Desperation of Love (6 page)

“I know. I’m right here. I’m going to make you come so hard.” He places a kiss on my hair as he increases the pressure again, relentlessly, unwavering until I can’t take it anymore. His words push me over the edge and I shatter, crying out his name as I grab onto him, clutching as hard as I can until I ride out the tremors coursing through every inch of my body. “That’s it. That’s my girl,” he whispers in my ear. His voice soothes me. My muscles start to relax and I loosen my grip on him.

“You okay?” I can’t speak, can barely move, so I nod my response instead. “Alright, then. Why don’t you hop in the shower and get ready? We’ll stop at the coffee shop on the way to meet Victor, make our story more believable.”

“I can’t. I just need a minute,” I say, trying to recover from the aftershocks flickering through my body.

His arms around me get tighter as he shifts us, pushing himself further up the bed and taking me with him. He lies down with me still in his arms and positions us so we’re facing each other, my head resting on his arm. “That was intense,” I say, clutching onto his t-shirt, still needing to feel him close by. What a difference a day can make. I don’t really comprehend the unexplainable shift in me, but something has definitely changed. A wall of my defenses has come crashing down around me, and Alex is the one who bulldozed it. I watch as his lips curve up in a smile.

“That was intense.” He lowers his lips to my ear and whispers, “I love watching you come. It’s pretty fucking hot.”

His words have me ready to go again. I love what he just did to my body and I want to go further, experience everything that Alex is capable of. “Let’s just stay here,” I suggest.

“We can’t. I promised Victor. We’re partners in this so he needs me there.”

“I love how you always look out for him.”

“I’m used to taking care of everyone. It’s what I’ve always done.”

I lift my head up to look at him. “Who takes care of you?”

He gives me a quick shrug of the shoulders. “I take care of me.” I don’t know what to say to that, but it makes me sad. The thought of Alex never having anyone to count on to be there for him makes me want to burst into tears. He has Victor, but until recently his career was his priority, and now Victor has Ellie and the baby. This leaves Alex with no one, and just for a brief moment, I think to myself that maybe I can be his someone. I can be the person there for him, to take care of him when he needs it. I push those thoughts out of my head. I’m just not ready to think about our relationship in those terms yet. I need to take this one day at a time or I will sabotage it. I know I will.

“Okay, I’m ready to get up. I’m going to hop in the shower,” I say, pulling myself up to a sitting position.

“Good. Meet me downstairs in fifteen minutes. Can you be ready?”

“Yes. I’ll be right down.” He reaches up and places a quick kiss on my lips before he gets up and leaves my room. My mind and body are reeling from the events of the last half hour. How can one person make me feel so good and then so sad in a matter of minutes. Alex hasn’t had an easy life. From the outside looking in, it would appear as though he’s led a charmed life, one filled with money, status and even some of his brother’s fame. But the ugly reality is that he’s lived a lonely life. He had a childhood marred by the neglect of an absentee father and an unavailable mother who forced him to live in the shadow of his brother’s success. Oh God, I hate them. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, no one knows what happens behind closed doors, but no child should ever grow up without love.

I take a quick shower, and throw on a pastel pink sundress, a light weight white cardigan, and sandals. The weather will be changing soon and I won’t be able to wear stuff like this for much longer. The winters by the shore tend to be brutal. I apply a minimal amount of makeup, snatch my purse off the dresser, and head downstairs. Alex is ready and waiting for me by the front door.

“You look very nice,” he says with a smile.

“So do you.” He’s changed into a tan t-shirt that hugs his arms just right and a pair of dark cargo pants that hang low on his hips. It’s simple and sexy on him.

“Come on, let’s get out of here. We have just enough time to go get some coffee.” He holds his hand out for me, and I take it without hesitation. He leads me to his car and opens the door for me. It’s a miracle what a mere twenty-four hours can do for a person’s clarity. Things just seem so different to me, like maybe this won’t be a huge mistake. Maybe I can get this right with Alex, and maybe it won’t be such a problem for my friendship with Elle. After all, no one can control who they end up falling for, it just happens. Alex makes me feel alive so how can that be wrong? Maybe I can do the same for him. He hasn’t been living his life fully either. He’s been too busy taking care of everyone else and neglecting himself.

With coffee in hand, we enter what looks like the remains of an old radio station. I’m surprised to see both Victor and Elle here, along with their bodyguard, Rob, and who I can only assume to be the realtor. I thought Victor would be alone and it catches me off guard. He spots me first. “Hey, Shorty! What are you doing here?” he asks, grinning at me.

“Hey, Jordan,” Rob says with a grin on his face. I can tell he’s questioning my presence.

“Hey, guys,” I reply with a wave.

Elle turns and looks at me, and I can see the question in her eyes. Why am I here with Alex? She recovers quickly though and smiles at me. “Hey, you. I was gonna call you in a bit,” she says, giving me a hug.

