Faithless (10 page)

My hands slid underneath Riley's shirt and I
shuttered at the feel of her warm skin against my palm. I was practically
trembling with the anticipation of finally being able to feel her smooth skin
against mine. She must've sensed my trepidation because her hand made it's way
up to my face and soothingly brushed against my cheek. Her touch almost
instantly calmed me and my nerves slowly started to fade.

I pulled her shirt over her head and sat back on my
heels to take in the sight of her beautiful body lying beneath me. She was the
most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my entire life. Just knowing that this
amazing creature beneath me, trusted me enough to be this exposed and
vulnerable meant more to me than I think even I would ever know. A small sigh
escaped from between her lips and I felt my body shutter in anticipation of
those lips being on mine. With her legs wrapped tightly around my waist, I
leaned forward on my elbows.

My fingers gently stroked each strand of her hair
as we stared into each other's eyes. Her lips were slightly parted and her warm
breath tickled my skin causing goose bumps to break out across my hypersensitive
neck. My lips pressed gently against hers and just as I was about to deepen our
kiss, Riley's hands gently started to push against my chest.

"Are you okay?" I whispered.

"Yes. No, I don't know." Her hands fell
to the bed. "I just don't know what to think right now. My emotions are
all over the place. I know how much I care for you Tristan, but I find myself
second guessing everything I do around you."

"Then don't think Riley. For the next thirty
minutes, just don't think." I whispered in ear before placing small
featherlike kisses to her neck.

Her only response was a muffled moan, so I took
that as a sign to continue. My lips slowly made their way down her neck, across
her collarbone and eventually to her perfect breasts. I slid my finger between
the thin lace bra that was still covering them and her skin, pulling it back
just enough to expose her nipple. Her body shuttered beneath me as I took her
nipple into my mouth. As my tongue repeatedly flicked across her hardened
nipple, I could feel my arousal growing. My need to be inside of her was beyond
my control at this point and I was trying everything I could to keep from
skipping straight to just burying myself deep inside her.

As if she could read my mind, her hand swiftly
moved down to my waistband. I could tell she needed this as much as I did, when
she made quick work of unbuttoning my pants, setting my erection free. I let
out a loud moan as her hand wrapped around my length, and as she began stroking
my hard cock, I literally felt myself melting around her.

I quickly pulled a condom from my wallet and sat
back as I pulled her pants from her body. My fingers found their way to her
hardened nub and circled it until she was on the brink of falling over the
edge. Riley took me by complete surprise when she ripped the condom wrapper
from my hand and rolled it down me. I glanced down into her beautiful eyes,
waiting for the okay from her. I wasn't about to ruin the moment by doing
anything she wasn't prepared to do. She slightly nodded her head and a smile
formed on my lips.

Without another thought, I gently started pushing
myself inside of her. She was so wet that my cock hardened even more with the
contact. Once I was fully inside of her, I didn't waste another minute being
gentle. Something inside of me took over and the overwhelming need and want for
her pushed me harder and faster into her.

With every thrust I could feel her legs tighten
around my waist. Her hands flew up to my back, her nails raking across the
skin. Her warm breath caressed my skin as my eyes fluttered shut. Every thought
was of how perfect her and I felt together and how much of my heart this girl
had already stolen away from me. Now I had her, completely. She was mine and I
never wanted to let her go. I could feel myself getting closer, but couldn't do
it alone. I wanted her to come with me. I wanted to feel our bodies succumb to
the pleasure together.

"I'm close, sweetheart." I had slowed
just a tad, to make sure she was right there with me.

"I am too." She whispered back, and within
seconds we were both falling into ecstasy.

My body gently fell to hers. Our breathing was
erratic and heavy. In that very moment, I knew that this was who I wanted to be
with for the rest of my life. There was no longer a question or single doubt in
my mind. I rolled my body to her side, caressing and stroking her dewy skin.
Her skin felt amazing beneath my fingers and I don't think I would ever get
enough of her. When my eyes made their way up to hers, I noticed the smile that
had formed on her face. It was just as beautiful as her. Her perfectly
straight, white teeth were noticeable and I couldn't help but smile in return.

"What are you smiling about?" She
giggled.

"You. You're amazing Riley, and by the way,
that smile makes you even more beautiful. You should wear it more often."
I laughed.

"Well, maybe I will." That beautiful
smile stayed plastered to her face the entire time we both dressed ourselves.
Not once did I see it waver or look uncomfortable. It suited her, and I felt
proud that I was the one that helped put it there.

