Finding Orion (29 page)

He leaned in
and kissed me on the forehead before bunching the blankets around me. "Have
I ever told you how beautiful you are?" He stroked my hair, and the last
thing
I remember him saying were four short, unmistakable
words. "I love you,
Bree
."

My body shut
down after that, drifting, falling into a silent dream.

Chapter Nineteen

Close to
three days later, we were back at my place to give my submission another try.
Over the last few days
Jace
made a point to remind me
of my safe words yet again, so much so that it was almost annoying.
But you made him do it.
If I’d only
trusted him instead of fearing the consequences of using a safe word, we wouldn't
have had to stop the other night or spent the last few days repeatedly going over
the rules.

This time I
knew we were going to get it right. When
Jace
and I
weren’t talking on the phone or texting about an upcoming scene, I was busy
daydreaming about it.

To make sure
we were both prepared,
Jace
let me know beforehand
what items he planned to use during our next session. He was bringing things such
as the flogger, and if I did well with that, maybe something a little harder.

Given how
comfortable we’d both gotten having scenes at my place, he met me back at the
apartment toward the middle of the week. He was standing outside when I walked
up the steps from the bar. "Think you’re ready for tonight?"

I smiled and
handed him the keys to the apartment. "Are you?"

He squared
his shoulders as if to prove to me that he was, then said, "Remember, as
soon as we step inside, I’m not just
Jace
anymore."

I nodded.
While he hadn’t said it, he’d assumed the role of Orion once Orion stopped
appearing in my dreams. There was only
Jace
. But
there were also two sides to him—the casual hangout buddy outside the bedroom
and the Dom I had to obey once weren’t in public.

Licking my
lips, I checked up and down the hall, but neither Simon nor David were due home
for at least another couple of hours. The lock on the door to my apartment
clicked, and the door complained when
Jace
opened it.

He gave me a
warning glance. It was assertive and completely in control.

I averted my
gaze and set my arms behind my back, waiting for him to step inside before I
did the same. The rest was up to him. Regardless of what we may or may not have
discussed over the last three days, it was up to him on what happened next.

And very much
like the first night he met me at home, he circled around me. He closed the
door, locked it. His breathing got easier. So did mine. I wasn’t nervous anymore.
We’d done this enough times recently so my mind clicked as soon as we were in
the living room. I submitted almost immediately, and as my mind went blank, I
tracked him.

His shoes
came off. Socks shuffled over the carpet. Gentle fingertips trailed over my
shoulders, my back. Then he moved far away from me. "Tell me your safe
words."

There was no
asking if I was okay. We’d already passed that point before we got inside. That
Jace
was gone, replaced by the Dom I’d been urging to
come out.

"Yellow
to slow down," I began, straightening my posture before he could get the
chance to correct it.
"Red to stop."

"Open
your eyes and look at me."

I met his
gaze and did my best not to look away.

His arms were
over his chest. His eyes were dark as they swept over me. "Good girl."
He relaxed his arms and took a step toward me, his eyes never leaving mine. "Now,
I want you to stand in the middle of the room and get undressed."

I took a
step,
then
stopped.

"Was I
not clear?"

I shook my
head and took another step.

Jace
was next to
me before I could get any further. "Am I scaring you?"

"No,
Master."

"Do you
trust me?"

"Yes,
Master."

"Am I
making you uncomfortable?"

"Yes,
Master."

He made a
sound of approval and backed away. "Continue."

Swallowing
around the lump in my throat, I removed my blouse, followed by my bra,
underwear, and slacks.

"Shoes
and socks as well."
Once I was completely stripped down,
Jace
continued. "Lock your arms behind your back and
close your eyes." He took a step toward me, straightening my back. His
lips brushed against my ear. "Kneel."

Doing my best
to stay balanced, I slowly got down onto one knee, then the other.
Instinctively, I bowed my head, making sure to keep the same posture he had me
use when I was standing up.

I parted my
legs and crossed my ankles behind me. My legs shook, but after some time, I was
able to kneel without having to readjust my weight. Listening, I tracked
Jace
as he glided across the carpeting, his socked feet
hissing as he moved to my right.
Behind me.
To the left.
In front of me again.

When he
circled the second time, he placed a hand on my shoulder, carefully dragging his
fingertips across my collarbone. He drew them along my shoulder blades and
above my breasts.

Time and
again he walked around me in a circle. His breathing never changed. His pace
remained the same. His touch was just as light as when he first began.
Control.

When he
circled again, it wasn't his fingers that were on my skin but something else
entirely. I listened to the hiss of
something
as it slowly glided across my skin. I mentally started to count the fingers
on whatever it was
Jace
had used, only to realize
that they weren't fingers. They were tails.

My body
tensed. I shut my eyes tight. The leather tails of the flogger lifted away from
my skin. They slapped down. I jumped, but the pain I anticipated wasn't there. I
relaxed. My shoulders dropped.

Jace
reached over
to correct my posture. And once again he dragged the tails across my skin.

