart felt like a punch to the gut. “Yeah about that…” I trailed off, not knowing how to tell her about Mandy’s involvement.

“What?”

“Who is your divorce attorney?”

Her eyebrows drew together in confusion. “Davis Crawford. Why?”

“And who does he work for?” I was deliberately drawing this out, but I didn’t want to upset her.

“Raymond and Raymond. What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

I took a deep breath. “Do you remember me telling you my mother’s family are lawyers?” Alexandria nodded but didn’t say anything. “Well, my mother’s name is Erica Raymond Rodriguez. Ring a bell?”

“Holy shit,” she whispered, her eyes wide.

“My sister, Mandy, works there, too. And…well, she’s the one person I trusted to tell about us. I was severely depressed and needed someone to talk to… Anyway, my sister may have dropped a hint that someone I cared about from my past was getting a divorce.” I sighed and met her wide, hazel eyes. “I missed my chance getting you back last time. This time, I wasn’t going to take that chance.”

Javier’s family owned the law firm handling my divorce. I didn’t know how to feel about that. I knew it wasn’t his fault and he hadn’t set me up or anything, but…it just felt odd. Weird? I didn’t know. What I wanted to focus on was the part where his sister had basically told him about my divorce.

“So, you knew I was getting a divorce from the moment you said hi to me?” I questioned, irritated.

“…Yes...”

I narrowed my gaze at him. “So, you knew I was in a low point in my life and still sought me out? Bringing up all the shit I had put behind me?” My irritation was rising by the second.

“Fuck,” Javier muttered. “I didn’t think of it that way. I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to waste any time with you.”

“You are such an inconsiderate jackass. I guess some things never change.” I was overreacting and I knew it, but I still couldn’t stop myself. This man had the ability to make me see red and dampen my panties all in the same second.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” he stammered. “I’ll admit I’m selfish, but when it comes to you, I always have been. Since the moment I saw you.” He smirked. “Why change now?”

Even though I didn’t want to, I busted out laughing. “Damn you, Javier. I’m supposed to be mad at you.”

“I can’t help that I’m so loveable.” He shrugged.

Yes, you are. Damn it.
I smiled and shook my head. “You are such a nerd. A math nerd.”

“That, I am. But hell, it got me a shot with you.”

The waiter placed our food on the table, then scrambled away to check on another table full of drunk women. They were laughing loudly, reminding me of Courtney, Rebecca, and myself. I smiled before turning my attention back to Javier.

“Are you still friends with that loud girl? She had the colorful hair.”

Forking a piece of flounder, I said, “Courtney. Yes, I am. In fact, she is married to Lane and five months pregnant.”

“Oh, yes, Lane. So, I take it you are still friends with him as well.”

“Yep. I had lunch with him today. I would say he says hello, but it would be more like fuck off.”

His eyes rounded and he remained silent for a moment. “I guess I can’t expect any different. Good thing I only care what you think.” His eyes were smoldering as he stared at me.

I glanced at his plate, deciding to change the subject. Because fuck, he was getting to me. “Is that coconut shrimp?”

“Yes.” Javier popped a piece in his mouth. “Would you like a bite?”

“Maybe.”

“Hmm,” he said, then rose from his seat and sat down next to me. He grabbed another shrimp from his plate. “Do you want a bite?”

“Not now that you’ve touched it,” I teased.

“Oh, is that how you’re going to play this?” He tossed the piece of shrimp on my plate, then, in one swift move, rubbed his hand over my mouth. I tried to move away, but he was stronger and I was laughing too much to fight him.

I stopped struggling and he moved his hand to cup my face as our gazes locked. His bright eyes were shining with lust, which I was sure was reflected in mine. Smoothing his thumb over my cheek, I moved into his touch and my lips parted.

Before I could process what was happening, his lips were on mine, pressing gently. A feeling of pure desire and pleasure shot through me for the first time in five years and a moan escaped my throat. His other hand lifted to tangle in my hair, but my hands remained still—immobile.

He pulled away, then placed a chaste kiss against my lips. “God, I’ve missed those lips.”

Without any thought, I reached up and grabbed his hair, bringing his lips back to mine. The kiss wasn’t sweet this time, it was desperate. His tongue ran across my bottom lip, then swept inside my mouth. It was an all-consuming kiss, feeling his soft tongue stroking mine. Javier let one hand travel down to the hem of my sweater dress, inching it up my thigh ever so slowly.

Finally gaining some sense, I remembered we were in a public restaurant. I placed a hand over his, stopping it from pulling my dress any higher, and pulled my lips away.

“Alexandria…” he groaned.

“We’re in a restaurant.”

“I don’t give a shit.”

I shook my head, trying to clear the lust fueled fog. “I do. Let’s just finish eating, then we’ll take a walk.” I picked up the shrimp and stuffed it in my mouth.

Javier eyed me for a moment, then turned and picked his plate up, placing it next to mine. “I can’t get up right now.” I tried really hard not to laugh, but I couldn’t stop the snort that came out, leading to a fit of giggles. “You think my pain is funny?”

“Yes,” I said, trying to stop laughing.

“Just wait. You won’t be laughing later.” The look in his eyes as he said it went straight to my core. And at that moment, I didn’t care. I didn’t care that Javier’s hand was still on my thigh, stroking back and forth. I just wanted to eat my food, then let whatever was going to happen, happen.

