Ivanov (2 page)

They walk away into the garden.

Shabelsky enters, laughing heartily.

Shabelsky
I swear to God, he’s a genius, a virtuoso! They should put up a statue. He’s a walking compendium of contemporary venality
–
lawyer, doctor, huckster, confidence trickster
–
(
Sits down on the step of the terrace.
)
And, you know, he never finished school, that’s the extraordinary thing. If only he’d acquired a bit of culture and picked up some science he’d be a master criminal! ‘You, ‘ he says, ‘you could have twenty thousand in a week
–
you’re holding the ace of trumps, your title: Count!’ (
Laughs heartily.
)
’Any girl with a dowry would marry you . . . Do you want me to set up Marfa for you?’ he says. ‘What Marfa?’ Oh, of course, it’s that widow whatsername, Babakina, the one who looks like a washerwoman.

Anna opens the window and looks out.

Anna
Is that you, Count?

Shabelsky
What is it?

Anna laughs.

(
With a Jewish accent.
)
Oy, vy are you laughink?

Anna
I
was just remembering what you came out with at dinner. The thief, the lame horse, how did it go?

Shabelsky
A Jew baptised, a thief gone straight and a lame horse mended are all worth much of a muchness.

Anna
(
laughs
)
Even your little jokes are spiteful. You’re full of spite. (
Unsmiling.
)
No, seriously. Living with you is a bore, it gets one down. You’re always sniping, everyone’s a crook or up to no good. Tell the truth, have you ever had a good word to say for anybody?

Shabelsky
What is this, a cross-examination?

Anna
In five years under the same roof I haven’t once heard you speak of anyone without sneering. What have they ever done to you? Do you think you’re better than they are?

Shabelsky
Not at all. I’m as big a swine as any swine in a skullcap. I never have a good word for myself either. What am I? I used to be rich, I could do as I liked, I was quite happy . . . and now . . . I’m a leech, a buffoon. If I get angry people just laugh at me. If I laugh, they shake their heads and say the old boy’s past it. That’s when they don’t ignore me.

Anna
There it goes again.

Shabelsky
What?

Anna
That owl . . . screeching, it does it every evening.

Shabelsky
Well, let it. It can’t make things any worse. (
Stretches himself.
)
Oh, Anna, if only my lottery number
had come up
–
a hundred thousand, or two hundred . . . I’d have shown you . . . I’d have been out of here, no more of your charity, the Day of Judgement would have come before you caught me back in this hole.

Anna
Oh yes?
–
and what would you have done with the money?

Shabelsky
(
having thought for a moment
)
First I’d have gone to Moscow to listen to some gypsy music. Then . . . then straight to Paris, taken an apartment, gone to the services at the Russian church . . .

Anna
And then what?

Shabelsky
Then sat by my wife’s grave with just my thoughts, day after day . . . sat there till I snuffed it. My wife’s buried in Paris.

Pause.

Anna
Well, that’s cheered us up. Do you want to try another duet?

Shabelsky
Yes, all right. Go and get some music out.

Anna goes indoors. Ivanov appears in the garden with Lvov.

Ivanov
. . . Yes, but you only qualified a year ago, you’re still young
–
I’m the wrong side of forty, so I’m entitled to give you some advice. Don’t go marrying a Jewess or a neurotic or a woman with a mind. Find yourself a plain, ordinary girl who doesn’t make any unnecessary noise. Settle into a routine, the duller the better. Don’t try to fight the whole world, don’t butt your head against the walls. And stay clear of scientific farming, progressive education, and public speaking. Find a quiet corner and just get on with the task God gave you
–
it’s more comfortable, more honest and better for your health. Look at my life
–
I’m worn down by it, worn away by
bad decisions, injustice, incompetence
–
(
Catching sight of the Count, he explodes.
)
Oh, you again!
–
Why are you always hanging about and getting in the way? It’s impossible to have a private conversation!

