Flawless Surrender (15 page)

*****

The funeral was like any other, awkward and somber. The reverend did his best to make Eve sound like a pillar of society, but everyone in attendance knew the truth. Zoey saw it on their faces, and felt it in their plastic offers of condolences.

A junkie didn’t deserve any better, and if Eve had been proficient at nothing else in her life, she was one hell of a junkie. Zoey looked around the masses of black but didn’t see her father’s tall, lean form anywhere. Knowing that he didn’t even bother to show up for Eve’s funeral made her feel like an orphan.

Thankfully, Rachel and her men had offered up their home for the luncheon after the service. Zoey wasn’t sure she could have handled having all of those people in the Keegan home when everyone was just finding out about her and the three brothers relationship. She could barely handle the curious looks right now with everything else.

By the time people started to trickle out of Rachel’s home, Zoey felt like she had been bulldozed a few times. Every muscle in her body ached—her head being the worst. Finding a quiet corner had been impossible, until she wandered into Juliet’s nursery. Just as she was beginning to relax, the little girl woke and began to fuss softly.

Needing comfort herself, Zoey scooped her up and held the baby to her shoulder, hushing her and inhaling her sweet scent deeply. “Shh, don’t cry. I promise everyone is leaving now, so you can rest, Jules.”

It could have been just a few moments, or it could have been hours that she rocked in the rocking chair with the baby in her arms, sleeping peacefully. All she knew was that for the first time since the phone rang with the news that her mother was in the hospital, she felt at peace.

She stared down into the angelic face of her best friend’s child, thanking God that Rachel had found her happily ever after, and that Juliet would never feel unwanted. She would grow up in a home with parents who doted on her, and wanted nothing more than her happiness. In that quiet moment, Zoey prayed that someday she too would find her own happily ever after. With children that she could dote on, and give all of her heart too. Hopefully with the Keegan brothers, but they hadn’t had a whole lot of time to talk since everything happened.

Like her thoughts had called out, Clint’s head poked into the doorway of the nursery. “Hey, angel, oh I’m sorry, angels.”

He dropped to his knees at her side and stroked his fingertip over Juliet’s tiny hand. Zoey’s heart clenched as the baby girl’s fist did. When her eyes met Clint’s he was smiling.

“Feeling any better after a time out?” he asked, and Zoey felt her eyes widen. “Oh yeah, we all knew where you were. Tanner has been guarding the hallway since you came in here, refusing to let anyone disturb you. I had money on Rachel if Juliet here started fussing because there is no way the Skipper is tough enough to take on that mama bear.”

“I was a little overwhelmed,” she agreed, returning his smile at the mental image of her petite best friend taking on her muscular lover.

Clint nodded, “Yeah, I figured. Everyone is finally gone, so we can head for home if you want.”

She wasn’t fast enough to hide her reaction from him, and he frowned at her in confusion. “What is it, honey?”

“Rachel’s mom went back to Oklahoma a couple of days ago. I don’t have to stay at the Triple T anymore if you guys need some space,” she said hesitantly. The instant the words left her mouth she regretted them. Clint’s face drained of blood and his mouth dropped open in confusion.

“Zoey, I thought—”

She shook her head, and fought to hold in her tears. “I don’t know. You guys have been so standoffish, and I’m so emotional, and I just didn’t know what you were thinking. Are we still a thing?”

“Oh fuck, angel. If we had known… Look at me, Zoey.” He stared deeply into her eyes, cupping her cheek, “I’m so deeply in love with you, that I don’t remember who I was before I fell for you. And I don’t want to. Yes, we are still a thing! In fact, we three guys want us to be a permanent thing, but that’s a conversation for another day when you’re not so overwhelmed. Today, you’re going to give me Juliet, and you’re going to go out and say goodbye to Rachel and her husbands, so I can take you home and put you to bed. You need rest, and time. Once you’re feeling better we’ll revisit this conversation, and I have no doubt Tanner will spank your ass for ever doubting how we feel.”

The tears that refused to fall for her mother in the last few days finally released as Clint followed through with taking Juliet and putting her in her crib before he enveloped her in a hug. She lost track of time, but when her tears finally slowed, Dalton and Tanner were both in the room too. All three of them held her as one, letting her fall apart and grieve.