"So there's something I wanted to tell
you."

"Oh really?" When she sat down on the
edge of the bed her smile faded and was once again replaced with her scowl.
"What is it, Riley?"

"Well, I've decided to leave this place. I'm
moving into my mom's house. She left it to me in her will. She actually left me
everything she has ever owned."

I pulled my shirt over my head and ran my hands
through my unruly hair before making my way over to her. I sat down next to her
and took her hands in my own. "Are you sure that's the best idea? I mean,
here you have help and people to talk to and you're not alone."

"I know, but I think it's time. Mr. Rollins
agrees with me. We've already decided that I would start individual sessions
with him every week, even twice if needed. I haven't seen my mother's place
yet, but I'm sure it's livable."

I dropped my head in defeat. There were reasons I
liked Riley being here, and not worrying about her safety was the biggest one.
I was proud of her for all that she had accomplished so far, but I didn't want
to see her throw it all away without thinking this through.

"Are you going to live alone?"

"Well, yeah I was planning on it. I'll be
okay, Tristan. I don't want to hurt myself anymore. I promise."

I stood and started pacing in front of her. "I
believe you, Riley. That's not what I'm worried about. There are a lot of
things that can affect you out there. I'm just not sure you're ready for all of
this." Judging by the look on Riley's face, I instantly knew that, that
was the
wrong
thing to say.
"Riley, wait. That's not what I meant."

She turned quickly and stood right in my face,
"That is exactly what you meant to say. That's what you honestly believe.
Well I've got news for you
sweetheart,
I
don't need you or anybody else. I've survived this long on my own. I'm ready to
do whatever needs to be done to make myself happy, and if you can't accept
that, well then I guess this is where we part ways."

She flung open the bedroom door and went storming
down the hall. Before I could make it to her, London was wrapping her in his
arms. I could see her body shaking as the tears were finally breaking free, and
it was killing me that I was the one who caused them. Worse than that, London
was the one that was comforting her.

I pulled my shoes on and stormed down the hallway,
purposefully bumping into them as I passed by. Just when I thought we could
possibly make this work, I found myself questioning just how such a volatile
relationship could ever last. I glanced over my shoulder just before I turned
the corner to leave the ward, and noticed that London had turned her so only he
could see me. I half expected him to do so, but when he gave me that sly piece
of shit grin, I knew I had my work cut out for me. The doors slammed shut behind
me and I half ran out to my car.

"Tristan!" Shit, I had totally forgotten
about my sister.

"Grace, I'm not really in the mood right now.
Can we please just go?" I unlocked the doors and threw myself into the
drivers seat.

"Man, what the hell happened up there?"

"Not now, Grace. I'm begging you."

"Okay."

We both buckled our seat belts and headed back to
my condo. I wasn't sure what was going to happen with Riley and myself now, but
I had only one idea on how to deal with it all. As soon as we pulled into my
carport, I shut the car off and took the stairs two at a time to get to my
room. I pulled on my board shorts, grabbed my wetsuit and board and headed out
to the beach.

The stretch of beach in front of my condo was
completely desolate and for the first time in my life, I was thankful. I
usually loved to be around other people, have others to surf with, but today I
just needed one thing. I paddled out as far as I could before getting tired. I
sat up on my board and took in the magnificent scenery around me. I let my eyes
fall shut as the midday sun hit my face with such amazing warmth. I wasn't
worried about catching the perfect wave at the moment; I was only worried about
finding
my
peace.

When I opened my eyes, I could barely see the shoreline
and I decided to start paddling back in a little ways. As I started getting
closer to shore, the waves were more than I could ever ask for. I caught a few
and rode them for longer than I thought. By the time I actually started making
my way in, I saw my sister sitting on the beach, obviously waiting for me. The
sun had started to dip below the horizon and I realized that I had been out
here most of the day.

"How long have you been sitting here?" I
shook the water from my hair and unzipped my wetsuit, pulling it half way down
before taking a seat next to Grace.

"A while." She was drawing in the sand
with a stick like she always used to when we would come out here as kids.

"What's wrong, Gracie?"

"I don't know, Tristan. Everything just seems
like it's all fading away. I feel lost."

I put my arm around my sister's shoulders and gave
her a squeeze. "Everything is going to be fine, Grace. I promise I won't
let things get bad again."

"I know you won't."

