A Heart Full of Lies (2 page)

              But there was no motive. There was no reason or ill-intention. The connection she felt wasn’t because of his money, and it wasn’t because of what he did for her. She loved Shawn and he loved her unconditionally. Yes, he’d moved her out the hood and gave her a better life so she appreciated him, not for what he gave her, but for how he treated her. He never gave her any reason to question his loyalty so she returned the favor. They’d talked about marriage and even looked at rings, but with recent changes in their lives, Sasha didn’t even know where she fit in anymore.

              Lately Shawn was always on the go, and up until recently their love was a force to be reckoned with. The late nights and lies were getting out of hand, and she felt like she was losing her grip on him. Shawn wanted a baby, but the way things seemed to be, she knew they weren’t ready. Financially, of course they were, but mentally and emotionally, Sasha was unsure they could raise a baby together.

              Sasha finished drying the last dish when the front door lock clicked and the door opened.  She braced herself for the argument she knew was sure to come, but put a fake smile on her face and welcomed him home. “Hey baby.”

              Shawn entered in with a balled up McDonalds bag and drink in his hands. “Wassup, I stopped and got something to eat.”

              She hid her obvious disappointment. “You could’ve called and told me that, I was just about to put something on the stove.”

              Shawn stared at her, “My phone was dead.”

              She glared at him, “Oh, really? You would think how busy you be, you’d keep a charger on you. I know you stopped by the office for a while; you couldn’t charge your phone there? You just bought a car charger.”

              He ignored the apparent attitude in her tone. Throwing the bag in the trash he proceeded upstairs with Sasha following close behind.

              “You could’ve answered the phone when I called, or at least called me back. You done already ate too, who were you with?” He laughed, irritating her more. “What’s funny?”

              He started undressing as they entered the room. “I’m tired Sasha, I don’t feel like arguing. I’ve been in meetings all day. After a long day of work I wanna be loved by my baby, is that ok with you?”

              She stood there watching him take off his jewelry and shirt and bit her bottom lip. She took in his 6 foot frame, muscular arms, smooth chocolate skin, and licked her lips. She figured he must’ve felt her staring at him because he stopped and looked at her.

              “What?”
              She slowly looked at him from head to toe and smiled. “Come here.”

              He grabbed the bulge in his pants. “You come here.”

              She began undressing slowly, removing everything she had on except her panties. She lifted her right breast to her lips and licked her nipple seductively, looking Shawn in his eyes.  She put her left hand in her panties and began rubbing her clit in a circular motion. She threw her head back and let out a soft moan.

              Shawn’s dick grew in his pants as he watched her. He stood there and admired her petite, yet curvy 5’3” frame. Sasha was a yellow bone, with a bad ass body. She was small but her ass was phat and round and her breasts were full. Eyeballing her, he made his way to her. In one swift motion he took her hands out her panties and picked her up.

              Sasha kissed his face, wrapping her legs around his waist. She started kissing him hungrily. “I see you came.”

              He sat her on the dresser and pulled her panties off. “Always.”

              Sasha sucked on his bottom lip, rubbing his dick against her clit. “Look how wet you got me daddy.”

              Shawn’s hard on grew as he let out a subtle moan. “Damn.”

              Sasha began nibbling on his earlobe and whispered. “You got a condom right?” She leaned back against the dresser mirror and looked him dead in his eyes menacingly.

              Shawn laughed. “You playin’.”

              She crossed her arms defiantly. “Sasha man, don’t start this shit you always wanna fuck up a nigga vibe.”

              She pushed him from in front of her and got off the dresser. “We’re not having sex without a condom and you know why.”

              Shawn sat on the bed then reached for his boxers. “If you’re going to bring the shit up every day, then why stay with me?”

              “Shawn, how do you expect me to act or be? I’m trying to cope with this the best way I know how.” Sasha fumed.

              “So you don’t trust me no more? Why continue to be with me if you’re never going to trust me again?”

              “I didn’t say-“

              “Sasha you don’t have to “say” because you’re showing me. You said you forgave me and we could work it out and move on, but I don’t think you do. I’m not saying just forget about it, but quit bringing it up, cause if you do that we’re never going to get past it. You’re starting to piss me off.”

              Sasha slightly jerked her head back. “Piss you off?” She let out a sarcastic chuckle. “I don’t care about pissing you off, making you mad, or hurting your feelings. Because from past experience you haven’t gave a fuck about mines. You cheated on me! You lied to me! You had a baby on me!” She felt the tears building up. “You hurt me, and I’m starting to piss you off?” She shook her head in disgust and stormed to the bathroom.

              Shawn spoke calmly. “What you want me to do Sash? I can’t take any of it back. Yes I have a daughter now, but we can make this work I promise.” He felt like he was begging. “All you gotta do is trust in me, just let me show you this can work.”

              He stood behind Sasha as she looked in the bathroom mirror at him. He rubbed her back, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. “I’m sorry baby. I’m so sorry. I’d apologize everyday if you wanted me to.”

              She laid her head back on his chest as he spread her legs apart.

              “You love me Sasha?”

              She let out a soft moan as he slid two fingers in her pussy. “Always.”

Chapter Two: Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe

              Skyy looked at the time on her phone getting agitated. It was going on five, and Erin, Sasha, and Jeanette hadn’t shown up yet. She hadn’t seen them in almost two weeks, and hadn’t spoken to them in almost one. Though it was such a short period of time since she had seen her friends, her life had taken a major turn. The need to vent was real and she couldn’t just vent to anybody, she had to talk to her girls, her sisters.

