Four Doors Down (28 page)

I look away from her and stare at the ceiling.

“He seemed, I dunno, pretty worked up. Annoyed. Upset, even.” I still don’t say anything; she sighs loudly. “Are you gonna tell me?”

I can feel myself going red, and for the millionth time I wish I didn’t always blush like a ten-year-old. “I kissed him,” I practically whisper the words.

Her jaw nearly hits the floor. “You did what?” Her face lights up with excitement.

“I know, I know, it’s so stupid. It was just after I found out about Charlie. I was really upset and he was being nice to me, and I just…” I break off. She’s grinning from ear to ear.

“This is awesome!”

“Are you kidding me? This is Ryan Jackson I’m talking about. The guy who loves to torture me. He’s gonna tell everyone how I launched myself at him in desperation, and I’ll never be able to set foot in school again.” I look up at the ceiling in despair.
Why me?

Sam’s brow furrows in confusion. “Don’t you think if he was gonna do that, he’d have done it already? It’s been, what, four days?”

“He’s probably just biding his time. He would have done it in the cafeteria in front of everyone if you hadn’t cut him off.”

“It all makes sense now. To me, it looked like he just wanted to talk to you. Then got mad when you wouldn’t.”

I sigh. “Trust me, Sam. He’s waiting for the right moment to humiliate me. I should have just got out of there, but I froze.”

“What was all that stuff about Charlie? You’re not getting back with him, are you?”

“No! I have no idea what that was about.”

“Have you even spoken to him?”

“No. Well, he came around here a couple of days ago, but I told him to leave. I don’t want anything to do with him.”

“Maybe he saw him outside your house? Maybe that’s why he said it?”

Maybe that’s right, maybe that’s why he thought I was getting back with him. That would explain it. Still, that’s no reason to humiliate me in front of everyone. What does it matter to him anyway?

“I hate him,” I tell Sam. I don’t hate him, I know that. But to be honest, I’m not exactly sure what I feel about Ryan right now. Everything is so confusing.

Sam looks at me for a moment, then crosses her legs like she’s about to make an announcement.

“Did you ever wonder why Fran Cunningham never came after you when you confronted her over Kylie?”

I pause thinking back to that day in freshman year. I’d been so angry at the way she had treated Kylie and for the way she mocked her that I reacted and called her out for the bully she was in front of all her friends, all the most popular kids in school. Sam had been with me. She’d been furious and had actually lunged at me, but Ryan had at some point moved to stand next to me and stepped in front of me, stopping her from getting to me before Jake pulled me away. Later that night when the adrenalin had worn off, I’d started to worry. Fran wasn’t a girl that you messed with and I knew she’d find a way to get back at me, to make me miserable but nothing ever happened. She looked at me like I was dirt but that was it and then she graduated later that spring. Of course, I’d wondered at the time why she hadn’t come after me, but I hadn’t thought about it in years and figured she’d just suddenly grown a conscience. I shrug at Sam.

“Well, I did. I swear I was waiting for months for her to come at us. So I asked Jake at the start of sophomore year. When Jake was dragging us away from her that day and Ryan stayed and we saw him talking to her?” She pauses to make sure I’m listening. There’s no need; I’m hanging on every word. I remember that day clearly, while Jake had been trying to get me to calm down and go home we’d turned to find Ryan standing with Fran in deep conversation, the rest of the crowd also listening to him. “Well, apparently he was making it crystal clear to her and everyone else there that if she went after you, she’d be going after him.”

She pauses while she lets this news set in. All I can do is stare back at her.

“Then he told her that if she did go after you, he’d go after her. Think about it, Becca. Ryan was a freshman. Yeah, he was popular, but it’s not like it is now. Fran was this senior and he didn’t know who’d take his side, if everyone would turn against him and go after you regardless, but he didn’t care. He made it clear that you were to be left alone and he made sure you were. That’s why Ryan and Jake and all those guys were there the next day when we got to school. Not to watch Fran kick your ass but to make sure she didn’t.”

I let this sink in for a moment, thinking back to that day and the anger I’d felt and the fury that I knew was coming my way from Fran. I’d gotten to school and found her waiting for me, along with what looked like half the student body probably waiting to see me get my ass kicked, but Ryan and all his friends were there too. They’d been watching her, waiting for her to react. At the time, I’d thought it was because they were there to watch a fight. Sam couldn’t be right, could she? Ryan had been there with all his friends to protect me and make sure I was safe? It makes sense now, why Fran never said anything. I try telling myself that Fran went too far and that’s why nothing ever happened afterward. Everyone was too disgusted by her actions, and even though I know part of that is true, I can now see the other side. Ryan laid down the law. He came to my rescue, back when I refused to even look in his direction.

“Why didn’t he say anything?” I eventually ask.

Sam shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess he didn’t want you to feel indebted to him. It’s no secret the way you feel about him. He probably didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

I open my mouth to respond. Then close it again. I have no words right now.

“Look, don’t kill me, but have you ever wondered why he goes out of his way to mess with you? Like you’re on the other side of the room, nowhere near him, and he’s surrounded by people and the center of attention, yet he singles you out, trying to get your attention?”

I screw my face up. “I’m just lucky, I guess.”

“I mean it, Becca. Look, remember I went to that football game a while back? Well, I swear he kept looking up at us in the stands throughout the game. I think he was waiting for you to show up. Then at the party afterward we walked in and knew no one. I mean, we knew people, but that’s not our crowd and no one really spoke to us. We just stood there like idiots until he noticed us, and even though he was surrounded by people, he came right over to say hi and introduce us to people.”

