Deeper (2 page)

I
leaned down and kissed her belly.

“Well
you can come out any time, peanut. Your mommy and I can’t wait to hold you.”

I
felt Jessie’s slender fingers combing through my messy bed hair.

“You’re
going to be such a good dad, Kris.”

I
rested my head on her belly and looked up into her pale blue eyes.

“I
really hope so, baby.”

“You
will be, I have faith in you. You know what not to do with our baby just based
on how your dad raised you.”

I
reached up and touched her cheek.

“Or
how your mother raised you.”

She
shivered and sighed sadly.

“Guess
we both lived through hell, didn’t we?”

“We
did. This baby is going to have the life we should have had growing up.”

A
tear slid down her cheek and I wiped it away with a stroke of my finger.

“I
would rather die than to have our baby go through what I went through with my
mother.”

“Hey,”
I said, moving up from her belly to meet her eyes. “I know you think I’ll be a
good dad, but let me tell you something. You, love, are going to be an
amazing
mom. I love you so much.”

She
smiled at me and this time it was full of love and joy.

“I
love you too, Kris. I always have,” she whispered before kissing my lips.

As
I held her close to me with our baby kicking between us, I closed my eyes and thought
about how I ended up here, lying in bed with the most beautiful woman in the
world. The anticipation of being a parent for the first time filled me with a
happiness I never thought I’d feel.

Kris

Ten Years
Earlier

As
the song we were playing was nearing the end, I banged the drums perfectly in
time and played like my life depended on it. Bad Blooded Rebel had been playing
around town for the better part of a year and while we were popular locally, we
still hadn’t hit the big time like we desperately wanted. I had a feeling
tonight, however, would be the night that would change everything.

Cory
Brewer, lead singer of Sticks and Stones (a huge band in the rock world)
happened to be in the club watching our show tonight. The band was playing a
headlining concert in our hometown of Cincinnati tomorrow. As luck would have
it, he came to The Metal Cage tonight and was watching us play with interest.
This guy was no talent scout but it was definitely a foot in the door for us
professionally if he liked what he heard.

As
the final song of our set ended, I played my signature drum solo and a slight movement
out of the corner of my eye made me turn my head. My eyes landed on the cutest
girl in the whole club and I smiled at her as she swayed her hips to the music.
I watched her long, light brown hair flowing around her slender shoulders as
she looked up and grinned back at me, pride beaming from her eyes.

From
the day I met her when I was seven years old, Jessie Monroe had quickly become
one of my best friends, next to the guys in the band. We had a lot in common;
music, movies, hangouts. One huge thing that bonded us? We both came from
completely fucked up households.

Jessie
lived with her mother (if you could call her that) in the same rundown
apartment complex that I lived in with my dad and where Jude, Beau, and his
little sister Sadie lived. It was about as close to a slum as you could get and
it seemed like that was where just about every horrible neglectful parent lived
with the children they wished they never had.

I
met her on my first day of second grade and she was starting kindergarten. She
was being picked on and bullied and from the moment I laid eyes on her I felt a
strong sense of both sympathy and protectiveness. There was something about her
that pulled me to her and when we talked outside the principal’s office that
day I knew I’d made a friend for life.

Ryder,
Jude, and Beau all liked to give me shit about Jessie having a thing for me but
I knew it wasn’t true. I’d spent every day with her for the past thirteen years
and if there was one thing I could read well was when a chick was into me. Jessie
clearly wasn’t because she didn’t dress in tight clothes or act like a slut to
get my attention.

I
wasn’t a prick that thought I was hot shit but I knew I was okay to look at.
From the time I was twelve girls went out of their way get my attention. Most
of high school was spent with me having girls following me everywhere. I even
had a serious girlfriend or two and Jessie was right there through it all. She was
always nice to my girlfriends and never had one negative thing to say about any
of them. If she was into me she would’ve probably trashed the girls up and down
and told me I could’ve done better.

Even
if she’d shown the slightest interest in me I’m not sure I would’ve followed
through with it. There was only one female in all my life I’d ever been able to
count on and that was Jessie. Hell, I told her things I couldn’t even tell the
guys in the band. How could I go and fuck that all up?

