Learning to Dance Again (22 page)

Julia sat down heavily on Jamie’s bed, still holding the bottle in her hand. She tried to calc
ulate how much he had drunk and quickly came to the conclusion it was too much; particularly as he had been heading out to the pubs where he was bound to drink more. She looked around the room noticing there was no sign of a glass. He must have drunk it neat from the bottle.

‘Bloody hell!’

She put the bottle back in its box then went to her room and picked up her phone to ring Marianne, but there was no reply. She wondered about discussing the situation with Bryden but decided against it. The boys were already at war with each other.

She wondered who else she could ring. She looked up at the picture of Duncan, wishing she could talk to him. She felt very scared for Jamie. It was so out of character for him to be both uncommunicative and to drink excessively.

She rang Cameron.

‘Hi, it’s me; are you busy?’ Julia said.

‘Er no, what’s up? You sound a bit stressed.’

‘I’m a lot stressed.’

Julia told him about Jamie’s behaviour and finding the vodka bottle.

‘That doesn’t sound good,’ Cameron
said, ‘do you know where they’re going tonight?’

‘Liam picked him up; I think they were just going to a pub in Lerwick. I don’t know
which one. I know he’ll be alright if Liam is with him; but I just don’t know what to say to him when he comes home.’

‘Well, I haven’t had much experience of dealing with young men, other than when I used to be one. It sounds like
he’s deeply unhappy about something and I suppose it’s no surprise really.’

‘No I guess not. But Bryden told me he doesn’t appe
ar to be enjoying his job either. I can’t bear the thought of him messing that up after all that studying.’

‘My advice is to keep calm and see if yo
u can get him alone. Maybe he’ll open up to you over the holiday.’

‘I hope so. I’
m so worried about him. I was really looking forward to seeing them both. I know it’s going to be a tough time with it being the first Christmas without their dad; but I didn’t expect this.’

‘I would say “don’t worry” but that’s pointless. Just wait until he comes home. Maybe a night out catching up with his friends will
sort him out. Liam’s a good man; he’ll look after Jamie.’

Cameron put the phone down and sat for a moment with the television still on mute. He had been Jamie’s unofficial Godfather, unofficial inasmuch as there hadn’t been a church christening, but there had been a big party to celebrate his birth. Jamie had always been the golden boy. He was clever, sporty, good looking, confident and had always looked like he was on the fast track to success. Cameron wondered how much pressure Jamie had put on himself over the years. Medical school was tough and as a junior doctor in his first year in a hospital setting he imagined Jamie would now be working up to eighty hours a week in a demanding and stressful job. He would not have had much time to himself to grieve for his father.

Cameron stood up,
picked up his keys and wallet and went out to his car. He drove into the town centre and parked on the pier. He could see a number of pubs from where he stood beside the car and he wasn’t sure where to start. He watched a gaggle of young women tripping along the street in short skirts and high heels. They fell into one of the pubs Cameron never went to because of the loud music in the bar. He decided to start there.

He pushed his way through the throng of young people
and looked all around the pub but couldn’t find Jamie or Liam. He saw someone he recognised and asked if he had seen them, and was told they might be in the Queen’s Hotel.

Cameron hurried in that direction and as he walked past the window of the hotel bar h
e saw Liam and some other young men standing at the bar. He couldn’t see Jamie but he went inside. He went up to Liam and just before he spoke to him he saw Jamie slumped in a corner, with his head against the wall as if he was sleeping.

‘Hi Liam, I just had call from Julia. She was a
bit worried about Jamie. I came along to see if he was OK.’

‘Well as you can see, he’s a bit tire
d and emotional,’ Liam said, as he glanced over in Jamie’s direction. ‘It’s not even ten, and he’s minced already.’

‘I think he h
ad quite a bit to drink before he came out.’

‘Oh, that explains it. We were just wondering how to get him out of here. None of us can drive now, and I doubt any taxi driver’s going to want to risk him spewing in the back of the
ir car. The barman wants him to leave as well. I think it’s only because some of my colleagues are here he hasn’t thrown us all out. But if Jamie wakes up and starts shouting again, then we’ll all be out.’

‘Shouting?’

‘Yeah, just before he passed out he was getting a bit out of hand. God knows what’s wrong with him. I’ve never seen him like this before.’

‘I’ve got my car on the pier, do you think we can frogmarch him
out of here and I’ll take him home.’

‘Yeah, good id
ea.’

Jamie barely opened his eyes when Liam pulled his arm to help him stand up. He was as
pliable as a ragdoll, but significantly heavier. Liam called over one of his off-duty colleagues to help, and between the three of them they managed to manoeuvre Jamie out of the bar and down the hill to the pier. They levered him into the backseat of Cameron’s car and managed to get the seat belt around him.

‘Tell him I’ll see him on Christmas Day for dinner. And tell Julia I
’m sorry. I didn’t realise he’d already been drinking when we came out.’

‘It’s not you
r fault. I think he’s a bit down on himself at the moment.’

Cameron started the engine and drove
off; he hadn’t got very far when Jamie woke up. He started to heave as if he was going to vomit. Cameron stopped the car and sprinted round to the back and opened the door just in time for Jamie to lean out and vomit copious amounts of foul liquid onto the pavement.

‘Shit!’ Cameron said, leaping out of the way.

Jamie looked up at him, without seeming to know where he was or who he was with. He leaned out of the car again, trapped by the seat belt he was struggling to undo. He spewed again, and as he did he let out a sob of despair.

‘It’s OK son;
get it out of your system,’ Cameron said.

