Cowboy Gangster 03 - Outlaws of Love (6 page)

Wade looked at Angel and Maddy. “You serious?”

“Fuck I am.” Byrd nodded and ground out the butt on the table. “And besides, Angel’s kind of pretty. The little fag boy is probably more girl than boy anyway. I mean, fuck, I’d pay to have that cute little mouth on my cock.”

Axel cracked up. “Ahh! You fuckin’ queer.” He shut up abruptly when Byrd slapped him in the side of the head hard, tears welling in his eyes. “Asshole,” he swallowed hard.

“I ain’t no fuckin’ queer,” Byrd stated dryly. “I’m just saying…Angel is enough like a girl for even a straight guy to want at least a blow job from him.”

Wade leaned forward on his elbows and smiled wryly. “So how much would you pay for the little faggot to suck your cock?”

♦  ♦  ♦

Axel curled forward, his stomach pinching until he was sure he would vomit. Tears streaked his face. “Byrd…he…” Axel shook his head as if he could dispel the images, the memories. “He took Angel into the bedroom and…” He wilted beneath a rush of sobs. “…And I didn’t do a
fucking thing
to stop them!”

Dane’s eyes rested heavily on him and Axel couldn’t bring himself to look at him. Angel was the love of Dane’s life –and Axel had stood back while Wade and Byrd has used and abused Angel until any normal kid would have irreparably broke. He didn’t know how Angel made it out with his mind intact. Or Maddy, either.

“I remember…” Axel shuddered, his voice cracking. “…I remember the first time Wade sold him. I was drunk and high almost 24/7 back then, but…but I still remember the look in Angel’s eyes when Wade took him from the apartment.” Axel ducked his head. “He looked at me…and it was right there, in his eyes…he was begging me to help him. And I just…I just turned away.” He swallowed hard, his breath shuddering up his throat. “I was a fucking
coward
. Too fucking scared of Wade and…and thinking if I went along with him then…then he would
accept
me the way our dad never had.” He shook his head again, choking on his tears. “Why the
fuck
did I
care
if he approved of me? God! I fucking
hated him!
I hated
me!
”

Axel broke, crying openly. When Dane touched him, he lunged to his feet and moved away.

“I deserve this,” he cried, shaking. “I deserve to be…to be
thrown away
like the
fucking trash
that I am! I never deserved him! I never deserved Angel and Maddy’s forgiveness! I don’t…” He trembled hard. “I don’t deserve to fucking
live.”

He barely noticed Dane had moved when he was suddenly engulfed in the man’s embrace, his arms holding him tight. “Trust me, Axel,” he whispered thickly, tears strong in his voice. “If we only got what we deserved…we’d all be in a hell of a bad way.”

His arms shaking, Axel tentatively wrapped them around Dane’s body then clung to him. “Clint made them go away,” he cried against Dane’s shoulder. “The bad memories. He…he made me forget…what I was…the things I did. He made me feel like…like there was something good in me. Like I could be more than…what I was before.” He shook his head and clung harder to Dane. “But there’s nothing good.”

Dane hugged him tighter. “I don’t believe that, Axel,” he murmured unsteadily.

Axel buried his face in Dane’s neck, fresh tears pushing out. “Then why doesn’t he want me?”

♦

“Do you want some breakfast, Uncle Kane?” Zoe stood at the counter, adding ingredients to a bowl. “How about some whole wheat, flax seed pancakes with fresh blueberries?” She laughed softly. “They’re good for you.”

Kane sank down into a chair at the table. God, why did he feel so damn tired? He hadn’t done anything yesterday.

You did “something”.

He groaned and rubbed his eyes. “I don’t want
good for me
,” he mumbled. “Just coffee.”

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” Zoe informed as she fixed him a cup of coffee and set it on the table. “That’s what you always tell me.”

Kane picked up the cup and sipped the hot drink. “No fair using my own words against me.”

“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander,” Zoe chided.

Kane grunted and lowered the cup. “Not always.”

Momentarily abandoning her pancakes, Zoe leaned against the counter and looked at him. “Do you feel okay, Uncle Kane?” she asked. “You hardly ate any of your dinner last night. And now you don’t want breakfast. What gives?”