As
I banged my drums for the final time in the song, the club erupted in applause
and loud screaming. I loved performing live…it was such a rush. I had always
wanted to be a musician and when we hit junior high and I joined the marching
band, I loved every instrument and learned to play piano and guitar but drums
just seemed to be a perfect fit.

Luckily,
Ryder’s father Alan saw how committed we all were to music and fully supported
us. He was the one that bought all of our first instruments (including my first
drum kit) and he let us practice in their garage every single day. I knew my
dad didn’t give two shits about me so to have a guy like Alan Matthews behind
you was truly great. I really hoped Ryder knew how lucky he was.

“Thank
you all, this crowd fucking rocks!” Ryder screamed into the microphone. “See
you all next show!”

He
took his guitar off and reached into his pocket to do his signature gesture and
tossed a handful of guitar picks out to the audience. I stood up from my drum
kit and walked across the stage to stand next to Jude, who was standing on
Ryder’s left. Beau was on the right side of Ryder and we all joined our hands
together. We raised our arms and bowed down and the crowd started to go crazy,
especially the girls in the front row. Ryder and Jude were already staring at
them like they were pieces of meat. I chuckled to myself…I would almost feel
sorry for those unsuspecting girls if they weren’t asking for it night after
night.

I
noticed a cute redhead with her eye on me…she was definitely hot. I wanted to
go for it. Fuck, I’d not gotten laid in almost six months and my hand was
getting tired. However, I was just going to have to pass this time because
Jessie was here. I vowed to myself that no matter how bad I wanted to party, I
wouldn’t do it if she came to any of the shows.

Even
though her birthday was coming up next week, she was still only seventeen years
old. She’d witnessed and lived through more than anyone her age should have had
to and I wasn’t going to let her see that side of me…the wild, slutty rocker
that was out to party and get pussy like it was no big deal. She wasn’t my
girlfriend but she was, however, one of my best friends and I wasn’t going to
expose her to any more sex and partying than she was already used to seeing
from her own evil bitch mother.

After
we bowed, we all started walking toward the back stage. I tossed a glance at
Jessie over my shoulder and jerked my head in the direction of the back,
silently telling her to meet me at the backstage entrance and I’d make sure she
got back.

“Good
show guys,” Ryder said, nudging my back with his elbow. “You fucking killed it
tonight, dude.”

“Thanks,
man,” I said. I stopped off to the side of the entrance and waited for Jessie
to appear.

Beau
smiled at me as he took a drink of bottled water.

“I
saw Jess came tonight. You’ve got to be stoked about that,” he teased.

I
smirked at him and wiped my forehead with the back of my hand.

“Yeah,
I am. She’s not been to a show in a few weeks because she’s had to work.”

Jessie
worked mostly late shifts at a fast food restaurant called The Greasy Spoon and
I hated it. It was in a bad part of town and it made me nervous that she had to
take the bus or a cab home on nights when we had a show or when I was working the
graveyard shift doing stock for a local grocery store. I hoped that we got this
record deal soon because the first thing I was doing was helping her get out of
that shithole apartment she lived in with her fucking bitch of a mother.

“She’s
looking pretty cute tonight, bro. Bet she dressed up for you,” Jude teased.

I
rolled my eyes.

“She’s
just wearing jeans and a white tank top,” I said, scanning the crowd for her
but I couldn’t see her anywhere.

“The
fact that you even know that means you were checking her out. I never give a
shit about what a girl is wearing because it’s usually in a pile on my bedroom
floor or in the back seat of my car,” Ryder said. “Just give it up and admit
you have a boner for the girl.”

“I
don’t have a boner for Jess, you fucker. She’s just my friend.”

I
saw Ryder’s eyes flicker to the back stage entrance and he grinned.

“So
you wouldn’t care at all if I told you some beefy frat boy fucktard is throwing
game at her right now, right?”

I
felt anger start to rise and my head snapped to him.

“What
do you mean?”

He
nodded his head toward the entrance and said, “See for yourself.”

