Never Say Never (18 page)

KAT

I’m standing in front of the long mirror attached to my closet, hyperventilating. Two reasons are the cause of my panic: One I know tonight is going to be “the night.” And two, I’ll be on a plane with Cameron heading to Colorado in a few short weeks. I still couldn’t believe my Dad agreed to that one. Somewhere deep inside of me I knew I probably had Rebecca to thank for that one.

It’s prom night and I feel like I’m about to have an outer body experience like no other. I know most girls make appointments at the local salon to get all dolled up, but that’s just not me. What do I do? I do everything myself. My eyeliner doesn’t seem to want to cooperate, the blush goes on way too heavy and after curling my hair it looks horrible. Last minute ditch effort, I pull it all up in a loose twist and wash all the make-up off my face and start from scratch. It’s takes me two whole hours to get ready to make myself as perfect as I can.

“Wow...you look amazing Kat,” my father says, as I walk down the staircase.

“Really?”

“Yes, wait until that boyfriend sees you. You’re going to knock him off his feet.”

“But, what do you think of the color? I don’t usually do lavender.”

“Trust me, Kat. You look amazing.”

I reach up, kissing him on the cheek.

“Thanks, Daddy.”

“You do remember the conversation we had earlier, right?”

“Of course.”

“Kat, be careful tonight. It wasn’t that long ago when I was taking a girl to the senior prom.”

“Ewww, stop it. I CANNOT have this conversation again,” I say throwing my hands up into the air.

I’m sweating bullets when I see him walking up the brick path. I look a little different from what he’s used to. My hair is up, make-up on, and I’m standing by the door in a lavender gown, not black. What he expects to see me in, and I can tell by his expression when his eyes finally catch sight of me, he’s caught off guard. My father opens the door, he looks ridiculously handsome in his tuxedo. He’s too quiet, as he stares.

He moves forward and kisses my cheek and then whispers in my ear,“you look amazing.”

I let out the breath that I was holding, “Thanks, you’re not to shabby yourself.”

“Umm, I thought you’d be in black. The corsage isn’t gonna match. Is that okay?” He asks fumbling with the little box. Red and white are peeking out from it.

“It’s fine, beautiful in fact,” I say placing it on my wrist. I can care a less if it matches. It’s from him and that’s all that matters. After I pin the white rose on his lapel, I smile.

After a few photos that my father insists on taking, we walk out and into the big black limousine parked out front. I know we won’t be alone for long. I somehow persuaded Max to take Gabby since he and Ellie are not seeing each other anymore. Will is going with a junior named Mandy. The threesome band all together, promising to sing the entire way.

He pulls me in so that I’m practically sitting on his lap, even though the limo holds ten. We still have to swing by to pick up the others and to his house for photos. He starts nibbling on my neck, “I can’t believe you didn’t wear black.”

I tilt my neck, “Why? You don’t like it?” I ask nervously.

“I like it...I promise. In fact, right now I want to forget about everyone else, and prom. I want to head straight to the hotel and keep you all to myself. And as far as that dress, the only thing I can think of right now is how badly I want to take it off.”

I laugh. “You wish.”

He says, “I do. We’re set for tonight, right?”

“Yeah, he thinks I’m staying with Gabby.”

He’d kill me or at least punish me till college for sure this time. But, it was a risk worth taking.

CAMERON

I’m speechless when I look at her. I’m completely mesmerized by the way she looks. First, because she looks more beautiful than I ever thought possible. Second, because the color of her dress surprises me. I was certain she’d go with her standard black, but that shade of purple looks amazing on her. She should definitely wear it more often.

The ride into Oak Brook was slightly irritating, because I completely regret getting a limo for the six of us. Right now, I only want to be alone with her and skip everything else. I’m focusing on Kat as Max passes a bottle of vodka to me. Kat makes a funny face as I take a swig from the bottle. I start to pass it to her, but she holds her hand up. “No thanks.”

I hear Gabby say, “What’s wrong? It’s prom, have a little.”

Kat says, “Not tonight. I want to be sober.”

“For what?” Max asks with suspicion in his voice.

“I just want to remember everything about tonight, that’s all,” Kat replies as she rests her hand on my thigh, squeezing lightly.

I know what she’s referring to, because I know I want to remember everything that’s going to happen later as well. She agreed to spend the night with me. Her father was spending the night downtown with his girlfriend. He thinks she’s bunking up with Gabby for the night. I quietly think that I need to thank her father someday for this one.

As the prom begins, I watch as she dances on the floor with Gabby and Mandy. I’m standing in the corner when she catches me with her eyes that send shivers through my entire body. She looks like she just stepped off some model runway, teasing me with her moves.

I make my way over to her, grabbing her hand and pull her into me. “Let’s dance,” I say, as I pull her in, wrapping my hands around her waist.

“It’s about time. I though maybe my date couldn’t dance.” She teases as she drapes her arms around my neck. She grips me tighter, which is okay with me.

Tonight I have her exactly where I want her, feeling like I could stay this way forever. I lean down resting my chin on the nape of her neck, as I kiss her collarbone.

“After this song, do you want to go?” I only ask, because I’m not sure I can handle being this close to her, without ripping off the dress she’s wearing.

She stops dancing, as she pulls back, she says, “We haven’t even taken the picture yet.” She kisses my lips, “After the picture, okay?”

Should I tell her that I can forget about the stupid picture, or tell her that right now, the only thing I can think of is seeing what’s underneath that dress?

“No problem.”

