Forgive Me (24 page)

She's got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me
of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by
Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine

Guns N' Roses Acoustic Slash and Myles Kennedy

Chapter Twenty Six

FOUR WEEKS LATER

Shamus

“
I swear to God woman, I will not let Carrie rip my ass if we are late. It is the only thing I wont protect you from. Get a move on!” I yell down the hall of her apartment, where she still lives until the end of the lease which is next week. We went house hunting two weeks ago and found a small cottage in Gig that we like and one we need to renovate the shit out of. My reason 109,873 reason I love Cassa Rae Stapleton? Because she wants us to fix it all, or at least what we can do safely. Where money isn’t a matter to me, it is to her and she wants us taking the time making it ours. I was in the minute she said ours that had me agreeing like a dope eyes dipshit.

I am smart though in those moments and I use those moments often to press home the fact her safety is key.

“
Well until it is ours baby, you are still BFF’s with Drakes guys got it?” I asked her the night we chose the small cottage.

“
I don’t need goons on my ass at a fucking grocery store Shamus.” She snarled and it seemed these days I loved fighting with her perfect bratty ass. She had become the defiant little shit I remember. She had a few moments, some set backs that came naturally but instead of running from me, she ran to me and explained her fear. She was the strongest person I know. Only my girl could make Noah look like a pussy in comparison but never ever tell him I said so.

“
I am not about to even argue on this babe. Hard limit this time. I can bang that cottage out with the best security money can buy and even then I don’t know if I’ll feel completely content with you being there alone with
fucktard
always around the corner, but ill feel a shit ton safer knowing the ‘goons’ are lurking in the event Cory is too!”

She melted back at that because she knew the bottom line and that was always safety first.

Right this minute though, safety was key and it was Carrie who would have our asses if we didn’t get the lead out. Right then Sassy came down the hall and I lost my breath.

In a flowing pink dress of some crazy ass material that hugs every single inch of her sweet body and some high heels that made her legs everlasting. She took my breath away.

“
Fuck your unreal baby.”

“
Perfect storm?” She asks with a laugh the comment I made about being with her. She is twirling in a circle so I get the entire sight locked in, a small squat bouquet of pink roses in her hand.

“
Perfect fucking storm.” I say and pull her to me because I have got to touch this woman.

“
Don’t start Shame, we need to go.” She reminds me as my hands are roaming what I now know the smoothest fabric I have ever felt. I'm a guy and I know shit about fashion, unlike my lady love here. However Carrie made sure all the dresses flattered the girls, almost nine month pregnant Roni too. Cassa’s dress showed off a big portion of her tat because the dress dipped extremely low in the back. I pause and trace the thought back and stand back from her body, turning to view the back of the dress.

“
Where is the rest of this dress?” I ask now completely freaked because I can see the dimples in her spine it’s that fucking low.

She laughs and slaps my shoulder and grabs the keys from the counter not bothering to answer that dying fucking question.

“
Let’s go.” She says instead and winks at me before leaving me there stunned as her beautiful artsy back disappears from my sight.

Yeah
…well… this isn’t over yet.

*

Cassa

I watch Carrie turn around in a flowing, sleek white satin gown. The topless masterpiece she found accentuates every damn curve the girl has. She wears her hair down, for Chad because he loves how it smells. We all know this because he is vocal as shit about it. She is wearing a single floating diamond necklace around her tanned neck and single carat diamonds in her ears. Candey walks in with the small 1940’s era veil that is fish-netted and go’s to the chin. A black orchid, Chads favorite flower, holds the head piece together and makes us all gasp when Candey places it to one of the two barrettes holding Carries hair back from her face.

I have only ever seen her this happy a handful of times. When Chad sang a country song to her live at a show, when she announced her engagement and pregnancy simultaneously to me because I had purposefully and foolishly missed the event, and when she holds Noelle.

Today however, she is radiant and I am drying my eyes as Noah clears his throat from the hallway.

He knows better than to barge in this one and only time because we all adamantly explained in a way only women can, that seeing her was a surprise for him as well. What we decided would be fun was allow Mike, Shame and Cal in first.

What? It’s a rarity anyone can fuck with Noah. So as they say when the opportunity presents itself, take it.

Carrie
’s voice is strained from unshed tears as she says, “Come in.”

Cal walks in and smiles going to her to smile and he hands her a small box.
“From Chad baby-girl.”

Carrie looks at us as if we know what Chad is doing, but we are clueless too. Carrie opens the small card before the box.
“Something old baby.” Is all she says and then gasps when she opens the box, tears immediately falling from her eyes.

“
It’s the real ring.” She says and holds up her hand to show us all his grandmothers ring, the one he proposed with, the special one.

Us being girls all fawn over the sweetness of America
’s bad-boy turned sweetheart.

“
Welcome to the end baby-girl.” Cal says with a wink and hugs her closely laughing at his joke on marriage being the end. He hugs us all and stops at Tayla, who looks so fucking gorgeous it is clear Cal Dorian knows it. “Ill see you at the isle?” He asks in what I can only assume is a lust filled tone… what the?

She nods and rolls her eyes, a deep sadness in them that she doesn
’t even try to hide.

OMG!!!! It hits me and I hate that I cant badger her for the goods right this second
… but oh she is so not safe either.

