Ivanov (8 page)

Sasha
I’ve heard all this before, I’ve heard it a thousand times and I’m fed up with hearing it. Go to church, you’re keeping everyone waiting.

Ivanov
No, I’m going home now, and you can tell everybody the wedding is off. Explain it any way you like. But we have to come to our senses. This provincial performance of a hand-me-down Hamlet and his awestruck disciple –

Sasha
(
flaring up
)
Is that a way to talk to me now? I won’t listen.

Ivanov
Yes you will, and I’m not finished.

Sasha
Oh, why did you come? You’re making me ridiculous with your moaning and groaning.

Ivanov
I’m done with complaining, but yes, I want you to see you’re ridiculous, and I wish I could make myself a thousand times more ridiculous, make myself a laughing stock to the whole world. When I saw myself in the
mirror it was like a shell exploding in my conscience. I started to laugh; I nearly went out of my mind with shame. (
Laughs.
)
The melancholy Dane! ‘What a noble mind is here o’erthrown!’ ‘I have of late, wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth.’ The only thing missing is writing rotten poetry. Well, I’ve done with that – the griping and whining about my wasted life that’s all gone to seed and rust, up to my neck in sick-hearted morbid misery while the sun shines and even an ant dragging its load is content – it’s not for me, not any more; to be seen as a fraud by some, as a mental case by others, and by others yet – this is the worst thing – who think there’s matter in these sighs and look at me as though I’m a Messiah about to reveal a new religion . . . No thanks very much: I kept laughing at myself all the way here, and the birds seemed to be laughing at me too, even the trees . . .

Sasha
This isn’t anger, it’s a nervous breakdown.

Ivanov
No, I
haven’t lost my mind, it’s as clear as your conscience. We love each other, but there’ll be no wedding. I poisoned my wife’s last year. While you’ve been engaged to me, you’ve forgotten how to smile, and you look five years older. Your father used to see life so plain, and now, thanks to me, it’s got him completely baffled. No, don’t interrupt. I sound vicious because I’m furious with myself and I don’t know how to sound any different. I never used to blame life for my problems, but since I started bitching about everything, without thinking or even noticing I’ve begun to curse life, and everyone around me is infected with the same disgust and has started cursing it too. What a wonderful attitude! – as if I were doing life a favour by going on living. So to hell with me!

Sasha
Stop . . . Listen to what you’ve been saying! You’re now tired of complaining and you’re ready to start a new life! That’s good!

Ivanov
What’s good about it? What new life? I’m spent. Done for. It’s time we both understood that. A new life!

Sasha
Nikolay, get hold of yourself! Who says you’re done for? Don’t be so defeatist! No – enough talk – I’m not listening. Go to church!

Ivanov
I
tell you I’m finished!

Sasha
Stop shouting, the guests will hear you.

Ivanov
When an intelligent, educated, healthy man begins to fall apart for no reason and starts on the downhill slide, he’s going to slide till he hits bottom and there’s no saving him. What could I grab hold of? I can’t drink for courage – it gives me a headache. Write rotten verses? – don’t know how. Make an icon of my spiritual despair and my idleness and convince myself it’s rather noble? I can’t do it. Idleness is idleness, weakness is weakness, I don’t have any other names for them. It’s over for me, all over, and that’s that. (
Looks round.
)
They’ll come back in a minute. Listen. If you love me, help me. This minute. Break off our engagement. Give me up. Be quick.

Sasha
Oh, Nikolay, you don’t know how you’ve tired me out. Is it fair to put all this on me? There’s not a day that you don’t ask something of me, some task, each one harder than the last. I yearned for active love, but honestly this is love for martyrs.

Ivanov
And when you’re my wife, it’ll get worse. So break it off! It’s only your misplaced sense of loyalty that’s stopping you. Do you see?

Sasha
What a desperate and illogical argument. I love you. You have no one – no mother, no sisters, no friends. You’re ruined, your estate has been eaten away, everyone around you is saying horrible things about you . . . and you expect me to give you up? How can I?

