Holding On (33 page)

Once the paramedics got there Sadey
was starting to come around.  This isn’t the first time I have
seen her like this but the last time was only because she had the
flu.  I’m not naive enough to believe this is the flu and this
thought has me sick with worry.  

They take all of her
vitals and I can hear them talking to each other and I mentally
berate myself for not paying attention to anything other than Dr.
McSteamy when watching my weekly shows.  If I had only
listened more closely I could probably be able to understand more
of what they are talking about.

Paramedics approve me to ride along
with Sadey, who is now awake but confused so she can’t tell me what
happened.  I can guess she passed out, but she was out for a
while which is what is making me so nervous.  I ask if she
wants me to call Hem, but she really is so out of it I’m unsure she
understands what I would be calling him for.  The young male
paramedic started an IV back at the house and the female is talking
to hospital now giving them all of Sadey’s vitals and information
so they can get started in helping her upon arrival.

“
Honey, I am going to call
Hem.  I know he would want to be here but remember he’s gone?
 He and Shame will be back tomorrow sometime though,
okay?”

“
He’s at the house honey,
he was in the shower when we left Mace and I think you’re just
confused.”  She has so much confidence when she says this and
I can’t take that away from her.

“
Oh, alright.  Well
then he will be with you once he gets dressed then.”  That’s a
lie, but I won’t be penalized for that later.

I need to at least text him real quick
before we get there, I don’t want to leave her and if I talk to him
on the phone in front of her she may get upset that he’s not here
yet.  Probably best to send a message to both Hem and Shame so
in case one doesn’t look at the phone the other will, better be
safe.

*ME:  Sadey and I are
in route to Memorial.  Found her unconscious in bathroom and
called 911.  Hate doing this over text Hem, but you should
know.  

I put the phone away so I can
concentrate on Sadey.  We have arrived at the hospital and
they are preparing her to exit the ambulance.  She’s visibly
trembling now so I think she’s finally comprehending that this show
is for her.  

“
Mace, what’s happened?
 I’m scared.”  She’s also sweating.  Her shirt is
drenched at the neck and her face has beads of sweat
everywhere.

“
Hi there.  Welcome
back to us, Sadey.” I say in a gentle voice as I brush the matted
hair falling in her eyes.  “You went away for a little bit so
I was giving you some time.  I’m right here and we are okay.
 I texted Hem so he knows where to find you.  I’m not
sure exactly how you got there but you were on the bathroom floor
when I found you earlier.  How do you feel now?”

“
I’m just tired I guess
but I feel like I’ve already slept all night, Mace.  Is Hem on
his way?  I don’t want him on his bike if he’s upset, worried
and anxious.  Can you call him so I can talk to him, please
Mace? Just for a second I promise, I just want to hear his
voice.”

She knows we aren’t to call them when
they are on a ride, it’s a distraction they don’t need if its club
business but I can’t refuse her when she’s terrified and I know Hem
is the only person to calm this situation for her.

“
Yes, let me call now.”
 Pulling my phone back out of my purse as they start to wheel
her in through the ER doors I open it up to call Hem but I have a
text message from Shame.

*SHAME:  Sweetheart,
what the hell is going on?  We are leaving here in 15 minutes,
just wrapping things up and the rest can wait.  Hem is out of
his mind right now.

*ME:  Sadey wants to talk to him.
 Do you think that’s possible?  I mean, since you’re
wrapping up? I don’t want him upset on ride home so maybe if he
talks to her he will be in better mind frame to ride.

My phone rings and its
Shame.  I don’t let it even finish a ring before I answer. He
doesn’t say hello, just gets right to the point. “Just easier to
talk then text, yes you know you can call for emergencies baby, let
me get him and put him on the phone.”

“
Shame wait, I... I
just...” Words aren’t coming because I’m still lost in his
endearments.  Even after I left him there with his heart
spilled out all over the ground, he still loves me.  I can
hear it in his voice.  

“
Yeah?”

“
Thank you.  You’re
being so nice after… and I probably don’t deserve it so thank you.
 We will be friends again I have faith in that, but just so
you know, I appreciate your kindness right now.”

