Flawless Surrender (9 page)

“I won’t ever make that mistake again, Zoey.” Dalton’s voice had dropped a couple of octaves so it was low and growly, and it skittered over her already aroused body like fingers. “Just give me the signal, and I’ll have you naked and spread before you can take a breath.”

Her lips parted on an exhale as his words slammed into her brain. This was what she wanted, right? She could allow herself to be seduced into a fling and not feel guilty about it because they were both adults. Dalton’s head tipped and one eyebrow rose questioningly, but as she rose up on her toes for a kiss, Tanner walked back into the room.

“What is going on?” Tanner snapped harshly.

To her surprise, Dalton didn’t let her go, instead he just shifted her to his side so he could turn to face his older brother. “Nothing now, but if you would have been a few minutes longer you might have gotten a show.”

Clint’s voice called out that supper was ready, breaking the tension, and thankfully both brothers let the conversation drop. Tanner stormed through the living room ahead of them, and Zoey looked up at Dalton warily.

“Don’t worry, love, that’s just a bit of jealousy. He hasn’t had any competition for your affection until recently. He’ll come around.” Dalton gave her a gentle nudge and she led the way into the dining room.

Everyone took their seats silently and Clint gave them all a funny look. “Okay, what did I miss?”

“In a nutshell? You kissed Zoey, then I almost kissed Zoey, until Tanner interrupted and got jealous. Now she is second guessing herself, and I’m a little bummed that I didn’t get my kiss in before he interrupted,” Dalton said without even lifting his eyes from where he scooped lasagna onto his plate.

“You got your kiss last weekend,” Zoey said petulantly, and then instantly regretted letting the words fall off her tongue. Tanner’s jaw flexed, and Clint’s eyes went wide.

“Wow. I didn’t figure Dalton would be the first,” Clint said with a shake of his head.

“He wasn’t,” Zoey whispered, staring at Tanner.

Now all eyes were on the oldest Keegan brother. Zoey wanted him to speak up, but he stayed stoically silent, leaving his brothers to their imagination. The deep crease between his eyebrows and the quick jump of the pulse in his throat signaled his discomfort, and Dalton and Clint turned to her for answers. Seeing their curiosity, Zoey shook her head and stared down at her food. Clint had taken her plate and served her the moment they took their seats, and per her normal request he had only given her half of what he and his brothers took, but even that looked enormous. Her mouth tasted like sawdust, and her stomach felt like it was full of lead.

It was clear to her that Tanner didn’t want news of their kiss shared. Was he ashamed of her? What was the rose and wine for then? Suddenly she felt ridiculous. For just a moment, she thought that maybe all of this meant something. Her heart melted at the knowledge that these three men might genuinely care about her in some small way, and then Tanner had to go and fuck it up with that one look.

Shoving her chair back, she gave Clint a shaky smile, “Thank you, Clint, for cooking dinner tonight. I really appreciate it, but I’ve suddenly lost my appetite.”

She didn’t wait for a response. She just grabbed her wine glass, and made a beeline for her room. There was nothing more to say. Tanner wanted her, but only if he could have her in secret, and it killed her to think that he might be ashamed to be with her. Sure, she was the daughter of the town’s biggest junkies, but she figured she had overcome the judging and horrific pitying assumptions.

After all, she had gone to college. She had gotten her goddamn master’s degree for fuck’s sake. Just who the hell did he think he was? She was absolutely good enough for him. In fact, she was too good for him. Her spine stiffened as she resolved to stop caring so much what Tanner thought. It seemed like she just continued to let him hurt her over and over again until she was nothing but a self-conscious mess.

Well, no more. She was done feeling sorry for herself, and letting someone make her feel less than adequate. If Tanner didn’t see her worth, then perhaps Dalton or Clint would, and she couldn’t wait to see his reaction when he realized she had made her choice.

Throwing herself on her bed and scooping up her book, she refused to let the tears fall for Tanner again. Too many times had she let him make her feel small. This time, she was going to overcome those doubts, no matter what.

