Flawless Surrender (12 page)

Standing in the kitchen putting groceries away, Zoey had an odd sense of déjà vu as Tanner stood behind her watching, and waiting. Facing him was one of the hardest things she had ever done, but the anxiety on his face eased her own nerves.

Before she could speak, he held his hand out, “Come on, I know where we can go to be alone, and I want to show you something.”

Her heart skipped a beat as she placed her hand in his, and a flare of satisfaction lit his eyes. Just that little surrender to him obviously flipped his trigger. What would he do if she fell to her knees and begged him to love her? Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she lifted her chin, “Okay, but I need to let Clint know we’re leaving. He’ll worry if I don’t.”

Tanner’s head dipped, “Of course. I think he’s in the barn, so we can tell him while we saddle the horses.”

“Horses?” she asked in confusion.

To see the grin that split his face she would have ridden a horse across the country. “Yes, horses. That’s the only way to get to this spot on the ranch.”

She followed him out to the barn, their hands still laced together, and her heart racing. Clint was brushing patiently murmuring to an agitated mama horse when they came in the barn.

“How is she doing?” Tanner asked softly, and Clint glanced up in surprise, taking in their clenched hands with a raised eyebrow.

“Good. I think we’ll have a new one by morning.” Clint smiled at Zoey, “Hey, angel, did you get everything you needed in town?”

“Yeah, more than we expected.”

He stepped out of the stall and brushed a kiss over her lips, “Oh yeah, what else did you find besides groceries?”

“Minnie White.” She watched as his face registered the surprise.

“Oh shit. Where is Dalton, is he alright?” Gone was the playful teasing Clint she knew, and in his place stood a concerned brother.

Releasing her grip on Tanner, she stepped closer to Clint, and pressed her hand to his wide chest to ease him, “He’s fine. Minnie asked him back to their place to talk. It seems Dalton has been wrong about how they have felt all this time. He’ll be back later tonight. Oh, and he took the job from Doc, so I guess he’ll be staying permanently.”

Clint wrapped his hands around her waist, and swung her in a circle as he laughed, “I knew it! You are an angel! If it weren’t for you, none of this would have worked out.” His mouth captured hers in a passionate kiss that hinted at deeper emotions. Zoey chose to ignore the reciprocating flutter in her chest as she pulled away from him.

“You’re a goof, Hollywood.” She was giggling at him, but she stepped back to Tanner’s side. The tension in his shoulders seemed to relax a little when her hand slid back into his.

“So that’s how it is, huh? Leaving me to run off with my older brother?” Clint said. Tanner inhaled sharply, but Zoey could sense that Clint was just teasing her.

“Yep, but only for a little bit. Tanner wants to show me something on the ranch. You can eat leftovers if you’re hungry, or I will fix something when I get back.”

Clint’s eyes widened and a frown line appeared between them, “Angel, I have been handling myself for a long time, you don’t have to worry about taking care of me.”

She smiled, “I know, but I like to.”

“Well in that case, I’ll see you later for dinner.” Clint didn’t pull her away from the silent Tanner this time, instead he just stepped closer, pinning her between the two of them, and kissing her one more time like his life depended on it. She was stuck between two hard cocks based on the matching ridges behind their zippers, and she moaned with pleasure as her tongue danced with Clint’s.

When he finally released her, he met Tanner’s eyes with a cocky grin, “Take care of my angel, Skipper. I’m growing pretty attached to her.”

Tanner rolled his eyes and snorted before tugging her along behind him to the tack room to collect saddles for their mounts. As they rode out of the barn, Zoey caught a glimpse of Clint watching them from the shadows. He looked nervous and pleased all at once, and her stomach flipped over. This was it. No turning back now. She had to face Tanner head on—once and for all.

After about ten minutes of stewing over what to say, she got fidgety. The sun was almost set, and dusk was upon them. It would be much harder to ride back home in the dark, especially when she wasn’t a very experienced rider.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” she asked Tanner’s broad back with an irritated huff. He looked magnificent in the saddle. His button down shirt hugged his wide shoulders, and stretched over his flexing muscles, while his sexy ass fit the saddle perfectly. She imagined straddling him while he rode, and letting the rocking sway of the horse force his cock deep into her hot pussy. For just a moment her fantasy got the best of her and she faded out. By the time she was aware of her surroundings again, she realized she hadn’t even heard whether or not he answered. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

“That’s because I didn’t answer you, baby. You need to learn patience. Good things come to those who wait.” Tanner didn’t even turn to acknowledge her while he spoke, he just kept up the same even gate on his mount, like he had nowhere important to be.