When the song is over, I pull her to the photographer to get the picture that she wants.

“Ready?”

“How are we going to get there?”

“The limo.”

“How are we getting home tomorrow?”

“My car is already at the hotel. It’s fine.”

She reaches up kissing my lips, which I get lost in for that brief moment.

“Let me say good-bye to Gabby.”

I nod and walk over to Max and Will.

“Hey man, we’re out of here,” I say as I smack him on the back. I’ll send the ride right back.”

I start to walk away when I hear him hell, “Have fun, man.”

***

We’re in the room, the bed is all white with huge fluffy pillows. Kat’s been in the bathroom for over twenty minutes, I can’t figure out for the life of me what she’s doing in there. I’ve waited for this night for months, and now it’s here and I’m scared to death. I know I need to make this perfect, but my hands are sweaty and for the first time I’m nervous. I want her more than anyone I’ve ever wanted and now I’m not even sure if I can go through with it.

I lay down on the bed, tossing my jacket to the side, skimming through the room service menu, when she walks out. I can’t take my eyes off of her, because when she comes into view, her dress is gone. I’m looking at her, walking toward me in her matching lavender bra and panties. She turns the lights off, but there is some light coming through the window. My eyes follow her silhouette as she moves closer toward the bed. That’s it, this is my undoing as she kneels onto the bed on all fours. She’s more perfect than anyone else.

I can’t move, I’m completely frozen as she kneels into the me, taking control of the situation. I barely feel her hand as she grazes my cheek. I’m numb. The only thing I can hear is my breathing as her lips press against mine. My hands start to roam, moving up and down her body. Right now I can only think of the fact that I’m holding onto the one thing I never want to let go of.

I place my hands around her face. “I love you,” I whisper in ear.

She smiles. “I love you, too.”

I kiss her softly a few more minutes as I realize this is a huge deal for her. I’m nervous to ruin her first time. She parts my lips as she intensifies the kiss. I’ve fantasized about this moment for months now, seeing her almost naked, lying next to me.

My nerves takes over. “Are you sure?”

Her voice is calm as she says, “I’ve never been so sure.”

I cradle her face in my hands. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

She whispers, “You couldn’t. I trust you.”

I mumble, “It’s your first time, I might.”

She leans down closer. “I’m not afraid. It’s okay.”

She reaches down, unbuttoning my pants. I slip them off.

As she unlatches her bra, a shrilling ring comes from across the room.

“Your phone is ringing,” I say.

Talk about a mood breaker.

“Just let it go to voicemail, it’s probably Gabby.”

We both ignore it. It’s hard not to as she places my hand around her waist.

I lean over to my coat pocket, hanging over the bed, reaching in for one of the dozen condoms I brought. Not sure how many that we would need. I rip it open, hoping to God I get this right.

She’s lying on her back underneath me as I lean in kissing her neck.

“You’re sure about this right?”

“Yes, Cameron. I’m fine, I’m more than fine.”

When we begin, I search for any signs of pain I might be causing her, there’s none. Only soft moans coming from her mouth and mine. As she traces her fingers down my back, the emotional side of me gets the best of me. I start to choke up as I trace the lining of her face.

“I don’t think I can ever let you go,” I whisper through my ragged breath.

She pulls my lips back to hers, stopping me from speaking any further. I’m totally fine with that, especially when her tongue meets mine. My heart rate quickens when she says, “I don’t want you to let me go.”

Never in a million years would I have thought, that I could find the one girl that I want lying next to me forever at eighteen. I need this girl in my life, anyway she’ll have me.

***

The phone ringing on the bedside table wakes us up in the middle of the night. I’m groggy, as I answer. From the other end of the phone I hear, “I assume this is Cameron? This is Rebecca Shields...I need to speak to Kat.”

“Yeah, sure hold on a minute.”

Kat is sitting up with the sheet pulled up, staring into my eyes.

“Who is it?”

I rub my hands through my hair thinking a million different things. “It’s for you,” I say handing her the phone.

She whispers, “Who is it?” As he places her hand on top of the receiver.

My brow furrows, “It’s your Dad’s girlfriend.”

She doesn’t respond, she just holds onto the phone, biting her nail before pulling it up to her ear.

“Hello.”

There’s a brief pause before she speaks again, “What are you talking about? What’s wrong with my Dad?”

I watch her face as the tears start to fall from them, she doesn’t wipe them away.

She says, “I’m leaving, now,” as she throws the phone on the bed.

She runs to the bathroom, without speaking. I’m terrified to ask her what happened. The only thing I can figure out is that something happened to her father. The entire night, our perfect night, comes to a screeching halt.

She comes back fully dressed, I am too. She’s still crying when she says, “Can you please take me home? It’s my Dad...I’m not sure what’s wrong.”

I walk over to her, wiping them as they fall from her eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know yet. I can’t take it if someone else leaves me,” She says sobbing.

“Is your Dad, okay?” I stumble on each syllable, afraid of the answer.

“She says he needs me, something is wrong. I can feel it.”

“Kat, it’s okay,” I tell her as I grab her bag, grabbing her hands and pulling her into the hallway.

KAT

Cameron pulls into the driveway and turns to me, “Do you want me to come with you?”

I don’t answer, I shake my head.

He picks up my hand, as he kisses it, he says, “Call me if you need anything...okay?”

I nod again, completely numb.

I watch him pull out and drive away, my stomach churning inside of what might happen when I walk into the house. I want to yell out and ask him to stay, but he’s gone.