“You’re starting to sound like a parent,” Kane grumbled.

Zoe smiled. “Well, let’s hope so, since…” she flattened her hand on her stomach.

Kane’s eyes widened in shock. “
What?”
he started to come up out of his chair when Zoe thrust out her hands.

“Whoa!” She laughed. “I was just joking!”

Kane dropped down hard, his heart pounding. “It wasn’t funny,” he growled.

“Just wanted to see if you were really paying attention,” she grinned.

“Trying to give me a heart attack, is what you’re trying to do.”

Zoe stepped over and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “No worries, Uncle Kane,” she smiled. “I play
safe
with the boys.”

“Just shoot me now,” he muttered. “How about you just
not
play with the boys
at all?
”

“But boys are so fun,” she laughed and returned to the counter. She cast him a sly smirk. “Don’t you agree?”

“No,” Kane whispered tightly and took a drink of coffee.

“You didn’t have fun with your gangster friend?” she ribbed lightly.

“Don’t go there,” Kane warned. “Ever again.”

Zoe turned around again and stared at him thoughtfully. “Is that what’s got you so uptight?” she asked. “All that stuff with the phone call and texts?”

Kane didn’t reply and continued to sip from the cup. The Egyptian more than implied he would be back to –
fuck you
–finish what they’d started. Despite the instant heat that spread through him at the thought of the man –Kane needed him to stay the fuck away.

“You shouldn’t worry about it,” Zoe assured. “If he was going to do anything about it, surely he would have done so by now.” She shrugged and smiled. “So you’re in the clear.” A small sigh escaped her. “Though I don’t know
why
you would want to be in the clear. I know he totally floats your boat.”

“Oh God,” Kane groaned and stood up, taking his cup with him. “I think I’ll have my coffee in my room.” Zoe giggled like a silly school girl as he left the kitchen.

You’re in the clear
. He shook his head. He was about as far from ‘in the clear’ as a man could get.

♦

Angelo took off his shoes and slipped out of his jacket, laying it across the foot of the bed. “I don’t know if I want to sleep,” he said quietly, his tone weary as he scooted onto the bed and rested against the pillows. “I’m afraid of the dreams that will come.”

Anthony sat on the edge of his own bed. “You have to sleep sometime,” he murmured. “We both do.” He sighed and stared blankly at the floor. “But I understand. I don’t really want to risk the nightmares, either.”

“It’s never going to stop hurting, is it?” Angelo whispered. “I mean, not completely. Like a wound that never fully heals. I’ll feel it there for the rest of my life.”

“We all will,” Anthony told him softly. “Shay was a special boy. We all loved him in our own way.”

Angelo nodded, his throat working slowly as he stared at the ceiling, eyes damp. “What is this going to do to Cory?” Angelo shifted his gaze and looked at Anthony. “He was…in love with him. It seemed impossible that anything could have come of it, but as long as there’s life, there’s…” A quiet longing crept into his eyes as he held Anthony’s stare. “…Possibilities.” He looked away. “But in death…”

Transferring from his bed to Angelo’s, Anthony sat on the edge and took Angelo’s hand. “We’ll all get through this together. Because we’re family and we…” He squeezed Angelo’s hand. “…We love each other.”

Angelo closed his eyes and laced his fingers through Anthony’s. “Will you lay down with me for a while?” he whispered. Tears seeped from beneath his closed lids and into his lashes. “Stay close?”

“I won’t leave your side.” Anthony stretched out on the bed as Angelo shifted onto his side, his back against Anthony’s chest. He didn’t resist when Anthony wrapped his arm around him and drew him a fraction closer. “Everything is going to be okay,” he whispered against Angelo’s shoulder. “In time, it will be.” He softly kissed the back of his head. “I promise.”

Emotion strained Angelo’s body. “He hasn’t been gone twenty-four hours,” he trembled. “And I already miss him so much I feel like I can’t breathe.”

Anthony pressed closer and held him tighter. “I know,” he said thickly. “I miss him, too.”

