A Heart Full of Lies

Acknowledgements

First and foremost I want to thank God for the constant blessings in my life. Without you I am nothing. My mom, for giving me that extra push to follow my dreams when I was so close to giving up. My best friends for reading my “practice” books when we were growing up. That encouragement stuck with me throughout this whole process. To all my family and friends who didn’t give up on me when the tough got going. For those who I’ve disappointed, but showed me unconditional love. To all my readers who are giving me a chance as a new, up and coming Author, I appreciate the support! Last but definitely not least, to my Silver Dynasty family. Mercedes G. thank you for taking me under your wing and giving me the opportunity to fulfill my dreams. SDP, you ladies are the bomb.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my father, Russell Reed. I just want to make you proud. I love you!

A HEART FULL OF LIES

NIQUE LUARKS

Chapter One: When It Hurts

“I’m not about to play with you no more!” Erin threw the small metal wall decoration across the room like it was a baseball, aiming directly at his head.

              TreVell ducked just in time. “Man you tripping, I already told you I didn’t fuck with that girl.”

              Erin sucked her teeth, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Vell quit lyin’. You’re always trying to play on my intelligence, stop.”  She started taking shirts, underwear, tank tops, and socks out the dresser drawers. “You wanna keep fucking around, and lying to me? Got people talking about me, about us?” She made her way to the walk-in closet that they shared and began snatching clothes off the hangers. “I’m not begging you to be here. You wanna live a fuckin’ single life, staying out all night and shit. DO THAT! But you’re not about to do it with or around me.”

              She went for his shoes crying hysterically. This was by far the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. TreVell had selfish ways, and yes sometimes he didn’t appreciate her, but this was the love of her life, her first everything.  So why did he feel like a stranger lately? How did they get here? What happened to the happiness? Lately they argued about everything, he was rarely home and she was always crying. After long conversations with her mother and close friends, sleepless nights, and hours of contemplating, she’d decided this was the right move. And If not the right one, a smart one. For so long she’d followed her heart, it was now time to use her brain. She’d loved him, gave it her all, and it didn’t work. What else could she do? Erin knew she had to put her feelings aside and do what was best.

              TreVell interrupted her thoughts. “You want me to leave? Aight, let me get my own shit, I don’t need your help. Erin don’t touch shit else.” He glared at Erin daring her.

              She took a step back and watched him pack up his wardrobe as tears streamed down her cheeks. She hung her head as she felt herself getting angry, but she calmly asked, “Vell what happened to us?”

              TreVell ignored her question. Pulling out his cellphone and putting it to his ear, he mumbled a few words and hit end.

              Erin approached him, “Why are you ignoring me?” It was bothering her that this seemed to be tearing her apart, yet he was so at ease.

              TreVell grabbed his wardrobe brushing past her and then put the clothes that were on the bed in his bag. “I’ll come back for the rest of my shit.” He proceeded to lug all his belongings downstairs with Erin on his heels.

              “Don’t, I’ll bring it to you.”

              He shook his head as he walked on, “Do what you gotta do man. I told you I didn’t fuck her, you don’t believe me, and you want me gone? Cool I’m out, but I’m not coming back. I’m not doing the back and forth no more.”

              When they got to the bottom of the stairs she jumped in front of him. “The least you could do as a man is admit to your wrongs. For once, man up TreVell, can you do that?” When he didn’t answer she pushed him.

              He dropped his bags and snatched her up by her shirt. “Erin, don’t get fucked up. I’ve never disrespected you and put my hands on you, let’s end it on that note.” He forcefully pushed her back nearly making her fall over the large floor plant.

              Catching her balance she pushed him back with all her might, causing him to stumble backwards a little. Her blood boiling, she became enraged, “Fuck you! You don’t care about nobody but yourself. I don’t need you to be here, I got me!”

              TreVell picked his bags back up and continued out the door, putting everything in his 2015 royal blue Chevy Malibu. Closing the trunk, he went into his pockets, found his keys and started fumbling with them. Taking the house and Erin’s car keys off the chain, he handed them to her. “I’m not about to deal with this. Erin, you don’t need me aight, I’m out. But don’t call me for shit.”

              Erin kicked his car with so much power, there was a likely chance she’d put a small dent in it. “Like I said, fuck you!”

              TreVell watched her walk away with his heart beating at a rapid pace. He needed her to know that none of this was her fault; there were just some things he had to deal with as a man. He wanted her to know his decisions and mistakes weren’t a reflection of her love, it was him. But what was done was done, and if Erin wanted him gone, he would leave. He hoped she knew that meant for good this time.

              Erin laid across her best friend Sasha’s king sized bed flipping through the channels on the 60-inch flat screen television. “It’s nothing on.” She tossed the remote, falling flat on her back.

              Sasha, who was folding laundry reached for it. “I know, that’s how it usually is around this time of day.”

              Erin sighed, “That’s exactly why I’m always at work.”

              Sasha rolled her eyes knowingly, “No. You’re always at work because you want to stay busy, so you’re not alone. That’s why you’re always at work or over here.” Sasha stood to put the clothes up. “You’re just lonely, you should get a dog.  Shawn and I might get you one for Christmas.”

              Erin rolled her eyes, “I’m not lonely, I got shit to take care of and I don’t need any distractions.”

              “Girl please, these last four months you’re rarely at home. I know you and trust me I get it, but it’s time to move on E.”

              Erin sat up straight and frowned. “Sasha, if you didn’t want me over here, you could’ve just said that. But don’t be calling me lonely.”

