Finding Orion (30 page)

"You
okay for some more?" he asked, leaning over me to check the stings on my
back.

I nodded.

He smiled and
removed a condom from his back pocket. "Not on the sofa though. Not on
your back." He inclined his head at the couch. "Kneel in front of it."

Climbing down
to the floor, I knelt in front of it the same way
Jace
had. He positioned me so I could rest my head on a cushion while he held on to
my wrists.

He set them
against the small of my back. "Keep them there a sec."

I did as he
asked and listened as he opened the condom wrapper. He released a breath, which
I could only imagine was because he'd put it on.

He knelt
behind me and held my wrists with one hand while pressing a palm against the
edge of the same cushion I was leaning against.

Arching my
back again, I moaned when he pressed his cock against my clit, my pussy.

"You
ready?" he asked, almost growling against the back of my neck.

Oh, God, yes.
"Yes, Master."

There was no
easing in to sex. Not when
Jace
was my Dom.

Grabbing on to
my hips, he pressed his stomach to my back, sandwiching my arms between us. I
repositioned my arms so they wouldn't hurt, and in one quick thrust,
Jace
was deep inside.

I moaned as he
moved in long, fluid strokes. Specs of white light filled my vision, either
from the endorphins already running through me, the pain from the flogger, or
my anticipation. The way he had me up against the couch was nothing like I'd
experienced before. He thrust in deeper, harder, faster than I ever imagined.
And with every thrust, he pushed me that much closer to the edge. I spun higher
and higher in to orbit.

The marks on
my back burned, turning to fire when he kissed them. I let out a ragged gasp
and rocked my hips.

Jace
groaned. His
thrusts slowed, staggered. Taking his time and allowing me some of my own to
recover, he withdrew, sliding in just as I was about to catch my breath. He did
it again, hitting my g-spot each and every time.

I tried to
open my eyes, to see if this was all just some sort of dream, but no matter if
they were opened or
closed,
the room would still be
spinning around us. I clawed at his stomach with my hands, reaching down with
my fingertips to feel his cock as he withdrew once more.

He grabbed at
my wrists and straightened his back so he wasn't flattened against mine. And as
the first tremors of orgasm ran through me,
Jace
picked up the pace. He growled on every exhale, going feral anytime he took a
breath.

I wanted to
turn and face him.
To see his eyes.
To make sure he
was human. All I could do was arch my back and gasp for breath. My vision went
white and the room fell in to silence.

As I
struggled to recover, I could somewhat hear
Jace
panting in the background. My ears popped, and placing the palms of my hands on
the couch, I thrust back against him.

He groaned
and gripped at my hips so hard I could feel his nails digging against my skin.
His growl was gradually turned into a roar, and as his voice reached an octave
I'd never heard in any of his songs, he came.

While
Jace
got up to dispose of the condom, I carefully made my
way into the bathroom. And while I couldn't see it clearly, I turned my back to
the mirror. Red lines on
pinkened
skin crisscrossed
over my shoulders.

Jace
whistled
when he entered the room, handing me a piece of dark chocolate. "It'll
help once the endorphins wear off."

"Then I
guess it's a good thing I'm not allergic." I tossed the chocolate in my
mouth, savoring in as I turned around and held on to the bathroom sink for
support.

"Once we
get out of the shower, I'll get some cream on those. Like I said, you might not
feel it too much right now, but it's going to hurt in the morning."

"So, I
guess that means no playtime tomorrow then?" I glanced back at him as I
started the shower.

"I
didn't say that." He kissed me on the neck. "We'll just have to tone
it back a bit. I guess that answers my next question then."

"What
question would that be?"

"Did you
like it?"
Jace
leaned against the wall.

"Like
doesn't even begin to describe how I feel."

Jace
smiled and
helped me into the shower.

Even as the
cold water caused the strikes from the flogger to burn anew, all I could think
about was how wonderful it felt. It was freeing. In the short moment when all I
could feel was pleasure, my soul had left my body. Now I understood the
addition to pain. It wasn't the pain.
It's
the endorphins.
And I knew they'd keep me flying high until morning.

Chapter Twenty

Jace
wasn't
kidding when he mentioned
subdrop
. Less than two days
had passed, and I was already beginning to feel the brunt of it. Like an
oncoming storm, the symptoms were slow. At first I figured I was just tired.
That I hadn't gotten enough sleep.

But by the
middle of the day, I felt the most depressed I ever have. Not even seasonal
depression could compare to how absolutely disgusting it felt. I was lonely
even though I had other bodies around me, some I called friend at one time or
another.

I checked my
cell constantly, even though I knew
Jace
was out of
town. The day after our scene, they got a call from some place in
California
.
Another big break,
Derek had said. And
against ever fiber in my body, I didn't stop
Jace
when
he went with them.

Only now, I
wished I had. Without him around, I was losing my mind. I was upset. I snapped
at customers just for asking to use the bathroom. I even yelled at
Karie
when she came over to see what was wrong.

After sitting
me down, she ran back to
Farrin's
office. Sad part is
,
I didn't care what she told him. I didn't care if he fired
me or not. Everything felt wrong and numb all at once.

