Cowboy Gangster 03 - Outlaws of Love (8 page)

“Get a grip,” he whispered tightly. “You have more important things to deal with.” Whoever had shot Shay and Cory were still out there. He needed to get back to Cory and find out what he remembered about the incident. He had to
focus.

He touched the starburst pendant, then tucked it under his shirt and out of sight.
Just let him go. He’s hurting now, but he’ll do better without you in his life. If you stick around…you’ll get him killed.

Clint breathed deep and released it on a slow exhale. “Forgive me, Axel,” he whispered thickly and urged the car back onto the highway.
I should’ve never tried to live in the light and be…a good guy.

♦

It wasn’t
sound
that alluded to the presence of another person in the room, but merely that sense of not being
alone.
Cory opened his eyes with effort and stared at the ceiling for a moment as the fog of sleep receded. His first assumption was that the nurse had returned, but discarded it as the silent “familiarity” of the occupant filled the room.

“Uncle Clint…” Cory rasped without looking. He’d spent nearly his whole life with the man and Clint had a presence all his own. He turned his head slowly to find the cowboy standing at the window, his back to the room –and his shoulders stiff with tension.

Clint turned at the sound of Cory’s voice. There was a hesitation to his movement, as if reluctant to look at him. Cory didn’t need to hear the man say it, for him to know that Clint blamed himself for everything.

The cowboy didn’t speak as he walked to the bed, cupped Cory’s head and kissed his brow, his lips lingering for a split second before drawing back. There was a granite veil behind his jade green eyes that had been there for as long as Cory had known him, yet had started to break away when Axel came into his life. It was back again –and visibly reinforced.

“I want you to tell me everything,” Clint spoke with a rigid edge to his tone –also something that had started to recede upon Axel’s presence. Dread twisted up Cory’s gut. Clint moved back to the window. “Every detail, Corrigan.” He looked at Cory from across the short space. “Did you see him? The man who shot you. Did he show himself? Speak to you?”

Cory stared at him, seeing the man he
used
to be…not the man who had been surrendering to his heart…to Axel. “Where did you go?” he whispered unsteadily. “Why weren’t you here with the others when I woke up? Dad said…” He frowned. “…That you had to take care of something.” Cory licked his lips slowly. “What was it?”

Clint stiffened at his inquiry and looked away, staring out the window. “It’s not important,” he mumbled tightly. “All that matters right now is finding the motherfucker who shot you and…” His words faltered. “And Shay.” He turned his eyes to Cory, his brow knit hard as he visibly resisted his emotions. “Venetti was just a pawn. This fucker –he’s the one I want.
Did
you get a look at him?”

Cory exhaled slowly. “It was dark,” he said quietly, the pain of the previous night coming back hard as he felt Shay fall against him…his warm blood splatter his face…and the
smell
of his blood in Cory’s nostrils. He would never be able to stomach the scent of blood again. “He was right there in front of me, but…” He shook his head, his throat closing. “But I couldn’t see his face.”

“He spoke to you?”

“Yeah,” Cory rasped. “He said…Shay was the warning, but I was…the message.” He swallowed thickly and looked at Clint through a swimming vision. “I think he meant for me to live. He could have killed me.”

Clint returned to the bed. “What did he mean…you were the message?”

“I don’t know,” Cory whispered.

“Did he say anything else?” Clint pressed.

Cory closed his eyes and tried to focus, remember. It was so hard to think around the memory of Shay’s lifeless body lying there beside him, his head on Cory’s leg. “Yes…” Cory opened his eyes as the man’s words began to push through into his conscious thoughts. “He said something about a storm coming and…and it raining blood or…” He shook his head, brow pinching as he tried to conjure up the shooter’s exact words. “…Something…until what was taken from him was paid in full. And…” His brow squeezed. “…And the debt was great.”

Rubbing his hand across his mouth, Clint frowned. “Could he have been from the Albanian mob?”

“I don’t know,” Cory whispered. “Maybe. But he didn’t sound like one of them.”

“What do you mean?”

“He didn’t sound…Italian,” Cory said. “But maybe they hired someone that we wouldn’t recognize.”

Clint’s face tightened and he shook his head. “If it was just revenge, why would he leave you alive? Why not just take us out one at a time?”

“I don’t know,” Cory murmured, his head sinking into the pillow a fraction. He looked at the ceiling again, battling the hurt struggling to consume him. “It didn’t feel like a
mob
hit. It felt…personal.”

Clint fell silent and Cory shifted his gaze to the man’s face. His guilt was etched all across his features.

“It isn’t your fault,” Cory said thickly. “We were set up. You had no way of knowing.”

“I felt it,” Clint mumbled. “I knew something was wrong with this whole fucking job, and I still let you and Shay go alone while I stayed behind and…” His face pinched tighter and he looked away sharply. “I should have fucking been there. Not Shay.”

His throat working, Cory whispered, “Someone would have died, regardless. There was no warning. Shay was…” He swallowed thickly. “…He was dead before I even knew he’d been shot. If it had been you and I going in, then it would be one of us down in the morgue right now. Someone was gonna die last night.”

“Then it should have been
me,
” Clint snapped. “Not…” he shook his head. “Not Shay…or you.” He met Cory’s watery stare. “
Me.
My head wasn’t in the game.
I
was the one who fucked up because I got caught up in some fucking…” He cut himself off and turned away again.

His gut cinching tighter, Cory whispered, “You’re talking about Axel.”

Clint stood with his back to him, one hand clamped to his hip while the other raked stiffly through his hair.

