Never Say Never

KAT

I hate leaving Savannah, I hate leaving Jessica, and I hate leaving the sun.

“Chicago’s a great city, kiddo. You’re gonna love it, I promise.” My father says, as he turns the dial down on the radio.

“But, we’re not living in the city, remember?”

“Naperville is a short train ride, it’s no big deal, Kat.” He sighs.

Ugh. No big deal. For him, maybe it isn’t, but for me it feels like I am being punished for my mother’s sudden and brutal departure. I just shrug and give in. The car ride is going to be hard enough to handle, I don’t need any pointers on how to get by. I’ve made it unscathed for six months to the day, he doesn’t need to start now. This is going to be a long fourteen hours. Thank God for iPods. It’s the only thing to keep me occupied, throughout this hell of a car ride that I am thrusted into.

Ever since my mother walked out on us, I had a hard time trusting anyone. The killer part, she just left a note telling us that she needed to move on, rediscover herself, and that she hadn’t been happy in years. A note, that’s it. She was gone when I got home from the beach one day. If you can’t trust your own mother, who the hell can you trust?

I have separated from most of my friends, lost my boyfriend, and I stopped ballet. Something she has forced me to do since I was four, but I secretly love.

As much as I hate her for leaving me, I keep an old photo of her tucked under my pillow. My father removed every trace of her after she left, so there is no constant reminders lingering throughout the house. I can’t help but feel guilty, almost all my features resemble her, except for the eyes. Those are a gift from my father’s side.

As we approach the four bedroom Tudor, I can’t help but think how ridiculous it is to be living in such a big house. I know my father does well in life, but the Range Rover and the huge house is a bit of an overkill.

My room is already done the exact way it was in Savannah. My Dad wants me to feel comfortable, and had it painted the exact shade of purple. I have to admit, it’s a cool room. It’s huge, with an archway toward the back, making it look like two separate rooms. The bathroom is big enough to fit a family of five. The best part, is the small balcony that faces the front yard.
Too bad it snows all winter...I'll only be able to use it in the summer months.
I hate snow.

It’s the middle of the school year, January, and the ground is covered in a blanket of white fluff; at least seven inches. There is nothing worse than beginning a new school, Midyear. It was hard enough to maintain good friends in Savannah, but going in as a senior will be impossible. You learn by the fourth grade, girls are just plain evil, calculating, and rarely let anyone into their tight circles. After ten years in Savannah, I had made all the friends I needed, and even an ex-boyfriend to boot.

I hate waking when the alarm goes off, the snooze button keeps my eyes closed until I have to force them open.

After a much needed shower, I put on my jeans and T-shirt, and carefully apply my make-up. I run down the stairs to find my Dad, before heading off to a day that I am not looking forward to. He isn’t anywhere to be found, just a note fastened on the fridge with a magnet that reads Sullivan’s on the front. He’s already left for work. Figures.

My Dad throws himself into work, barely making appearances. The only time that I do see him is after nine in the evening, and on Sundays. He explained to me once, right after she left, that it helped him stay focused, to not think of her. I miss him. After a quick bagel, I throw the boots on that I bought online, slip into the Northface parka and head to my new high school. The walk to school is as horrific as I expect. As I trudge through sidewalks not yet shoveled from the snowfall the night before, I’m mad at myself for not tucking in my jeans. The bottoms are soaked, and now I’m cold. God, how I miss flip flops.

As I approach The Naperville North High School, my new home away from home, I can’t help but be completely put off by the cars in the parking lot. I must have counted at least ten BMW’s, two Audi’s, and a ridiculous amount of Volvo’s. Who the hell are these kids? The rich and famous apparently. My dad promised to buy me a car for college, but I never would expect a car like any of those. Besides I’d rather walk.

I made it through the first few periods happily unnoticed. The only person that spoke to me was the heart throb that sat behind me in World History, named Cameron. He seems sincere, but I didn’t plan to make any friends here. I just want to put all of this behind me and head off to college.

Great! Crowded cafeteria, crappy food, and preppy teenagers who think they’re God’s gift to this world. I’m a girl who likes to eat; I enjoy food, but this is gross. I have no other option, but the salad bar. I even have to admit as I look through the glass, it’s a sweet spread.

As I eat my rabbit food, I look across the cafeteria, to see that I haven’t gone completely unnoticed as I had thought. I recognize him from class, Cameron is good looking in an obvious sort of way. Hot in fact, but as soon as I see the Barbie doll falling all over him, he becomes exactly what I think he is. No good, and after the only thing that boys want. After the public display of affection, it seals the deal. I turn my attention back to my chick peas, and ignore everyone.

Thankfully I make it through the day, and am looking forward to the feel of the cold air on my face. As I rummage through my locker, grabbing the hours of homework I need for the night, I can feel the warmth of someone’s breath on the back of my neck. Whoever it is, they are a little uncomfortably close, and I was never shy.

I turn. “Can I help you with something?” I ask.

“How was your first day, Kat?” Cameron asks.

I roll my eyes. “It was good, until now,” I snap.

He frowns. “What the hell’s your problem?”

“You. I’m not interested, so keep walking...try going back to Barbie,” I say, as I slam my locker.

I can tell by the way his jaw drops, I have caught him off guard.