I
took a few steps forward and saw some asshole in a polo shirt with his hand on
Jessie’s waist and was leaning into her ear, whispering something to her that
had her scrunching up her face in disgust. She was trying to back away from him
but he wasn’t taking the hint.

“I’ll
be right back guys,” I said, taking off down the steps as I heard the guys
laughing.

I
came to a stop in front of her and gripped her arm gently. She looked at me
with relief and I asked, “Hey Jess, who’s this guy?”

“Um,
I don’t know him,” she said, tucking her long hair behind her ear and moving
closer to me.

The
frat boy idiot turned and glared at me.

“Excuse
me, asshole, I was talking to her.”

“Well
I’m
talking to
you
, mother fucker, and she’s with the band. She
clearly isn’t into you so you’d better back the fuck off before I knock your
ass out,” I spat at him.

Jessie
placed her delicate hand on my arm and tugged.

“Kris,
let’s just go.”

The
guy took a drink of his beer and turned his eyes back to Jessie.

He
looked her up and down, staring at her like she was nothing more than a
potential conquest, and said, “Aw, come on sexy. Why would you want some white
trash rocker when you can be riding my cock? I bet I can make you come faster
than he can.”

Before
I could even think, I punched the asshole frat boy right in his jaw and he
stumbled back. Jessie gasped as I grabbed the collar of his shirt.

I
pulled him close to my face and growled, “You so much as look at her again I will
end
you, mother fucker. She’s fucking seventeen years old and if you
touch her at all I won’t need to call the fucking cops and you won’t get the
chance to because I’ll kill you before they can save your ass.”

The
prick rolled his eyes and scoffed as I pushed him back to the wall.

“Whatever,
you can have her. This little cunt isn’t worth it anyway.”

He
spat blood out at us and it landed at my feet. I was about to go after the guy
again but Jessie grabbed my arm to stop me. He was laughing as he walked away
and if she wasn’t holding me back I’d have taken off after him.

“Kris,
you’re shaking. Calm down,” she said, fear in her voice.

I
turned my head and looked at her. She looked frightened and it made me soften up
and start to calm down. I hated when she looked scared because it made my
protectiveness go into overdrive.

I
looked into her eyes that were wide with concern and I said, “Sorry, Jess. I
didn’t mean to scare you.”

Letting
go of me, she visibly relaxed and replied, “You didn’t scare me. I was afraid
I’d have to try and bail your ass out of jail. I’m saving all my money to move
so you’d probably be sitting there for a while.”

I
smiled at her and nudged her arm with my elbow.

“Well,
it’s the thought that counts, right? Come on, let’s go.”

I
held my arm out for her to go ahead of me. As she climbed the stairs, she
tossed her hair back over her shoulders and I caught a whiff of her flower scented
shampoo. I always loved the fragrance of it and as I breathed her in I
instantly felt calm.

“Are
you sure you want to hang with me and not chase that red head that had her eye
on you during the show?” she asked. “She was pretty stacked.”

I
hooked an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into my chest.

“Hey,
this is the first show you’ve been able to come to in over a month. The only
girl I want to hang out with tonight is you,” I said, and she giggled.

She
looked up at me with those big blue eyes and she grinned.

“Thanks,
Kris. I’m really glad I was able to get tonight off. I know I need the money
now more than ever but it’s still nice to get away from life for a while and
have some fun.”

“You’re
definitely due for some,” I answered. “Which reminds me, what do you want to do
for your birthday next week?”

“Oh,
we don’t have to do anything. As long as I can hang with you and the guys I’m
good.”

“Come
on, Jess, there has to be something you want.”

She
pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and I could swear I saw her blush. I have
never seen Jess have this reaction before…I wondered if this was about a guy.

My
eyebrows drew together and before I could ask her about it, she said, “Really
there isn’t. Just being with my friends and having a night away from Crystal
sounds like heaven to me.”

Crystal
was Jessie’s mom and whenever she wasn’t around her she called her by her first
name. That woman didn’t deserve to be called “mom” by anyone, let alone one of
the greatest girls in the world.

“Well,
we’ll figure it out. You’re turning eighteen and that means you don’t have to
stay with Crystal anymore. That alone is a celebration.”