Fervor (11 page)

This would
always be a part of us now, hopefully not the biggest part. Hopefully we could
both move on.

This was going
to cause a shit storm in the media, I didn't foresee any privacy for at least
the rest of the fucking year, but before any of that could happen there was
still a little matter of revenge. Just because I'd forgiven her didn't mean
those two fucks were off the hook. I had no doubt James would have what we
needed in a few days they didn't call him the hunter for nothing. He got the
job done.

After that was
taken care of then we could rebuild our lives I would never be able to move the
fuck on if they didn't pay for their part in this.

There was no
room for small talk so I just jumped right in.

"So you
said they lied and told you I was having an affair was there anything else
going on?"

She shook her
head in the negative if this shit was going to work she was going to have to
open up.

I was barely
holding on to my temper as it is just thinking about this fuckery made me see
red, but it was a necessary evil and she had to see that or we were lost.

I understood
her hesitancy, after all when the smoke cleared she did look guilty as fuck.
And there was something that had been bothering the fuck out of me.

"What were
you thinking that day in those pictures?" She fidgeted uncomfortably,
before looking in my general direction.

"I don't
know."

"That's
not an answer Suzette, What, Were, You, Thinking?"

"I don't
know okay, I can't think, it hurts to think about it."

"Yeah?
Well it fucking hurt to look at it, you wanna know which one hurt most? Not the
one in the car where it looks like he's going down on you, no, the one that gets
me in the guts every fucking time is the one of you glancing back over your
shoulder at him with your hands holding his while he's nuzzling your fucking
neck." I was shouting by the time the last word left my mouth and of
course she was in tears again.

Now she had her
hands over her ears as if to stop the words, while she rocked back and forth,
knees drawn up to her chest, head down as if waiting for a blow.

Too fucking
bad, if she wanted me, wanted us, then she was gonna have to answer the tough
questions. I was already willing to put my heart on the line, leaving myself
wide open for her to fuck me over again. If she couldn't do this with me, then
we were done. Fuck that.

"I swear
on my fucking life Suzette..."

"No, no,
I'll answer, just give me a minute please." She unfolded herself, still
rocking back and forth, only now she had her arms crossed over her chest.

"I really
don't know what I was thinking, it's not a cop out. I was confused
okay..."

"Why were
you in the car with him?"

"I
don't...he met me at the gym. No we didn't plan to meet I don't remember what
he said he was doing there, something about his car, but either way it was a
chance meeting."

I just bet it
was slick motherfucker.

"Anyway,
we started driving I was going to drop him off at his mechanic or something
like that."

She furrowed
her brow.

"Then he
started talking about the movie and how well it had done, about my career and
where it was going. Then somehow it turned to you and Justine and I don't know,
next thing I know he was kissing me." She was trying to catch her breath
at this point but I didn't try to calm her. I needed her to finish I needed to
hear it all.

"I didn't
want that I swear it took me by surprise, but then I don't know, everything
just got away from me, but he wasn't doing...what you said before. He wanted to
but I couldn't. Then I left the car and walked away trying to get my bearings.
I don't understand how the paparazzi knew where to find me I never saw them at
the gym. They must've followed me somehow, but I don't see how."

I didn't bother
filling her in yet she needed to finish her story first.

"Then I
guess in the picture you're talking about, I went to that window to try to
clear my head. I was already feeling the guilt, but I was nervous too you know.
I didn't know how to handle his advances."

How about
kicking the motherfucking douche in the nuts? That would've worked. I would've
much rather look at pictures of that than of him rubbing his dick against your
ass, an image that was now part of Hollywood's infamy. I didn't say that out
loud because I know she would just freak the fuck out again, but I wanted to.
Let it go Maddox, you promised, don't let your hothead get in the way of this.
Just take a fucking breath.

"In the
picture it looks like you're laughing it doesn't look like you're nervous or
unsure of anything, it just looked like two people having a good time on the
side of the street."

"Gage
please, I promise you I don't remember all that happened that day but I promise
you I was not there to cheat on you. Maybe for one moment the thought of you
with that Justine person made me have a lapse in judgment, but I promise you I
never once wanted him. I could never want him I love you. I'll always love only
you, please you've got to believe me."

And therein
lies the heart of the matter, could I believe her? Should I believe her? I'd
already decided to give us a chance so what real choice do I have? Fuck me over
a barrel this shit is whacked.

I could see
Gage's frustration, feel his anguish, it tore me up inside knowing that this
was my doing. I'd done this to him, to us. I selfishly wanted him to forgive me
and go back to the way things were as if none of this had happened. But was I
being fair to him? Would I have been so quick to forgive him if the shoe were
on the other foot?

I wanted so
badly to hold onto him, but I loved him enough that if he needed me to, I would
find the strength to let him go, although it would kill me to do it.

He said he
wouldn't leave but I was through being naive, there was a lot more at stake
here I had bruised his ego before the whole world, made him a laughing stock.
How could I ask him to put that aside and take a chance on me?

The food his
mother had brought sat on a tray untouched, I couldn't bring myself to eat
though Gage had made me drink the herbal tea. Even now he was still looking out
for me.

Tiffany had
come to the door earlier loaded down with shopping bags, which were now laid
out across the bed.

For the last half
hour I had sat here in silence, Gage said we needed to take a break after my
last episode. I wanted to be strong, I wanted to be the girl he fell in love
with, I hated who I had become, what those pictures said about me.