“And you need to stop playing mind games. It’s getting old.”

She might have said more, but they had just topped a small rise and she found herself staring down into a dark hollow of trees. It wasn’t unusual to see a spot of trees on the ranch, but smack dab in the center of this cropping was an enormous tree that seemed to be glowing in the dark.

“What is that?” her voice came out a breathless whisper, as awe overwhelmed her earlier ire.

“The glowing tree,” Tanner responded, watching her as she took in the spectacle.

“Is the tree actually glowing?” She cocked her head and narrowed her eyes trying to determine the cause of the light. It seemed to be moving all around that one huge oak.

“No, come on, let’s get closer.”

Tanner nudge her horse ahead of his, and she heard him chuckle when she realized the source of the light. “Fireflies!”

Thousands of the tiny beetle bugs were blinking in the shadows of the oak and its cousin trees. They swarmed over each other in the air in front of the thick trunk, making it look from a distance as though the tree itself was lit up.

“I don’t understand. How is this possible? Why are they all here?” she asked, allowing Tanner to help her dismount.

He shrugged, “No one really knows. Pops had some students from the University down here running tests, but they never came up with a good answer. It’s just always been like this. Every summer in the evening at dusk you can come out here and find this tree all lit up like it’s covered in Christmas lights.” He caught one of the glowing bugs as it broke away from its friends, and held it cupped in her hands for her to see. “This used to be the site of an old well, which is why the trees grow so tall right here. There is plenty of water still under ground to sustain them. When they tested the tree, they estimated it to be about a hundred and fifty years old.”

Zoey stared up into the glowing ball of creatures in awe. It was a truly magical sight. The sun was barely peeking over the horizon, so very little daylight remained, allowing the bioluminescence of the bugs to be that much brighter. In fact, the greenish yellow glow didn’t just light up that one spot. She was able to see into all corners of the small circle of trees. At least fifteen oak trees formed a unique little hollow that allowed the magnificent spectacle to safely occur.

“Why have I never heard about this?” she asked, taking a seat in the grass to watch the fireflies dance.

“It’s not like this is easily accessible, and if we started broadcasting that it was here, everyone would want to see it. The Keegan family has always felt like it was our duty to protect it.” Tanner sat next to her, leaning his back against one of the smaller trees for support. “I know I hurt you the other night, and I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing by protecting you.”

Zoey turned to face him, biting back a sigh as the glow of the fireflies lit his face so that she could see his frown. “I know you weren’t trying to hurt me, but it seems like you’re always protecting me. Don’t you understand that I’m not looking for a knight in shining armor? I want a partner in life, but I want that person to be willing to stand behind me when I need to handle my own business. Sure, I want him to be willing to take up the sword for me if necessary, but that doesn’t mean he’ll have to.”

Tanner shook his head, “You can’t have it both ways. I’m a controlling person. I like things in my life to be neat and orderly, and—”

“And you have a strong sense of obligation and responsibility. All of those qualities are things that I love about you,” Zoey responded, laying her hand in his, and squeezing him. “What else is stopping you?”

Tanner remained quiet for several moments, and Zoey was afraid he wouldn’t answer. When he finally did, his answer surprised her. “I don’t know if I can share you.”

She stared at him in confusion, “Wait, you didn’t want me when I offered myself to you, but now that your brothers want me you don’t want to share me?”

“No! Yes! Fuck, I don’t know. Look, I think of myself as Dominant in the bedroom.”

Zoey’s laugh rang out, “Did you think I would turn you away for being bossy in bed?”

“Do you know what Dominant means? It means I have to have control of certain things, but it mainly means I want my partner’s complete trust and I want to protect and coddle her.”

She nodded, “Yeah, I know what it means, Tanner. I’ve read plenty of erotic romances, and I have a few submissive fantasies of my own. What I don’t understand is why you think I would turn you away for that.”

