Exposed: Book One of The Love Seekers Series (28 page)

She tilted her head to the side and her frown deepened. “Dog? Curley? He’s at day camp today. I’ve been a little weak today, so Mel came by, picked him up, and took him to doggie daycare while I slept a little long. I barely remember her showing up.”

Even talking about her dog hadn’t loosened her up. I wanted to give her an escape, or if she didn’t feel up to leaving, then we could stay at her apartment and order in. I knew of countless restaurants that delivered, but I didn’t want to leave her alone. I told myself that it was because of her present condition, but it might have been more than that. “Are you sure you’re up for going out? We can stay in…” My words tapered off when her bewildered expression turned to what appeared to be anger. What the fuck did I do now? “Em?”

“I’m fine.” Those two words came out again in a clipped tone. I didn’t believe she was “fine” at all.

              I sucked in a breath and raked my fingers through my hair in frustration. I fought the urge to yell at her, to demand she tell me what the fuck was wrong with her. Words stuck in my throat when I noticed how red her cheeks had turned, how the defiant glimmer in her eyes transferred to her body daring me to deny her words, and how she couldn’t quite meet my gaze. When she looked at me, her eyes would land anywhere except mine. Why did she look embarrassed? I wouldn’t become like one of the others who she pushed away to protect herself, and at the same time, I wouldn’t tear her down or hurt her. I couldn’t. “What’s going on?”

              “Nothing. Let me get my purse and then we can go.”

              She straightened up and took a step away from the breakfast bar, and the blush on her cheeks intensified. When she tried to brush past me, I wouldn’t let her. I did not want to be shut out. My parents shut me out. My first long term relationship started to shut me out and she wound up cheating on me. Emma was the last person on earth I wanted to shut me out.

              Putting a hand on her walker, I begged, “Em, talk to me.”

              “It’s nothing.”

              “Come on. We talk about everything. It’s what we do. What’s wrong?” It gutted me to see her shoulders sag and a long tear fall down her cheek, leaving a wet trail in its wake.

              Ignoring the tear, she spoke softly, “Maybe it’ll be better if I don’t go.”

              “That’s fine if you want to stay in. We can order—”

              “NO! I meant, you go and I stay.”

              Those words created a panic in me, and I pulled her into my arms, her walker pressing into my thighs, creating a small barrier between us. My hand rubbed her back in circles in an attempt to sooth her enough to pry her thoughts and feelings out of her. “Talk to me, honey. What’s going on in that head of yours?” My question became her undoing. The tears she’d been holding back, gushed out of her, soaking my shirt. My panic grew. “Em, you have to talk to me, baby, or I won’t know how to fix this.”

              Her body tensed up again, and she tried to push me away with one hand while holding onto her walker with the other. “Fix this? You can’t fix this, Bryan. Is that what you’ve been trying to do? Fix me? Fix the broken woman who can’t walk without assistance, who has a hard time finding her own dates? You want to fix me? You can’t fucking fix me! I’m unfixable!”

              “Em…” She backed up a step, and would’ve fallen if I hadn’t reached out and grabbed her again. “Be careful.”

              Shaking her head, she shrugged my hands off of her. “Thank you, but I’m fine and I don’t need fixing. You can’t…MG can’t….MG is incurable.” Her voice caught and my heart twisted with the pain reflected in her eyes. The same pain I heard in her voice as she continued. “I’m incurable. Just go. Please.”

              “I don’t think so.” Scooping her up in my arms, her walker clattered to the ground as I carried her to the couch and sat down. “Talk to me,” I insisted.

              “She sat there like a petulant child longer than I liked, however, she finally took a deep breath, wiped her face with her hands, and stared straight ahead down the hall, away from me. When she finally spoke, she sniffled and an occasional hiccup interrupted her words. “If you’re here to fix me, it won’t work.”

              I hated how defeated and lost she sounded, but I kept my mouth shut and started to rub her back again. I had a feeling she wasn’t done.

              “When I was diagnosed with MG, I kept reading about remission, but then my doctor told me that it only happened in a few cases, and no one ever goes into permanent remission. This disease isn’t like the flu, where I’ll get better. I won’t. And it isn’t like cancer where some are healed and it never comes back. You can’t fix me.” Silent tears fell down her cheeks, dripping onto her shirt.