Grace and I sat in that same spot and in that
position until long after the sun had set. We never spoke a word and we never
had to. We had a bond that was as if we would've been twins. Neither one of us
ever had to express our feelings too often, because the other one was already
taking the steps to fix whatever was wrong. I trusted Grace more than anybody
in this world and I would do everything in my power to make sure she always
knew that.

The day had come and gone and now it was almost
midnight, and Tristan hadn't returned once. Not that I expected him to come
back, begging me to forgive him, but a small part of me wished that he would
have. Even though I had found comfort in London's embrace, it wasn't what I had
wanted or even needed at the time. I wanted Tristan. London had never been
anything but kind and understanding, but our relationship was different than Tristan’s
and mine.

Soon after Tristan had left, I pushed back from
London asking him to just give me some time to sort things out. He was
understanding and accepting, but was still lingering around the hallways. I
wasn't sure if I had pushed Tristan away for good with my over reacting, but I
wasn't willing to let London ruin any chance of that. Now that I was aware of
London's feelings, I found myself being more cautious with the things I said
and did.

I had been staring at the same spot on the ceiling
for the last hour, contemplating my next move as far as Tristan was concerned.
Earlier today had been amazing. It was something I never imagined feeling. I
was used to being forced to do the things that should have been enjoyable and
Tristan had been so gentle and loving with me. I now understood what people
meant when they would say that making love was much different than just having
sex.

In that moment, I had realized that what I felt for
Tristan
was
love and not just some
emotion I couldn't explain. Although the fear I felt was an overwhelming
feeling, I was suddenly looking forward to actually living my life. I got up to
go to the bathroom one last time before finally laying down and forcing myself
to get some sleep. Unfortunately the situation wasn't going to be resolved
tonight, so I may as well rest up for my big day tomorrow. As much as I knew I
was ready to be on my own again, I was deathly afraid of failing. My eyes began
to get heavy and the last thought I had before I finally succumbed to sleep was
one of Tristan and I, and we were happy, truly happy.

I woke with the rising sun the next morning. I
rolled over towards the window that held the most amazing views of the Pacific
Ocean and tucked the blanket tightly around myself. I watched as the sun slowly
rose above the horizon, bringing a new day and a new sense of hope for my new
life and myself. Today was the day that I became an independent woman, and
there wasn't anything or anybody who could stop me.

I glanced at the small alarm clock next to me
realizing that I had been awake a lot longer than I had first thought. I only
had about twenty minutes to get ready for group and today; I was actually
looking forward to it. I was about to force myself out of bed when Blake's
voice echoed through the room, causing me to startle.

"Morning Riley." Her voice was lower than
usual and seemed a bit off.

I rolled over so I now had a straight view of her.
She was still tucked in tightly into her bed with a sadness in her eyes.

"You okay, Blake?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just going to be a hard
day."

I sat myself up and locked eyes with Blake,
"Just because I'm leaving doesn't mean we won't ever see each other again.
You know that right?"

"I know. I'm just so happy for you, Riley. Did
you and Tristan work your "stuff" out?"

I let out a small giggle as she made quotation
around stuff. "Honestly Blake, I think we have bigger issues than we first
believed. We had an amazing day together though and that counts for something,
right?" I knew she would see right through my questionable thoughts, but
that's what I liked most about Blake. She knew exactly what I was really
saying, without me having to say it. I think that's why I trusted her so much.

Blake stretched her body the entire length of the
bed before she got up and made her way over to my bed. I pulled the covers back
for her to slide in next to me. She linked her arm through mine and laid her
head on my shoulder. Before I ended up in this place, I couldn't even stand to
be touched. Now that I had learned to love myself and put the past behind me,
well let's just say I have warmed up to physical contact.

"That counts for a lot, Riley. Just the fact
that you have let him in and he's letting you in, is a huge step. I'm proud of
you Riley. I only want good things to happen for you from now on."

"I know you do, Blake. You were a good thing.
I like that I have a girlfriend I can actually talk to without feeling judged
or uncomfortable. I know I gave you a hard time when we first met, but I'm so
grateful for your persistence. I feel like I could tell you anything and you
will always have my best interest at heart."

"I always will Riley. All you ever have to do
is call, and I'll be there. Well, as soon as I get out of this hell hole at
least."

I laid my head on top of Blake's. "Blake, are
you sure you're going to be okay?"

"I promise. Don't you worry about me girl, I'm
a survivor."

"I know you are, but it's okay to ask for or
need help. Just promise me you'll keep in touch."