He pauses, I can hear him
breathing and he wants to say something but then I hear a shuffle
and then I hear one
very
pissed off Hem.

“
MACE WHAT THE FUCK IS
GOING ON WITH SADEY?  I’M SICK WITH WORRY. You send those damn
texts then I find you sitting here chit chatting with your boy.
WHAT THE FUCK?”  He’s screaming so loud that although I’m
standing by Sadey’s gurney and she’s laying down with her eyes
closed, she can hear him loud and clear.  She immediately
tries to sit up but her IV bag pulls on her and the medic pushes
her back down explaining it isn’t a good idea to try to move
yet.

“
MACE! DAMMIT ARE YOU
STILL THERE?” Crap this man is roaring and it’s blowing out my
ears.

“
Here Hem, talk to her.
 She’s alright and she’s right here.  Do not fucking
scream at her, do you hear me?  Get hold of yourself before
you speak because you’re going to freak her out more than she
already is you animal!”

He calms and I can hear
the worry in his voice. He’s just as freaked as we are and he’s 500
miles away. “Yeah I know.  I can do that. Sorry, please put
her on. I’m worried here, Mace.”

I don’t respond to his
apology I just hand over the phone to Sadey who sits on the line
and before she can speak I can see that Hem feels her presence on
the phone.  She’s laying down and I hear him speak to her
softly as her eyes roll in the back of her head in relief to just
hearing his voice.  This scene is tugging at my heart because
I want what they have for Shame and I, but it isn’t possible.
 I need to walk away before I cause an emotional scene.
 

I tell the Medic to let
her have my phone as long as she needs it.  They can work
around her, hell it’s probably easier to work around her while Hem
keeps her calm.  I lean down and kiss her temple wet from
sweat, and I signal I’m going for a drink.  She gives a half
smile to me, still lost to Hem’s voice.

Turning towards the hallway out of the
ER I come face to face with another very pissed off male in her
life.  

“
JESUS CHRIST WOMAN I AM
SO FUCKING PISSED AT YOU!  YOU CANNOT CALL ME, WAKE ME FROM
SLEEP AND SAY THAT SHIT THEN HANG UP ON ME!.  WHAT THE FUCK IS
WRONG WITH YOU, WOMAN?”  A screaming Ace, shit.  Like my
ears didn’t just hear this same damn spiel, words nearly exact.
 How the hell am I the bad guy for just wanting to inform
these people?  Damn!  

“
Oh hell
no.  Calm the hell down and get a grip,
Ace
.  I was in kind
of a hurry considering my best friend was on the floor, I had just
gotten off the phone with 911, and I was already second guessing my
decision to call you when you answered like a fucking boor.
 Excuse me for getting to the point you asshole!”  Yeah,
I’m pissed at the world and Ace is the current port for
relief.

He stops and grips the
bridge of his nose with two fingers. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
 You’re right. Where is she though?  What happened?
 She okay? Where are they taking her?  Have you called
him?”  Holy crap Ace, slow down!  

“
Stop stop stop.  Let
me talk for a second.  Yes, she’s alright as far as I can
tell.  She’s already here, they are working on her now acting
like there is no immediate danger but I’m no doctor Ace, so I can’t
tell you much more.  I found her on the floor in bathroom.
 The him you refer to, I assume is HEM and do not be around
her or even talk in front of her with your snarky attitude.
 She’s talking to him on the phone now.”

“
Have they left?  Are
they on the way back?  Mace, I have a bad feeling.  I
want to see her.  Take me to her.”  He’s really sick with
worry, but this isn’t anything from him I haven’t seen before
regarding her.

“
Fine, but you have to
promise me and I mean it.  Really promise me that you won’t
upset her, talk to her about your feelings, or upset Hem when he
gets here whenever that happens.”

“
Stop wasting my time!
 All of those things you need a ‘promise’ for, well they all
would end up with her hurt.  I would never hurt her and you
know it!  So take me to her now, please!”