He shrugs. “Fine. It was nice talking to you, too.”

He whirls on his heels, and storms off. I couldn’t help but think about him, he was trying hard to be friends, too hard. When he spoke to me, his green eyes penetrated right through me. I even feel slightly bad for being so rotten to him, but I can’t worry about his feelings right now. I have my own to protect.

I stare over my shoulder as he walks away. I can’t help but notice his body. The way he walks, his knapsack slung over his shoulder, and surprisingly the music sheet hanging out from the back pocket of his Levi’s.

CAMERON

I always sit in the back of the classroom, it makes it much easier to watch the girls. They easily distract me through the fifty minute lectures with their hair tossing, the pencils they swish around inside their mouths. It looks like senior year is going to glide by, half the year has already past, and college is not so far in the distant future.

I am sitting in my usual spot, waiting for the handful of bombshells to waltz in with their short skirts, and tight little tanks, when she walks in. I have never seen her before, and she takes me by surprise. I sit straight up in my desk, as much as it will allow. My six foot two body isn’t designed for high school desks, my knees touch if I don’t lounge forward.

I study her briefly as she sashays her way toward the back of the room, I can tell that she is definitely different from the average Naperville girl that I have grown accustom to. I have no clue who she is, which is weird because it’s already January and no one mentioned a new girl starting. When she sits down right in front of me, I have a hard time not noticing how pretty she is. She has on jeans, and a matching black T-shirt. She wears too many silver rings, one on almost every finger. When she lifts her hair and pulls it back into a band, I can’t help but notice the tattoo on the back of her neck. It’s small, but it’s the shape of a heart with a crooked line going through it. It reminds me of the necklaces girls wore when they were little; the hearts broken in two, that read best friends forever.

I want to talk to her, I need to know this girls name.

I tap her quickly on the shoulder before I lose my nerve. There is just something so different about her.

“Hey, I’m Cameron. You’re new here, huh?”

She turns. “Um, yeah, how’d ya guess?”

Hmmmm. Not the response I was hoping for.

“I haven’t seen you around before, that’s all.”

I hear the door shut. I don’t look, but can hear Mrs. McLaughlin starting her lecture on the French Revolution. I ignore her.

I wonder still. “And your name is?”

She looks at me like I am either boring her, or bothering her. I can’t tell which, maybe both.

“It’s Kat. Anymore questions or do you think I can learn something today?” She says. She turns her back to me.

“Fine, I was trying to be nice.”

As she turns, I can’t help but notice how great she smells. A cross between cinnamon and vanilla.

Jeez, who the hell is she? She might be cute, but screw her. I’m not gonna let her get to me, there’s plenty of girls dying to get a piece of me. Girls love guys in bands, and my skateboard works with the ladies, too.

It’s a long class, even though she hides her face from me, it’s hard to resist not staring. Her jeans, and black rock T-shirt show off her body nicely. Even though she seems like she’s made of ice, she makes me want a little more. She pretty much runs out of the class as the warning bell rings, before I can even speak to her. I make my way out, still baffled by this new girl, Kat. What kind of name is that? Max, my best friend, and I head down the hallway. Max and I have been friends since the sixth grade, and since we both share the love of music, we’re almost inseparable. He’s an amazing drummer for the age of seventeen, and I add nicely with vocals and the guitar. We formed a small band in the ninth grade, and regularly rehearse in someone’s garage.

“Dude, did you see that new chick?” I ask.

“Yeah, why? Who is she?”

“Her name’s Kat, she’s kinda cute.” I say.

“I didn’t get a good look, I’ll make sure to look next time though.” Max winks and laughs.

“What?” I ask.

“Dude, you have like ten hotties chasing after you as it is, and these chicks are smoking hot, and you think she’s cute?” He emphasizes the word cute.

“Forget I mentioned her, never mind. See you in fifth, I’m starving.”

As we head into the cafeteria two periods later, there has to be at least two hundred people carrying on, but she is there alone, sitting by herself. I can’t help but think how brave that is, I have never, and can’t even imagine what it feels like. She doesn’t seem to mind. She is easy to find, the way she dresses, her black hair stands out amongst the room of fake blondes.

I find myself wanting to go over and sit with her, keep her company while she eats, but I don’t. I watch her from a distance, figuring she’d probably just tell me to leave her alone. As I focus on Kat, Stephanie, my flavor of the month is groping me. I know Stephanie notices me watching Kat, but I don’t care. Stephanie is your typical seventeen year old girl, constantly trying to defy her parents, can’t get enough of me, or a few other guys for that matter. She’s good in bed, but that’s it. There are no lights on upstairs, I was surprised she made it to senior year.

She pulls my face to meet hers. “Why are you looking at the girl?” Her eyes narrow.

“What girl?”

“The one over there, with the black hair, that’s who?”

I shrug.

“Just wondering who she is, I haven’t seen her before, that’s all. She’s in World History with me.”

“Why?” She asks again.

I don’t want to answer any more of her pain in the ass questions, I reach over, grab her and kiss her to shut her up. As I pull away from Stephanie, still sitting there with her tongue practically hanging out, I notice Kat watching us. Then she makes a face, what looks like complete disgust, like I had just committed some mortal sin. She makes me more curious by the minute. I want...no, need to find out more.