Never Say Never (7 page)

I look straight at him, “Max, I need to know what you said to Kat.”

“Dude, I just told her that a lot of guys were after her, that’s it,” he says, like it’s no big deal.

“Those were your exact words?” I ask.

He shakes his head, “What’s wrong with you? I’ve never seen you so freaked about some chick before.”

“Max, I really like this girl. I mean really like her, y’know,” I tell him, as I push my hands through my hair.

“Well, what’s the problem? Go get her.”

“The problem is whatever the fuck you said to her, she won’t even talk to me,” I tell him.

“I don’t remember exactly what I said, but it was something along the lines of every senior’s mission,” he confesses.

“Including mine,” I ask.

“Well, I didn’t exactly exclude you, you are a Senior,” he reminds me.

“Great, Max you have no idea how hard this girl is, and now...shit!”

Ellie clears her throat to let us know she is walking toward us, so we both stop talking. “I gotta bounce,” I say, looking at both of them. Ellie? When did that one happen? Probably at the party that I missed.

Sunday proves useless. She doesn’t answer my calls, so I decide to step back for now. I was always going to her, I want her to want me as much as I want her. Lord knows I can’t get this girl out of my head, I picture her in my daydreams, as well as into the night about what it would be like to be with her, to experience the full Kat. I know I have to take my time with her, this girl has major trust issues, and I don’t want her to run. That is the only plan that I can come up with, time. If that’s what she needs, I am going to give her all the space she wants. I will let her come to me for once.

KAT

The butterflies in my stomach are in full swing as I walk into the school, toward first period. The last thing I want is to run into Cameron, so early in the morning. I know I can’t avoid seeing him in History. Thankfully that gives me a few periods to think about what to say to him, because I know he’ll want to talk.

I know it’s coming, but now when I see his six foot and then some walking my way, I don’t know what to do, how to act, or what to say. This is it, he’s looking for me. I should have known. There is nowhere for me to go in order to avoid him. So it surprises me that as we get closer, he keeps his eyes down on the floor and turns the corner. Wow, I guess Max was right, he told me everything I needed to know. I was a mission, plain and simple. One he wasn’t going to accomplish. So he has decided to move on. Good! I think?

I can’t help not paying attention in Chemistry, I keep going over it and over it in my head, seeing him walk away, turning the corner in the opposite direction of me. I was sure he was going to stop me and make a huge to do about everything. I guess he realized he wasn’t going to win me over so easily with his good looks, and amazing smile. Usually the day feels like it’s dragging along, but ironically today of all days it’s flying by. History next period, I have to face him, see him, and now the butterflies are churning in my stomach, doing flip flops like crazy. I hold my stomach trying to stop them, but realize quickly it’s not that easy to fix.

I walk in with my head held high, not looking toward the back of the classroom. I take my usual seat up front with Gabby and Matt. I can see out of the corner of my eye, Cameron is talking to this girl named Sabrina, not looking at me. Okay, if that’s the way he wants to play this, so be it. Two can play this game, it might give me something to do for the rest of the year. Mission, huh. Mission, my ass. I look over to Matt, knowing full well this guy will take the bait, even if I really don’t want him to.

“Psst. Matt, do you think you could drive me home today? The weather sucks outside,” I ask, pointing to the window, flipping my hair to one side. Ugh, is this is what I am sinking to, tossing my hair and flirting with assholes. Why the hell am I playing this game again? Oh, right...mission.

“Hell, yeah. I’ll meet you at your locker at three-fifteen,” he says, loud enough for everyone to hear. Ding, Ding, Ding, I think I just won round one. Now that I have Cameron’s attention because I know he heard, when I glance over my shoulder he looks straight through me. When he does, my body tenses into a tight ball.

I would have never done this in a million years, but I am really mad at him. Who the hell does he think he is? If he thought, he could turn on his charm, sing a song or some other crap to get in my pants he has another thing coming.

I dread walking to my locker and toward Matt, but he is there, waiting patiently for me to arrive.

“Hey,” I say.

He looks me up and down, “Hey, you ready to go?” He asks.

I look around, nothing. Cameron is nowhere. And why would he be? His locker is in the other wing, clear across school.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I reply.

I throw my bag over my shoulder, and start to walk toward the big steel doors, when I feel his hand go around my shoulder. Shit! I close my eyes, but keep walking, hoping Cam’s not waiting around in the parking lot to pounce. I don’t see the white shiny beamer, so all is well. What am I doing, if I do anything with this guy, the entire school will know tomorrow. Is this what I want? Not really, but what the hell you only have one life, might as well make it count.

He reaches over and grabs my hand as we pull into my driveway. “Can I come in?” He asks.

My brain freezes momentarily, trying to figure out what I’m supposed to say. I know I am supposed to say no, but I don’t.

“Sure, why not,” I smile, smugly.

A huge grin spreads across his face. I can tell he likes my answer.

The only thing I can think of is Cameron. Wondering if he will drive by and see Matt’s car in the driveway. That is what I am hoping for, only time will tell if he does.

Matt looks at the house, then back at me, “I had no idea you moved into Ben’s house?”

“Who’s Ben?” I ask.

“Just some guy we all used to hang out with, moved to Boston a few months ago,” he says, as he walks me to the door.

I throw my bags down on the foyer bench, and turn to look at him. “Can I get you anything to drink or eat?”

He smiles and shakes his head. “Not right now, how ‘bout a little tour?” He asks, still smiling. What’s with him and the tours line?

“Sure,” I say nervously.

I know where this is leading, yet I can’t stop my feet from moving from one room to another. We reach the stairs, and I stop.