              “I’m not here to fix you,” I admitted. Evan’s words came back to haunt me then. It wasn’t her situation I wanted to fix. I knew MG could not be cured, but I wanted to help her overcome the things that held her back.

              Her head whipped around to look at me. Her eyes narrowed as she studied me in silence as if she were trying to put together a puzzle, and trying to figure out where all the pieces fit. She must have found what she sought because she finally asked, “Why are you here?”

              I came to stop her from talking to Chad, but it was more than that. I had to be there for her, and I had no fucking clue why I needed to see her, be there, or help her. Somewhere between the night we started talking and now, it had changed from wanting to help someone just for the hell of it, to needing to do this for her. Only for her. “Because you are an amazing woman and I want to see you get the man of your dreams.” Something flitted across her face, but it left as quickly as it came.

              “I’m a cluster fuck of a mess,” she finally said.

              “You are, but you’re still cute and likeable.” Another flitter of an expression I could not place that appeared and disappeared almost instantaneously. I almost asked, but stopped myself before the words escaped. Somehow I knew, I didn’t want to hear the meaning behind the expression.

“I am?” Her voice sounded doubtful, and yet hopeful at the same time. If anyone deserved to find the right guy, to have someone love them, it was Emma.

              Grinning, I lifted my hand and mused her hair ever further. “Yeah, you are. Now go brush your hair, grab your purse, and let’s go.” In truth, Emma was probably one of the most genuine and beautiful people I had ever met. She could make those around her laugh, and also offered them comfort when they needed it, and took none for herself. In this world, she felt alone and had it in her head that no one would ever want her, but I didn’t buy it. I didn’t believe that there was no one out there who would want her. This girl was a catch, and I would prove it to her.

Chapter 28

Bryan

Taking Emma out in public, beyond driving directly to the airport and back, proved to be an eye opening experience that left me scratching my head more than once.

After pulling out of my parking spot in her apartment complex, I headed straight for downtown and informed her, “I have to run by my buddy’s gym, and then we can grab some grub. Is that okay with you?”

“Uh, sure,” she mumbled from her seat, only briefly glancing my way before she began staring out the window again.

Needless to say, I again wondered if we should’ve stayed at her place and ordered in. Our last outing had been perfect, in a non–date kind of way. Seeing the smile on her face, the way her whole body lit up when she realized we were going skydiving, had been breathtaking and euphoric. And knowing I put that smile on her face, made me feel like I was a king amongst men.

Maybe I was willing to admit she tugged at my heart strings a tiny bit. But after getting to know her, I deemed it impossible not to develop some sort of feelings for her. I could accept that about myself and my emotions, but only that.

Emma had a sharp mind that liked to challenge society and people, curves that made a man’s tongue hang out, and a quick wit that could cut a lesser person down to size. Her personality welcomed everyone, even though she kept most at arm’s length. She desired love, wanted to be loved, but she had convinced herself that she would never get it, and in turn, she gave up her search. The world saw her smiling face, not knowing on the inside she cried and railed against the injustices befallen her. She carried the weight of the world on her shoulders, and yet, never complained because she would rather suffer than see someone else endure the hardships she faced. A walking poetic contradiction, who completely captivated me.

When we reached the gym, I gave her a choice. “I don’t know how long I’ll be, but it shouldn’t be too long. Want to come with me or stay here?”

Her eyes darted to the back seat, seeking her walker. Not to use though, if her glare were any indication. No, she quietly cursed it, and for some reason, that amused me. Chuckling, I covered my mouth when her glare turned onto me. “No one will say anything. Come on. I want you to meet my buddy,” I pressed, unsure why I wanted her to come in and meet him when I initially put the ball in her court.

“I don’t know.”

“Your choice.” She looked doubtful about that, but a small smile still appeared on her lips. I would take it. Anything was better than her glare or blank expression. “Well?” I drew out my L’s a little longer, and she snickered at my antics.

Rolling her eyes, she nodded. “Fine. You win.” Her giggle told me her irritation was nothing more than a mere pretense at this point.

“Usually do.” I shot her a wink.

“Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me,” quipped Emma, as she pushed my shoulder. I loved our verbal sparring whether it be on FaceSpace or in person.

It took no time to grab her walker, help her out of the car, and guide her into the building. The moment we stepped through the glass double doors, the lone man standing behind the counter gave her the once over from head to toe. His eyes missed nothing, and I assumed by his actions, that he didn’t know the definition of subtle. Glancing down at her, she remained completely oblivious to his perusal. Interesting. How many guys had checked her out, only to miss out on something because she never realized it? I apparently needed keep my eyes open and remain alert around this woman.

“I’m here for Brandon,” I announced, watching the man like a hawk.

His gaze dropped as soon as we approached him. Would he keep watching her, or would he begin to ignore her? If he chose the latter, what kind of man did that make him? Openly staring at a girl who obviously walked in with another guy. Did this guy care about that at all? Something inside told me he could care less and it mattered not who escorted her. That irritated the fuck out of me. How dare he?

I stopped. My job was to help Emma find someone who wanted her, and this man most certainly wanted her. So much so, I could almost see the drool pooling on the countertop.

“Let me page him for you.” He gave me a winning smile and then his eyes covertly darted back toward Emma. They didn’t linger too long this time with me standing right there, but they did remain on her for a second or two.

What was it about this guy that made me want to beat my chest and tell him he better damn well back the fuck off? I didn’t know him, therefore, he might be the perfect man for her, except I saw his faults. Like, why was he still trying to check her out? I had placed my hand in the small of her back and her body naturally leaned toward me slightly. That should have been an indicator that she was unavailable, and yet, it didn’t deter him one iota. If anything, he appeared to be even more interested, which meant he was one of those guys.

Men knew other men. And this one I labeled a lurker. He lurked in the shadows, not caring if the girl had a significant other or not. If he wanted her, he tried to get her. And from what I had seen already, he wanted Emma.

              Before I could say or do anything, Brandon made his appearance and asked me to follow him. After a quick introduction, Emma decided to stay in the reception area and have a seat. I had to leave her alone with the lone wolf and that did not sit well with me. However, the fact she remained practically blind to his interest, gave me a small level of relief about leaving her alone.

              I glared at the other man before dropping my gaze to her. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?”

              “Nah. You two do whatever you came here to do and I’ll wait here.”

              “Fine, but if you need me, tell them to page me. I shouldn’t be too long.”

              “Yeah, yeah. Go already. The longer you stall, the longer it will be before I get food, and I’m starting to feel puckish. Plus, I have to pick Curley up tonight no later than seven.”

              “You do realize that it’s only two in the afternoon?”

              “So? The longer you dawdle, the closer to seven it gets.” She chortled with a wink.

              Secretly, I hoped it appeared we were flirting so the other man would back off. “Dawdle? I haven’t heard that since my grandma.”

              “What can I say? I’m from Texas.”

              “No, you’re a Navy brat who landed in Texas.”

              “And things rub off. Any other stupid arguments?” she deadpanned.

              I was certain she did not mean it the way it sounded, however, my cock interpreted it the way it wanted to and twitched. Swallowing the spit that had collected in my mouth, I plastered on a smirk and took a menacing step forward. “I wouldn’t be opposed to things…
rubbing off.
”

              Her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink, her mouth opened and closed, and when she finally recovered, she slapped my shoulder with one hand. “In your dreams. Now go away and take care of business.”

              “Not with him,” I joked.

              “Not even going there with you.”

              “Awe, honey. You wound me.”

              “I’ll wound you when I ram my walker into you and use my cane as a battering ram on your nether region.”

              “Nether region?” I began laughing, and finally conceded. “Fine. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” The teasing was innocent enough—kind of—but the receptionist didn’t need to know that. Leaning down, I kissed the top of her head and whispered, “Be right back.” From the moment I left her, I felt anxious to get back to her.

              “You all right, Bry?” Brandon asked, his brows lifted in inquiry.

              I scratched my chest and nodded. “Yeah.”

              “New girlfriend?”

              “What? No, she’s just a friend.” I tried to laugh it off, but it sounded fake to my own ears.

              “Friend with benefits?”

              “God no!” I hissed harshly. Maybe too harshly. “Seriously, Brandon, nothing more than a friend.”