Silence settled over the two men. Angelo held Anthony’s hand against his chest…the beat of his heart strong and rapid against Anthony’s palm. Anthony rubbed his lips across the nape of Angelo’s neck, nuzzling the short hairs. A long repressed ache drifted through his body –a longing that was so difficult to resist at times like this, when they needed each other so much.

Angelo twisted his head slowly, his heart beating faster against Anthony’s palm. “Anthony…” he shuddered.

“Shhh…” Anthony pressed a soft kiss to the curve of his shoulder…and another close to his ear. Angelo moaned low and closed his eyes as his body shifted a little and he turned his face to Anthony. The man’s lips parted slightly…waiting. Anthony trembled and brushed his lips tentatively on Angelo’s mouth.

Angelo moaned and turned over, facing Anthony. His eyes opened and he touched his fingertips to Anthony’s lips, caressing softly –then hesitantly kissed him. “We shouldn’t…” he whispered, but as the words touched open air, he was delving deeper into the kiss.

Heat spread through Anthony’s body and he pulled the man closer, wrapping him in his arms and hugging him tight with a quiet desperation. Angelo flattened his hands on Anthony’s chest, his fingers slowly curling, gripping his shirt. The heat in Anthony’s body burned down through his groin, ignited by the feel of Angelo’s strong arousal. His hands sizzled with the temptation to strip away the man’s clothes, but Anthony fought it.

You can’t take it that far.

Angelo fingered the buttons of Anthony’s shirt, systematically loosening one after another. Anthony trembled and kissed him harder, his resolve weakening with each button that came loose. He didn’t know just when he slipped his hands up inside Angelo’s shirt, but merely registered the heat of Angelo’s skin burning his palms.

He rubbed down Angelo’s back, his fingertips playing along his spine, lower to brush the rear waistband of his pants. The man’s skin prickled beneath Anthony’s touch, the tiny velvet hairs at the small of his back standing on end. His hips pushed wantonly against Anthony, inviting him to take what he longed for.

Anthony shuddered and groaned as Angelo’s warm, strong tongue wrapped around his own and the man’s fingers dragged down his torso, unfastening the remaining shirt buttons, raking his bare skin –to snag on the snap of Anthony’s slacks.

Angelo needed this –they
both
needed it. But it was too much, too soon. It wasn’t something they could just fall into. Yet his resolve wavered dangerously at the feel of Angelo’s fingers caressing his stomach just under the waistband of his pants, causing his abdomen to quiver and jump…and his arousal to swell.

“Anthony…” Angelo’s voice shook with want when their kiss broke, his lips trembling against Anthony’s mouth before gliding along Anthony’s jawline to his throat. Soft, sensual kisses dropped onto his skin, so tender and intoxicating. He had forgotten how all-consuming Angelo’s touch could be, the way it could strip the senses of all reason and doubt…and just pull a man under without resistance.

“We shouldn’t…” Anthony whimpered, echoing Angelo’s own words from moments ago.

His tender lips pressed to the swell of Anthony’s throat, Angelo whispered, “Then make me stop…because I can’t make myself.”

♦

The boy lay still, his skin like ice beneath the Egyptian’s touch as he brushed his fingertips across his brow then through his soft hair. Why the kid had taken a liking to him, Cochise had never understood. Shay had been like Cory –a cocky little shit. An irritating brat that had found much amusement in ribbing the Egyptian at every opportunity, as Cory ribbed Clint. There were times Cochise had threatened bodily harm if the boy didn’t leave him be. His threats were rarely taken seriously.

He stared at Shay’s face, so smooth and tender, as yet unmarred by the strain and hardships of life in their world. His eyes lingered on the boy’s lips…and wished to see them twist in that annoying smile just one more time.

His thumb raked lightly over the small bullet hole between his eyes, then faltered against the wound as Cochise stared at Shay –seeing the Venetti boy instead, lying dead on the floor, his young life extinguished by the Egyptian’s hand. He closed his eyes and his lips moved, repeating the mantra branded on his mind over three decades ago. “The enemy is the enemy –regardless age, gender, rank, religion or race. Do not spare for their crying –kill them
all
.”