When
Karie
returned, she had my things. "Come on, I'm
taking you home."

I blinked and
glanced back at
Farrin's
office. "What did you
tell him? What about the customers?"

"You
were scaring our customers away, and don't worry about it.
Farrin
can handle things for a little bit. You've been off all morning. I'm amazed he
didn't send you home hours ago."

****

With
Karie's
help, I was able to get up the stairs to my
apartment. Both Simon and David were there as well. Surrounded by friends, I
barely heard them. I couldn't see them. All that went through my mind was how
horrible I felt, how
Jace
knew this would happen and
how could he possibly jump coasts when I was dropping.

By the time I
realized what they were saying, the tears had already begun to roll down my
cheeks.

Karie
had me in
the bathroom, but I was sure Simon and David were close by. She pulled my shirt
up over my head and froze. Without saying a word, she closed and locked the
door. "You feel like telling me something?"
Karie
asked, pointing to the marks on my back.

"It's
nothing." I choked around the words.

"The
hell it's not!" She lowered her voice and lifted my chin. "Look at
me!"

I did, and
the anger I saw in her eyes only made matters worse.

"You're
dropping, aren't you?"

"How..."
I blinked around the tears. "What do you know about dropping?"

She set me
down on the toilet and started a shower. Moments later, she took off her work
shirt so I could see the marks she'd hidden underneath. I winced at the deep
scars on her back and looked away.

"I...I
didn't know." I closed my eyes. "You were always so against it, I
just thought—"

"I had
my reasons. Damn,
Bree
, I knew something was off, but
this was the last thing I expected."

"But he
isn't like that."

"What?
You think just because your marks will go away that
Jace
is a good Dom? Tell me this. Where is he, hmm? Where the hell is he when you
drop?"

I didn't
answer. I couldn't defend
Jace
because for once I had
to agree with
Karie
. How could he leave me, especially
after he'd warned me about this?

"When,
Bree
?"
Karie
continued when I didn't answer.
"How long?"

"Two
nights ago."
I reached for her hands when she went to step
out of the room. "But it was my first time. He...he didn't even want to do
it."

Karie
sighed and
sat on the bathroom counter.
"The marks on my back?
Alex put them there."

My eyes went
wide as I looked at her. "Then why are you still with him?"
How can you even judge me if you're in the
same situation?

"Because
I was stupid.
I kept telling myself it would get better."

"And did
it?"

"Yes,
but that's not my point. Is he experienced?"

"Who,
Jace
?"

She nodded.

"He says
he is."

"But?"

Under the
humming fan, I told her everything I knew about
Jace
,
his ex and how she abused her safe words. I explained how
Jace
had been away from the lifestyle and he was only trying it now because I'd
shown an interest in it.

"Alex
was experienced. But one night, he took a flogger to me while he was drunk."
Karie's eyes glazed over and she averted her gaze. "Worst part is
,
he doesn't even remember it. For the longest time he swore
I went with another Dom. That's why we don't go out that much. He's jealous.
Any guy that looks at me when we're out is an instant threat."

"Wait,
but if that's true, why were you flirting with Derek? Why did you tell me you
kissed him?"

"Because."
She
shrugged. "You were having this great time. I wanted to have one too."

"Even
if it meant making Alex jealous?"

"Especially."
She forced a
smile. "Go on and get in the shower. I'll be right back."

My head was
still spinning after she'd gotten her shirt on and stepped out of the room. I
was pretty sure Simon and David had heard most if not all of the conversation,
but for now, it didn't matter.

Thinking over
everything
Karie
had said
,
I
ducked into the shower, inhaling the steam as warm drops of water fell onto my
skin. And slowly, painfully, the ache in my body and the drop I'd been feeling
all day started to disappear.
Down my back.
Over my skin.
Devoured by the drain.

****

Later that
night, after
Karie
had gone home and the guys returned
to their place just down the hall, my cell rang. I picked it up, stared at the
number.
Jace
.
I set it back
down again. Even after the shower
Karie
had started for
me and having the guys around for most of the evening, the mind-numbing pain
was still there.

Simon and
David only left when I promised to call them if I needed them. Not that they
wouldn’t have been able to hear me crying through the walls anyway. Tossing my
cell to the other side of the mattress, I laid down to stare at the ceiling.

It wasn’t
anywhere near time for bed, and for once, I hoped for some kind of distraction
outside.
Down the hall.
In the bar.
Hell, in Simon and David’s room. Anything to get my mind off of
Jace
and the drop I’d had for the better part of the day.

I closed my
eyes, breathing in the silence, but it was short lived. My phone rang again. I
let it go to voicemail without looking at it.
Let him worry.
I was in no mood to relive any of my low points from
throughout the day, and I knew if I picked up the phone, the first thing
Jace
would ask was how my day went. I wasn’t ready for
that.

I wouldn’t
lie, but I didn’t want to tell him the truth either. As bitter as I was, it was
the fear of having him walk away that kept me from picking up. If he knew the
hell I went through, he’d probably never want to face me again. It had taken me
over a month to get
Jace
to be himself.
A Dom.
And I was sure if he knew any of the things that went
on today, he’d step out of the lifestyle for good.