If Only We Knew (5 page)

Matt walked over, looking at the screen. “I can see the baby’s hands and feet.” He pointed, smiling.

The doctor and nurse smiled. “It’s his first sonogram,” Shannon said,
giggling
.

The doctor explained the growth and all the baby’s organs. “Do you want to know the sex of your baby?”

“No, I want it to be a surprise.”

While the doctor talked to Shannon and answered her questions, Matt didn’t take his eyes off the screen. “That’s amazing. I can actually see the baby’s face.”

“Is everything okay?” Shannon asked. “It’s my first time and I don’t know what to expect.”

“Yes, your baby is healthy. Right now you’re about twenty-four weeks.” The doctor turned off the machine. He reminded her to sign up for childbirth classes through the hospital and handed her a pamphlet. “I’ll see you next month,” he said on the way out the door.

The nurse wiped her stomach and told her she could get dressed and make her next appointment on the way out.

“Matt?” She got off the table.

“Yes, I’m just amazed at the technology.”

She could see the amusement in his eyes, as he stared at her.

“Are you going to Lamaze class?” he asked now looking at her.

“Yes, Sherry is my partner.”

“I wish….” He stopped himself before he finished his sentence. When he saw the baby on the screen, he felt a powerful connection.

“You wish what?” She
walked
to the bathroom.

“Nothing,” he answered as she closed the door. The nurse popped back in and handed him three pictures of the sonogram. “Thank you.”

He took out his wallet and placed one of the pictures in it.

Shannon returned to the room as he placed his wallet back into his pocket. “What’s that?”

“Pictures of your baby.” He handed them to her.

“Who would’ve thought I would become a mommy? I’m so excited to see him or her.” She stared at the pictures and put them in her purse.

“Yeah, who would’ve thought? You didn’t want any kids, and you’re having one, and I wanted kids and can’t have one.”

“If that’s how you feel, you shouldn’t have come with me.” She
moved
toward the door.

He
followed
behind her, grabbing her arm. “Shannon, I’m sorry. I wanted to come and support you.” He released her arm and touched her face, gazing into her brown eyes. “Don’t cry.”

“It’s just my hormones.” She tried to avoid looking at him.

“Is it just your hormones?” He wiped her falling tears with his thumbs.

“What do you mean?” She stared back at him.

“
Mamita
, tell me the truth. Is the baby mine?” She pushed his hands away from her face and tried to move around him, but he wouldn’t let her. “Why won’t you answer me? I know you don’t want to talk about that night, but—”

She was about to answer when his phone rang. He dug into his pocket, pulled out his phone, looked at the number, and answered. “Sweetheart.”

Shannon pulled away and walked to the counter to schedule her next appointment.
Thank God Karen called. I almost told him. I’m not going to be the cause of any more unhappiness in her life
. She rubbed her stomach. “I want you be loved without guilt.”

“Who are you talking to?” He walked up behind her.

“The baby. I read that it’s healthy to talk to your unborn baby. Something about bonding.” She picked up her appointment slip.

“Are you going to answer my question?” He followed her out of the doctor’s office.

“I’ve told you already.” She was annoyed as he opened the car door for her.

“Okay. I just got overwhelmed, looking at your baby.” He closed the door. “Can the baby call me Uncle Matt?” he asked, smiling.

“Yes, the baby can call you Uncle Matt.” She put on her seatbelt.

He rubbed her stomach. “Since Karen can’t have children, this is the closest I’ll get to having my own because Andrew is not having one any time soon.” He rubbed her stomach one more time, started the car, and drove her home. “I would love to stay and talk some more, but I have plans with the wife and in-laws.”

“Have fun.” She leaned over, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “And Matt? Thank you. Thank you for being there.”

Shannon was sitting on her couch in the living room, crying in pain. The baby was pushing on her ribs. Two months had passed since Matt had gone with her to her six-month appointment. Since that day she hadn’t mentioned her appointments to him. She made sure she took her sister or mom instead. She still saw Matt at work and would go out to lunch with him once in a while, but she avoided him as much as possible. She couldn’t allow him to get any closer without finding out the truth.

The phone rang. “Hello,” she said, between sobs. “I’m not in the mood.”

“
Mamita
, what’s wrong?”

“N-nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me. I can hear it in your voice.” She could hear the skid of tires, apparently from his car. “I’m on my way.”

“Matt, I’m okay, don’t you dare—” Before she could finish her sentence, he’d hung up.

Fifteen minutes later he was knocking on the door, but the pain in her ribs slowed her down.

“Shannon, open the door or I’ll break it!” Matt yelled.

“I’m coming!” she yelled back at him.

After a minute or two, she turned the doorknob and opened the door. She was holding her stomach. “What?” She rolled her eyes at him. “I told you not to come.” She
wobbled
back to the couch.

He closed the door and rushed to her. “What’s wrong? Are you in labor?”

“No, I’m not in labor, the baby is stuck in my ribs. He’s just playing, but it hurts like crazy,” she said, wiping her eyes.

“You scared the living shit out of me. I thought something had happened to you. What can I do to help?” He stood next to her.

He was dressed in a dress shirt and black slacks. “It’s the weekend, and you’re all dressed up. Were you going out?”

“I was supposed to meet Karen and some friends for dinner, but I cancelled.”

“Not because of me. Go be with your wife. I’ll be okay. This has happened to me before. That’s how I know the baby has stuck his foot in my ribs.” She rubbed her stomach.

