Finding Orion (28 page)

It passed
over the other breast, circling the nipple until it peeks, before sliding down
to my navel, onto my clit.

I whimpered. I
tried to arch my back, but with the restraints still in place, my movement was
limited to almost nothing. I groaned when I tried to move again with even less
success.

The tails of
the flogger stopped and the hold on my cuffs tightened.
Jace
was tightening the leads so I couldn't move at all. I winced at the burning in
my shoulder and bit my bottom lip.

"Brianna,"
came
Jace's
voice, just as calm as before.

I fidgeted,
corrected myself, and then stopped.

Jace
caressed my
cheek. "
Bree
, use a safe word. Remember, they're
there for a reason." He reached for the cuff on my arm, but I shook my
head.

"No."
I said, surprised when my voice cracked. It was only a little uncomfortable.

"Why
not?
Why won't you use the words I've given you?" He didn't
move,
his hand still on the one cuff. "
Bree
, talk to
me."

"I
don't..." I licked my lips. "I don't want to—"

Jace
undid the
cuff and lowered my arm so it was draped across my stomach. He undid the second
one before I could say anything.

Removing the
blindfold,
Jace
looked right into my eyes. "Are
you okay?"

I swallowed
around the lump in my throat and fought back the tears biting at the backs of
my eyes. I'd ruined his evening. I'd stopped the scene before it even began.

Taking me in
his arms,
Jace
asked, "
Bree
,
why didn't you use a word when you were uncomfortable?"

"You...you
noticed before I could..."

"No I
didn't. I can read you, but only a little. And even when I asked you to use a
safe word, you refused. Why?" He sat me up so I was looking at him.

"Because,
I didn't want to ruin it."

"Ruin what?"

I pointed at
the cuffs still tied to the bed and the flogger he'd set at his side. "I
didn't want it to end."

"And it
doesn't have to. Remember what I told you. Yellow means I need to check in and
make sure you're okay, but play doesn't have to stop. Once I check with you and
I'm sure you're safe, we can continue. But is that the only reason why you
didn't use it?"

I shook my
head and averted my eyes.

"
Bree
, look at me." I did. "Why didn't you say
anything?"

"I
didn't want you to be angry." I bit at the inside of my cheek. "Any
other guy I'd asked to stop always got angry."

"And
were these guys you'd been in a relationship with?"

"No."

"You
can't compare this to a one night stand, babe. I won't be angry. If anything,
I'm more upset now to hear you were afraid of the consequences for using your
words. You should never be afraid or ashamed to use them. They're in place for
a reason, the top one being your safety. And while I may have picked up on it,
there are things in the future I might not notice—things you need to tell me
about. If you can't do that, then we can't continue. Understand?"

I sighed and
was about to lie down when
Jace
took me back in his
arms.

"Not
yet," he said. "In fact, I don't think continuing a scene right now
is a good idea. Your mind isn't in the right place." He went to brush the
hairs away from my face but stopped about halfway. "I know this isn't what
you want right now,
Bree
, but remember what I said?
You're going to want to please me, but there's a big difference between
pleasing the both of us and endangering yourself, and if you don't feel
confident to use your safe word, then I will. One of us need to have the
ability to say stop when it's needed, and I think at least for now, it is.
Maybe we can try again in a week or so, once we've both gotten comfortable with
it."

"But I
am com—"

"This
isn't a negotiation,
Bree
. What I said still stands.
We're free to do anything else, but I won't be bringing any bondage or pain
play to the scene. Not tonight. Not tomorrow either. And before you say it, no,
you didn't ruin our evening. There are other ways to be intimate besides sex."

He didn't
stop me when I climbed out of his lap. Not even when I laid down and turned my
back to him. I knew what he said was true, and that he was right. Playing now
would've only made things worse, but just the amount of patience he had, the
willingness to take a step back was infuriating when I couldn't possibly do the
same.

He isn't saying no.
He
wasn't
saying never
.
Just
not now.
But now was what
I wanted. It was what I thought I needed.

I glanced
back over my shoulder as
Jace
went back through the
contents of his bag, removing two dark colored bottles. Frowning, I rolled over
onto my back so I could see them better.

Jace
smiled at
me.
"A change of heart?"

I tried not
to smile back, but his was contagious. I half shrugged instead.

"Do you
know if you're allergic to any herbs?" He continued when I offered him a
puzzled glance.
"Lavender?
Orange
? Ginger?
Peppermint?"

"Not
that I know of, no."

"Hold
out both your arms with your palms facing the ceiling."

I did as he
asked and watched him put two drops of liquid above either wrist. One was the
lavender he'd asked about, and the other some orange mixture. Together they
were enough to make my head go light, but smelling each one by itself was
something more.

The lavender
was mixed with peppermint and had a very down to Earth smell.
Calming.
Relaxing.
The orange and
ginger was stronger and immediately made me feel awake. Alert.

Ignoring the
fragrances for a minute, I looked up at
Jace
. "How
did you get me out of work anyway?"

Jace's
smile
widened. "I told them the truth." He laughed when my cheeks colored. "Relax.
I didn't tell them
that.
I just
explained to them how I had a big night planned for you and we'd need to get on
the road early if we were going to make our reservations."

I sat up so I
was leaning back on my elbows. "And they believed it?"

