Exposed: Book One of The Love Seekers Series (36 page)

“Books?”

“I have a sister. She made me read some romance novels with her, but I don’t want to talk about her.” Lifting himself from where he lay beside me, he hovered over me and whispered, “Tonight is about us.” He kissed me again. Would I ever get enough? For the first time in my life, I felt insatiable when it came to a man.

His fingers swept over my breasts, pebbling my nipples. His touch felt like pure electricity on my skin. I wanted more, and he gave it to me. His calloused palm scratched my sensitive skin as he cupped my breast. I gasped. A simple touch ignited me more than ever before, but this was no simple man and neither were my feelings for him. That had the power to change everything. I loved Bryan, which made anyone from my past melt away into nothing.

Well, that and the way he licked my neck with his teeth nipping me in all the right spots. It was like he knew all of my erogenous zones. And after every nip, his lips kissed the mark he had left, making me shudder each and every time. At that point, I was on the verge of coming and I hadn’t been touched yet.

My own hands lifted to touch his chest, and I scraped my fingernails over his own nipples. The hiss that came from his lips was music to my ears. Lower and lower, my hands wanted to feel every inch of him, but they were impatient to get inside his shorts. Before I could dip my hand into his waistband, his tongue moved down my neck and he took my left nipple into his mouth to suckle as his hand played with the right. Thoroughly distracted, I grabbed his head and held him closer. My nipples had always been sensitive, but the way his tongue moved, I didn’t want the sensation to end. The talent in that mouth might make me come without any other stimulation.

My body arched upwards to get closer at the same time I held his head down, pressing his mouth to me. Moans escaped as I laid there panting. My hips undulated, fucking the air searching for my release. They would have probably found him, but his lower half lay beside mine, and therefore, out of reach. Bryan’s mouth pushed me toward the precipice, and just when I thought I would fall over, he pulled back and kissed me. He would not let me come off of my high for too long before his lips left mine and moved to the other nipple. His mouth worked me up until I wanted to shatter into a million pieces. I could see that white light, I could feel it built…and then he stopped.

“No!” I cried out.

“Baby, we have all night. I plan on savoring you and making you orgasm so many times, you’ll forget your own name.”

“Big promises coming from someone I’m not sure can deliver.” I teased him, hoping if I toyed with him long enough, we could get back to where we were—right on the edge of coming.

“Oh, I plan on delivering.” He smirked.

And he proceeded to prove to me that he had the skills to back up his words.

Kissing his way down my stomach, my muscles clenched in both pleasure and anticipation. In my haze of desire, I never felt him strip me completely. I only realized my body lay there naked when I felt his lips on the inside of my hips where my thigh and groin met. First the right, and then the left. Kiss and lick. Fuck, my previous level of desire couldn’t compare. I burned for him, because of him. Each kiss, each lick, each touch made me wetter for him.

I whimpered for more, and he obliged. Moving to my pussy, he kissed one side of it then the other. Each kiss and lick brought him closer to my clit, and when he finally reached it, his tongue pressed against the nub, and he flicked it. I almost jumped off the bed from the sensation. His hands grabbed my hips, holding them exactly where he wanted them.

I was well on my way, and it didn’t take much. Suck, lick, pressure, rubbing my clit with his tongue, focusing on bud, and within minutes, I cried out when my orgasm engulfed me.

Even after he pushed me over the edge into one of the strongest orgasms I’d ever experienced, he didn’t stop his ministrations. I heard a small chuckle, the vibrations stimulated my already sensitive clit more.
Damn!
I was almost ready to come again. One of his hands moved to my pussy, and he slid a finger inside me, pushing me toward another climax. His tongue moved lower and it entered my core along with his finger. I screamed. Another finger. Two fingers pumped into my hole, he curled them upwards while sucking on my clit. Everything exploded as I climaxed a second time.

Exhausted and tired, I could already feel my muscles fighting me, but I still wanted more. “Bryan, I need you. Please.”

“Condom?” It took a minute for his words to penetrate the haze of pleasure.

I hadn’t had sex since before I got sick, but for some reason, my sister thought I should keep a box of condoms in my nightstand, and bought me some a year ago. At the time, I rolled my eyes and humored her. Tonight, I thanked her for the foresight. Pointing toward the left side of the bed, I told him, “Nightstand. Top drawer.”

Getting out of bed, he found the box and threw it on the bed. Before he got back in though, he removed his shorts, and I licked my lips. His dick bobbed enticingly, and even though my experience up to that point had been limited, I knew his cock was extraordinary. I hadn’t touched it, but I doubted my hand would completely encircle it. At least nine inches long, it had veins that traveled the length of it. That monster was going inside me. Would it fit? I knew logically it would, but I had to admit that while I craved it, I felt a little anxious about never experiencing anything that large before.

