Never Say Never (10 page)

The only thing I can think of it how can I get Kat to come watch. I can’t even think of the big white envelope with my name on the front staring me down. I’ve been waiting for this letter since I applied for enrollment. It’s here today, the letter from Colorado. If I get in, I’ll not only be going to my first choice, but I’ll be living within a half hour of my Dad.

I’m standing in my kitchen, holding the future in my hands. I know two things can happen: I get in, or I don’t. I’ve already been accepted to UCLA. Even though I don’t really want to go there, but it’s an alternative. I tear at the envelope, nervously. As I start to read the acceptance letter. I sit, running my hands through my hair. I’m pumped, as I read. I got in. I want to call my Dad and tell him the great news, but I hold my phone knowing who it is that I really want to tell. Only I can’t call her. I stare at it briefly, and hit the numbers.

“Dad, it’s me. I did it. I got in,” I say, as my eyes are still focusing on the word, congratulations.

“Way to go, Cam. I knew you would,” he tells me.

“I still can’t believe it.”

“It’s going to be great Cameron. I can’t wait to have you out here with me.”

“Yeah, I can’t wait either.”

“ I really can’t talk right now, so have your Mom send me the information that I need for tuition, all right?”

“No problem. I gotta jam now Dad,” I say, eager to practice a few songs.

Before we hang up I hear him say, “Congratulations.”

***

Half the school knows we’re playing on Saturday before Matt’s party. I swear if it weren’t for Matt, we would have no social life, and no place to hang out. The only thing I want more than anything was to see Kat at Matt’s. I want her to watch me play. The persuasion in not going to be easy, not unless Gabby can work some ultimate magic for me. Fingers crossed, I hope she can.

KAT

“But you have to come, everyone’s gonna be there,” Gabby says, through the phone.

“All the more reason not to go.”

She starts begging. “Please, pretty please. Do this for me? Max will obviously be there and I’m dying to see him play.

I sigh.

“Is that a yes?” She asks as her voice gets squeaky.

“Fine, what time?” I agree to go, not sure why I do, but I did.

I have to pull the phone from my ear as she lets out a scream of joy.

“I’ll come over at five to get ready. Then we can just walk over.”

I’m confused, “Why are we walking?”

“Duh, because the party. We can walk to Jimmy’s Grill and then go straight to Matt’s.” She pauses. “Y’know, I won’t drink and drive.”

“Oh, yeah. Matt’s party how could I forget?” I tease.

Okay, I’ve done my best to avoid Cameron at all costs. Tonight will be impossible. After several minutes of convincing myself that I’m only going along for Gabby, I jump in the shower. Deep down I’m curious to see Cameron sing. No one has ever seen them play, so it’s peaking my interest. I hate to admit it, but so does he.

The doorbell rings at exactly five. If she’s nothing, she’s punctual. I answer the door still in my sweats and T-shirt. I see her grinning through the glass door.

She looks me up and down, “I see we have a lot of work to do tonight.”

I tilt my head, “Gee, thanks,” I say, as I slam the door behind her.

She peers around the room, “Are your folks home?”

“No, my Dad’s not here.”

Oh, crap. Did she catch that?

“What about your Mom?”

Yep, she caught it. I really wish I would think before I speak. I’m getting way too comfortable with her. I didn’t know what else to say, it came out before I even thought it through.

“My parents are divorced,” I say, keeping my head down and focusing on the white marble tile. I’m seriously hoping she doesn’t press the issue, I hate sharing my personal life.

She looks at me, scrunching her nose. “You just live with your Dad?”

I shake my head, “Yeah. It’s a little complicated.”

Her eyebrows raise, but she just shrugs.

As we head to the staircase, she grabs my hand pulling me upstairs.

“This is gonna be so great, and maybe you and Cam....I cut her off. “Why the hell would you say that?”

“Kat, be nice. He really likes you, y’know.”

“I’m not interested, Gab.”