Shabelsky
(
plaintively
)
Or to find any peace around here, God dammit!

He jumps up and goes into the house.

Ivanov
(
shouts after him
)
I’m sorry!
–
sorry! (
To Lvov.
)
Why did I have to do that? I’m falling apart. I must do something about myself, I really must.

Lvov
(
agitated
)
Nikolay Alekseevich, I’ve heard you out and now, forgive me, I’m going to tell you plainly: your voice, your very tone, never mind the words, it’s all so unfeeling. Someone close to you is dying, in fact she’s dying
because
she’s close to you, and you don’t show her any consideration, all you do is walk around ordering everybody about, throwing fits . . . I don’t know how to put it, but, well, I just find you appalling.

Ivanov
Yes . . . you could be right. You’re in a better position to judge. Quite likely you see me for what I am. (
Listens.
)
It sounds as if the horses have been brought round. I have to go and get changed . . .

He goes towards the house and stops.

You don’t like me, Doctor, and you don’t bother to hide it. I respect you for that.

He goes indoors.

Lvov
(
aside
)
Oh, damn my cowardice! I had another chance to tell that charlatan to his face he’s a selfish, despicable hypocrite, and I didn’t take it! I can’t keep my wits when I talk to him
–
I hardly get a word out before something in here
–
(
Indicates his chest.
)
–
stops my breath. I’m churning inside, my tongue sticks to the roof
of my mouth . . . There he goes – off out again when his wretched wife’s only comfort is to have him by her – he says he can’t stay – he’s suffocating here, you see, can’t stay in even for one night – he’d put a bullet through his head just to relieve the monotony. Poor devil, he needs his freedom, doesn’t he? – freedom to find another way to torture her. Oh, I know why he goes to Lebedev’s every evening – don’t think I don’t!

Ivanov, in hat and coat, comes out of the house with Shabelsky and Anna.

Shabelsky
Really, Nicolas, it’s inhuman of you. We go to bed at eight o’clock out of sheer boredom. It’s monstrous – it’s no life! Why should you be allowed to go out and not us?

Anna
Oh, leave him be, let him go.

Ivanov
(
to Anna
)
How could you go anyway? – You’re a sick woman, you’re not allowed outdoors after the sun’s gone down. Ask the doctor. You’re not a child, Anyuta, act your age. (
To Shabelsky.
)
And why do you want to go to the Lebedevs?

Shabelsky
I’d go to hell on a crocodile – anything rather than stay here. (
Shouts.
)
I’m bored! I’m stupid with boredom! You leave me at home so your bored wife isn’t bored on her own, and I’m boring her to death.

Anna
Leave him alone – let him go if he wants to go and enjoy himself.

Ivanov
Don’t say that – you know I’m not going there to enjoy myself. I have to talk to them about the money I
owe.

Anna
I
don’t know why you’re bothering to make excuses. Off you go! No one’s stopping you.

Ivanov
Can we not squabble like this? There’s no need.

Shabelsky
(
in a tearful voice
)
Nicolas, my dear boy, I beg you, take me with you! I just want to give those frauds and fools a look-over, it might even be amusing. I haven’t been out since Easter!

Ivanov
(
irritated
)
Oh, come on then! I’m so tired of this.

Shabelsky
Can I
really? Oh,
merci, merci beaucoup.
Can I wear your panama?

Ivanov
As long as you’re quick.

Shabelsky runs into the house.

I’m sick of the lot of you! Oh God, what an awful thing to say! It’s not how I used to talk to you. I’m sorry, Anna. I won’t be back late.

Anna
Kolya . . . please, darling – don’t go out!

Ivanov
(
agitated
)
My sweet love, my poor unhappy darling, I implore you, don’t stop me going out in the evenings. I know it’s unfair, but let me anyway! – I can’t bear being here. The moment the sun goes down, I’m in misery. Don’t ask me why. I’ve no idea. Honest to God, I don’t know why. It’s misery at home, misery at the Lebedevs, misery when I get back – and so on all night long – I don’t know what to do.

