Learning to Dance Again (24 page)

‘Sounds fair to me.’

‘Anyway, you’ve got to talk to your mother and Bryden about this. Please don’t ruin your Christmas by falling out with each other; and on that note I’d better get you home soon, Julia has already sent me a text to find out how you are.’

Jamie gulped back his coffee and stood up.

‘Yeah, I guess I have some apologising to do for yesterday.’

‘We can stop off at the shops and buy flowers if you like.’

‘What, for Bryden?’ Jamie said, laughing.

Half an hour later Cameron pulled up outside Julia’s house. He saw her at the kitchen window and lifted his hand in greeting. Jamie opened the passenger door and got out, then he turned and leaned back into the car.

‘Are you coming in?’

‘No, it’s OK; I don’t need to hear a lecture on the perils of vodka from your mother.’

Jamie laughed, knowing
exactly what was in store for him.

‘What are you doing for Christmas day?’ Jamie asked.

Cameron shrugged. ‘Probably going to my sister’s. Not sure yet.’

‘Mum’s invited Lia
m round for dinner that night; I wondered if you wanted to come too.’

Cameron smiled at him.

‘Yeah, thanks mate. That would be nice.’

‘Thanks for last night.’ Jamie said.

‘Don’t mention it.’

Cameron waved again at Julia who had just come to the door. She smiled and waved back and then put her arm around Jamie and led him indoors. Cameron saw Jamie hug his mother and he sighed with relief as he drove off home.

18

Christmas Day dawned; a bleak and miserable day that had followed a wild night. Julia looked at her clock and saw it was already after nine. She went to leap out of bed, shocked at how late it was; then she relaxed and pulled the duvet back around her shoulders. She didn’t need to rush around this morning as she wouldn’t have to start cooking the turkey until much later in the day.

She listened for a moment to see if there was any noise coming from Bryden or Jamie’s rooms. Silence. How unlike this Christmas was compared to when they were little, when by now all of the presents would have been opened and the boys would have been high on chocolate and fizzy pop. Instead they were sleeping off the excesses of the night before
; they had all gone over to Marianne’s for the traditional Christmas Eve drink, which had gone on for a lot longer than normal.

Julia had enjoyed the evening much mo
re than she thought she would; perhaps because the atmosphere between Bryden and Jamie seemed much better, almost back to normal in fact. Perhaps, because there was a large crowd of young people in the house, with their infectious high spirits and readiness to laugh and joke. Julia had loved sitting in the kitchen with Marianne and her sisters and daughters, drinking Champagne and talking about everything and nothing. She couldn’t really remember what they had talked about, but it had been lightsome. They hadn’t mentioned Duncan much, but Julia knew they were all thinking of him, and that was enough.

She was thinking of him now. He was always the first person to get
up on Christmas morning. He’d been worse than any child. She stretched out in the warm bed and pulled his old sweatshirt from under his pillow. It no longer smelled of Duncan, in fact it probably smelled more of her perfume than his. She had worn it so much and had finally had to wash it, but she kept it in the bed with her, tucked under the pillow and occasionally she would wear it when it was cold.

She held the sleeve of the sweatshirt
to her face. ‘Merry Christmas darling, wherever you are.’

She heard the toilet flush in the bathroom along the hall and knew at least one of her sons was awake. She got out of bed and put her dressing gown on and went to the window and opened the curtains.

She couldn’t see the beach through the low cloud and rain. It was a disgusting day so they might not be able to go out for their Christmas walk along the beach. She wondered what else they would do today. Nothing would be the same as in previous years. It was time to start some new traditions.

Julia went downstairs and found Jamie slumped on the sofa, wearing his dad’s old dressing gown. She smiled at him and ruffled his hair as she walked past on the way to the kitchen.

‘Merry Christmas. How are you this morning?’

‘Tired.’

‘Why did you get up then?’ Julia replied.

‘It’s Christmas,’ Jamie said, grinning a like a school boy and sitting up expectantly. ‘Where’s my present?’

‘You know the rules; everyone has to be up, dressed and have had their breakfast first.’

Jamie
flung himself down on the sofa again, in the manner of a toddler beginning a tantrum.

‘That’s not fair!’

Julia laughed at him.