“Maybe you should be, he’s totally hot.” Like she needs to state the obvious. She adds, “And better yet, he’s got it bad for you.”

My eyebrows now furrowed, “How do you know all this?”

She shrugs, like it’s no big deal. “Because he told me, that’s why.”

“When?”

“I don’t know, last week.”

“And you’re just telling me this now?”

“I didn’t think it was a big secret. I mean, you do see him staring at you in lunch?”

I do, but I don’t answer.

She opens my closet, “Jesus, is this all you wear? Black, black and more black,” she says, as she flicks the hangers.

“What’s wrong with black?” I sneer.

Shit. Who is she to criticize my wardrobe? At least I don’t wear pink. I swear that’s the only color in her closet.

I hear her squeal, “Ahh, I found it.”

“Found what?”

She purses her lips, “A different color,” she says, as she pulls out my red tank.

“I’m not wearing that.”

She shoves it into my hands, “Oh, yes you are and that’s final.”

I roll my eyes, but take the shirt. “It’s too cold.”

“So wear a jacket.”

I’m ready in twenty minutes. After twenty more, Gabby is still perfecting her make-up. She’s softly brushing each and every eye lash with her mascara brush. I see her smile at her reflection.

“Ready,” she gleams.

CAMERON

We’ve already played two songs when I see her black hair and huge brown eyes, stroll around the corner, arm in arm with Gabby. I let out a sigh of relief. I know I’ll owe Gabby big time for this one. She did it, she got her here.

I’ve been nervous since we’ve started playing, but now I don’t even know if I can remember the words to the next song. I don’t even hear Max starting on the drums, I’m completely focusing on Kat. It’s not until Will nudges me with his foot to bring me back to reality. I scratch my forehead, trying to listen to the keys being played, and then it clicks.

I watch as they take a small table on the back of the patio under the heater. Which is probably good, because if I could see those eyes up close, I’d be sure to fuck up. I continue singing, looking in her direction. It’s hard not to look into them, they hypnotize me every time. Half the songs on the list we’ve been practicing are meant for her. They don’t know that, but it was all part of my plan. I continue to sing and stare, I see her look away. I realize this is all being noticed by every kid at school that’s here. Including the entire cheerleading squad that is cheering us on. I glance at Stephanie, not even sure why I do. Her face tells me she’s not happy that I’m pretty much serenading Kat. I don’t give a shit. I refocus on Kat. I catch another glimpse of those brown eyes and her mouth, singing along. I smile back at her. I can see Gabby whispering something in her ear. I wish for a complete second I could hear the response.

I save the final two songs that I really want her to hear for the end. The drums start and I do my best to keep her gaze on me. She does. Right now, I’m feeling pretty good about where this could possibly lead tonight. I knew if Gabby could just get her here, I could take care of the rest.

As I start to sing the final song, she stands up and starts to walk out.

Shit.

I watch as Gabby grabs her arm, trying to pull her back down into the chair. She doesn’t, she walks to the opening in the patio with Gabby trailing behind. Gabby turns to me, and mouths, “I’m sorry.”

Every ounce of me wants to run off the stage and grab her, but I can’t. I can only see the silhouette of her body as she continues to walk away.

KAT

“Where are you going?” Gabby yells out, trailing behind.

I don’t turn, I keep walking. “I don’t know. I just needed to get out of there.”

“I know what you need.”

“Oh, yeah. What’s that?” I ask, as she scurries to meet my steps.

“A party.”

I stop in my tracks and look at her, “You think I need a party?”

She’s stands facing me, “Yeah, Kat. Loosen up, will you? I need to go Matt’s tonight. Max will be there,” she reminds me.

I close my eyes, still hearing Cameron’s voice singing in the background. I know I have to go. She’s been a better friend than I could ask for. The hell with it, if you can’t beat them, join them.

“Let’s go back to my house first.”

She sighs. “Why?”

“Because I need a drink before I go there, that’s why.”

