Did You Read That Review ? (100 page)

4.1 out of 5 stars

Name:
     
MSC Joie Simply Slice Strawberry Slicer

ASIN:
     B002451AB2

Price:
     
$4.49

Dress up the simplest dessert with slices of fresh strawberry. This red, strawberry-shaped slicer has seven stainless steel blades and will effortlessly slice strawberries into perfectly even slices. Great for pies, cakes, salads, and garnishes. Cutting area on slicer: 2¼” × 1¾”. Not dishwasher safe.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

233 of 308 people found the following review helpful

AWFUL, MISLEADING, SLY PRODUCT!!!

By
N. M.
, December 10, 2012

I bought this strawberry slicer as I was fed up of the countless hours I spent slicing up strawberries and other soft berries for my husband and two children. I felt such an investment was wonderful for a housewife like me and would certainly improve the lives of my beloved family, too! HOW WRONG I WAS. We got on well at first; when I would come home from the shops, the strawberry slicer would help me unload my bags and we’d discuss hot topics like “celibacy” and “Mitt Romney.” My suspicions were first raised when I saw the strawberry slicer leaving my bedroom one morning. “What are you doing in there?” I asked, foolishly!

“I’m sorry, I was checking for small fruit to slice!” it replied. How naïve I was to trust that strawberry witch. Very soon after, my husband began working from home a lot, often sending me on long and pointless journeys for “condoms” and “watch batteries.”
One day, after clearing out the sexual supply store for the tenth time that month, I arrived home early to find him KNEE DEEP IN SLICED STRAWBERRIES WITH THE STRAWBERRY SLICER CLINGING TO HIS NAKED HAND. Needless to say, a messy divorce followed. We must keep civil for the lawyers’ sake, but IF YOU ARE READING THIS, BRIAN, I HATE YOU, AND I HOPE YOU GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE FOR CHRISTMAS.

122 of 163 people found the following review helpful

Made me stop believing in myself

By
The Queen of Colors
, August 28, 2012

I used this product. And it worked. And I saw how well it sliced the strawberries. And I first I was all like, “Boo-yeah! Take that strawberry!” But then I got to thinking more about it, and I realized that an inanimate object is better at cutting fruit than me. A human being. And then I starting thinking about how many other things inanimate objects do better than me. And eventually, I stopped believing in myself. Now I have no self-confidence, and I have had to turn to a life of screaming for help through vague Facebook status updates.

8 of 11 people found the following review helpful

Yes

By
Laughing Basset
, April 5, 2013

For years I’ve been biting strawberries like some kind of idiot. Now I’m eating sliced strawberries like the stars of a divine reality show. If my dad could see me now he’d think I was quite the fancy pants, and he probably wouldn’t have shot himself in the face. X

30 of 44 people found the following review helpful

Slicer saved my marriage

By
Kindle Queen
, January 16, 2013

This Strawberry Slicer saved my marriage. Having spent several hours a day slicing strawberries to keep up with the demand for evenly sliced fruit, my husband said we never spent any time together and wanted a divorce. My strawberry slicer arrived in the post the next day as it ordered itself, a little-mentioned extra feature. It cut my time slicing berries to 0.3 seconds per day, and my husband no longer wants a divorce. Thank you, Strawberry Slicer.

415 of 463 people found the following review helpful

Banana slicers first
…
now THIS?!?

By
SW3K
, January 10, 2013

I used to use any manner of objects to slice strawberries…other than a knife. If you’ll read my banana slicer review, you’ll understand that such weaponry isn’t allowed to me as per terms of my probation. Items I’ve used:

1. Karate—this worked well enough for the really huge strawberries…but rather than coming up with sliced berries, I’d say they were more like halved berries. It also gave me sweet, juicy, red hands, as karate chops are similar to blunt force trauma if you’re a strawberry…not a very clean cut at all.

b. Paper—I figured if paper can cut a finger, it should sure as hell be able to handle a damn strawberry. Well…all of those tiny seeds act as a sort of strawberry armor, and the paper dulled immediately. Also, on occasions I was able to avoid any seeds, the paper would become soggy, and I’d have paper goop in my berry bowl when all was said and done. Sure, that’s extra fiber for one’s diet, but personally, I’m very, VERY regular without it.

III. Hammer—I do not recommend using hammers to slice strawberries. I’ve tried multiple sizes and styles and had the following results…

4. Shot the strawberries with a gun…it was a pellet gun so my parole officer didn’t send me back up the river. I had to shoot very precisely to get sliced berries, and I feel that the average of 5 shots per berry was just too labor intensive. It also seemed to waste a good amount of the fruit and life-giving vitamins it provides.

So when I stumbled upon this thing for a buck, I was ecstatic! This things slices and dices, except it doesn’t
dice. There’s absolutely no frustration with slicing strawberries anymore. I did only give it three stars because it’s pretty crappy at slicing boysenberries or lingonberries. It really only works on strawberries.

76 of 104 people found the following review helpful

PRICEY

By
Unemployed…again
, August 28, 2012

This product looks nice, but it must be just for royalty. Obviously not everyone can have sliced strawberries, or they wouldn’t be special anymore, RIGHT? Must be nice if you can afford it, MONEYBAGS. I’ll just be over here with the rest of the 99 percent, eating our strawberries WHOLE. This is what’s ruining America. All the fancy pants hedge funders in their thousand-dollar suits lording their STRAWBERRY SLICES over the rest of us. YOUR TIME IS COMING, RICHIE RICH.