“That’s it, kitten, let it out. Don’t hold it in, I know from experience it hurts even more if you do,” Dalton breathed into her ear.

Tanner’s fingers ran through her hair, petting her and consoling her as she soaked Clint’s dress shirt with her tears. Words began tumbling out of her mouth, and she couldn’t control them. “She never wanted me, but I loved her. She fucking stole money from me, lied to me, cheated me, ignored me, but goddammit, she was my mom and I loved her. I never wanted her dead, but now she is and I can’t do a damn thing about it. And the worst part is that I never got to tell her about you three before she was gone. The best thing in my life and she never saw it.”

Zoey heard another sob in the room and lifted her head to find Rachel wrapped in Parker and Hudson’s embrace as she cried with her. “Zoey, she loved you too.” She couldn’t respond to Rachel’s words, all she could do was nod. “Your mom was proud of you, I know it. Any mother would be.”

It was as though Rachel’s words breathed strength back into Zoey’s lungs, and she edged out of her men’s arms to embrace her friend in a much needed hug. “Thank you, Rachel, for everything. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have survived childhood, or been strong enough to walk away and build my own future. It’s because of you, that I found these guys.”

“Oh, girl, you don’t have to thank me. Just seeing you find happiness is all I’ve ever wanted for you. Let them take you home and take care of you. We’ll talk soon.”

Zoey let Dalton lead her from the Brooks family home and out to his old suburban where he helped her into the front seat, even buckling her seatbelt. She felt like a broken doll. Her limbs didn’t seem to be attached to the rest of her as she limply stared out the window watching Tanner and Clint climb into Tanner’s old red pickup truck.

When Dalton started the truck music blared from the radio, and she let herself drift with the painfully somber song by Pink. It soothed something inside of her, as she wanted answers to some of the same questions the song asked. She realized she embodied the song’s words, not broken, just bent. She would move forward, with her three cowboys at her side.

Tanner would continue to worry about the ranch, and providing financial support for his family, while Clint worried more about the emotional health of those around him, and Dalton spent his days caring for their physical forms. It was a perfect triad, and somehow she was lucky enough to fit in their center. She knew in her heart that their future would have hurdles, but who really got to walk a flawless path to happiness?

When they drove through the gates of the Triple T, she felt the heaviness leave her heart. This was her home, and these three men were her future. Flaws and all.

“Clint Jackson Keegan, don’t you dare!” Zoey threatened as Clint tried to fondle her breasts from behind. They stood at the front door waiting as Tanner parked the suburban and helped Lance and Nina Keegan from it.

“Aw, don’t tell me we can’t have sex just because mama and pops are here,” he groaned and she giggled.

“I didn’t say that, but we sure as hell aren’t messing around in front of them. Now, come on, you have to introduce me.” She tugged on his arm, but he just looked at her like she was crazy.

“You’ve talked to mama on Skype every freaking week for a month making wedding plans, and you’ve known her since you were a little girl. Why would I have to introduce you?”

Rolling her eyes, she looked to Dalton for help. “I just mean you have to go with me to introduce me as your intended bride, you goof. Unless you’ve changed your mind?”

Both men growled at her, and simultaneously pushed her out the front door onto the porch. Dalton was the first to step into his mother’s embrace as she rushed the porch. “It’s good to see you, Mama.”

Nina had tears in her eyes when she pulled back and kissed Dalton’s cheek, “My, you look so handsome. I’m glad you’re home for good, son.”

Clint stepped up next and accepted the same greeting before tugging Zoey forward. Nina gave her a brilliant smile as she embraced her. “Zoey Carson, you are even more beautiful in person. I can certainly see why you stole my boys’ hearts.”

Zoey felt a blush creep up her cheeks as she accepted a hug from Lance too. “Thank you. Did you guys have a good trip?”

Lance shrugged, “I never consider commercial airline travel good, but it was alright. The place looks great, boys. When will the remodeling be done?”

They all entered the living room, and Zoey offered drinks and cookies to her future in-laws as they took seats. Clint took their luggage on up to the apartment over the garage, while Tanner filled his father in on the remodeling plans.

Nina turned to Zoey with a bright-eyed gaze and she couldn’t help but notice the similarities between her and Dalton. Nina’s blonde hair was pulled back in a clip, but her dimpled cheeks and brilliant blue eyes looked decades younger than she actually was. “So, dear, are you all ready for the big day?”