Anna
Then you might as well stay at home, Kolya. We’ll talk . . . like we used to – have supper together, read . . . That old moaner and I have learned lots of new duets for you . . . (
Puts her arms around him.
)
Do stay!

Pause.

I don’t understand you. You’ve been like this for a whole year now. Why did you change?

Ivanov
I
don’t know . . . I don’t know . . .

Anna
Why don’t you want me to come with you any more?

Ivanov
I’ll tell you why if you really want to know. It’s terrible but better said. When I get into one of my states, I begin to stop loving you. I’m in such misery I have to get away even from you. I have to get away from this house.

Anna
I know something about misery, Nikolay. Let me tell you, Kolya – what you have to do is be the way you used to be – sing, laugh, let off steam. Don’t go. We’ll have a laugh, have a drink, we’ll chase away your misery in a minute. Do you want me to sing for you? Or we could go and sit in your den in the dark as we used to and you can tell me all about your misery! There’s such suffering in your eyes! – I’ll look into your eyes and cry and we’ll both feel better. (
Laughing and crying.
)
How does it go? ‘Flowers return with the spring, but happiness lingers behind.’ Is that it? Oh – all right, go then, just go!

Ivanov
Say a prayer for me, Anya!

He moves off, hesitates.

No, I can’t!

Anna
Then go . . .!

Ivanov leaves. Lvov approaches her.

Lvov
Anna Petrovna – you must make it a rule: when the clock strikes six you must come indoors and not go out till morning. The evening air is damp, it’s bad for your chest.

Anna
Very good, sir.

Lvov
I’m serious.

Anna
I don’t want to be serious. (
Coughs.
)

Lvov
You see?

Shabelsky comes out of the house in hat and coat.

Shabelsky
Where’s Nikolay? Are the horses brought round?

He walks quickly over to Anna and kisses her hand.

Good night, light of my life! (
Pulls a funny face.
)
Gevalt!
Exscushe pliz.

Shabelsky hurries out.

Lvov
Idiot!

Pause. Distant sounds of an accordion can be heard.

Anna
How unfair! Even the coachmen and cooks are having a party over there. I’m not invited to the ball . . . Yevgeny, what are you marching up and down for? Come and sit down.

Lvov
I can’t sit down.

Pause.

Anna
They’re playing ‘The Little Finch’. (
Sings.
)
’Little finch, little finch, where did you go? Tippling vodka out in the snow.’

Pause.

Do you have a mother and father somewhere?

Lvov
My father’s dead, but I have a mother.

Anna
Do you miss her?

Lvov
I have no time to miss people.

Anna
(
laughs
)
’Flowers return with every spring, but happiness lingers behind.’ Who taught me that? . . . Can’t remember . . . It must have been Nikolay. (
Listens.
) There goes that owl again.

Lvov
Let it.

Anna
I
feel I’ve been swindled by life. Most people no better than I am are happy and haven’t had to pay for it. But I’ve paid for absolutely everything . . . paid all I have . . . and I’m still getting final demands.
Oy vay.
Do you know any funny stories?

Lvov
Me? No
.

Anna
Nikolay knows lots. You know, another thing – I’m beginning to be amazed by how unfair people are. Why don’t they repay love with love? – instead of lies? How long do you think my mother and father are going to go on hating me? They live only a day from here. but I can feel their hatred even in my sleep. And what am I to think of poor Nikolay? He says it’s only in the evenings, when he’s at his lowest, that he stops loving me. I try to understand, I bear it patiently but suppose he stopped loving me altogether? Of course I know he won’t, but suppose suddenly he did? No – no I mustn’t . . . (
Sings.
) ‘Little finch, little finch, where did you go?’ (
Shudders.
) I have such terrible thoughts sometimes . . .