              “Holding up his hands in surrender, he chuckled. “Got it.”

              “I…uh…I actually brought her up here to meet you.”

              “Me? Why?” His confused expression marred his normally grinning face. Brandon loved his gym, and I wholeheartedly believed he got off on torturing his clients.

              “She’s nice, pretty, local—”

              He interrupted. “Are you trying to sell me on her or introduce us?”

              “What’s that supposed to mean?” It was my turn to look confused, an expression I was becoming all too familiar with lately.

              “Look, dude. You do realize she has a walker, right?”

              “And? She doesn’t use it all the time. Sometimes she’s okay with a cane.”

              “Cane…” His voice trailed off before he found it again. “Does she need therapy or something? Is that why you wanted to introduce us?”

              “What? No, nothing like that. She has something called myasthenia gravis. Therapy won’t help.”

              “What the fuck is that?”

              “Some disease kind of like MS or muscular dystrophy.”

              He had started pacing after his last question and haled in his tracks. Spinning around slowly, he commented, “Actually, some therapy will help so that her muscles don’t atrophy, but why me?”

              “You’re a nice guy, and last I heard, you were looking for love.” I grinned widely, ignoring the pang in my chest that warned me I would not like what came next.

              “Have you completely taken leave of your senses?”

              “What?” The warning bells rang loudly and my hands slowly clenched into fists instinctively.

              Closing his eyes, Brandon shook his head back and forth sighing. “Look, I’m sure she is a nice girl, but she isn’t the girl for me.”

              “How do you know if you don’t know her?”

              “I know. Call me shallow and all that shit, but I don’t think I could date someone like her.”

              “Like her…?
Oh.”
I should have listened to the warnings my subconscious tried to give me. Previous conversations I’d had with Emma came to mind and along with my first talk with Evan. And in that moment, I understood everything. I could call Brandon shallow, but I had done the same thing once upon a time, and so had Evan. So could I really fault him for saying and thinking the way he did? I wondered–not for the first time–if mine and Emma’s situations had been different, if we had met under different circumstances, would things be different for us? If she hadn’t been a friend to Mel, would I have given her the time of day? If I were the one sick, would she have ignored me? I didn’t think she would’ve, but I would‘ve ignored her.

              Brandon’s sheepish expression made me want to punch him, but I couldn’t. He had done nothing wrong, but I still felt horrible for Emma. Then again, somewhere deep inside me, I felt a little relieved that he didn’t want to pursue her. “I got it.”

              “Come on then. That protein powder I want you to try is in my office. If you like it, let me know and I’ll get some shipped out to you.”

              “Thanks, man.”

              “Too bad you aren’t stationed here. I could be like old times. Hitting the clubs, picking up girls…having a good time and getting shit–faced.”

              The thought of that no longer appealed to me in the least. “Yeah, maybe.”

              “Hey.”

              “What?”

              “Why don’t you date her?” His lips had pulled up in a lecherous smirk.

              “Not my type.” Looking anywhere but him, I gave him my patented answer, the same one I gave everyone else that asked. And that included myself.

              “See? That’s what I’m saying. You want to pawn her off, but you don’t like the fact she’s handicap.”

              My head snapped back and my gaze landed on him. “I never said that.”

              “You didn’t have to.”

              A scowl formed on my faced and it intensified the more I listened to him. “Now you’re talking shit.”

              “No, think about it. You don’t even want to date her. Why? I mean most people wouldn’t want to date someone like that. She could be fucking Miss America with the best personality on the planet, but that shit is hard to get past. You know what I mean?”

              “No, I don’t know. She’s like my sister, and that’s all I see. When I say she’s not my type, I mean only that. Not my type. Walker or cane, it wouldn’t matter to me.” Of course my perception had only recently changed since getting to know Emma, but he didn’t have to know that.

              “Sorry, dude. Look, here’s the powder, and if you want me to get to know her and keep an eye on her for a while, I will. But I’m telling you now, nothing is going to happen between us. Besides, I met someone last night.

              I attempted to give him a friendly smile and shove, and if it happened to be a little harder than necessary, oh well. “Good for you. Why didn’t you say so to begin with?”