He rolled the condom down his length, and got back into bed, crawling toward me, and then slithering up my body. The pressure and heaviness of his body helped to push away the apprehension.

His lips moved against mine as he whispered, “You have me. Forever.” Reaching between us, he lined himself up with my pussy, then thrust forward. Oh how he filled me. Large and long, it bordered on painful, but it didn’t hurt. He moved slowly, almost as if he were savoring the feel of me surrounding him. “More,” I urged him.

He gave me what I begged for. Impaling himself to the hilt hard and fast, I gasped in pleasure, my eyes closing from the intensity of everything I felt. Slowly, he pulled out, leaving only the head of his dick inside me, and held himself still for a moment. When I grunted in annoyance because I wanted him to move, and he thrust back in with a smile on his face.

The tug and feel of him gliding back and forth sent shocks of electric pleasure through me. I lifted a leg to hold him closer, digging my heel into his thigh. Unable to get it any higher, it frustrated me slightly that my leg didn’t want to cooperate. I couldn’t lift the other, but I had to accept my limitation. It took nothing away from the bliss I felt.

Our bodies fused together, becoming one…or that was how it felt. In and out. The feel of his cock sliding with in me, created a friction in my core that pleasured me more than his tongue or fingers had previously. His fullness completed me. Soon, the familiar knotted coil began forming low in my stomach.  His own breathing became erratic as he moaned and moved, and his thrusts became jerky.

Reaching between us, his finger circled my clit, rubbing it, spurring me closer to orgasm. The coil wound tighter and tighter within me. And when he groaned, “Come for me, baby,” I did. Hard. With two more short thrusts, he fell off the edge with me. Even with his dick sheathed in a condom, I felt his dick grow, and his orgasm.

He fell to the side of me, and I instantly missed his weight. He pulled the condom off, threw it over the side of the bed, and gathered me to him. I felt safe, loved, and wanted. Closing my eyes, I was swathed in happiness and peace, and it didn’t take long before I fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat under my ear.

My previous sexual experiences never prepared me for this. Bryan was right in the beginning, I’d missed out on a lot of things.

Chapter 36

Bryan

I would love to have said when I woke up, it consisted of slowly becoming aware, pulling Emma a little closer to me as I nuzzled her hair, kissing my way down from the top of her head to her lips, where I slowly made love her mouth, waking her up with pleasure. Afterwards, we both relived one of the best nights of my life when I made love to her again. I would love to have said that, but I couldn’t because that wasn’t what happened.

After she fell asleep, I slipped out of bed to grab her walker for her, so that she wouldn’t worry about it when she woke up. Getting back into bed, I pulled her close and watched her sleep until I succumbed to exhaustion myself.

But sometime in the wee hours of the morning, a hand accidentally—at least I think it was accidental—slapped me hard across the face. Emma had turned in her sleep. Fine. She wasn’t used to someone lying down in the same bed as her. Wrapping her in my arms once again, I secured her arms to her body to protect myself and once again fell asleep.

It seemed like only minutes later, loud obnoxious music began blaring in my ear, jolting me awake. I thought it might’ve been loud enough to burst an eardrum. It certainly made me jump up in bed, momentarily confused about my surroundings. My eyes searched for an enemy that didn’t exist, until they landed on Emma, who was slowly stretching a hand toward the shelf on her headboard where her alarm caterwauled. With the press of a button it became silent. She picked up a white pill next to it, pushed it into her pink mouth, and then she promptly buried herself back inside the covers. What the fuck was that?

The whirling ceiling fan lifted the edges of the curtain ever so slightly, enough to see darkness still blanketed our part of the world. A brief glance at my watch told me it was only 6:00 A.M Why so early? My heart still pounded out a staccato beat as adrenaline continued to race through my veins, and my breathing could best be described as haphazard. I’d panicked, afraid we were about to be attacked or something.

“Em,” I called out to her.

“Hmm?” her sleepy voice asked, although, I wasn’t sure if she actually acknowledged me or if she tended to talk in her sleep.

“Emma!”

“Hmm?”

“Emma!”

“What?” Now she sounded irritated, and the muffled word sounded funny to me. As annoyed as she sounded, she hadn’t moved a muscle.

“Why is your alarm going off at six in the morning?” I attempted to sound calm and serene, but I wanted to cuss like the proud Navy man I was.

“Bryan?” Confusion laced her tone, but she still didn’t move.

“Yeah.”

“It’s six in the morning.”