"Probably
not, but it worked all the same."

"Does
this mean I'm going to make a liar out of you?"

"Not
at all.
Like I said, I told them the truth, and we do have reservations. Just not at
the time I told them about. Or the place they're expecting us to go."

I was nodding
before he finished. "
Which means takeout.
"

"Pretty
much.
So, with that said, we can eat whenever."
Jace
took a moment to check both of my hands, and when he didn't find a rash or some
kind of allergic reaction he became the Dom I'd invited into the apartment
nearly an hour before. "Lay on your stomach with your arms down at your
sides, palms facing up."

Turning my
head to one side, I pushed the pillow out of the way so I was lying flat on the
mattress. I wasn’t used to lying on my stomach, so it took a moment for me to
get comfortable.

Jace
pulled me
down toward the end of the bed so my feet were hanging off before getting up to
grab a towel from the bathroom. "Mind if I use this?" he asked,
holding it up for me to see.

I offered
some kind of a nod, and he came back into the bedroom.

After
removing his shirt, shoes, socks, and pants,
Jace
straddled my lower back and hips. I closed my eyes after that. I hadn’t had a
massage of any kind for as long as I could remember—
not a real one anyway.

The guys I’d
been with before my ex had tried, but they always pressed too hard and were too
rough when it came to working out a hard knot or a kink in the back of my neck.
And for the first time that night, I trusted
Jace
. I
didn’t need safe words for this. He’d already shown me that he’d back off at
any sign of discomfort, and while I would’ve loved to continue the scene we started,
he was right. A massage was still intimate, still close. It was still touching.

Focusing on
Jace
, I listened to his even breaths as he got off my back
just long enough to remove my robe. Face down and completely naked, I laid
there, waiting.

Jace
didn’t make
me wait long, and after settling down onto the backs of my thighs, he leaned
over to grab one of the bottles of oil from the end table. The towel he’d
gotten from the bathroom was at my side, probably to keep the oil from spilling
on the bed.

Jace’s
weight
shifted again as he sat up. The cap on the bottle of oils opened then closed.
Jace
set it down on the towel, slowly rubbing the oil
between his hands. As it sloshed between his palms, I inhaled the scent of
oranges and ginger.

I smiled,
moaning when warm hands pressed down against the bottom of my shoulder blades.

Using his
upper body strength,
Jace
went to work on the muscles
he found there. He rubbed at one blade, then the other, easing off any time I
flinched or whimpered. "Jesus, no wonder this one was bothering you,"
Jace
groaned, working out a knot in the shoulder that
had been giving me trouble. "You feel this?" He pressed down on the
knot so I could feel it move when he applied pressure to one side or another. "That’s
not good. How long has it been like this?"

"I don’t
know," I slurred, giving in when my eyes refused to open.

"Stocking
101, am I right?"

I laughed at
that. "I wouldn’t be surprised. I’ve been facing a lot of product the last
week or so because we don’t usually have enough help. Then there’s this new kid
I’m training, but I have a feeling
Farrin’s
going to
let him go. He just isn’t—"

The heel of
Jace’s
hand against the stubborn knot stole the breath from
my lungs. It felt more like a hard stone than a tangle of muscle and skin. But
unlike before, he didn’t ease off of it. Instead, he pressed harder, and just
as I was about to use a safe word, the pain in my shoulder started to subside.

"Almost
there,"
Jace
murmured, using both hands now to
stretch out the muscle so it could relax. "Better?"

I nodded as
he moved on to the other shoulder, which wasn’t nearly as bad. When his massage
wasn’t hurting against tight muscles, it was lulling me to sleep. At one point
he said something, but the words didn’t register. I must’ve made some gesture,
because whatever he asked, he didn’t ask again.

It could have
been something as simple as checking in to see if I was okay.
Or awake.
Or it could’ve been him asking
me to marry him. Either way, it all sounded the same.
Static.
I didn’t hear him as much as I felt him. His attention on my shoulders shifter
as did his weight.

Aside from
that, I was lost in the hiss of skin against skin, the opening and closing of
the bottle when he needed more oil and how he slowly crept down my back.
Over my legs.
My arms.

The last
thing he worked on was my neck. Using only his thumbs, he worked out the
smaller kinks that at one time may have been connected to the burning in my
shoulder and collarbone. Granted, they were still sore and would probably hurt
even more in the morning, but for now, the pain was manageable.

Someone said
something to my left, on the other side of the bed. I tried to turn my head and
failed. My lips refused to move. By all counts,
Jace’s
hard work had paralyzed me, sent me into some coma where I was still awake. I
could hear him say something, but hell if I knew what it was.

His weight
lifted off of me, and the next thing I knew, the comforter was thrown across my
back to keep me warm.
"
Bree
."
The voice I’d been trying to focus on came again, and this time it was
something I could understand.

Grimacing at
the muscles in my back as they complained, I slowly, carefully turned my gaze
toward
Jace
who had joined me in bed. The oil was
gone, the towel as well. All I could see was
Jace’s
attentive gaze and his gentle, magic hands reaching out to me.

"Are you
okay?" he asked once he was sure I had enough time to swim back to the
surface of my delirium.

"
Mmm
hmm."
My eyes were dry, their
lids heavy. I fought to keep them open, but I only managed to squint in his
direction.