Faithless (21 page)

Sometimes it takes death for you to appreciate
life. I had gone through my life believing I didn't deserve life, and wishing
for death. Now I know that in the darkness is where you find the light. For me,
that light was Tristan
and
London.
Both of these men showed me what it meant to be loved and how to love. I'll
always miss London. What he did was wrong and I'll be the first to admit that,
but he was a good man who never got the chance to find his light in this life.
I like to believe that I was a glimmer of that light before he died, but who’s
to say?

Even though Tristan may never understand why I
still care for London, despite everything he did, he has found it in himself to
forgive London. Being the amazing man that he is, he even visits his grave with
me once a month.

We haven't been back out to the cliff since that
dreadful night, but I still dream about it every once in a while, and some days
when I'm feeling really low, I want to go back. That cliff is where my demons
hide now and I don't need, nor want to face those demons again in this
lifetime. Although that place has a whole new meaning to me now, it just felt
like it was time to move on. I still have never heard from Blake, and not a day
goes by when I don't wonder what she's up to and hope that she's safe.

My life with Tristan may just be beginning, but I
know in my heart that my life will also end
with
him. I found my reason to live, and he has always been by my side. I'd like
to say that Tristan and I now had the perfect relationship, but how can any one
person even say that? What we have is special and nobody can ever take that
away from us, but we still have our issues. Now we deal with them together as
opposed to running away and trying to deal with them on our own.

I wish I could've met his sister to say thank you
to her. She was there for her brother when no one else was, and she made him
see that it is okay to move on with your life. As for Tristan and his mother,
well that'll take some time too, but they're both finally learning how to
communicate with each other and put in the effort.

I've never had a single regret in my life and will
continue to never. Tristan has opened up my heart that I had forever sealed, or
so I thought. And as we take everything day by day, I can't help but be
thankful that on that cold dreary night, he saved me, in more ways than one.

Looking out over the moonlit ocean, I realize just
how different my life could've been had I chosen a different path. My heart no
longer hurts for the mother I never knew and lost, and the pain of my past has
almost completely disappeared. Life's funny that way. Once you feel true love,
forgiveness becomes easy and almost effortless.

Tristan may have found me faithless and alone, but
now I'm comforted knowing that the one person, who always had
faith
in me, is the one man I could
never live without. Dream big and see where the journey takes you. Tristan had
instilled this in me and everyday I strive to enjoy wherever that journey may
take us. As of now, in this very moment, that journey has led me into the warm,
comforting arms of the only man in this life, who has ever loved me irrevocably
and unconditionally.

I don't have dreams of a white picket fence,
marriage, kids or any of the normal things most people do. No, I just have one
dream, and I'm living it.

As I make my way back down the beach to our condo,
I catch a sight that I know so well. The moon lit his toned, shirtless torso as
he headed towards me. I can't help but swoon. This gorgeous man is all mine and
I can't help but thank my lucky stars. As he reaches me, his arms reach out and
pull me into his hard body. Neither one of us speaks as we watch the midnight
waves break on the shore. My eyes flutter shut at the pure bliss that I am
feeling in this moment. Tristan moves his chin over to rest on my shoulder and
I catch a whiff of his minty breath. The smell is intoxicating and all too
familiar, and I love it. I can feel his breath move across my neck and his soft
tender lips make their way over to my ear.

"Thank you, Tristan." I whisper into the
night air.

"What for?" He turns me in his arms, and
now I'm facing him.

"For saving me. For teaching me to have faith.
For letting me love you on my own terms."

"That's what love is, sweetheart. If I had to
do it all over again, I would. In a heartbeat."

"Yeah?"

"I would, no questions asked. If I still ended
up with you at the end, I would most definitely do it all over again."

I stand on my tiptoes and gently kiss his lips. He
could have never said another thing for the rest of our lives, and I could be perfectly
content with what he
had
just said.

"You want to keep walking?" He asked as
he playfully nudged my shoulder.

"With you, always." His hand fell into
mine and we walked hand in hand, into our future. Whatever that may be.

THE END

Don't forget, there is help out there. For more
information, please visit the following links or call the number listed:

Child Abuse:

National Domestic Violence Hotline

800 799 SAFE

Suicide

National Suicide
Prevention Lifeline

800 273 TALK