If Only We Knew (13 page)

Matthew’s cries got louder. He pried himself away from Karen. “I have to.” He got off Karen. Jumping off the bed,
picking up
his boxers and pulling them back on, he went in the bathroom to wash his hands and headed out of their bedroom. He entered the nursery. “Hey, little one, I’m here.” He picked him up. “You’re chewing on your fist. You’re hungry.” He went over to the dresser and picked up the baby’s bottle, sat down in the rocking chair, and fed him. “How can she look at you and not feel anything? You’d have to not have a heart to see you and not love you.” He gently combed Matthew’s hair.

Karen heard everything Matt was saying over the baby monitor. “I have to start paying that fucking baby some attention or else I’ll lose everything I’ve
worked so hard for. I told him
this would happen.”

It was Sunday, time to take Matthew back home to his mom. He knocked on
Shannon’s
door.

An African American man answered. He was about six feet tall, just a few inches shorter than Matt. He sized him up. He had a short, tapered haircut
.

“How can I help you?” the guy asked.

Matt looked at the man dumbfounded, passed him, and went right in.

“Excuse me, you can’t just come in this house.” He closed the door,
watching as
Matt
strolled in
.

Matt ignored him, putting the car seat with the baby sleeping inside on the sofa. “Where’s Shannon?” He turned angrily to face
the guy
.

“Who are you?”
He
walked closer to Matt.

“I’m the father of her baby. Who the fuck are you?” Matt
asked staring at him angrily.

“I’m her fucking date. Soon to be her man.” He smiled.

“We’ll see about that.” He took the baby out of the car seat, walked into the nursery, and placed him in his crib. Then he went
searching
for
her
.

“Shannon.”

“I’m in here,” she yelled.

When he opened her bedroom door, she was putting on a pink T-shirt. He
ogled
at her now flat stomach. Looking farther down, he noticed she was only wearing a black lace Cheekies, which defined her butt. He instantly became aroused. I forgot how amazing she looks,
he thought.

Shannon got the T-shirt over her head and was startled when she saw him standing there,
glaring at her
. “Oh God, Matt,” she said, trying to cover up. She grabbed her jeans and ran into the bathroom. “I’ll be right out.”

Its not like I haven’t seen your body before
. He walked into her room, then stepped back when she came out of the bathroom with her jeans on.
Pink brings out her beautiful chocolate eyes
. “Who’s that in your living room, opening your door?”

She
ignored his question
. “What are you doing here so early? I thought you were bringing him back later.”

“My mistake. I thought you missed him.” He stared at her, still having the vision of her in her panties in his mind.

“Of course I did. Where is he?” she asked, about to pass him.

He grabbed her arm and turned her to look at him. “He’s in his room, sleeping. Answer me.
Who is he?”

“He’s someone I started seeing about two weeks ago.”

“So when were you going to tell me?”

“I don’t have to tell you what I do in my personal life.” She tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let go.

“You do when it involves Matthew,” he said, clenching his jaw.

“It doesn’t involve Matthew. He came to pick me up because Matthew wasn’t here. I wouldn’t let anyone meet our son unless they are going to be involved in
his life.” He let her go and sta
lked through her bedroom door and on into the nursery.

She followed him. “He’s getting so big, and his hair is get
ting
really curly.”

“I guess you better cancel your date.” He walked over to the crib, kissing Matthew. “Bye, Shannon.”

She gr
ipped
his arm. “Can you stay with him?”

“No, not for you to go out with that guy.” He took her hand off his arm.

“Matt, you have a wife. You found your soul mate.” His eyebrow arched. “I haven’t found mine yet. I thought you wanted the best for me.”

“He’s not the best for you.” He cupped her face.

“You don’t know that. Give me a chance. Just two hours.”

He moved in closer to her and leaned down
, staring at her luscious lips
.

“Shannon, are we still going to lunch?” her date yelled from the other room.

She looked at Matt. He released her. “Okay.”

“Okay what?
”

“I’ll stay, but just for two hours.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, walking out of the nursery. “Yes, David, we’re going!” Matt was right behind her. “Matt, this is David. David this is Matt, my friend and my son’s father.”

Both men remained silent. She grabbed her purse,
pulling
David’s hand, and headed out the door. “See you in two hours.” She closed the door.

Matt
went
back into the nursery, picked up the baby, and walked back out to the living room. “What’s wrong with me? I almost kissed your mommy.”

Three hours later, Shannon
strolled
into her house. Matthew was asleep on Matt’s chest, sucking his thumb.

“You said two hours.”
He said arching his brow.

“Sorry, time passes by really fast when you’re having fun. Thank you.” She walked over and picked Matthew up from his chest. “How’s my prince doing? I missed you.” She kissed his chunky cheeks.

Matt got up, stretched, and
slowly
mov
ed
to the door. “I hope you had fun.”

“Matt, wait,” she said, putting Matthew in his bassinet. “What’s wrong?”

He turned around and rushed toward
s
her. “This is what’s wrong.” He cupped her face, leaned down, and kissed her.

He felt Shannon’s hesitation at first, but then she placed her hands on his chest and eventually opened up for him. He plunged his tongue into her mouth, tasting every corner, feeling the electricity pass between them.