An hour later she was engrossed in a BDSM story, and she had completely relaxed, letting go of her tension. Her heart lurched when someone knocked sharply on the bedroom door.

She hesitated a moment, and then set her book aside to answer it. To her surprise Tanner stood in the hallway with a plate full of food in one hand and her rose in the other.

“Tanner?”

His golden eyes looked wary, but he stood tall under her scrutiny. “I came bearing gifts, and an apology.”

The reminder burned and she crossed her arms over her chest. “No thank you.”

“Zoey, please. Let me come in for a minute and say my piece.” She couldn’t remember Tanner asking so sweetly for anything before, and indecision welled up in her chest. “I know I hurt you, but I didn’t do it intentionally. I want a chance to make it right.”

Pushing the door open, she stepped out of the way and let him into the bedroom. He put the plate and rose on the bedside table, and then took a seat on the bed. She saw him take note of her reading material and swallow hard. His whole body seemed to tense as he reached out and picked up her open book. Refusing to cower or be embarrassed of her choice in novels, she tried to assume an air of indifference as she took a seat next to him and retrieved it from his hands.

“You wanted to talk, so talk.”

For just a moment, she saw heat in his eyes before he put it aside and reached for her hand. “I’m not ashamed of you, Zoey. I know that’s what you thought, but it’s not true. I’m ashamed that I took advantage of your situation.”

“Took advantage—” Her temper flared, but Tanner pressed a finger to her lips stopping her from blowing up.

“You’re in my house because you needed help. Not because you wanted to be accosted every waking minute. My temper got the best of me the other day, and when you asked me to kiss you, well, I didn’t use good judgment. I had hoped that you would be able to put it aside and forgive me, but when you brought it up tonight I knew that I had hurt you.”

Zoey stared at him in confusion. “You didn’t want to kiss me? What was all of that crap in the truck about wanting to fuck me?”

For the first time ever Tanner’s head dropped and he didn’t look her in the eye. She tried to tell herself the uncomfortable twinge in her heart region was just a belly ache from lack of dinner, but the longer he was quiet, the more painful it got. Reaching out a hand, she placed it on his thick thigh in a silent attempt to encourage him. He stared down at it for a moment before he placed his big hand on top of hers and laced their fingers together.

“I’m not good enough for you, baby. As much as I want to be, it just can’t happen that way.” His voice was quieter than usual, and her mouth dropped open in shock.

“You’re not good enough?
You’re
not good enough? For me? Have you fallen off your horse recently, cowboy?” Caught between being confused, pissed, and elated, she struggled to find the right words. “Tanner Keegan, I have wanted you since I was a teenager. Back when I was skinny, pimply, and awkward. But every time I have offered, you have slapped me down. Now you’re trying to get me to buy that it’s because you honestly believe you aren’t good enough? Who the fuck is going to be good enough for me, Tanner? Do you think I’m so shallow that I need a millionaire, or a movie star?”

“Hey, I’ll be your movie star!” Clint’s voice piped up, and Zoey fought to keep from grinning at him as he leaned against the door jam.

“I’m not a millionaire, but at least I wouldn’t reject you, pretty lady.” Dalton appeared behind Clint, and Zoey rolled her eyes at the pair of them.

“Can’t you two give us a few minutes of privacy?” Tanner snapped, glaring at his younger brothers.

Dalton shook his head, “Nope, not when it involves all of us, and someone we care about. We’re all four going to have to talk it out if this relationship is going to work.”

If Zoey hadn’t already been sitting, she would have dropped to the floor in shock. “Relationship? What are you talking about?”

The two younger Keegan’s moved into the room, Clint stood in front of her, while Dalton took a seat on the other side of the bed behind her. She stared up at Clint who took her free hand in his, she was surprised to realize that her other hand was still gripped by Tanner.