I sucked in a
breath when they grazed my breasts, the smooth leather cool against my heated
skin. I suddenly felt dizzy, light-headed. I swayed to one side and was forced
to hold out a hand to keep myself from falling.

"
Bree
?"
Jace's
voice
was distant, muffled.

"
Mmm
?"

"You
still with me?"

I bobbed my
head.

"I need
you to answer me,
Bree
. Are you okay?"

"Yes,
Master," I slurred, shifting from one kneed to the other.

"Are you
uncomfortable?"

"Only a
little, Master."

"Do you
want me to stop?"

"No,
Master."

He went
silent then. His footsteps picked up again, and even without my sight, I could
almost see where he was walking. One of the floorboards creaked. The skin on my
left arm felt warmer than everywhere else as he drifted past.

I whimpered
when the tails of the flogger draped over my thigh. It traveled up my leg, above
my clit.

Jace's
lips were
right next to my ear. "You want this, don't you?"

"Yes,
Master."

"Tell me
what you want."

"I..."
I swallowed and tried again. "I want you to fuck me, Master."

"And I
will, but we aren't done here yet, are we?" He drew lazy circles along the
top of one of my breasts.

"N-no,
Master."

"Good
girl.
As you were."

I hadn't
noticed, but I'd started to lean forward. Straightening my back, I begged my
heartbeat to slow down, to stop crashing against my ribs. I held my breath.
Released it.
The dizzy spell from before returned.

Jace
slapped the
tails of the flogger on something nearby, and I jumped.

"Yellow."

Jace
stopped
almost immediately. Placing a hand on either of my arms, he stared right in to
my eyes, which I couldn't remember opening.

"Are you
okay?"

I offered him
a curt nod. "Yes, Master."

"Did I
scare you?"

"No...
the
sound did." I nodded to the flogger in his hand. "What
did you hit it on anyway?"

Jace
backed up
and struck his pant leg with the flogger. "The anticipation got to you,
didn't it?"

"A
little."
I forced a smile.

"Do you
need to change positions?"

"I
should be okay like this for a little longer."

He smiled. "Thank
you for using your word. You see how fast it works?"

I nodded.

"And it
will
every time, so long as you don't abuse them."
  

Now that I'd
seen how the words were used firsthand and didn’t let the fear of
Jace’s
reaction stop me, I couldn't imagine using them for
anything outside of what they were intended for. The fear I saw in
Jace's
eyes when he checked on me was more than enough to
drive the feeling of guilt home. But instead of being angry with me, he smiled.
Use them when you need them.

And I would.
But at the same time, I started to see why his ex may have used them the way
she did.
She wanted the attention.
As
fast as
Jace
reacted to my use of yellow, I'd be
amazed if it would've been caught on a stopwatch at all. It was instant. Almost
as if he knew I was going to use the word before I did.
 

Taking one
last look at the flogger, I returned to the same position I was in before with
my closed and my arms behind my back, head bowed.

It didn't
take long for
Jace
to repeat the hit against his leg
with the flogger. He did it again, only the sound was softer this time.
He's hitting his hand.
He was trying to
get me used to the sound. And every time I heard it, I reacted a little less.

That is,
until he stepped behind me. The flogger came down again, only this time, it hit
against my skin. Close to my shoulder blade. I jumped, not so much from the
sensation as the sound. The hit from the flogger was light. Almost like a puff
of air.

Jace
used it
again, harder this time, on the other side of my back. Little by little, he
increased the sting of the tails, picking up a pattern of one side then the
other as he used the flogger on me.

My back
burned. My skin stung when he hit it again. Tears bit at the backs of my eyes,
and I let my head fall back. Darkness surrounded me. My mind went numb. The
sting from the flogger was gone, and every time it kissed my skin, the jolt
coming off it went right to my clit. I gasped for breath, whimpered, and
moaned.

The bite of
the flogger stopped, and when I opened my eyes,
Jace
was kneeling in front of me.
"Everything okay?"

I winced and
my knees cracked as he helped me to my feet.
"Yeah.
A little dizzy though." I let him guide me over to the couch and took a
sip from the bottle of water he handed to me. "I feel...strange.
Floaty
."

Jace
sat down
beside me. "That would be the endorphins." He leaned against the
couch to check my back. "Soon as you finish that water, we should get you
into a cool shower. You might not notice it right now, but your muscles are
going to feel like shit by tomorrow morning unless we cool them down a bit."

After
finishing my water, I handed the bottle over to him. "What about you?"

"What
about me?"

"We
didn't do anything...did we?"

Jace
smirked and
pet my hair. "Not all arousal is sexual."

"Obviously."
I whimpered
and pressed my back against the couch when he touched a finger to my clit. My
shoulders stung from the flogger, but the pain faded when
Jace
kissed me, knelt in front of me. I tried to speak, but the breath rushed from
my lungs when his fingers trailed away from my clit to move between my pussy
lips.

He gently
urged my legs to open, withdrawing his finger just as I was about to arch my
back.

I release a
frustrated sigh, and he set a hand on my knee.