“I’m not leaving you. You’re more important than dinner.” He took her hand. He sat down on the floor and put a pillow between his legs. “Sit down.” He helped her get down and sit between his legs, pulling the pillow up to his chest. “Lie back and relax. I’m going to massage your baby down. I bet it will help.”

She laid her head back, and when he massag
ed
her stomach with his large hands, the baby kicked.

“That feels so weird, but in a good way, knowing that a baby is growing inside you. Hey, little one, I’m Uncle Matt. Be nice for your mommy.”

He kept rubbing the top of her stomach until he realized that both mom and baby were calm. He looked down, and Shannon was asleep. He stayed there, holding her, until he fell asleep, too.

He woke up to his phone vibrating in his pants. He pulled it out and saw a text from Karen.

Where are you?

He texted back. I’m with Shannon; she wasn’t feeling well. I’ll be home soon.

I hope she feels better soon. After dinner, I’m going out with friends.

Have fun.

He put the phone on the floor next to him. He just couldn’t stop staring at her.
You don’t know how beautiful you are.
He put his hands on her stomach again. The baby jumped, and he smiled.
I know I shouldn’t be feeling this, but I wish you were mine.
It took him a minute to slide out from under her. Making sure not to wake her, he picked her up and carried her to her bed, tucked her in, and left.

Matt and Karen walked out the restaurant after having dinner with her friends. He opened the door for her, and then he walked over to his side of his SUV and jumped in. He plugged his cell phone in to charge. It had died during dinner.

“That was fun. Thank you for paying the bill for all my friends,” she said, turning to look out the window.

“You’re welcome.” He turned on his cell phone. Looking at the screen, he saw his brother had called him seven times. He picked it up and dialed the number, placing it on speaker. “Andrew, what’s wrong?”

“Matt, Uncle Victor had a stroke. He’s in surgery. I tried to call you earlier. I’m at Mercy Hospital with Dad.”

“My cell died. I’m on my way.” He hung up the phone and turned the car around.

“Where are you going?” Karen asked.

“To the hospital. Didn’t you hear my uncle is in surgery?” he asked, not bothering to mask the irritation in his voice.

“Take me home.” She looked at him.

“What did you just say?” He glanced back at her and then looked forward.

“I said take me home, I’m sleepy.”

“You must be kidding me. My uncle is in the hospital and all you can think about is going home to fucking sleep?” He squeezed the steering wheel in anger.

“Look, Matt, I don’t really know your uncle.” She crossed her arms. “Take me home.”

Matt turned the car around, not wanting to argue, and drove her home. She tried to kiss him goodbye, and he pulled away. She got out of the car.

“Call me and let me know how’s he’s doing?”

He didn’t say another word. As soon as she closed the door, he sped off.

Matt raced through the doors into the emergency room. His father, brother, and his Uncle Victor’s wife, Carmen, sat together. He walked over and sat next to his dad. “He’s in surgery,” his dad said with teary eyes.

“He’s going to be okay, Dad, Uncle Victor is strong.” Andrew
said
looking exhausted
.

“Andrew is right, Dad.” Matt put his arms around his dad’s shoulders and hugged him. “Dad, do you need anything?”

His dad said, “No, son. You two being here is enough.
Gracias
.”

“
De nada, Papa
.”

They all sat in silence, waiting to hear from the doctors. The nurse came out and gave them an update. The surgery was going well.

The elevator opened, and Shannon came running out. She wore a wrap around her head, a T-shirt, and sweatpants that showed her big belly. He smiled, stood, and walked over to her. “What are you doing here?”

She hugged him. “I know how much your uncle means to you. I’m here for support.”

He hugged her back tightly. “How did you find out?”

She pulled away. “Andrew called me when you didn’t answer your phone. I hope you don’t mind me coming.”

“I don’t mind it at all,
Mamita
. We need all the support we can get.”

She w
ent
over to his dad and hugged him. “God is watching over your brother. If you need anything, I’m here.”

His dad hugged her back and said, “Thank you.”

She hugged Andrew and Carmen, telling them that everything would be okay. She
turned
back to Matt.

“Where’s your wife?”

“She’s sleeping,” he said sarcastically. “I don’t want to talk about that now. Shannon, if something happens to my uncle, my dad will be broken. It’s been the two of them against the world.” He smiled. “I remember growing up, wishing I would have the same relationship with my brother that they had, and I have that. If anything happened to Andrew, I would lose a piece of me. That’s how I know how Dad’s feeling right now.”

“Do you believe in God?” She took his hand.

“You know I do,” he said, staring at her.

“Come with me.” She pulled him by the hand. They reached the small chapel in the hospital. “We need to pray.”

“I haven’t prayed in a long time. What if he doesn’t listen?”

“He will listen to you. He always does.” She kissed his hand, then let it go.

He opened the doors and walked in. Shannon
followed
behind him. “Will you pray with me?” He
took
her hands in his.

“Yes.” She kneeled in front of the altar, and he joined her.

“Dear Lord, we come to you asking that you look over Uncle Victor….” He finished praying, got up, and then he helped her up. “Thank you.” He kissed her cheek.

“We should get back to your family.”
They left
the chapel.

Andrew ran up to them, smiling. “He’s out of surgery. He’s alive and they think he’s going to be fine. He might need speech therapy, but we won’t know that until he wakes up. Dad and Carmen are in with him in the recovery room.”