“They are just being assholes and trying to piss me off.” Tanner’s tone had changed, and she could tell he was really upset at the intrusion.

Clint shook his head, “No, we’re trying to be honest about our intentions with the lady. Just because you’re too chicken shit to admit you want her, doesn’t mean we are. Angel, I know you and I are just getting to know each other, but—”

Zoey jerked her hands away from both of them, and stood up abruptly. “No.”

“No?” Dalton said, while Clint just looked stunned. Tanner’s eyes narrowed on her and he crossed those muscular arms over his big chest waiting for her to explain.

Taking a shaky breath, she moved farther away from the three of them. Did they even know what seeing them on her bed did to her? It was like all of the air had been sucked out of the room and she was feeling hot and slightly claustrophobic, so she began pacing. “What I mean is no, we’re not having this conversation. I like you guys, and you already know what you do to me when you kiss me.” She took a moment to make eye contact with all three of them. In their own ways they each looked masculinely smug. “But I won’t be the cause of a divide in your family, and I won’t settle for anyone who can’t be honest about what he wants.” This time she glared at Tanner pointedly. He had the decency to look a little ashamed, and she felt empowered.

“I’m only here for another week or two, so let’s make the best of it and part as friends. No more pissing on my leg for each other’s benefit because I’m no one’s territory, got it?” She waited for each man’s nod before she smiled, “Besides, just because it’s temporary doesn’t mean it won’t be fun.”

Clint’s face spread into a wide grin, and Dalton’s eyes took on a wicked glint. Tanner’s previously smug and arrogant persona was gone, in its place was fury and contempt. “Are you saying you will fuck us, but you won’t date us?”

“Tanner!”

“Fuck that man!”

Zoey stared him down silently while his two brothers blew up on him trying to protect her honor. When they had blown off their steam she stepped closer to where he stood next to the bed. “No. Years ago I offered my body to you, and you turned me down flat. I promised myself I would never do it again. This time if you want me, you will have to work for it, cowboy. So enjoy sitting on the sidelines watching your brothers have all of the fun.” She paused for effect, and then pointed to the door. “Now, you can all leave. I’m tired and I want to go to sleep.”

It was like the wall broke between them, and Tanner looked hurt as he stormed past her out of the bedroom without a word. Clint and Dalton exchanged a look.

“Zoey, it doesn’t have to be like this,” Dalton said softly, moving around the bed to stand on her right, while Clint moved to her left and ran his hand over her ponytail.

“Yes it does. I know you two think you know me, but you don’t know everything yet, and when you do, well…the point is that right now all I have to offer you is something temporary. Trust me, once word gets around the three Keegan men are back in town and on the market, you will be glad.” She let Dalton wrap her in his arms, pressing her face into his chest and inhaling deeply as she tried to control her emotions.

Clint moved in behind her and pressed a kiss to the side of her neck, giving her a gentle squeeze before she lifted her head again. “I disagree, angel, but I won’t push you. Tonight you better get some sleep because you have a date tomorrow with two lonely cowboys.”

She gave him a small smile, and accepted a sweet kiss from each of them before they left the room. Tears were running down her cheeks before she even managed to sink down onto the bed, and she grew irritated with herself. So much for not crying over Tanner ever again, this was turning into a routine.

Tanner Keegan wanted a woman who was a born rancher’s wife, someone who would stay at home and take care of his children while stroking his ego. Zoey knew what her flaws were. With her tainted blood, and career driven future, she certainly didn’t fit that bill. Her food grew cold on her plate, long forgotten as she cried herself to sleep yet again for the cowboy that didn’t want her for keeps.

Saturday dawned clear and warm, and Zoey allowed herself the luxury of sleeping in late. Of course, to anyone else eight-thirty a.m. wasn’t late, but in her book that was wasting half the day. The house was quiet as she fixed herself coffee and toast. Her thoughts kept circling around the brothers and their conversation last night.