"Promise. Now enough of this lovey dovey
bullshit. Get your ass out of bed so you can go say your goodbyes."

I let out a loud heartfelt laugh, "Yes
ma'am."

We both quickly dressed and started making our way
down the long desolate hallway to group. The place was quieter than it had ever
been before and I had a bad feeling in my stomach. Something just seemed, off.
When we got to the doors that opened up to the vast room where group was always
held, a forlorn feeling nestled into my gut. As much as I hated to admit it, I
was going to miss this place. Tristan was right in a sense. I needed these
people. I needed the feeling that I belonged. Blake reached down to grab my
hand and gave it a tight squeeze.

"You ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be, I suppose."

Seconds later, Blake was pushing the doors open and
the entire group was yelling surprise. My hands flew up to my mouth in shock
and surprise. All of these people were here, for me. I slowly started making my
way over to everyone when I noticed all the work that they had put into setting
up this place. A huge banner hung high on the wall across the room that read,
'Good luck in your new life, Riley'. There were pink and white streamers
hanging from every ledge and wall in the room and a giant cake sat at the far
end of the room on a table with coffee and soda. No one had ever thrown me a
party before, let alone a surprise party and I couldn't stop myself from
getting a little bit emotional.

Everyone stood there staring at me, waiting for
some sort of response, but I was at a loss for words. "Tha..Thank you all,
so very much. This means so much to me." Everyone smiled and gave small
waves in my direction as some other people came over to give me awkward hugs. I
glanced around the room looking for
him
,
but he was nowhere to be found. Instead my eyes stopped on London, who was
looking at me in a way that wasn't just friendly anymore. As much as I thought
it would make me uncomfortable, it didn't and that in itself surprised the shit
out of me.

I slowly made my way over to him and Mr. Rollins.
London's arms were stretched out to his sides just waiting for me to hug him.
As much as I didn't want to, I did, and it felt nice. "Thank you for all
of this." I whispered as I stood on my tiptoes to plant a small chaste
kiss to his cheek.

"You're very welcome, Riley."

I stayed in London's embrace until Mr. Rollins
cleared his throat from beside me. "Riley, can I speak with you for a
moment alone?"

"Of course." My arms instantly dropped to
my sides and I followed him to the other side of the room.

"I just wanted to take a minute to say how
proud of you I am. You've made some really good progress here and I look
forward to helping you along the rest of the way to healing. You're a very
strong person and I find that to be a very admirable trait in a young lady such
as yourself. Now don't forget, you need to meet with me first thing tomorrow
morning and then once a week after that. You can always come and see me more
often if you'd like to, but once a week is mandatory."

"I remember." I crossed my arms over my
chest as I was starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable by the close
proximity of our bodies. There had always been something a little weird about
Mr. Rollins and I had always played it off to it just being the way that he was
as a person, but lately I was starting to think maybe it was more.

His hand went up and settled on my shoulder and I
pulled back a bit. "Riley, if you ever need anything, anything at all,
here is my office and cell phone number. Please don't ever hesitate to call. Do
you have your living situation all sorted out yet?"

"I'm going to my mother's house as soon as I
get released from here. I guess I'll just have to take it from there."

"Okay well, make sure you don't do it alone.
You never know what you may find yourself faced with when you get there."

"I know. I'll have someone with me."

"Good. Well, let's get back to your party,
shall we?"

He gave me a crooked smile, making the hairs on the
back of my neck stick up. Something wasn't right. I could feel it deep down. A
lot of people were here to celebrate with me, so I pushed my uneasiness away
for now. I joined everybody from group who were standing in a small circle by
the back windows. London of course was in the thick of it and making himself
the center of attention. He was never arrogant about it, but he somehow had
everybody flocking to him, interested in every word that came out of his mouth.
I nudged Blake in the side and she turned to look at me, her smile fading when
she saw the look on my face.

"What's wrong?" She bent over to ask.

"He didn't show."

"You sure about that?" She nudged me and
pointed in the direction of the door that had just closed behind the most
beautiful man I had ever laid my eyes on. My heart skipped a beat and a knot
formed in my stomach as he smiled that panty dropping, heart-melting smile.

I met him halfway across the room and stopped just
shy of where
he
had stopped. I wasn't
sure how to react to him. I wanted to throw my arms around him and pull him
into a deep hug. I wanted to crush my lips down on his and claim him as mine,
but I didn't. I let him take the lead, and for once he seemed hesitant to even
be around me.