Jamie finally managed to undo the seatbelt and he staggered out of the car ending up on his hands and knees on the pavement
, retching unproductively. Cameron fetched a packet of baby wipes he kept in his car for sticky mishaps with Amy. He grabbed a couple and passed them to Jamie who sat back on his heels and wiped his face and hands.

Cameron stood next
to Jamie, waiting patiently for him to recover.

‘Are you feeling
any better? Do you think you can get back in the car?’

Jamie nodded and Cameron helped him t
o his feet. He returned to the back seat of the car and Cameron made sure he fastened his seat belt before getting into the driver’s seat. He started the engine and turned around to check on Jamie. He was leaning against the door with his eyes shut. Cameron set off again and a moment later Jamie started to cough.

‘I need a drink. Got any water?’

‘We’ll stop at my house. You can get a drink there and sort yourself out before I take you home.’

Jamie sat slumped over the kitchen table with his head in his hands. He had drunk two glasses of water, but they seemed destined not to settle in his stomach. Cameron had fetched an old plastic washing up bowl and had set in on the table in case Jamie was sick again. He was. Cameron turned the radio on and pottered about making himself a coffee and fetching more water for Jamie. He sent Julia a text.

“
Don’t worry; Jamie is at my house, pissed as a fart, but safe. Will bring him home in the morning. You can go to sleep now.”

Julia replied almost immediately.

“Thank you. You sure you don’t want me to pick him up now?”

“
No it’s OK, probably best if he stays put.”
Cameron replied

“
Thanks again x.”

Cameron put the phone down and sipped his coffee. He watched Jamie for a moment, thinking of his own misspent youth. He knew exactly how it felt to have had one too many
. He opened up cupboard and found a packet of aspirin and offered them to Jamie.

‘Not yet, I’ll wait until I stop spewing.’ Jamie said, looking up at Cameron gratefully.

‘Good idea. Would it help if you ate something? Toast?’

Jamie shook his head; the idea of food repelled him.

‘Who called you to come and get me?’

Cameron stared at him for a moment, unsure whether to tell the truth or not.

‘Your mother rang me. She was a bit worried about you. She said you’d been drinking vodka before you went out and you didn’t seem very happy.’

‘Why did she ring
you
?’

‘Because we’
re friends; because I was one of your dad’s best mates.’ Cameron replied, reaching for a tin of biscuits he kept for Amy. He opened the tin and sat down opposite Jamie and took out a biscuit. ‘Tell me, Jamie; man to man, what’s going on with your life that you feel the need to get so pissed you can’t even stand up? This isn’t like you.’

‘You wouldn’t understand.’

‘Really? You don’t think after being married and divorced, married again and having my wife run off with my brother, I don’t understand human suffering?’

Jamie sat up a little and reached for the glass of water. He sipped at it tentatively, expecting his stomach to revolt against the liquid. He sipped again and fee
ling a little more confident he reached for the aspirin and took a couple with some more water. He didn’t reply so Cameron tried another tack.

‘How
about if I try and guess what’s wrong? You tell me if I get it right.’

Jamie frowned at him and shrugged
non-committedly.

‘Fir
st of all, you miss your father; that’s obvious and to be expected. It was a dreadful shock to all of us who loved him.’

Jamie turned his face away, but not before Cameron noticed the pain in his eyes.

‘You also miss your mother too. You’re worried about her and feel guilty for not being in Shetland. You feel like you need to look out for her; and your brother too. But at the same time you’re working like a dog, with no sleep, no money, stressed out, exhausted, still having to study and pass exams and you can’t take your eye off the ball for a second to even look after yourself, let alone anyone else. Am I right?’

Jamie didn’t reply, but Cameron
could see tears in his eyes. Jamie bowed his head and covered his face with his hands.

‘Meanwhile Bryden has started work, earning money, enjoying
the long school holidays, driving around in your Dad’s car, playing golf, thinking about settling down. He has it easy doesn’t he?’

This last comment struck gold. Jamie sat up straight and glared at Cameron.

‘He thinks he’s just going to walk into Dad’s job and then he’s going to live in Dad’s old house, rent free as well. He gets everything he wants. He moans when some of the kids in school give him cheek. Well at least he hasn’t had one dying on a trolley in front of him with his guts hanging after being hit by a car, and his mother screaming hysterically outside the door, having to be held back by her husband. If I try and talk to him about how tough it is training to be a doctor, he just says I won’t be saying that in a few years when I’m earning four times what he does. Because
that’s
why I’m doing it – just for the money; the stupid ignorant bastard!’

Cameron took another biscuit and pushed the tin towards Jamie who shook his head and pushed it back.

‘The way I see it, you have both chosen difficult careers. Each job has its own stresses and rewards; but maybe neither of you is sure about whether you chose the right option. Medicine is the toughest job there is, and yes the money will be good, so maybe Bryden is a bit jealous of you. In the long run you will have the best financial rewards, but it may well be the Bryden has the easier life. Is this why you’re pissed off with him? And then you have your dad. You both miss him. You both want to keep a part of him with you. Your mum gave Bryden the car for purely practical reasons, but that’s got to hurt a bit eh? You know you don’t really need a car yet, but why the hell should Bryden get it? And as for the house?’ Cameron paused for a moment. Jamie’s hands were trembling, and a trickle of sweat meandered down the side of his face, despite the fact it wasn’t particularly warm in the kitchen.

‘I’ll tell you something
,’ Cameron continued, ‘I could easily have beaten my brother John to a pulp when he moved into my house with Laura and Amy. The house I designed and built for myself and my family; so maybe I do understand a little of how you feel. Why should Bryden get handed a car, a house and your dad’s old job without much effort on his part?’