She had to be completely honest with herself, there was no way to make everyone happy, so it wasn’t even worth trying. Instead, she would focus on enjoying the time she had with Clint and Dalton before she moved on. It wasn’t like Stone River was a mecca of the dating world, it could be years before she had sex again, so that was at the top of her to do list with the Keegan men.

Knowing that all three of them desired her sexually put an extra bounce in her step as she dressed and headed out to the barn. For the first time in years she was going to embrace her inner seductress and enjoy it.

Clint was in the barn working when she stepped inside. She took a second to admire the snug fit of his jeans, and the broad sweep of his shoulders from afar. He had settled right back into the ranching life as if he never left, and it suited him.

“Morning, cowboy,” she called out as she stepped over to pat a mare in the first stall.

His head came up and a wide grin split his face, deepening the cleft in his chin, and enhancing whatever it was that made him so damn attractive. “Morning, angel.” He dropped the crate of tools he was holding to the floor, and made a beeline for her. Just before he reached her side, he paused to check out her backside in her favorite pair of jeans. “Damn, you are one sexy woman, Zoey Carson.”

She cringed in her head when she heard herself giggle like a teenager. Did mature women planning to have an affair giggle at compliments?

“Thank you. What are you working on today?” she asked, feeling warmer when his hands found her hips and turned her into the cove of his body.

“Hmm? Oh, a little of this and a little of that, nothing so important that I can’t leave it for now. How about a little romp in the hay?” His eyebrows wiggled, and she caught herself before she giggled again.

“I was thinking more about going for a ride.”

Immediately she knew he had the wrong idea, but she enjoyed the way his face seemed to light up at the suggestion, so she didn’t correct it. “Oh, baby, you’re speaking my language now!” His head dipped as he kissed her breathless, pressing her back against the rough wood of the stall behind her.

It took every bit of inner will power to push him away and shake her head, “No, I don’t mean riding a cowboy, I mean riding a horse. I haven’t had a chance to refresh my skills, and I’ve been on the ranch for a week. Do you think Tanner would mind?”

Clint looked thoroughly dejected, “Am I so resistible that you would rather have a horse between your thighs than me?”

Zoey pressed a finger to his pouting lips. “Not a chance and you know it. However, I am not interested in a lecture from Tanner should he happen to catch us, and I am not a closet exhibitionist. I prefer my private life be private.”

Clint’s smile grew again, “Now that’s an answer I’ll accept, because ya didn’t say no. Come on, we’ll saddle up a couple of horses and explore the ranch together. Tanner has added some land to the Triple T that I haven’t gotten to check out yet.”

They were in the saddle in record time, and Zoey laughed along with Clint as he pointed out various spots and told stories from when the three boys were young. A little smidge of her was envious of their fantastic childhood. She had always dreamed about having parents who were responsible enough that she could be childishly irresponsible. Instead of swinging from trees and tipping cows, she was making herself dinner and dodging the bill collectors’ phone calls. In a quiet moment, Clint turned and looked at her carefully.

“How long have you been in love with Tanner?”

If she hadn’t been holding the reins in her hands she might have fallen out of the saddle in shock. “What?”

“After you went to sleep last night Dalton and I talked for a while. We both know you’re in love with Tanner, but we also know that you’re attracted to the two of us. Is it too much to hope that you might be open to a ménage relationship long term?”

Zoey couldn’t speak. She just gaped at him. Clint was the fun brother, not the serious one, but here he was asking her a very serious question. Forcing herself to continue breathing, she shrugged.

“Tanner and I have a history, yes. I’m not sure that I know what love is to be able to say I’m in love with him.” She was startled to see a glimmer of fear in his tawny brown eyes when she looked over at him. “I don’t know if a ménage relationship would work for the four of us. I really don’t know you and Dalton that well yet. I can’t say yes to it, but I won’t say no either.”

He gave her a reassuring wink, “That’s all I can ask for, angel. Give us some time to show Tanner that this could work.”