My man is next and I gasp at Shame in his tux and chucks, with a black orchid on his lapel surrounded in pink ribbon. As all the guys are dressed, he is in all black with a bright pink tie and I am so in love, my stomach flutters at the thought that this will be us one day soon. He winks at me and walks to Carrie, fully aware that the wink he gave me made me hot as the sun.

“
From Chad to you gorgeous thing.” He says and hands her another box. This one is square and flat as a sheet of paper. She reads the card aloud again.

“
Something blue my love.” She lifts the envelope and gasps at the sight before looking to Shame for answers. “Noah did it last night and finished this morning.”

She holds the picture up of Chads back, his version of Oz and the emerald city is clear but it
’s the fresh new ink at the small of his spine that we all notice. It is a portrait of Carrie holding Noelle for the first time in various shades of blue ink. It is amazing how talented these guys are with a tattoo machine. It looks like a black and white photo that is aged.

At this I cry, for various reasons and for obvious ones. But mostly because it is true love and now it
’s on his skin forever. Shamus see’s me wiping tears from my eyes and knows I am happy but that it is and will always be a longing cry.

Carrie turns the photo over and chokes up completely handing it to Shamus who reads it and I see his eyes glisten.
“Carrie girl. You gave me the gift of a poem on your back, a gift I cherish, a gift that gave us Noelle. That gift is love baby, you loving me and I can only repay that love by showing you mine in my way, and that is you and my sweet baby girl. Your love for me is on your back, in the simplest place, and so now mine is to.”

We all cry at this and I feel bad because when it comes to romance, well, Chad is untouchable.

Shame kisses me on the cheek, then the neck, then holds me close because he knows it is all I need. When he stops at Tay and hugs her, I hear him ask if she and Cal are okay and I swear to nut him later because he obviously knows way more than I do and has for sometime.

My brother enters and go
’s to Roni first who hands him something none of us knew she even had. A clue I guess that this is small in size, but either it is borrowed or new because of course we do things backwards most of the time. I’m guessing though that whatever Noah is bringing her it is why the saying is coming in out of order.

But then I gasp when she kisses him on the cheek because I know what it is. Mike walks to Carrie and hugs her tight before handing her the card first.

“
I’m giving this one to Mike to explain, but it’s borrowed baby.” She reads and smiles looking to Mike.

“
The day I married Roni, Chad was the one to bring her this from me. It isn’t extravagant, and it’s a whole lot cheesy but it was us and what it means to us, is no different than what you mean to him.”

Mike hands Carrie the sweet silver bracelet with a small silver heart charm that hangs by the clasp that he bought for Roni on the day of their wedding. “I told her she always had my heart dangling from her hands and so it was fitting.” Mike says and shrugs shyly as he clasps it around her wrist.

We all know who is coming in next and you can see Carrie is past the point of emotional breakdowns because Chad like always has one upped her.

It is a rarity that we leave in a private moment because we are family and we are loud and nosy, and so none of us are willing to leave when there is a chance at seeing Noah soft without Noelle in the mix. And it is Noah who walks in with his hands in his pockets, his hair perfectly disheveled and a look on his face that is all pride and a large amount of sadness.

He makes his way to Carrie, his gait the swagger that says it all about him. Noah is all control all the time and he makes no excuses for it here. He commands the room even when he is silent, it’s a simple look he gives that says he knows more about everything than you ever will.

“
Sissy, you look like you got some place to be.” He says and smiles. Carrie lets her tears fall now.

“
Yeah.” She sniffles and hugs her big brother and her very best friend. “I gotta hurry.”

Noah sighs and holds her close rocking her in a way we all rock Noelle and sway side to side.
“Always in a hurry to grow up… lets chill for a second and play a game yeah?” He asks and she cries burying her head in his neck.

“
Today,” he says and his voice cracks so we all know that he is hurting letting her go. “Today this world is new and it is one that we have never done before.”

He pulls back and looks at her, his own eyes glistening with tears and rimmed in red as he does his thing, builds a world in a safe place against all the twisted shit in this world.
“You are here, happy. Happier than I have ever seen you. You are dressed like a model and so fucking pretty that I’ll want to gut Chad for what I can guarantee the pervert will be thinking when he see’s you.”

I smile as does Carrie, at Noah
’s words. “In this world we are never what we were, victims of hate. This is a new world Sissy, where we are loved and cherished and taken care of. It’s because of this world I can give you away today, to a pervert, but one that loves you like he loves life. You are his life. You are the music in his soul and the one thing he needs to be complete.”

He stands back and lets out a low whistle through his teeth as he walks around her until he comes full circle and smiles.
“I love you so much sissy. You are by far the one thing that kept me going for twenty-six years. I fought for you, cried for you and I take pride in the woman you are because I helped you become this woman. You are all heart Carrie and it gets you hurt from time to time but it’s just who you are and I am honored to have been the man in your life for the last twenty two years, and sad to know that you have grown up.

“
We were in such ugly things when we were kids and it followed us for years, but through it all you were the one constant thing that made me happy. Now you make me an uncle, marry one of the brothers I have claimed and accepted me for all the ugly I have and loved me regardless. Seeing you smile and shine I think I did right by you sissy.”

How he can say all of this and not let a single tear fall, even though we all see them swimming in his eyes and catching in his voice he is stoic and strong like always.

“
If I were a song right this second it would be,” he pauses and looks at the room of people watching him spill his soul to his sister. “It would be sweet child of mine.” He leans in and kisses her cheeks. “I love you Carrie. Trust me yeah, you’re going to be happy forever.”