Ivanov
(
aside
)
I should never have come here. I should have done it my own way.

Ivanov takes a revolver from his pocket. Nobody sees this because Sasha has turned towards Lebedev’s entrance.

Sasha
(
runs to meet him
)
Papa – Oh, God – he came bursting in here like a lunatic, torturing the life out of me! He wants me to break it off – he says he doesn’t want to ruin me. Tell him I don’t want his selfless gestures! I know what I’m doing.

Ivanov puts the gun back into his pocket.

Lebedev
I
don’t understand anything . . . What selfless gestures?

Ivanov
There isn’t going to be any wedding!

Sasha
Yes, there is! Tell him, Papa!

Lebedev
Wait a moment, wait . . . Why don’t you want there to be a wedding?

Ivanov
I’ve told her why. She refuses to understand me.

Lebedev
No, don’t tell her, tell me. And explain it so I can understand it. Honestly, Nikolay, you turn life into a sort of modern art gallery – I look at things and don’t know what to make of them . . . It’s a punishment for something. Well, what’s an old fellow like me supposed to do about you? Challenge you to a duel or what?

Ivanov
A duel won’t be necessary.

Sasha
(
walks up and down the stage in agitation
)
Oh, it’s all so dreadful! – He’s like a child.

Lebedev
I’m throwing in my hand. Listen Nikolay, to you this is all very ‘psychological’ and intellectual, but to me it’s just bad behaviour and you’re causing a scandal,
so for the last time, listen to an old man. I’ve got one thing to say, which is this: calm down and see things as others see them. In this world, things are very simple. The ceiling is white, boots are black, sugar is sweet, you love Sasha, Sasha loves you. If you love her, marry her. If you don’t, don’t, and no hard feelings. See how simple? You’ve both got your health, you’re intelligent, decent people, you’re not starving, you’ve got clothes on your back. What more do you need? Money? Money doesn’t make you happy. Of course, your estate is mortgaged and you can’t keep up the payments, but – well, I’m her father and I’m on your side – her mother can do as she likes, if she won’t give you the money that’s up to her – Sasha says she doesn’t want a dowry – it’s all about principles and Schopenhauer – rubbish if you ask me – but I’ve got my own private ten thousand in the bank from Granny. (
Looks round.
)
Not a soul knows about it . . . so it’s yours. Take it. Only one thing, promise to give Matvey a thousand or two . . .

Ivanov
Pasha, you talk far too much. I’m doing what I think is right.

Sasha
So am I! I don’t care what you say, I’m not letting you go. Papa – it’s time for the blessing! – I’m going to get Mama.

She leaves the room.

Lebedev
Modern art again.

Ivanov
Listen, my old friend . . . I’m not going to try to explain myself to you – whether I’m straight or devious, sick or sane, you wouldn’t take it in. But once I was young, up for anything, sincere, intelligent.

Lebedev
Yes, you said.

Ivanov
I
loved, hated, believed – not along with the crowd, I was my own man, and I worked like ten men
with enough optimism for all of them, tilting at windmills, knocking through walls with my head –

Lebedev
You
said,
Nicky.

Ivanov –
and I
did it all unmindful of my strength or –

Lebedev
– weakness.

Ivanov –
weakness, not thinking, knowing nothing about life, I took the weight. And it wasn’t long before my back gave way –

Lebedev
It’s me, Nick!

Ivanov –
my spine just broke. I’d used up my youth in a rush, got drunk, over-excited, and worked without knowing my limits. But how could I have done otherwise?

Lebedev
You couldn’t.

Ivanov
There are so few of us and so much to be done! My God, so much to be done! And life got its own back.

Lebedev
It’s Pasha.

Ivanov
I’d defied life and life avenged itself without mercy. At my age I’m like an old man in a dressing gown nursing a hangover. My head feels like lead, my spirit is crushed, I’m tired out and broken down –

Lebedev
I’ll be back.

Lebedev leaves.