I'd finally got
up the courage to read some of my own press and it was brutal. I don't think I
could ever face the outside world again. I looked like a grade A slut, some had
gone so far as to call me that. It was deserved.

He'd told me
about James and what he'd found and I was flabbergasted. I couldn't get my head
around it, two people that I'd trusted set out to harm me, but why? What was
the purpose? I didn't have the answer.

Sitting here
with nothing but my own thoughts to keep me company since Gage had disappeared,
I took a good hard look at my situation, I was screwed, no two ways about it.
It didn't matter that I felt guilty or that I was sorry, the damage had already
been done, now all that was left was to pick up the pieces.

I spent the
next hour thinking things through trying to work out the best solution for
everyone. I kept coming back to Gage and what this had done to him in the
public eye. He said he didn't care about that but I know that wasn't true. Gage
is a very private person, for someone who shined in front of the camera he
craved anonymity. I had opened his Pandora's box. I was certain of one thing
though, I could never survive without him, but could he without me? I couldn't
accept that, we were made for each other, we belonged together and no one
should be able to take that way from us.

He came back
not long after, his hair still wet from his shower, he'd gone down to the gym
to work off some steam. He looked so good I wanted to jump him. It's the first
time we were ever alone in a room together without touching in some small way.
We were always very touchy feely, like two sides to one coin. How could we move
on from that?

"Come
here."

He held his
hands out to me and I couldn't get to him fast enough. It felt so good to be
held in his arms again.

"I've done
some thinking, listen to me now. I'm gonna ask you some questions and I need
you to be as honest as you can, no bullshit, I won't get mad at you, no scratch
that I'll probably get mad but I won't lash out at you for telling me the
truth. Agreed?"

I nodded my
head and geared myself up for what was to come.

"Did you
at any time want out of our relationship?"

"No."

"Did you
want to have an affair with Terry Poole?"

"Absolutely
not."

"Are you
stifled by our relationship?"

"No Gage,
I love our life together."

"Do you
love me Suzette or do you love the character in a movie?"

"What, why
would you, how could you even think that?"

"Ssh, ssh,
we need this okay, these are the questions we have to ask ourselves so we never
come back here again." He drew me in tighter.

I drew in a deep
breath," Okay, okay you, it's Gage I love not some character in a
script."

" And
you're sure you know the difference?"

"Yes I
know the difference."

"Do you
see yourself spending the rest of your life with me, think about that before
you answer, because if we do this we're doing this forever."

"I don't
need to think about it I know what I want, if I've learned one thing from this
whole nightmare it's that I could never survive without you, you're my whole
world, my everything, I love you." He kissed me.

I felt his lips
on mine for the first time in forever and it was the most amazing feeling in
the world. We kissed as if our lives depended on it, my hands buried in his
hair, his large hands cupping my ass the way he was so fond of. I felt his need
for me against my Mons, my body reacting naturally to the stimulus. I wanted to
cry and laugh at the same time, my head was swimming and my heart was doing
cartwheels. He pulled away slightly.

"I forgive
you Suzette."

The taste of her
was intoxicating, heady, all consuming, our tongues battled each other for
dominance but I was determined to win. Without breaking our kiss I walked us to
my bed, holding her to me with one arm I used the other to throw the packages
off the bed. I was in a rush now to get inside her it had been too long too
long without this, without us. There was no room for doubts here it was just
her and I as always.

I could hardly
leave her lips long enough to tear off her robe and my pants. There were hands
everywhere, hers, mine, and when I felt her warm soft hand against my chest,
over my heart, I finally let it all go, for this, for moments like this I will
fight.

" I love
you baby girl, my butterfly." I kissed her temple.

She reared up
to meet me, tears falling, but these tears were different, these were tears of
joy and renewal.

"Love you
too." She attacked my mouth with hers, her hands grabbing my hair tightly
holding me to her.

I had thought
to go slow this first time but she seemed to have other ideas, she was
ravenous, like a tigress she rolled me over onto my back as she ran her hands
and mouth all over my body. I grabbed her ass, which was my favorite thing to
do. Regaining the upper hand I threw her back on the bed towering over her, the
look of her all flushed and opened for me sent me over the edge, all reason
fled as I bit and licked my way down her body. When I reached her core I dove
right in, no hesitation, sweet ambrosia.

"Uhhhhhhmmm"

That purr from
her spurred me on as I used my tongue to fuck her while holding on tightly to
her ass. I was gonna mark her but I didn't care, I needed to, needed to see my
brand on her. I left her sweet pussy to nibble on her hips, her stomach, I left
no place untouched. Holding her hands above her head I guided my cock into her.

"Sweet
fuck, you feel so fucking good baby." Warm, tight, snapping, she clamped
down on my cock like a vice, so tight I could hardly move, I bit her nipple
lightly and felt her clench and release, then I moved in her, hotly,
forcefully, I'll be gentle next round. Raising her legs over my shoulders, I
bent her almost double as I ground my dick into her, I could feel the opening
of her cervix that's how deep I was in her, the sounds that came from her could
probably be heard all over the fucking house but I didn't care, I was a man
possessed reclaiming what was mine.

"Mine,
you're mine, this is mine." I had my hand wrapped around her throat
holding her in place as I pounded into her.