“The upstairs is a mess, it’s just a bunch of bedrooms.”

He tilts his head, “Kat, do you really think I care if your room is a mess?”

He pushes my hair behind my ear, and pulls me up the stairs. What’s with guys constantly pushing the hair behind my ear? Do they think this works? Or, is my hair constantly a mess?

As we start to climb, he is still holding my hand, and I can’t stop shaking. As I bring him to my father’s bedroom, he stops me from entering. “Kat, I’m really only interested in your room.” I see him scanning the hallway as he pulls me toward the purple room, my room. He looks around.

“Are you a dancer?” He asks, as he looks at the ballet poster hanging from my wall.

I shake my head, “Was, not anymore.”

“Why not? You’ve got great legs,” he grins.

“It’s complicated,” I tell him.

He shrugs, but doesn’t push.

I see him walking toward my bed and he grabs the teddy bear that sits between my pillows. “Why don’t you come sit with me?”

I bite my lip softly, but walk over to him, wondering if he is one of the guys that has me on their senior mission list.

He scoots back against the pillow and pulls me in closer. He touches my face, then leans in to my mouth with his and kisses me. I’m not completely grossed out, because as I open my eyes I see Cameron’s face as I keep kissing Matt. For the life of me I don’t know why I’m letting this continue, but I am. As he reaches up my tee shirt, slowly moving his hand further, I push him away.

“Matt, I’m not ready for this, okay? I say, as I scratch my forehead.

He pulls back slightly, “What?”

“I don’t want to do this.”

I roll over and off the bed, standing in front of him.

He grabs my hand, “Why not? Kat, we’re just having some good old fashioned teenage fun here.”

I release his hand, “This isn’t my idea of having fun.”

He sighs, “All right, what do you want to do?” he asks.

“Nothing. I’ve got a ton of homework to do, so you should probably get going, okay?”

Please leave, please leave, is going through my head as I wait for his response.

“You know you’re the one who asked for the ride Kat, not me.” The smile is gone from his face.

“I know.”

“So what’s up?” He shrugs, “I thought you liked me or something.”

“I like you fine, but this is a little fast. I’m sorry.”

He groans, obviously not happy with me.

“Sure, I gotta get going anyway.”

He jumps up, running his fingers through his sandy blonde wavy hair, kisses me on the cheek, and walks out. When I hear the front door slam behind him, I let out the air that I’ve been holding the entire time. Phew!!

Jesus, what the hell was I thinking? I’m sure this will be all over school before first period even starts. I really want to get back at Cameron, but this is just not me.

CAMERON

It’s the end of February and I still am not talking to Kat. It’s spread through the locker room like wild fire. Matt and Kat, hooked up a few weeks ago. I don’t want to believe it, but by the way the two of them sit together in History and flirt, I have to assume it’s true. Granted, Matt is the one doing the majority of the flirting, but Kat seems to welcome it with her smile. Either that or she’s trying to piss me off. Which by the way, she’s doing a slam dunk job.

As hard as I try to pretend that she doesn’t get to me, I know it’s not completely unnoticed. Max constantly continues to give me shit for staring at her in the cafeteria. I want to tell her, Max is just full of crap about the senior mission comment, but truth be told, every senior did want her, and I am no exception. The only difference is, I look at her more as wanting her to be my girl, not some piece of ass to enjoy for one night.

Every time I see her, my heart literally feels like it’s going to stop, and I can’t erase the image of her out of my head. I think about her all the time. I have no idea if they’re still hooking up, but if they are, they don’t show it publicly.

Matt’s a big mouth, and no stories have been heard from him since the first time he let it spill. It’s driving me crazy not knowing. I decide right there and then that I need to talk to Matt after History.

I grab his arm as he heads out of class, and pull him aside.

“Hey, man. What’s going on between you and Kat?” I ask.

“Not much, not that I’m not trying bro, she’s a tough one to crack.” He tilts his head and looks at me. “Dude, don’t waste your time, she’s a tease,” he adds.

“Yeah, I’ll remember that.”

As he walks away, shaking his head, I lean up against the locker and take a deep breath. There’s still a chance. A tease, well at least I know nothing went down between the two of them, because if it did, he would have told me. If something were going on, I don’t know how I would have reacted to that news.

Two more weeks have gone by, and the weather is breaking, it’s the second week of March. Everyday she waltzes in, without paying me any regard, yet I still want to talk to her, feel those lips again. I don’t even know what I can say, “Hey Kat, I know the other seniors are assholes, but I’m not, trust me.” Like she might buy that, but why can’t she? I’ve done nothing wrong, other than think of her in ways that are probably illegal in several states.

I can’t sleep, all I can see is her walking through the halls in her jeans, and tight shirts, her smoking body clouds my head as I lay in bed. I don’t know why I’m doing this to myself, but I am. I need to try one more time. I pull out my guitar, even though it’s one in the morning and start playing a song that reminds me of her. I sing softly and as the words come out of my mouth. Somewhere in between singing and thinking of Kat, I get an idea. I know what I need to do to win this girl over.

KAT

It’s Friday and the eighth month anniversary of my mom leaving me. Well, us. Although my Dad doesn’t seem too sad over it, and is completely preoccupied with Rebecca. I on the other hand, feel a breakdown coming on any minute, and have no desire to get up. The snooze on the clock is buzzing in my ear, pulling me out of my thoughts. I turn to hit it off, and pull myself up and out from the safety of my warm and super cozy bed.

The heat of the shower pouring over me, peels a layer of sadness away as I wash my hair, but as my thoughts creep back to my mother, the acid just churns in my stomach making me feel sick. I can only think of what my life could have been like if our family was together and still living in Savannah.