“I’ve gone to a local BDSM club with Parker to see if it suited me. It did in some ways, but the biggest thing that it taught me is that I’m not a lifestyle Dom. I like to play, and add elements of BDSM into my sex, but I don’t want anyone referring to me as Master, or expecting me to pick out her clothes.”

Zoey sighed with relief making Tanner laugh this time. “I’m glad to hear it, because I’m not sure I could call you Master without laughing.”

“Fuck, I’m making a mess out of this.” He jumped to his feet and began pacing. “Doms don’t share.”

“Why?” Zoey didn’t move from where she sat, but her body was quivering with nerves. Could she possibly make him understand?

“Why? What do you mean why? What kind of Dom would I be if I shared my woman with two other men? With my brothers, no less.”

She waited for him to turn and meet her gaze. “Do you think less of Parker for his choice to share Rachel?”

“No, but that’s different.”

“Uh, pot meet kettle. It is not different. Parker shares Rachel with his brothers because he can see how much she loves them all. He’s willing to do what’s best for her first and foremost. Have you ever even bothered to talk to him or Rogan, or even Sawyer or Hudson? They will tell you that they make time to be alone with Rachel as well as all together because that’s what she needs. Rachel has even gone to The Cage with Parker. They enjoy a little bondage and discipline play occasionally, but the other guys don’t as much.” Zoey stood and brushed the grass off her butt, “You know, at one time I thought that you were the strongest man I knew. The kind of man who didn’t take shit from anyone, and would always be there when he was needed. I need you, Tanner. I need you, Dalton, and Clint, but if I can’t have all of you, then I don’t want any.”

She spun on her heel and walked back to her horse leaving Tanner behind. It took her a couple of tries to get her foot in the stirrup because she was struggling to see clearly through the tears in her eyes, but once she did, she turned her horse and set off for the ranch house. She didn’t care that it was dark and she was alone, all that mattered was her desire to escape the pain in her gut. Her make or break moment had broken her heart into millions of pieces. Tanner would never let go of his ideals enough to even try.

A few seconds later the sound of a horse came up hard and fast behind her, startling her and her mount. Turning, she saw the hard line of Tanner’s jaw in the moonlight before he reached out and grabbed her reins from her hand.

"I'm not good enough for you, damn it. Don't you get that?" His chest heaved and she stared back in stunned fascination as he glared at her.

"What?"

"I'm a rancher, not some college educated doctor, or anything. I'm just a cowboy who works his fingers to the bone from dawn to dusk. I'm in the saddle just minutes after I swig a pot of coffee, and I fall out of the saddle when the hunger in my belly gets too bad to think straight. Occasionally I want to be able to tie a woman up, and spank her ass, or tease her until we’re both mindless. I want her to submit to me, and trust me with every ounce of herself because she knows that all I want is what’s best for her. You have to just stay away from me. I know you think that you want me, but you don't deserve this life, Zoey. You deserve so much more."

Refusing to be pushed away, she reached out and pulled the reins back into her grip, “What in the world gave you the idea that I needed a man with a college education to make me happy? And I will gladly let you tie me down and fuck me senseless, spank me, flog me, dominate me. Please! All I have ever wanted is for you to give us a chance. I've wanted you for years, and every time I've gotten close to you, you've pushed me away. Do you know what that does to a girl’s self-esteem?"

"I told you I never meant to hurt you. I was trying to protect you. I am happy for you and my brothers, but I can't get in the middle of it. Those two are what you need.”

"You’re right, I do want Dalton," Zoey said softly, and her heart clenched when Tanner's strong shoulders drooped in defeat.

"But I want you too, and for the record, I want Clint as well. Yes, I know that's stingy, and ridiculous, and maybe it all started out of pure jealousy over my best friend having four hot men—" A low growl rumbled out of his chest. "Oh shut up, they are hot, but not as hot as you three. Maybe I started out wanting to try a ménage, and ended up finding out that I need it too. I want all three of you. For the long haul, however we can make it work. I don't care if you're in the saddle six days a week, as long as at night you're in my bed, and on Sundays you make time for me. Don't you get it you jackass? I love you."