I want to feel the way only Javier can make me feel. And I don’t want to think.

I grabbed my fork and began shoveling flounder into my mouth as fast as I could without looking like a pig. He threw a shrimp on my plate then took a bite out of my flounder, and I couldn’t help but remember how things used to be between us. How normal it used to feel to share a meal with this man.

“I’ve missed the sound of your laugh.” I turned my head to look at him, so he went on, smiling, “But I’ve really missed you snorting.”

“What?” I exclaimed.

“Yeah. Your snorting. It’s cute.”

I put my fork down and wiped my face with a napkin. “Javier,” I waited until he looked at me, “never say that to a woman. Ever.”

His facial expression was nothing short of puzzled. “What? I think you’re cute.”

“I don’t want to be cute,” I pouted.

He grabbed his wallet out of his pocket, threw some cash on the table, and then pulled me to stand. In an instant, we were walking down the steps leading to the beach. Once we were on the sand, he drew me close and his mouth connected with mine. The kiss was hard and demanding, and I couldn’t get enough. I wanted him so bad it hurt. I didn’t care about the consequences of later or the pain of the past, I just needed him.

He pulled away and placed my hand over his bulge. “See how sexy I think you are? Fuck, Alexandria, you are the complete fucking package. When I’m around you, I turn into a horny teenager.”

I didn’t say anything, just let my fingers flex over his package. His eyes rounded. “You fucking asked for it.” Then, I was wrapped around him like a vine as he kissed me fiercely, his tongue fucking my mouth.

One hand cupped my breast, kneading me into a frenzy.

“Mmm,” I moaned. “Fuck me. I want you to fuck me.”

“Don’t play with me, Alexandria,” he warned, pulling back to stare into my eyes. His blue eyes were shining with lust and…hope.

“I’m not.” I was breathing heavily, wishing he’d just fuck me right there. “I don’t care where. Your car. A cheap motel. Just do it.”

His mouth descended on mine again and I could feel him walking through the sand. I pulled back and cupped his scruffy face. “Where are we going?”

“Hotel,” was all he said, kissing me again.

A few minutes later, he placed me on my feet and led me into a hotel lobby. We walked to the desk, where Javier asked for a room. “We only have the honeymoon suite available.”

“That’s fine.” Javier pulled me closer, letting his hand travel down my back. I stared at him, trying to tell myself to run out the door and away from everything, but I couldn’t. I wanted him too much.

He took the key from the front desk employee and we walked to the elevator. Another older couple got on with us and I couldn’t help but feel bummed. Javier noticed my reaction to the couple and leaned down, whispering in my ear, “It’s okay. Once I get you in that room, you won’t even remember this elevator.”

A shiver ran down my spine and I could feel my panties dampen further. He had always had this effect on me. Some things never changed.

The elevator opened on our floor and Javier all but picked me up, taking me toward our room. Once we were out of view, he slammed me against the wall, his lips on my neck.

I tilted my head to give him better access. He moved his leg, parting mine, and I couldn’t help but grind against his impressive package bulging from his jeans. He was driving my body into an insane frenzy in the middle of the hallway, but hell if I cared.

“Javier…” I had no idea what to say, but I knew I needed more. He pulled back and nodded before hoisting me over his shoulder. Javier practically ran down the hall to our door, then unlocked it.

Pushing the door open, he swatted my ass, making me giggle. “I fucking love that sound. Every fucking thing about you.”

Javier walked through the living area and made his way into the bedroom before tossing me onto the bed. He stared at me intently and unbuttoned his shirt, exposing his tan, defined chest. I felt like my lungs were going to explode as I got my first glimpse of his toned body in five years.

He popped open the last button, exposing his
V
and my heart stopped as my body ricocheted with need. Slowly, he unbuttoned his pants and let them drop. Then, his underwear was on the floor.
Holy shit! I forgot how hung he is!
Javier leaned forward and shoved my dress up. “I don’t think you need these anymore,” he rasped, pulling my tights down my legs, his touch sending an electrical current through me.

He tossed my ankle boots to the floor and finished taking my tights off. Slowly climbing up my body, he kissed a trail up my legs until he met my covered flesh.

“I need you,” I whispered, barely finding my voice.

He kissed me, then abruptly pulled back. “I need you, too. God, I love you.” His mouth was on mine again, one hand in my hair, the other trailing down my dress. My hands roamed over his naked back, letting the feel of him soak through my fingertips.

Javier pulled my dress off, exposing my black lacy bra and panties. “Shit. If I had known you were wearing these, we wouldn’t have made it out of your driveway.” His hand traced over my panties, finding my swollen clit through the flimsy fabric. “You’re fucking soaked, baby.”

Baby.

“That’s what you do to me.”

“And I always will.”

Pushing his comment to the back of my mind, I focused on the here and now, not the future. The future sucked and I didn’t want to think about it. Didn’t want to think about what would happen when Javier dropped me off at home.

In one swift move, Javier ripped my thin panties off, tearing them to shreds. He slid one finger inside me as the other stroked my clit. “Damn, baby, you feel so good,” he panted, stroking the sensitive part inside me.