‘
Want some coffee, or would you rather have Ribena?’

Jamie stood up and followed her into the kitchen.

‘Coffee please.’

He
hugged her and she wrapped her arms around him and stood for a moment enjoying the fact her old Jamie was back.

‘So what’s the plan for today?’ Jamie asked.

‘Well since we’re not eating our dinner until this evening, I thought I might cook up a nice big breakfast, and then we won’t need to bother with lunch. What do you think?’

‘Great. Tell you what, I’ll just go up and have a shower and get dressed
and then I’ll cook breakfast. I’m getting quite good in the kitchen now.’

Julia grinned at him.

‘Really? Well this will be interesting. I think I’ll go and have a shower too. Then we’ll get Bryden up. There’s something I want to do when we’re all dressed.’

Julia made a cup of co
ffee and took it upstairs to her bedroom. After her shower she put on a pair of jeans and a scarlet cashmere jumper. This was a break from her tradition of wearing a dress on Christmas day. She didn’t think the boys would notice, but she wanted to make some subtle changes to the day.

She
went downstairs and found Jamie and Bryden in the kitchen. They were laughing about something and looked round guiltily at her.

‘What’
s going on?’

‘Jamie’s just burnt your frying pan.’ Bryden said, ducking out of the way of Jamie who tried to flick a tea towel at him.

‘Never mind, there’s another one in the cupboard in the utility room.’ Julia said, walking out to fetch the frying pan. She handed the new one to Jamie and then picked up the burnt pan and took it over to the sink. She scrubbed the bottom of the pan and quickly saw it was a lost cause. She carried it over to the bin and dropped it in. ‘What was that about getting quite good in the kitchen?’

Jamie laughed and turned back to chopping up mushrooms and tomatoes. He had beaten up some eggs in a
Pyrex jug and had sausages and bacon on under the grill. Bryden was making a stack of toast and they had already laid the table with juice, cutlery and pots of marmalade and butter. They had a CD of Christmas songs playing on the stereo, which made a cheerful contrast to the gloom outside the window.

Julia left the boys to the
ir cooking and went back to the lounge and switched on the Christmas tree lights. She noticed there was a new stack of presents under the tree and she felt the first thrill of anticipation.

She sat down on the sofa for a moment and shut her eyes. She
heard the boys talking about a band they had been to see in Edinburgh and realised with relief the storm had passed. Whatever it was they had fallen out about, it seemed to have been resolved. Jamie certainly seemed to have cheered up after his night out. He hadn’t said much about spending the night at Cameron’s but he had been markedly happier since then, although they had all been so busy with Christmas related shopping, cooking and socialising they still hadn’t spent much time together.

‘Breakfast is ready,’ Bryden called.

Julia stood up and walked back to the kitchen and sat down as Jamie handed out the plates.

‘This looks lovely,’ she said, appreciatively.

Bryden patted Jamie on the back.

‘Well if medicine doesn’t work out, you could always get a job as a chef.’

‘Very funny,’ Jamie said.

After breakfast Bryden sat down in the chair nearest the Christmas tree. He reached down to pick up one of the presents.

‘Before we get to the presents I thought we would do something for
your dad first.’ Julia said, as she opened the cupboard under the stairs. She reached inside and took out a box and set it down on the coffee table. Inside was a large fat candle which she put on a metal dish and carried over to the window sill. She picked up a box of matches and turned to Bryden and Jamie.

‘We’
re going to light a candle for your father; and we will do this every Christmas from now on. We will miss him every single day for the rest of our lives, but I think you’ll agree Duncan always made Christmas really special, and I will really miss him today.’

Jamie stood up and walked across the room to his mother and put his arm around her. He looked back at Bryden and beckoned h
im over. Bryden stood up, reluctantly. He walked slowly over and stood next to them.

‘There are three wicks in the candle, so we
will light one each and it should burn all day long.’ She handed the box to Jamie who struck a match and lit one of the wicks, then handed the box to Bryden who took a deep breath. He paused for a moment and looked as if he was gritting his teeth in pain. He lit a wick and then handed the matches back to Julia. Bryden stepped back and turned away as Julia lit the candle; he sat down heavily on the sofa with his head in his hands.

