If Only We Knew (8 page)

“You don’t have to explain anything to me.” She turned to look at Matt. “Matt, your son is gorgeous.” She kissed him on the forehead, turning him around and burp
ed
him. “Mom and Dad are on their way, and you will have a lot of explaining to do.” She
laugh
ed
.

“I need to call my dad and Andrew.”

He was about to call his brother when Sherry asked, “Does your wife know?”

“No, because I just found out myself, but she will soon enough.” He stood up. “I’ll be back.” He
said
walk
ing
out the door
, without looking at Shannon
.

“Shannon, why didn’t you tell him? You guys are friends. Did you think he wouldn’t notice?” She held up the baby so Shannon could see. “Look at this baby. He looks like his father.”

“Sherry, I didn’t think it through. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”

“Unless you didn’t know who the father was.”

“That’s insulting. I knew who my baby’s father was. I don’t fucking open my legs for anyone. I can’t believe you of all people would say that.”

“Shannon, what do you want me to think? You didn’t tell your best friend he was having a baby, after what he’s been through?”

“I did it for him because he was a newlywed, expecting a baby. I didn’t want to cause him any more turmoil. He was finally happy.”

“You thought telling him he was going to get what he always wanted was a problem? You shouldn’t have done this by yourself. It takes two to tango. He had as much to do with conceiving this baby as you did. It’s his problem how to handle the consequences of his actions, and by the looks of things, he is handling them right now.”

“What are you talking about?” She looked at her sister.

“He went to tell his wife about his son.”

Shannon looked up and saw her parents in the doorway. Her mother had a bouquet of flowers in her hand. “Mom, Dad.”

Her mom put the flowers on the table and walked over to Shannon, hugging her. “Let me see my grandson.” With a lit-up smile, she reached for the baby. Sherry transferred him carefully into his grandmother’s arms.

“Shannon, my grandchild is beautiful,” she said, inspecting the child’s features. She looked at his fingertips, touched each one in turn. “He’s also biracial.” She
glanced over
at her daughter.

“Why are you laughing, Sherry?” her dad asked her.

“Why don’t you tell them, Shannon?” Sherry smiled at her sister.

The baby opened his eyes. “Your baby looks like someone we all know,” her mom said. “He’s just going to be a darker version of him. Is that why when I mentioned Melvin, you changed the subject? I always thought you had a thing for him.”

“It’s Matt Johnston’s baby, and she kept the truth from him.” Sherry at least had the decency to look guilty after blurting out the words.

Her mom stared at her. “Is that true, Shannon?”

Shannon didn’t
answer, remaining
silent
star
ing at her dad’s shiny spot on his
baldhead
and
then looking
away.

“You know why this baby looks like his father? Because you tried to hide the truth. What’s done in the dark usually comes to the light, and that’s what happened to you and Matt. It was God’s will for Matt to find out. What you tried to do was wrong.” Making little cooing noises, she rocked the baby.

Her dad said. “Shannon, please tell me this is not true. That you didn’t get knocked up by that white boy. You let us down when you got pregnant without being married. You have always been smart. What made you do something this dumb? Not only is he white, he is also married.” He was angry. “What will people say?”

“Patrick, this is not the time or the place. He is here now, and there is no turning back. Shannon, even with the mistakes you’ve made, I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become. I love my grandson regardless of who his father is because he is yours, and that’s all I care about. But I’m happy Matt’s the father. At least I know he’ll take care of my grandson.” She kissed the baby’s forehead.

Patrick stared stubbornly ahead, as though the pink hospital-room wall held all the answers.

“Dad, you’re wrong to talk to Shannon like that. She just had a baby, and who cares what people say? She is a grown woman.” Sherry sat on the end of the bed. “I know this doesn’t count for much, but at the time, he wasn’t married. We all make mistakes,” she said, patting Shannon’s feet. “Shannon, I think your son is gorgeous.”

“Joy, you know I’ll love him no matter what, but I’m so disappointed in our daughter.”

On the way home, Matt was beside himself, thinking of his son and how beautiful he was. He called his dad and brother and told them the news. They were both surprised but happy about the new addition to the family. Matthew was the first grandchild. Even so, as he approached the driveway, his smile vanished. By the time he walked through his front door, he was tight with tension.

“Karen?”

“I’m coming.” She ran down the stairs.

“We need to talk.”
He rubb
ed
his hands together
, getting
nervous.

She ran up to him, kissing his lips. “I missed you last night. How are Shannon and her baby doing?”

He took her hand. “We have to talk about the baby.”

“What about it?” She guided him to the sofa in the living room. “Is he okay?”

He sat with her, cupping her face. “I’m so sorry,” he said
, grinding his teeth
,
try
ing
not to cry
.

“You’re sorry for what?”

“Karen, I found out today. I didn’t know. Do you remember when I told you I slept with someone before we got married?”

“Yes, I remember, and I forgave you. We all make mistakes.” She
clasped
his hand. “Just tell me, Matt.”

He moved his hand and looked away. “It was Shannon.”

“What was Shannon?”

“The person I slept with.”

She looked stunned. “Your friend, Shannon.”
She jumped up
off the sofa, shaking her head.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. All this time….”