“No, I still have some shopping to do. I have had to wait until last minute because Clint will sneak a peek if he thinks I have presents hidden,” Zoey answered, sipping her wine. When Nina looked at her funny, she laughed, “Oh, you mean the wedding! Oh I’m definitely ready for that. All that’s left is picking up the flowers and the guys’ tuxes.”

Nina’s happiness was nearly tangible as she reached out to hold Zoey’s hand. “I’m so glad you four decided to have the wedding while we’re here.”

“Of course, Nina, we would never have left you guys out.”

“I’m just so excited to see my boys married, and on Christmas Eve no less. Tell me, what can I do?”

Zoey laughed at the woman’s enthusiasm. “Figure out how to hide me from those three tomorrow, because they haven’t seen my wedding dress, and I want them to be surprised when I walk down the aisle.”

Her future mother-in-law nodded, “And how are you holding up, sweetie? I know this is your first Christmas without your mom.”

Zoey shrugged, “Not exactly, I mean, mom and I weren’t ever close. I’m managing. The guys have kept me distracted, and so has my new job. Keeping up with the backlog of cases the State of Texas has has been a challenge. There are so many kids out there in need.”

“It breaks my heart to think of them not having family to spend Christmas with. I remember wishing I could steal you away from your parents’ home and bring you to spend Christmas with us, if I had known how bad it really was, I would have. You were always such a sweet child. I’m so sorry I couldn’t do more to help you back then. No one should have had to live in those circumstances.”

Zoey shook her head, “If you had, then everything would be different. I’m happy with how my life has turned out. I have three men who love me to death, and a family of friends. I feel extremely blessed.”

“You’re right. We all have to experience a little of the bad in order to accept the good with gratitude when it comes our way. Now, let’s call Rachel Brooks and see if we can come up with a plan for tomorrow. Maybe you should stay the night over there tonight?” Nina’s words had no sooner left her mouth, than all three Keegan brothers growled and protested. Zoey laughed as her mother-in-law took charge of the herd of men like a general, and before long, Zoey was packing an overnight bag for her best friend’s house.

Tanner drove her to Rachel’s against his own wishes, but Zoey promised him a reward for his sacrifice after the wedding. The next twenty-four hours passed in a blur of nervous energy and happiness.

Zoey walked down the makeshift aisle between hay bales to Carrie Underwood singing “I’ll Stand By You.” Tears weren’t necessary to express the emotions that rippled through the foursome, as they pledged their love and loyalty in front of the glowing tree as the sun set. The glow of the fireflies was extended by the hundreds of candles and torches that surrounded the small gathering.

Rachel stood holding Juliet behind Zoey surrounded by the four Brooks brothers and Mack and Ryker Thompson. Dottie dabbed at her eyes with a tissue next to Minnie and Walt White, and Lance and Nina. There was no need for anyone else. Everyone who was important to them was there, and the moment seemed more intimate because of it.

As Zoey repeated her vows with Tanner, making them legally married, and then pledged her commitment to his two younger brothers, she felt the cool Texas winter breeze brush over her face blowing her black hair out behind her. In that moment she knew her mother was there with her, and proud of her. For despite her own flaws and weaknesses, Zoey had managed to grow into a strong woman whose love was bigger than one person.

It was as though accepting herself allowed her mother to be at peace, and the last lingering fingers of doubt that had held her heart, released. No matter where she was in her life, she would never forget where she came from, but her past wouldn’t define her future. She would begin a new life this Christmas with her new family and more love than she ever dreamed possible.

The End

“Blowing Smoke”: Kasey Musgraves

“Truck Yeah”: Tim McGraw

“Demons”: Kenny Chesney

“Boys Round Here”: Blake Shelton and Pistol Annies

“Other Side”: Jason Derulo

“Your Body”: Christina Aguilera

“Hard to Love”: Lee Brice

“Just Give me A Reason”: Pink featuring Nate Ruess

“Not Strong Enough”: Apocalyptica featuring Doug Robb

“I’ll Stand By You”: Carrie Underwood

Listen to the playlist at: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLS3MfHRLVKw1UVuhs6y4NhfH6FlKQP8hU