              She needed the upfront, uncut, raw, bluntness she knew Erin would give her. The motherly love, patience, and understanding she knew she would get from Sasha. Most importantly, the guidance, support, and helpful advice Jeanette gave. All so different, yet they looked out for her the same. Friends for almost a decade she trusted them with her deepest, darkest secrets, and knew they always had her best interest at heart. She had been keeping a secret though, not really knowing how to address it, or how to say it.

              Skyy heard murmuring coming from outside her apartment door, she took a deep breath and opened the door. “It took y’all long enough.”

              Jeanette walked past her. “We stopped and got food and drinks, is that alright with you?” she asked sarcastically.

              Erin entered behind her giving Skyy an air kiss, and then headed to the kitchen toting several bags. When she didn’t see Sasha she frowned. “Where’s Sash? Shawn wouldn’t let her come out and play?”

              Jeanette sat her bag on the table. “She’s coming, she texted me and said something came up.”

              Skyy sighed. “Good.” She looked through the bag Jeanette brought in. “Moscato? Really Jeanette?”

              “What? What’s wrong with Moscato?” she asked skeptically.

              “Bitch, it’s not strong enough for one, and two, you know that shit bloats my stomach.” she whined.

              Jeanette took one of the bottles out the paper bag and held it up like she was advertising it. “This is a mellow drink. Every time you have a drink it doesn’t have to be hard liquor, be classy sometimes. Your stomach probably bloats because you drink too damn much.”

              Erin poked her head out the kitchen. “Y’all want some ice? And why y’all always bickering, be nice.”

              Skyy laughed. “That’s Jeanette’s ass thinking she “classy” for some reason.”

              Jeanette frowned. “I’m not about to start with you tonight Skyy, whatever. You can get sloppy drunk by yourself, that’s not cute.”

              Erin entered the living with four glasses. Sitting them on the table, she plopped down onto the couch on her stomach. “She’s right Skyy, you drink too damn much.”

              Skyy sat on top of Erin. “No bitch, YOU drink too damn much.”

              Jeanette laughed. “Y’all BOTH drink too damn much.” Skyy threw a couch pillow, and Jeanette dodged it. “You missed hoe.”

              The knock on the door startled them all.  Jeanette got up to look out the peep hole, “Who is it?” she sang.

              They heard Sasha curse then state, “It’s Sasha.” Jeanette opened the door and Sasha walked in with an apparent attitude. “Y’all play too much.”

              Erin sighed. “Quit being so damn serious all the time.”

              Sasha ignored her taking her jacket off and headed towards the kitchen.

              Skyy hit Erin playfully. “You see she mad, leave her alone, you know she’s a Diva.”

              Erin pushed her off her. “She know I’m playing.” she yelled into the kitchen. “DON’T YOU SASH?”

              Sasha came back with bottled water and four shot glasses. “I can hear y’all talking about me, tramps.”

              Erin laughed. “Just give me my shot glass, what you got water for?” She reached for one of the wine glasses on the table and pulled out a Swisher Sweet cigar pack. “Sasha this is what you need, this is happiness right here. You always serious jones, lighten up.”

              Sasha plumped down on the love seat and kicked her tennis shoes off. “With the kinda fucked up day I’ve had? You’d be serious too.” She rested her head back and closed her eyes.

              Jeanette sat Indian style on the floor in the front of the table. “You ok?”

              Sasha shrugged. “Let me calm down. It’s just a lot weighing on me, and Shawn’s ass is not helping.”

              Erin sparked her blunt, took a drag, and put it out. “So what’s up Skyy, you just had to have us over tonight, what’s going on?” she asked taking a sip of her wine.

              Skyy sighed and looked at her friends. “Promise yall won’t judge me.”

              Jeanette now alert; sat up straight. “What did you do?”

              Skyy shook her head. “Remember when I was telling y’all I been kicking it with this new dude? And we really like each other, like he understands me, we vibe so well.”

              Sasha opened her eyes. “Yea, what about him?”

              Erin lit her blunt again. “Aw shit, she pregnant.”

              Skyy cut her eyes at Erin. “No, I’m not pregnant.” She took a brief dramatic pause, then took a drink from her glass, and continued. “It’s just that “him” … is a “her”.

              Erin laughed. “Bitch, shut up.”

              Skyy gave Erin a serious look, and she stopped laughing, “You for real?”

              Skyy stood up. “I’m not a lesbian or nothing, we just be kicking it, you know, hanging out with some of her peoples, or like taking Skylar to the movies or out to eat. We’re not a couple or nothing like that.”

              Jeanette spoke up. “Skyy, if you like women, don’t be ashamed. We all like what we like.”

              Sasha was next. “If y’all just kicking it, why do you think that makes you gay? Because you liking her now?”

              Erin shrugged. “I mean its semi-gay though.”

              Skyy shot her a look. “We haven’t had sex, we just be chilling.”

              Sasha leaned on the arm of the love seat. “But you like her right?”

              Skyy shrugged. “I guess, but-“

              Sasha stopped her. “So if you like her then try something different, you been talking about this girl for damn near three months. It seems like you already got your mind made up.”

              Jeanette shook her head in agreement. “Right, if you’re looking for disapproval from us, it’s not going to happen.”

              Erin spoke. “They’re right Skyy, just make sure this is what you really want. Just know this is different territory.”

              Skyy exhaled a sigh of relief. “I just don’t want to hear people’s mouths.”

              Erin rolled her eyes and sucked her teeth. “Fuck what “people” got to say. People are always going to have something to say, whether you’re doing good or bad.”

              Sasha cosigned. “Do what makes you happy Skyy. Don’t let people dictate how you live your life.”