“Why are you so sure that it could? You’ve only been back in Texas for a week, and I don’t think you’ve even been into town more than twice yet.”

It was Clint’s turn to shrug. “I once asked pops how he knew that mama was the right woman for him, and he told me sometimes you just know. They met at a church picnic, and mama was already going steady with another guy. Pops says it was love at first sight for him and he wasn’t about to let her go without a fight. It took him six months to convince her he was serious about her, and four years of asking to get her to marry him.”

“Wow! Most people would have given up after four years.”

“What’s a few years when you have a lifetime ahead of you? Angel, I’m nothing but a broke down man who couldn’t make it as an actor. Just knowing you’ll consider me, makes me the happiest I’ve been in years.”

Zoey glanced at him warily to see if he was joking, but his expression remained serious. “I’m not sure I’m worthy of such adoration, Clint. I’m not exactly Miss America, and the only stories I can tell from my childhood are ones that involve mom getting high in the living room while I tried to study, or sleep. I never even knew where my dad was most of the time. Seems to me that trying to reach for your dreams, and failing, is a whole lot better than never trying.”

Clint stopped his horse, and his brown eyes bored into hers searching her gaze for something. “Angel, you couldn’t have uttered a more perfect phrase. I knew you were perfect for me.”

“Ha! You’re just getting to know me. Trust me, I’m not always an angel.”

A wicked glint appeared in his eyes as he laughed, “Good. I can’t wait to see you let the devil loose. I bet she’s a lot of fun.”

Zoey laughed with him, and brushed off his sensual teasing. “There are so many things about me that you guys don’t know yet.”

He observed her silently for a few moments, all hint of laughter gone from his eyes. “I remember you from when we were kids. I might have been five years older than you, but Stone River is a small place. Everyone knew about your family situation.”

She grimaced and then huffed, “Yep, everyone knew, and yet no one did anything to help me.”

“I wish I could have helped you back then. I remember seeing you walking home one day in the dead of winter without a coat and thinking you were a silly girl. I said something to my mama as we drove home, and she scolded me. She explained to me that not everyone had the same luxuries that I did, and fed me a heaping helping of humble pie.”

Zoey’s throat tightened, “You! You and your mama gave me that green coat didn’t you?”

Clint’s cheeks grew ruddy when he realized that he had given up his secret, and he had trouble meeting her eyes. “We went that night and bought it. Left for school thirty minutes early to make sure it was there for you to find.”

Zoey could remember that moment as if it was yesterday. It was late November and the weather had just turned seriously cold. She had outgrown her previous coat by a couple of years and it was so frayed and tattered it did her no good anyway. Each morning she spent twenty minutes trying to get just the right about of layers in order to avoid freezing to death on the two mile walk to school. One morning, as she walked out the front door with her books in hand, she was stunned to find a winter coat hanging on a tree limb in her front yard. It was hunter green and a small white tag hung from it like a price tag. Instead of an amount, it simply read, “For: Zoey.” Until this moment she had never known where it came from.

Biting back a swell of emotion, she smiled at him, “Thank you.”

He shrugged and winked back. A wealth of unspoken words passed between them, and Zoey barely managed to keep her tears in check. The whole way back to the ranch she held an inner battle with herself over whether or not she had led him on. It wasn’t as if she was super experienced at juggling multiple men, and in this case, she wasn’t even sure if she had two or three on the hook. But the more time she spent with him and his brothers, the more she learned about them, and the deeper her attachment grew to all three of them. How hard was it going to be to give them each equal pieces of herself, without losing her heart?

By the time they arrived back at the barn, it was lunchtime and the temperature had risen dramatically. Clint took her mare from her to unsaddle and she gratefully smiled and headed for the air-conditioned house.

A deep voice stopped her halfway up the porch steps, and she turned to find Tanner coming around the corner of the porch.

“Nice ride?”

“Yes, actually. I haven’t been on a horse for a long time, and it was great to see more of the ranch. You boys are so lucky to have such a beautiful place to call home.”