He gently pulled away from her. “That’s my problem, and I don’t know what to do about it.” He turned.

He looked back at Shannon. She just stood there in shock, touching her swollen lips. “What just happened?” she whispered.

He opened the door and walked out.

“Da da!” Matthew tried the new word, bouncing up and down on Matt’s lap, giggling. He was now crawling and trying to walk.

“That’s my boy. Say Dad-dy.” Matt laughed at his son. “Pa-pa.”

Karen came in the room. “Hi, Matthew.”

He looked up at her and
began
crying.

“He doesn’t like me. That’s why I don’t touch him. Every time I touch him or talk to him, he cries,” she said.

“Because you don’t even try, Karen. He doesn’t know you.” He
left
the family room.

She followed him. “I tried.”

He turned around and tried to hand her the baby. “Hold him.”

After a few seconds of staring at the baby, she took him. “Matthew, you’re getting so big.” She held him away from her.

Matthew looked at Matt, stretching his hands out for him. “Da-da.” He cried when Matt didn’t take him.

“Here he goes again.
Take him
.” As though he were a rag doll, she placed the baby in his arms.

Matt
held
him, and he stopped crying. “Yeah, you’re really trying.”

“I do try! All he does is cry.” She looked at him, agitated, rolling her eyes.

“With you, because he senses the same thing I sense—dislike,” he said, kissing him.

“I’m going out!”

“What’s new?”

“I need some more money. I’m getting my nails and hair done.”

“Karen, that’s all you do: spend money. Instead of spending time with me.” He sat down.

“Whatever, Matt. You said you’d take care of me. That means giving me anything I want, remember?”

“I don’t recall saying those words. I don’t mind taking care of you, but you take it to another level. You’re running me dry. What do you do all day, Karen? When are you going to find a job?” He looked over at her. “When we met, you had a job.”

“I don’t need to work. You make enough to support us both, and him.” She grabbed her purse, yelling, “I’m leaving!”

“Leave!” Matt yelled back. He was getting tired of the way she treated him, and his son. “Maybe it’s time to let go.” He
said playing with
Matthew. “What do you think?”

“Dada!” cried the baby with a laugh.

“I can’t get Shannon off my mind.” Matt took another shot of tequila, swallowing slowly. “She’s beautiful, intelligent, independent, funny, a great mother, and she cooks and cleans
.
”

Andrew laughed. “What? Did you just notice this?” He drank some water, letting his brother drink his sorrows away.

“No, she’s everything a man would want in a woman, but she always said she didn’t want kids, and that’s why I never pursued her.” He
took the shot glass in his hand studying it
. “But look at us now. We have a gorgeous baby together. I could’ve had it all if I’d known. Instead, I’m married to an emotionless, selfish woman. All she does is spend my money, Andrew.” He took another shot. “She doesn’t clean, cook…nothing, man. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t expect her to do this because she’s a woman, but fuck, what does she do all fucking day? If she worked, I would understand.”

“What does she do all day?”

“Good question. Milk my bank account. Shannon, on the other hand, works and still goes home, cooks, cleans, takes care of Matthew, and she also finds time for that fucking guy.”

“You’re talking about David. I saw her at lunch with him. She introduced him to me. He seems like a nice guy. They looked very cozy.” He placed his arm over Matt’s shoulder.

“Fuck him. I can’t let him have what’s mine. Because she might not know it, but she’s mine.”

“She’s not yours. You’re married, dude.” Andrew took the glass away from Matt.

“She’s mine. That night she became mine. I felt it when I kissed her.”

“You did what?”

“I kissed her a few months ago, and it never felt so right,” he said, get
ting
serious. “I love her.
La amo
.”

Andrew was stunned when he heard his brother say he loved Shannon. He had never heard him say he loved any other woman, not even his wife. “You’re fucking married.” Andrew got up, helping Matt off the stool. “I’m taking you home. Tomorrow you won’t remember anything you just said.”

Matt g
ot
his cell phone and dialed her number.

“Matt, what’s wrong? It’s after midnight.” Shannon answered.

“You’re mine, Shannon!” he yelled into the phone. “Mine!”

Andrew grabbed the phone from him. “Sorry, Shannon, he’s drunk. Go back to sleep.” He hung up. When he looked over at Matt, he was passed out. “You married the wrong woman,” he whispered.

It was Matt’s weekend with Matthew, so Shannon and Sherry had gone out to dinner.

“I think I love him.” Shannon
said above a whisper
.

“You think you love who? David? So soon?”
She asked
taking a drink
.

“What…no.” Shannon also took a big gulp of her wine. “Matt.”

Sherry almost choked on her food. She
cleaned
her mouth. “Thank God you finally noticed it. I saw it years ago, but you wouldn’t listen to me.”

“I just thought we didn’t want the same things. Matt has all the qualities I wanted in a man, except he wanted kids
, a
nd I didn’t.
” She smiled,
thinking of all the changes in her life.
“
Look at us now. I can’t see my life without my baby, he’s everything to me.” She
took a bite
of eating
her dinner. “He kissed me.”