“Yeah, I’m not saying he’s not friendly Sam. At least not to other people,” I mutter.

“It was weird. As soon as he came over, it was like it was okay for everyone else to talk to us and suddenly we were socially acceptable. That guy has some serious power.”

“Yeah and he’s about to use that against me,” I point out.

“He stayed with us for a while, kept looking at the door. He didn’t say anything, but I knew he was waiting for you.”

“Oh come on! Wasn’t that the night he first hooked up with Jessica?” I say incredulously.

“He didn’t even look at her until Erica let slip that you were out with Charlie. I dunno. After that, he seemed pissed, started drinking and then disappeared with her.”

“You’re way off Sam,” I insist.

“And that’s the reason you guys had that huge fight after dodgeball, isn’t it? He was mad at you for not showing up?”

“Who told you about that?” I ask quickly.

She rolls her eyes at me. “Come on, Becca, everyone knows about it. I just didn’t say anything because I knew you wouldn’t want to talk about it.”

I groan again. I didn’t think it was public knowledge that Ryan was mad at me for not going to the game. But of course, everybody knows about it. It involves Ryan, doesn’t it?

“You’re wrong,” I state decisively.

She sighs. “Fine. But think about it, okay? He protected you from Fran, he took you home after Charlie ditched you, he bought you all that candy just ‘cause he remembered you like it, and he’s literally always at your locker.”

“What are you saying?”

She looks at me like I’m stupid. “He likes you, Becca. I’ve thought that for a long time now, but I never said anything because I thought you hated him.”

I nearly laugh out loud. “You’re crazy. I know Ryan, and that is not what this is about.”

“He asks me about you,” she tells me, smiling. “He has for years. Whenever we’re in homeroom. He thinks he’s being all subtle asking about my weekend and casually asking who I was with. Sometimes he drops your name, thinking I won’t notice. Sometimes I tell him stuff about you just to put the poor guy out of his misery.”

“Are you being serious?” She nods. My jaw falls open in surprise, but then I shake my head. “No, Sam. You’re wrong.” She can’t be right, the whole idea is ridiculous.

She nods and stands. “Okay, if that’s what you say. But I don’t think I’m the only one who thinks he’s into you. Especially not after today.” She grins at me before walking toward the door. “I’ve gotta go. Will you be at school tomorrow?”

I nearly snort. “What do you think?”

She just rolls her eyes at me and leaves the room. I bury my head in the pillow, trying to get today’s events out of my head and work out how I’m going to tell my parents that I have to switch schools. But what I focus on more than anything is trying to get that damn kiss out of my head.

M
y mom has her “no arguing face” on. I bite my lip. She can’t make me do this.

“Rebecca Louise McKenzie! I do not know what’s been going on with you this week. I know you’ve not been sick, even though you’ve taken two days off school, but you will go upstairs right now, put some makeup on and the dress I have bought for you and you will come to this party with us. Kathy and Bill are very dear friends of ours and I will not insult them by leaving you here at home.”

Shit, shit, shit.

I turn hopefully to my dad, but he looks even more annoyed with me. “Now, Becca.”

Oh God, how could I have forgotten about Bill Jackson’s fiftieth birthday party? It’s all mom and Kathy have talked about for weeks. If I’d remembered, I could have just made sure I was out at Sam’s and not come back for it. Crap!

I slowly stomp back upstairs, cursing the day I was born. Oh man! It’s not just going to be Ryan I have to deal with tonight, but his whole freaking fan club will be there. His mom said she’d told him to bring friends. This is not going to end well.

I finally make my way downstairs, my dad looking pointedly at his watch. My mom turns to me in annoyance but breaks out into a smile when she sees me. “Becca, you look beautiful.” My dad grins in agreement with something like pride in his eyes.

“Thanks,” I mumble. Okay, so I made an effort. A big effort. I curled my hair and pulled it over to the side. I’ve made my eyes look all smoky by lining them with kohl eyeliner and the dress my mom bought for me is stunning. It’s a shimmery silver color that clings in all the right places, and the green of my jewelry brings out my eyes. Finally, I’ve added platform heels to give me some extra height. If Ryan’s going to ruin my life tonight, I might as well look good while he does it.

We exit our house and walk the hundred yards or so to the Jackson residence. You can already hear the music playing. There’s a huge tent built in their backyard and tons of people milling around. I lag behind my parents, still hoping for some sort of miracle that will excuse me from this party. The look my mom shoots me tells me I’d better get moving.

We enter through the front door, a man in a waiter’s uniform smiling and holding the door for us. Wow, they really are going all out. I look up and the entire Jackson family is standing just inside greeting everyone. My mother and father rush forward to hug Bill and Kathy. Ryan looks up and does a double take when he sees me. Clearly he wasn’t expecting me to come.
You and me both, Ryan.

Lisa looks over at me and practically squeals. She rushes over to hug me. “Becca, you look absolutely stunning.” She gives me a tight hug and turns to her brother grinning. “Doesn’t she look great, Ry?”

He looks over blushing and mumbles something under his breath before turning away. Lisa grins at me wickedly and gives me a wink.
What was all that about?

Bill and Kathy come over to say hi, each gushing about how good I look, and Bill makes me promise to dance with him later. Hey, maybe I should make an effort with my appearance more often.