Gees, he’s right.  Now I feel
bad. Doesn’t matter because I’m the best friend I have to protect
her from those around her sometimes and now is that
time.

They have already admitted
her for observation and moved her to her own room.  Ace and I
walk in and the doctor is talking to her.  He’s asking her so
many questions so that they can start to pinpoint how this
happened.  She’s sitting up and she has some color in her face
now.  My phone is on the bed so to get it out of the way I
reach for it but she grabs my hand tightly so I can’t take it
back.

“
Can I keep it for now?
 I’m waiting for Hem to call me back.  He promised he
would call me every 60 miles or so.  He knows I’m worried.
 I don’t have my phone, Mace.  Is that okay?”
 

“
Of course it’s okay.”
 Finally she sees Ace behind me.  She moves her head
around me so she can see him better.  I don’t know if they
have seen each other since that night but if not, she’s going to be
shocked.

“
Your hair.  Oh my
god, Ace.  You have hair.  Brown hair and lots of it!
 C’mere and let me touch it.”  Even sick, she’s such a
little nerd.  

Ace walks to her slowly
never breaking eye contact with her and he’s smiling the cutest and
shyest smile I’ve ever seen on him.  She seriously turns this
man upside down and inside out.  My heart hurts for him, I
know what it’s like to want someone in such a way but they don’t
want you back.  Again, this loneliness and fear is eating at
me. I know this isn’t about me but I miss Shame so
much.
He
walks right to her without hesitation and with his size he takes up
the entire side of her bed. “Heya Sadey bug.  How you feelin’?
 You look fine to me.  Were you being dramatic so you
could ride in a car with lights flashing?”  He’s grinning at
her in attempts for her to relax and of course, it’s working.
 

How in the world this woman can be
effected by two men that are so opposite I will never know.
 Goes to show though, not all women have a specific type when
it comes to a man.

“
I’m better now.”
 She grabs his hand that is resting at his side.  I see
him try to retract it quickly but her touch affects him and he
can’t resist.

“
I’m so glad you’re here.
 You look good and not just your hair.  I was worried
after, ya know, that maybe you wouldn’t heal this much so fast but
you have.  I’m glad.  I’m sorry for what happened.
 You can’t talk to Hem like that.  He and I are together
now, Ace.  He doesn’t mistreat me at all, I promise.
 Thank you for standing up for me though, even if I didn’t
need it.”  

She takes his hand and
brings it to her mouth and kisses it.  Ace’s legs start to
give, I can see this. His face studies her lips as they stay on his
hand longer than expected.  God, the woman is torturing this
man.  She really truly has no idea how he feels about
her.

Quick thinking leads me to
slam a chair that is just out of his reach into the back of his
knees to catch him.  He looks to me and nods in thanks and
sits next to her bed.  She keeps hold of his one hand with
both of hers now, his hand sits in the middle of hers while resting
on the bed.  Shit, now I’m really sad for Ace. I even feel
like I’m being tortured and I’m only having to watch
this.

“
So, other than gathering
some information from you, have they said anything about what they
think caused this?”  I say, trying to keep the room busy with
conversation.

“
No.  Doctor Rude
wants to take blood still.  They need to take my blood
pressure every hour because it seems to be very ‘erratic’.” She
uses air quotes and rolls her eyes as she enunciates the doctor’s
words.  “One time they take it then it’s too high, then next
time it is too low. I think their machine is broke.”  She
sounds educated, it’s funny because I know my BFF watches as much
of McSteamy as I do and as little of the actual program as
possible.

Ace has been watching her
intently, hanging on every word and making sure she’s done talking
before he says anything again. “Good.  I’m not leaving okay?
 I can sleep over there on the couch if I get tired but I’m
not leaving you.  Or I can sleep in this chair and you don’t
have to let go of my hand so you’re not scared.  Mace can take
the couch because I’m sure she’s not going to leave me alone with
you.  I mean, you know, she’s not going to leave you.”
 

Nice catch you dumbass but
hell no I’m not leaving you alone with her, even if the sad sap is
chained to a bed with tubes and machines.  Hem would kick both
our asses, you are still on probation with him pal.