Ivanov
(
not noticing
)
–
with no beliefs, or love in my heart, or aim in life. I hang around people like a shadow, not knowing who I am, or why, or what I’m doing there. I’ve arrived early at the knowledge that love is a joke, love-making is ridiculous, work is meaningless, speech-making and tub-thumping are vulgar and out of date. My woeful countenance of discontent and self-disgust goes with me wherever I go.

Lebedev returns.

I’m a ruin of a man –

Lebedev leaves.

–
before his time – worn out, disillusioned, flattened by his feeble efforts, burning with –

Lebedev returns.

–
shame at his –

Lebedev –
weakness.

Ivanov –
weakness – and yet what’s left of my pride revolts, suffocating me with my rage! And to add to that –

Lebedev
(
shouts
)
Shut up, for God’s sake!

Ivanov
(
swaying
)
I’ve overdone it. I can’t even stand up.

Lebedev, contrite, holds Ivanov up.

Lebedev
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it – my angel, my cabbage – You’re all right –

Ivanov
Where’s Matvey? Tell him to take me home.

Shabelsky
(
entering
)
Here I am – in a borrowed second-hand tailcoat . . . no gloves . . . putting up with sneers and smirks from those country bumpkins.

Voices
(
off
)
The best man’s arrived!

Borkin enters quickly with a bouquet. He wears a tailcoat and the best man’s
boutonnière.

Borkin
Ugh! Where
is
he? (
To Ivanov.
)
They’ve been waiting ages at the church and here you are philosophising, it’s a joke. You’re not supposed to be with the bride, I have to drive you separately and then come back to fetch her. Did no one ever tell you?

Lvov
(
enters, to Ivanov
)
So you’re here? (
Loudly.
) Nikolay Alekseevich Ivanov, I hereby publicly declare to your face that you are a swine!

Ivanov
(
calmly
)
Thank you very much.

General confusion among the gathering onlookers.

Borkin
(
to Lvov
)
Sir, you are a contemptible cad and I am calling you out.

Lvov
Mr Borkin, I’d find it degrading to fight you or even notice your existence. As for Monsieur Ivanov, he may demand satisfaction from me whenever he likes.

Shabelsky
In that case, I will fight you, my dear sir!

But Shabelsky clutches his heart, staggers, collapses; unnoticed.

Sasha
(
to Lvov
)
What did you do that for? What do you mean by insulting him? Excuse me, gentlemen, but please let him answer me!

Lvov
Alexandra Pavlovna, I had my reasons. I came here as an honest man to open your eyes and I ask you to hear what I have to say.

Lebedev notices the Count and goes to him. He speaks his name: ‘Matty . . .?’ He sees that Shabelsky is dead. He does nothing. After a while he closes Shabelsky’s eyes.

Sasha
(
during this
)
What have you got to say about anything except your honesty? The entire world knows about that. You’d do better to tell me whether with all your honesty you know what you’re doing. You walk in here and publicly insult him – I nearly died. And before, when you were spying on him and meddling in his life, you were just as convinced that you were only doing your duty as an honest man! You’ve been spreading lies,
and slandering him whenever you had the chance, you’ve bombarded me and all his friends with anonymous letters, all in the name of your honesty. You’re so convinced of your honest, upright integrity you even persecuted his sick wife with your suspicious mind – There’s no meanness or cruelty you’re incapable of, and you still believe you’re the most honest and upright man anyone could be.

Ivanov
(
laughing
)
This isn’t a wedding, it’s a public meeting! Bravo, bravo!

Sasha
(
to Lvov
)
So think about that. Are you getting it yet? Oh, the callous stupidity of people!

She takes Ivanov by the hand.

Let’s go, Nikolay! Come on, Papa!

Lebedev is deaf to it all.

Ivanov
Go where? There isn’t anywhere to go. Just wait a moment, I’m going to put an end to all this! I can feel my youth coming back – this is the old Ivanov speaking!

Ivanov takes out the revolver.