              Sasha knew Erin like the back of her hand.  Close friends since the fourth grade, they were legally sisters in their eyes. She could read Erin when no one else understood and vice versa. Erin had always been the toughest out the group. She’d hardly ever shed a tear or voiced a complaint. Street smart and about her money, she’d been on her own since she was fifteen, but always managed to keep her shit together. She was mouthy with a short temper, but had a heart of gold. Her tough exterior masked her delicate interior; usually causing Erin to make bad choices based off her emotions. Erin couldn’t fool Sasha; the break up with TreVell had broken her. It had been almost five months, and every time he was brought up she’d shut down or switch the subject.             

              Sasha sighed, “Now you know that’s not what I meant. You don’t have to fake for me E, I know.”

              Erin huffed knowingly, “I know what you meant. The truth hurts but I needed to hear that. I’m just still getting used to this whole single lifestyle. You have no idea how many times I wanted to go back on my word and let him back in. But every time I get close to doing it, I remember all the lies, bullshit, and fights, and I’m over it. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to do it no more.”

              Sasha smiled, “I’m proud of you.”

              Erin flipped her hair playfully, “Why, thank you ma’am.”

              Sasha shook her head and laughed, “You think you hair is so cute, it’s not.”

              Erin grinned, “Whatever.”

              “It’s cute though, I see you.” Sasha went back to putting clothes up.

              Erin pulled her phone out. “Skyy texted me earlier saying she needed to link up. What’s up with her?”

              “Yea, I got that same text. I don’t know, I haven’t had a chance to talk to her. But you know Skyy, she’s probably in some drama, or trying to start some drama.”

              Erin laughed, “You right, that’s Skyy for you.” She continued going through her phone. “So I wasn’t going to say nothing, but you and Shawn good? Yall argument yesterday was heated. You see I hurried up, grabbed my shit and left.”

              Sasha gave Erin a defiant stare. “Girl I’m not worried about Shawn, he keeps pressuring me about this damn baby he wants. I’m not ready, and he’s acting like he can’t respect that. I’m not letting him have his way, so now he acting like a baby throwing tantrums and shit.” She sat down on the bed.

              Erin squinted. “What are you waiting on?”

              “The right time. I’m twenty-four years old. I still want to travel, see the world. Plus, I should be more independent. Shawn’s the only one working and I don’t want to feel like I need him.” She sounded irritated.

              Erin gave a confused look. “Yall can’t compromise?”

              Sasha scoffed. “Hell no, we can compromise when he puts a ring on my damn finger.  I’m not about to be nobody’s baby mama.”

              Erin agreed. “Yea, it has been six years for yall.”

              “I was seventeen, and here I am, twenty-four years old, and nothing to really show from him or this relationship. Now here he is demanding a baby from me. Erin I love him and all that, but I need more from him than just a baby.”

              Erin sucked her teeth. “This house, the cars, the vacations.  Bitch you don’t even have to go to work. Shawn’s a good man, give him some credit.”

              Sasha shrugged her shoulders. “Yes, he’s treating me like a wife, why not make me one? What, he doesn’t want to commit to me?”  She began ranting. “I want more than just a baby, I’ve nearly put my life on hold for him, and I want a fuckin’ ring.”

              “Sash-.”  Erin tried to intervene.

              Sasha cut her off. “I’m sorry Erin, but quit taking his side. What’s wrong with wanting to be married and then starting a family? I mean that is the traditional way.”

              Erin stood up. “Traditional? Girl please, you should’ve been thinking “traditional” when y’all moved in together and you gave the pussy up. I feel you on wanting a ring cause you deserve it, but don’t try to pull that “traditional” card bullshit on me.”

              Sasha played her off and began sorting clothes. “I guess.”

              Erin smirked, Sasha thought she was slick. Erin could see right through her best friend, Sasha wasn’t telling her everything. Erin knew Sasha loved, and would do anything for Shawn, so her stalling on having his child was definitely questionable.

              Sasha had always been a skeptical person. Anything she did, any decision she made, was pre-planned and well thought out before she actually did it. She’d always been calm and observant. Book smart and business savvy, Sasha dotted every “i” and crossed every “t”. She couldn’t get that off with Erin, never could. Erin knew she wasn’t ready to talk about it, but when she was she’d be right there to listen.

              Erin grabbed her purse and slipped her feet into her Nike sandals. She could sense Sasha wasn’t in the mood for company anymore and didn’t want to over stay her welcome. “I’ll call you later Sash, or if I talk to Skyy, we’ll call you on three-way.”

              Sasha poked her lips out and made a kissing noise. “Later.”

              Erin swung her hair and air kissed back. “Later babes.”

              They shared a laugh as Sasha called out after Erin. “Lock my door!”

              Not too long after Erin left, Sasha started cleaning the four bedroom home she shared with Shawn. As she cleaned, she looked back on the years and how far they’d come. They’d fell in love almost instantly. She’d met Shawn at a high school party, and they had been pretty much inseparable since. Shawn owned a dry cleaning business, thanks to his father who passed it down to him, and now had multiple stores in Missouri, Texas, Mississippi, and Georgia.  So he came from money, unlike Sasha who was born and raised in the ghetto of Kansas City, Missouri. His family always questioned her motives for being with him and she’d constantly fought with his mother who felt like Sasha was using her son. 

              She could recall family dinners at his parent’s house with his mother and his mother’s sisters damn near interrogating her and her background.  Shawn would have arguments and even complete fall outs with them for defending her and their relationship. She was constantly being called a “gold digger” and a “user”, and it didn’t help that she didn’t work. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to work and it wasn’t because she couldn’t work, it was because Shawn insisted that she didn’t.