Way to state the obvious there, Em
. “It is.” Should I be concerned? Her voice sounded off and her words were markedly slurred. If I didn’t know better, I may’ve thought she was drunk.

“Am I dreaming?”

Huh? “Em? Are you—?”

“You’re only here in my dreams, so I get thirty more minutes with you,” she interrupted. I thought she went back to sleep, but her words still sounded weird. What the hell?

Now my pulse pounded for a completely different reason. I’d done some research on myasthenia gravis, but I was far from an expert. The disease varied from person to person, which left me wondering if I should call for an ambulance or let her sleep for another thirty minutes. I knew what I would rather spend thirty minutes doing to her. Maybe that made me a pig, but it was true…except not while she seemed out of sorts.

“Em?” My hand grabbed her shoulder and gently shook her. I hated to admit it, but I was on the verge of panicking again. I’d engaged the enemy, been in a bar fight or three, and had even gone through a pregnancy scare with one of my exes, but none of that terrified me like the thought of Emma in crisis. I’d read all about MG crisis, and it scared the hell out of me that something like that might happen to her. Unable to breathe or move, she would be placed in ICU, where they would more than likely have to intubate her to allow her to breathe. “Emma?” I practically yelled, shaking her again when she didn’t respond.

“What the fuck do you want, Bryan?” It sounded more like, “Wha he uck you wan, Ryan?”

“Emma, I need you to wake up.”

“I am.”

But she didn’t even twitch, and that scared me. Grabbing my phone, I dialed the only person I thought who might have a clue about what was happening to my Emma. “Mel!”

“Bryan, what the…? Do you know what time it is?” she growled. If she could have reached through the phone to strangle me, I was pretty sure I would be dead.

“It’s Emma!”

“What do you mean?” That caught her attention.

“She’s slurring her words and she doesn’t sound right. She’s barely moving.”

“Fuck! I should have known you’d end up over there. She’s fine. Her medication wore off and she needs to take another dose.”

I paused and inquired, “Is it white?”

“Yes, and round.”

“I think she just took it.” I felt like an idiot.

“Give her about fifteen minutes for it to start kicking in, but she likes to give her morning dose thirty to really get into her system. Then, and only then, can you ask her all the questions you want, but she’s supposed to be over here by nine, and I think she said something about stopping for breakfast first.”

“So why did she set her alarm for six?”

“She gets tired and needs to take breaks while she gets ready. Takes her longer and all that jazz. Listen, I’m going back to sleep. Let her explain it all.”

“Fine,” I grumbled. I hated waiting for answers, but I didn’t have much of a choice.

Before I could hang up, I heard Mell call out to me, “And Bryan?”

“Yeah?” I asked, holding the phone up to my ear.

“Are you sure about this? This is her life, how she is every morning. She can’t immediately jump out of bed like you can. Are you sure you want to take this on? Are you ready for that?”

Honestly, I didn’t know what I was prepared for, but I loved Emma and I couldn’t live my life without her any longer. If needed, I’d learn and adapt to her life as much as I could. “I am,” I said softly, and then pressed the
end
button.

I could tell Emma lay there awake, and probably heard my whole conversation with Mel, but she didn’t say anything nor did she try to look at me. I wanted to know what was going through her head. That said, I remained quiet until she was ready to talk to me.

As I sat there waiting, I heard nature coming to life outside. Birds were waking up, singing to welcome the rising sun. Something rustled in the bushes right outside Emma’s apartment window. Somewhere in the distance, a cat meowed. And upstairs, her neighbors had started to move around.

Thirty minutes never seemed so long.

“I’m surprised you didn’t leave,” her voice sounded almost normal, still a slight slur, but nothing like earlier, which relieved me.

“I told you, I love you no matter the disease.” My panic and emotions made my voice gruff.

“You called Mel.” Not a question, a statement.

“I was scared and didn’t know what to do because you wouldn’t answer me.”

“I don’t like talking when I’m like that. I’m hard to understand, and people have accused me of being drunk when I’m like that.”

“You sounded drunk, but I knew you weren’t.”

“No, I couldn’t have been.” She lay there in silence after that. Her body faced the window, so I couldn’t tell if her eyes were opened or closed, therefore, I stared aimlessly at the window, waiting for her to explain what had happened, but she said nothing. The sun began to rise steadily as we laid there, penetrating the break in the curtain to light her room.

The longer we laid there, the more agitated I became. I couldn’t take it anymore. “Is that really how you are every morning?”