Alex comes in to rescue me. “I was just over at Niecy’s coffee shop and ran into Jordan. I thought she might like to tag along to see this place.” I can see the sigh of relief wash across Elle’s face. She doesn’t want me doing anything that could hurt her family. I get it but that doesn’t mean her reaction doesn’t sting a little bit.

Victor pulls me into his side for a hug, and I wrap my arms around his waist. “Well, this is Joanne. She’s gonna be showing us around.” Alex reaches out and shakes the older woman’s hand. Her hair is styled up in a beehive and her tweed suit has seen better days. She looks at Alex like he’s a stream in the middle of the desert, and she’d be all too happy to drink him up. I do my best not to laugh and just follow along as she walks us around the space. It turns out to be much larger than I expected it would be. There are multiple rooms that could be used for recording, so multiple sessions can be going on at once, as well as plenty of room for offices and an area in the front that can be used for reception.

I can tell just by looking at Alex that he loves it. I see the excitement in his eyes and it makes me happy for him. I love the fact that he’s ecstatic about something that is happening to him, not around him. It makes him look like a kid in a candy store. “This looks great,” he says to Victor.

“Yeah, it’s perfect. The location is great too. It’s not far from either of our houses and it’s close to all the major highways,” replies Victor.

As if on cue, Joanne chimes in. “Are you looking to mortgage this? There’s a ton of paperwork that will need to be filled out.”

“No mortgage. It’s a cash sale,” Victor replies. He turns to Alex. “Can you handle all the contracts and financials, bro?”

Victor’s request angers me. It’s yet another thing that Alex has to take care of. I wish he would stand up for himself and say no for once. “Why can’t you handle that?” I chime in, trying to control my annoyance. I just don’t understand why no one can do anything for themselves in this family. Everyone stops and stares at me like I’ve grown two heads. “I’m sorry; it’s none of my business. I just mean that you should probably learn how to do all this kind of stuff since this will be a partnership, right?” I try to deflect the attention off my words by tossing in an offer of my services. “And, if you want, I can always help you design a website to increase your traffic.”

“Umm, I mean, I guess I could. I’m just so used to Alex taking care of all these things.”

Alex shrugs. “It’s not a problem. I can do it.” He looks at me, trying to convey a message with his eyes. I pretend to ignore it. I already feel like a jerk for butting in to begin with.

“No, she’s right. We’re going into business together, so I should be able to do it too. I’ll handle it.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. And, Shorty?” he calls out to me. “We’ll definitely take you up on the website idea.”

“Of course. Just let me know when you’re ready and I’ll hook you guys up.” I smile back at him. Victor really is a great guy and I’ve just made a complete fool of myself. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to mind.

Alex turns toward Victor, Elle and Rob. “Alright then, I’m outta here. Let me know when it’s all taken care of. We’ll work out a floor plan and hire a contractor to get it done.” We hug everyone goodbye and head back to the car. Alex doesn’t say a word to me until we get back on the road. “You want to tell me what that was back there?”

I’m not sure if he’s angry or just confused by my outburst, so I decide to play dumb. “What was what?”

“Come on, princess. You know what I’m talking about.”

“Fine. I just hate how everyone assumes that you are going to take care of everything. I mean these are adults. Can’t they handle anything without you?”

“That’s what this is about? You’re trying to protect me from my family, babe?” He grins at me and brings his hand up to the nape of my neck. I’m starting to love it when he does that. It’s possessive in nature but it feels so nice.

“I get that it’s like second nature to you, but I hate how they use you for everything. You’re not an employee. You’re family!”

“I think you’re projecting the feelings I have towards my mother onto Victor. He’s not the bad guy.”

“Ugh! I know, I know. I love Victor. I’m sorry. I’ll mind my own business from now on.”

He gives my neck a gentle squeeze. “Thank you for trying to defend me. I appreciate it, I really do, but you don’t have to worry about me, okay?”

I nod my head. “Okay,” I respond. But his request is easier said than done. Ever since our conversation this morning and the other day on the beach about what has always been expected from him, it’s like I can’t seem to let it go. I try to chase the thoughts from my mind, choosing instead to focus on what’s happening right now. “So … where are we going?”

He glances over at me. “Where do you want to go?”

I think about it for a minute. “Let’s go to the beach—your beach. We can stop at my house for supplies.”

He shakes his head at me. “No.”

“What do you mean, no?” I question, clearly not used to hearing that word in regards to something I want to do.

“I mean
no
. You need to prioritize. We have no food in the house so we’re going grocery shopping. Then, we’ll pack a lunch and go to the beach.”

I can’t help but let out a sigh. “Do we have to?”

Alex laughs. “Yes! We have to. You need to start eating actual food that is prepared in your home.”

“Are you trying to domesticate me already?” I tease. “I hate grocery shopping.”

“You’ll survive,” he says, releasing my neck and grabbing my hand.