Julia sat down next to
him and put her arm around him.

‘It’s
OK to get upset.’

Bryden nodded without replying.

‘Have you got any more candles?’ Jamie said. ‘We should light one for Grandma Alice too.’

Julia nodded and pointed to the cup
board. Jamie found a smaller pillar candle in a glass holder. He took it over to the window sill and after lighting it he set it down next to the other candle.

Julia smiled her thanks at him and then patted Bryden’s arm.

‘Now then, shall we open our presents?’

Bryden nodded, but with a sombre expression.

‘Isn’t it about now Dad would have been opening a bottle of Champagne?’ Jamie said.

‘Shall we?’ Julia said to Bryden.

Bryden shrugged.

‘We don’t have to, if you don’t feel
like it. We can do whatever we want to this Christmas. We don’t have to celebrate if we don’t want to.’ Julia said to Bryden. ‘On the other hand, you know if there is a heaven and your father is up there watching us, he would be shouting for us to crack open the Champagne.’

‘Or whisky,’ Bryden said, his face twitching with the start of a smile.

‘Sounds good to me,’ Jamie said, walking over to the wooden cabinet that housed the drinks and glasses.

Jamie poured out three little nips of whisky and handed them round. They stood in the centre of the lounge and raised their glasses.

‘To dad; to Duncan,’ they said, before taking a sip each.

Bryden appeared to shake himself
out of the gloom and he walked over to the tree and sat on the chair nearest the hoard of presents.

‘Who’s first?’ he said, bending down to pick up a gaudily wrapped present. ‘This one’s for you, Mam.’

They spent the next half an hour opening their presents. The boys were delighted with their new iPads, and their
traditional assortment of socks and underwear Julia had bought them. Julia had also bought a large wooden scrabble board to share, as the last hardboard one had disintegrated through wear and tear over the last twenty years.

They sat in the lounge surrounded by the shreds of wrapping paper and packaging, sipping whisky and playing scrabble. Julia
felt something close to happiness.

A couple of hours later, the weather brightened up a little and they decided to walk down to the beach. They huddled into warm coats, hats and scarves and set off across the field and over the stile. Jamie and Bryden raced each other to the bench and collapsed onto it, pushing at each other in a way that reminded Julia of when they were teenagers, rather than the twenty-some
thing men they had turned into, seemingly overnight. Julia caught up with them and squeezed in between them on the bench. They stared out to sea for a moment, and then the old ritual of daring each other to swim to the island started up.

‘Not in this weather, and certainly not when you’ve been
drinking,’ Julia said sternly, hoping this wouldn’t be the year they finally decided to attempt it, just when she didn’t have Duncan to hold them back.

They were all talk though;
and they quickly switched their banter to how much turkey they would consume later.

‘Don’t forget Liam will be here too,’ Julia said, checking her watch and wondering whether it would soon be time to put the turkey in the oven.

‘And Cameron,’ Jamie said, ‘did I forget to tell you, I invited him over too?’

Julia felt herself flush.

‘What? Yes, you did forget. What time is he coming? He knows it’s going to be this evening doesn’t he?’

‘Yes of course. You don’t mind do you? It’s just he’s on his own tonight
, and after all he was pretty good about dragging me out of the pub and me spewing all over his shoes the other night.’

‘Oh for God’s sake; you didn’t did
you?’ Julia said. She covered her face with her hands, mortified at Jamie’s behaviour.

‘Just a splash
,’ Jamie replied, pulling a face at Bryden, who giggled.

‘Jamie!
Honestly,’ Julia said, slapping him on the leg in disgust and then slapping Bryden for laughing.

‘He was OK about it, and he was pleased to be invited over
.

Julia
looked at her watch again and stood up.

‘Well
, since we have two guests coming for dinner, perhaps it’s time to get back and start the dinner. We haven’t even washed up after breakfast yet.’

Liam arrived just after seven, looking slightly worn out after a shift that involved two domestic disputes and a minor traffic accident. Julia hugged him and led him into the lounge where Bryden and Jamie were sitting watching the television. They turned the television off and put on some music and fetched Liam a beer. Within minutes Liam had taken his shoes off and had his feet up on the sofa looking visibly more relaxed.