“Yes.” She sighed, and started to sit up. I tried to assist her, but I quickly realized I was more of a hindrance than a help. She didn’t complain though, and the small smile I received made me feel like the king of the world.
Yeah, I had it bad for her.
When she settled into a comfortable position, she explained, “My daily mestinon doesn’t work for long periods of time. I have to take it every four hours during the day. At night I take timespan, which is a long-acting mestinon. It lasts eight hours, which gets me through the night. It’s basically the medicine that helps my muscles work and keeps me functioning like a somewhat normal person. I call it my muscle med.”

“Why don’t you just take the timespan all the time?”

“More expensive and not as mass produced. Usually my alarm is set for seven so I can get my first daily dose of mestinon—a lot of us call it mesty—into my system before Curley demands food. He seems to understand that he has to wait a little bit after the alarm before he can bug me.”

“So basically, we would have to wait for morning sex?” I grinned, joking with her.

She didn’t seem to appreciate my jest. Narrowing her eyes, she studied me for a couple of minutes, and I almost squirmed under her intense gaze. “You aren’t freaked out? You know I wouldn’t be offended if you left.”

I read between the lines. She might not have been offended, but she would be hurt. After all my promises, her acceptance of my feelings, it would have been a knife to the back. “I’m not going anywhere. I hate to tell you this, but you’re stuck with me for pretty much fucking forever.” Her eyes widened, her cheeks burned pink, and her smile grew. That reaction was everything to me. I bent forward to capture her lips in a kiss. When I reluctantly ended it, we were both out of breath. Had I ever experienced a kiss that set my whole body on fire? I couldn’t think of anyone doing that to me except Emma. Damn, I sounded like a girl, but for her, I would do anything, and not care what anyone besides her thought of it.

When she had sat up, she’d tucked the sheet under her arms, but I remembered what her body looked like. I wanted that body, craved it like no other.

Beautiful, sexy, funny, courageous…how had I gotten so blessed?

“Was that your only question?” she probed.

So many questions ran through my head. Questions I’d never thought to ask before, but the first one that popped out was, “Have you ever gone into crisis?”

Shaking her head, she said, “No. I’ve been lucky.”

Lucky. She called that lucky. I called it a miracle.

“You know, not everyone with MG goes into crisis,” she stated, her head tilted a little to the side.

Had my expression changed to the point she felt it necessary to reassure me? “I realize that. It’s just…” I couldn’t find the words.

“Scary? Believe me I know. It’s one of the things I fear the most, but according to the doc, I’m fairly stable. Although, my legs like to take vacation more often than they used to. We’re still playing with my meds, trying to find the right combination. I have good days and bad days, I take my meds, and I get treatment every couple of weeks.”

“Treatment?”

“IVIG.” I guessed I appeared bewildered because she quickly explained. “It’s an IV treatment and helps me function. It means intravenous immunoglobulin. The easiest way to explain it is, it is like a sponge. It soaks up the bad antibodies and helps decrease the symptoms. I go every two weeks right now, but starting next week I go every week. Insurance took their sweet time approving the treatment since it’s costly. I think I got a bill once and it was over $24k for the month. When someone donates blood, one of the things that’s extracted is the immunoglobulin. That’s what is pushed into me.”

I ran my hand over my face and huffed. “I guess I still have a lot to learn.”

“You don’t have to, you know.”

“Why are you saying that? Of course I do.”

Picking at an invisible piece of lint on her blanket, she refused to meet my gaze. “It’s a lot to take in, and I’m sure it’s more than you bargained for. I accept the fact that with my MG and the stuff that comes with it, it’ll take someone unique to accept everything, and—”

The irritation that had disappeared, returned with a vengeance. “You mean someone like Chad?” Apparently, my jealousy hadn’t diminished as much as I thought it had.

“Not necessarily, but he’s one.” She stared at me as if she were trying to figure out the secrets of the universe…or just my own hidden agenda. But I had none. When it came to her, I opened myself up and gave her everything.

“You don’t think I’m up for the task?”

Her eyes dropped to the blanket again as she shrugged. “It’s a burden. I’m going to be a burden to anyone who decides to be with me. And it’s a lot bigger commitment than it would be for a normal person. If I was normal, you wouldn’t have panicked this morning. You would’ve probably kissed me awake and—”

“Stop it right there.” Holding up my hand, I needed her to quit right there, because my imagination booted up, and thoughts of what came after the kiss were quite colorful in my head. “While that might be true, that doesn’t mean I don’t want you or love you.” Now if only my dick would stop reacting to my wayward thoughts, this conversation might be a little easier to handle. It didn’t help my situation when she started to bite her lip though. I wanted my teeth to do the biting.
Damn!
She made me feel like an out of control horney teenager.