“It happened once, we were drunk. I told you, and you didn’t react like this then. She’s just my friend.”
He said getting up.

“A friend that you fucked, the one that’s like family.” She laughed sarcastically. “Why tell me now?” She
gl
ared at him. He saw it in her eyes she’d figured it out. “No, please don’t tell me…her
baby…”

“Yes, he’s mine,” he said, trying to grab her hand.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Karen, this happened before we got married. I know that’s no excuse. It was a mistake, but I can’t regret my son.”

“You can’t regret him…why? I want you to get a blood test.”

“Karen, I don’t need a blood test. He’s the spitting image of me.”

“Newborns don’t look like anyone.”

“This newborn does.”

“Why didn’t she tell you? I bet she didn’t know who the father was.”

“She didn’t tell me because of us. She didn’t want what’s happing now to happen. She was going to tell me, but she found out we lost the baby, and then that we couldn’t have children. She didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Oh, so now it’s my fault? Because I can’t have kids?” she yelled.

“Karen, I didn’t say that. I’m just trying to explain her intentions. She should have told me the truth from the beginning, but I can’t change the past. He is here now.”

“Walk away from him.”

“Karen, how can you ask me to do that? What kind of man would I be to abandon my child? Sorry, but I can’t do that. I love that baby already.”

“You love him? But you just found out!”

“Karen, please don’t ask me to choose, please. I care about you, and I know we can work through this. Remember, for better or worse,” Matt said, trying to get closer to her.

“Get your things and get out!” Karen yelled at him.

“Karen, don’t do this, we need to talk.”

“I want you to leave this house.”

“Karen, I care about you.” He went up the stairs and quickly packed, throwing the first things he could grab into his gym bag.

Before he walked out of the house, she said
.
“You walk away from him, or me. Choose.”

He
turned and left, looking back in guilt, but not regret
.

Matt
entered
the hospital room, looking for the baby. “Where is he?”

“The nurse took him to nursery to clean him up. What happened? Are you okay?” Shannon leaned up on the bed.

“I just had to tell my wife, who can’t have a baby, that my friend and I just had one together. How do you think I feel?” He raised his voice, turning away from her, trying to get his emotions in check.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you any more problems,” she sighed. “That’s why I never wanted you to know.” She
held on to the bed and slid off in pain,
head
ing
to the bathroom.

“Shannon, I’m sorry. It’s not your fault.” He turned around to face her, but she wasn’t in her bed. He looked around and noticed she’d gone into the bathroom. He walked over to the bathroom door and put his forehead to the wood. He
could
hear her crying. He
felt bad for making her cry,
it wasn’t his intention
.
He hadn’t meant to blame her or accuse her. He
knocked on the door and
opened
it
,
to see her sitting on the toilet with her hands over her face. He walked over and kneeled down in front of her. “I’m sorry.” He moved her hands. “It’s not your fault.” He wiped her tears.

“I’m so sorry. This is what I tried to avoid. I don’t want you to feel guilty about him. You don’t have to be involved.”

“Shannon, he’s my son. He’s everything I’ve wanted and thought was gone.” He leaned forward, hugging her. “Everything is going to be fine. I promise.”

She whispered, “It’s not…my parents, you, your wife….” She covered her face with her hands. “They all hate me.”

He rubb
ed
her back. “I don’t hate you. I may be disappointed, but I can never hate you,
Mamita
,” he said, pulling away from her. “We’re going to be fine, I promise.” He cupped her face, gazing into her red-rimmed eyes.

Andrew came into the bathroom too, holding a big wrapped box. “What’s going on? Is the baby okay?”

Shannon looked up at Andrew and started combing her hair with her fingers. Matt could tell she was uncomfortable with his brother being there.

“Yes
he’s perfect
.
Andrew can you wait outside, we’ll be right out
,”
Matt
sai
d
. Andrew
back
ed
out
closing the door.

Matt
help
ed
her up,
fixing her hair, and wiping her face. “You look beautiful for just having
my
baby.” He opened the door
and help
ed
her to the bed, where he tucked her in.

“Sorry about that, we just needed to talk.” He said pulling up the sheets on her legs.

“You needed to talk in the bathroom?” his brother said, looking
over at the both of them with a grin on his face
.

“What’s in the box?” Matt asked him.

“A gift for my one and only nephew,” he said proudly.

“Thanks,” Shannon said, yawning.

“I just saw him. He’s the most beautiful baby in that nursery.”

“I know, he’s my son.” Matt smiled
from ear to ear feeling proud of his little boy
.

“Shannon, do you need anything?” Andrew asked her.

“No, I’m just still a bit tired.” She yawned again.

“Go to sleep,
Mamita
.” Matt walked over and kissed her on her forehead. “I’ll be outside.”

Matt and his brother stepped outside the door. “Matt, do you have feelings for Shannon? Don’t bullshit me.”

“She’s always been more than a friend to me.” He placed his hand in his pants pocket.

“You didn’t say no.”

“I don’t know what I feel for her, but something changed when she gave birth to my baby.”

“Are you sure you have feelings for her? Or is it just about the kid?”