She looks surprised, but grabs my arm and twists it around hers. “Now you’re talking.”

We make our way back to my house, it’s empty. I look around for a note from my Dad. Still nothing. We head to Matt’s after two drinks of some God awful thing Gabby concocted. I’m feeling a little more confident as we make our way into his house. No doubt, the disgusting drinks I’d forced down my throat. I’m not a drinker, but today I’m upset. It’s March Thirtieth, my eighteenth birthday. I didn’t even get a “Happy Birthday Kat” from my Dad. He completely flaked out and is probably spending my birthday with Rebecca. How could he do this to me? This is a big fucking deal, I mean you only turn eighteen once.

The only redeeming quality of the day, is the weather. It’s unseasonably warm for this time of year. It’s this kind of weather that excites me. It’s not exactly flip flop weather, but it’s not too bad. We walk straight to the back, there is a keg perched in a big blue tub. Everyone at Jimmy’s Grill that had watched Cameron’s band is here, but they’re not. Yet.

The party is exactly what I expect it to be. The bleach blond rah rah’s are falling over every guy they can sink their claws into. Of course, they are eating it up like it’s their last day on earth. I don’t want to be here, and have to keep reminding myself, that I’m here for Gabby.

I’m feeling delightfully numb after she pours me a second beer. If I could wipe this day from my brain, I would. Right now, this is the only way I’m able to forget. I wish things were different. I wish my father remembered my birthday, to my mother being here, to never leaving Georgia. I chug the beer in three big gulps as these thoughts run through my mind.

“You might want to slow down, Kat. We just got here twenty minutes ago,” Gabby tells me, as she struggles to hold me steady.

I push her arm away. “I’m fine,” I slur.

I see her look past me, glaring.

“They’re here.”

“Who?”

She rolls her eyes. “Max, Cameron and Will,” she whispers so softly I almost can’t hear her.

I turn, Cameron is walking toward us.

His eyes go up as he approaches. “Hey, Kat. How’d you enjoy the music?”

I lean against the wall needing something to hold me steady.

“You have a great voice Cameron,” I say, slowly to make the words come out without slurring.

He scrunches up his nose. “Are you all right?”

I lean closer to the wall. “I’m great. How are you doing?”

“I’m good. I’m really glad you’re here,” he says, leaning in closer.

I try to back up, but the wall behind me won’t budge.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” He asks again.

“I said I’m fine,” I mumble.

He looks at Gabby, “Gab, don’t let her drink anymore.”

Who the hell is he to tell me I can’t drink? He’s not my father, lord knows he’s nowhere to be found.

I don’t hear Gabby’s response. I walk around him and into the kitchen, Cameron follows. I see Matt pouring shots into tiny glasses.

I walk up, grab one, and begin to put it to my lips, when I feel it pulled out of my hand.

“Kat, you don’t need that,” Cameron says.

I try to grab it from his hand, but he’s too tall and holding it up over his head.

“I say I do,” I tell him, as I reach around him grabbing a tiny glass on the counter, quickly downing the clear liquid. Oh crap, tequila.

I stumble my way around him, back to Gabby. The weight of the world has been completely erased from my mind for now and I want to dance. I haven’t let go, or felt this great in months. Tonight I don’t want to be the grown up. I want to be eighteen.

I walk up to Gabby, grabbing her arm. “I want to dance.”

She looks at me like I’m crazy. “Nobody dances at parties, Kat. You’re beyond wasted, maybe I should take you home,” she says, still looking at me like I had a screw loose.

“I said, I feel like dancing and that’s what I’m gonna do,” I shout out as I walk away.

I look around, she’s right, no one is dancing. I can’t for the life of me figure out why, the music is perfect. I kick off my shoes and pull myself onto the coffee table. I start swaying to the music. I can suddenly hear cheering and cat calls coming from behind me. I turn to see Matt and his cronies looking up at me, grinning. I think I hear someone say, “Take it off.”