Tanner nodded, “Did he take you to see the glowing tree?”

“The what?”

“I guess that answers my question. It’s a special place on the ranch, but he might have forgotten about it. It’s been a decade since he was there. If you want I’ll show you sometime.”

Zoey stood there in shock. Was this the same man who left her bedroom pissed off last night? When he frowned at her hesitation, she nodded, “Yes, I would love to see it.”

His wide shoulders seemed to relax and he gave her a half smile. “I better let you get inside to cool off.” His eyes skimmed down her body taking in the sweaty t-shirt that clung to her breasts, and her skin tight jeans. Even from six feet away her skin tingled as if he had touched her.

When she couldn’t make her tongue function to speak, she just turned on her heel and bolted into the house, leaving him standing on the porch. She went about the motions of showering and changing, but no amount of cold water seemed to reduce the burning in her body. Hopefully tonight’s date would culminate in something more touchy feely than the horseback ride had.

Zoey managed to entertain herself for the rest of the day and didn’t see any of the three Keegan brothers until almost dinnertime. She was just about to search the cabinets for dinner supplies when she heard Dalton and Clint on the front porch.

The two brothers came into the living room, and her mouth went dry. They were both shirtless, bareheaded, and carrying their boots in their hands. Their jeans were soaking wet, with muddy hems, and they were laughing like hyenas.

“What on God’s green earth happened to you two?” she asked, planting her fists on her hips as she stared at the mess they were creating on the floor.

Clint snorted and looked to Dalton who just shrugged, “Attacked by the horse trough.”

Zoey nodded, struggling to hold back a laugh. “And I take it the trough won?”

“Something like that,” Dalton answered with a laugh. “We’re going to get cleaned up and then we can start our date, pretty lady.”

She waved him off, “No big deal guys, I can cook—”

“NO!” the two men barked it out in unison, and Zoey took a step backwards.

Clint cleared his throat, “What we mean is, no please don’t cook. We have the whole evening planned already.”

“Oh, okay,” she hesitated, feeling giddy with excitement that they planned something for her, and a little awkward because she really didn’t like to be surprised, “Should I change?”

A quick glance down reminded her that she was wearing a pair of yoga pants and an oversized t-shirt. Her toes were bare, because she had just painted the nails a pretty pale pink color, and she wiggled them a little.

“Only if you want to. We’re not going anywhere fancy this time. We want you to be comfortable,” Dalton said.

She gave him a smile, and he crooked his finger at her. When she shook her head, he huffed, “Zoey, come here. I won’t bite…unless you ask me to.”

A shiver skittered down her spine and directly to her clit and she almost moaned out loud. She wanted to scream “Yes” and jump him right there. He was already half undressed, so it wouldn’t take much to get her hands on the hard cock that pressed against his zipper. Finding her backbone, she walked across the room slowly until she stood just a foot or so away from them.

“And what if I want you to bite, cowboy?” Her nipples were throbbing against her t-shirt and she squeezed her thighs together to ease the pressure on her pussy.

Dalton groaned and grabbed her chin so she was forced to look him in the eye. “I really hope you do, but once I start I won’t be able to stop, so unless you plan on showering with me, you better just stick with a kiss.”

Zoey felt empowered to know that she had such an effect on him, and instead of a chaste kiss on his lips, she planted her hands on his bare chest and nipped his bottom lip. “I’ll skip the shower for now, but later…”

Dalton wasted no time. His fingers tangled into her long black hair, and he held her still so he could ravage her mouth. Seducing and overpowering her with a kiss. When he finally pulled away she was lying limply against his chest, and moisture had seeped through her clothing to her skin.

Clint tugged on her wrist, and Dalton released her reluctantly into his brother’s arms. “Since you’re already wet…”

Zoey moaned loudly just before Clint’s mouth descended on hers. He had to have known how she would take his statement, and she had no doubt the two of them knew what they were doing to her body.