Oh fuck…what did he do?
“You’re not…blaming
Axel…?
”

Clint spun around. “I am blaming
me
, Corrigan!” he practically yelled. “No one else! I had no fucking business being there in the first place! I should have been with
you!
Not off
fucking around with some kid!
”

Tears burned Cory’s eyes. “Uncle Clint…where did you go earlier?” he asked quietly, voice shaky. “What…did you do?”

His chest heaving, Clint stepped back, the heels of his boots a dull clunk on the hard tiled floor. The force with which he fought his emotions frightened Cory.

“I did what I had to do,” Clint said in a rigid tone. “I fixed the problem.”

“What…
problem?”
Cory trembled.

“You know damn well know what problem, Corrigan!” He raked at his hair again. “Cochise was right. I
slipped.
And because of it –
Shay is dead!”

“Cochise…” Cory stared at him, tears forming thicker. “
He
told you it was your fault Shay is dead?” Cory knew how important Shay had been to the Egyptian, but Clint was like the man’s brother. Would he really blame him…?

“It doesn’t fucking matter what he said,” Clint insisted. “He was just calling it like it is. I fucked up and I know it. You can thank
him
for capping Venetti. I had considered letting him live –
that’s
how fucked I was in the head! He set up you and Shay –and I was gonna fucking let him
live!
”

“Why?” Cory whispered.

Exhaling hard, Clint shook his head. “It doesn’t fucking matter
why
, Corrigan. That motherfucker got Shay killed. And you almost killed. Letting him breathe another fucking second should have never been an option.”

“So what…” Cory choked quietly. “You…you went back to Axel’s place? Is that where you were? What did you do, Uncle Clint?”

Clint dragged his hand down his face, his eyes like stone. “I told you. I fixed the problem.”

“So you…
left
him?” Cory stared at him, tears forming a wall, barely holding. “You just walked away and…and left him alone?”

“His stepbrother is with him,” Clint informed. “And his boyfriend. Axel isn’t alone.”

“And you think
dumping
Axel is the answer?” Cory asked brokenly. “You think that’s just going to magically fix everything?” He choked on a sob. “Shay is still
dead.
It won’t bring him back. You’re not
fixing
anything, Uncle Clint –you’re
breaking it!
”

“It was a fucking
illusion,
Corrigan! That is not who I am!” Clint’s lips tightened fiercely. “Even
I
didn’t recognize myself anymore.”

Cory trembled, tears slipping loose. “Well maybe that wasn’t such a
bad
thing.”

“What?” Clint stared at him hard.

“Fuck,” Cory choked. “For as long as I’ve known you, Uncle Clint, you’ve lived inside some fucking steel shell. You didn’t let anyone in. Even me, you only allowed to see a shallow glimpse of who you are. But Axel…” he swallowed thickly. “…You let him see your heart…let him touch it. He is
special
, Uncle Clint, and you know it. You can’t walk away from him.”

Clint looked at him, his eyes dull…empty. “It’s already done.”

“You’re scared,” Cory whispered with a tremor to his voice. “It scares the fuck out of you that he walked right through your defenses and there was nothing you could do to stop him. And maybe what scares you the most is that you didn’t want to stop him. You liked how it felt to hold him so close to your heart.”

His breath quick, uneven, Clint said tightly, “He was an unnecessary distraction.”

Cory stared at him. “In our world,” he said quietly. “We all need a distraction to remind us we’re still human.” Clint looked away as Cory added, “And he wasn’t
unnecessary.
Whether you admit it or not, you know it’s the truth. If I’d had any doubts before about how necessary he was to you…they disappeared when you came running the night he was attacked.” Tears slid down his face as he watched the cowboy evade his gaze. “And you of all people, Uncle Clint, don’t come running to the defense of those you deem
unnecessary.”

♦

Had he expected anything less from Cory? The young man had practically been cheering him on in his pursuit of Axel. But why was it so difficult for Cory to see what a mistake it was? For
everyone
involved.

He didn’t need Cory punching it home how good it felt to be with Axel. Clint needed to
forget
. He walked away from the bed and returned to the window, struggling for control as his throat knotted and his eyes burned. He needed Cory to understand that this was how it had to be. A man couldn’t live in two different worlds.

“Cory,” he said low and stared out the window. “You know what our world is like. We have to be aware of what is going on around us, at all times.” He sighed and rubbed his eyes, drawing away wetness on his fingertips. “When I was with Axel, I was…”

“Only aware of him?” Cory murmured.

“Yes.” Clint turned and shot the boy a stiff look. “Exactly. And living like that…I may as well paint a fucking bull’s eye on my forehead. And on his, too. I’m no good to anyone when I’m fucking blinded by…” His jaw clamped shut and he looked away. He could feel Cory’s eyes on him and knew the kid had no trouble finishing off his sentence in his head.

“You’re not alone in our world, Uncle Clint,” Cory said. “It’s okay to let down your guard a little and…let someone in. We have each other’s backs, all of us. You don’t have to be vigilant 24/7. We look out for each other.”

Clint shook his head. “You mean the way I was looking out for you and Shay?”

“That wasn’t any of our fault,” Cory insisted. “We were
set up
. We took every precaution, but that fucker knew we were there the instant we arrived. I told you, it wouldn’t have mattered which of us went in –one of us would have fucking
died.”

The young man’s voice squeezed with emotion, his voice wet with tears. Clint faced him. The boy was suffering from his own broken heart –yet holding it at bay as he made a valiant attempt to prevent other hearts from breaking as well.

“Cory…”

“Life doesn’t play fair,” Cory choked quietly. “On
either
side of the line, in either world. It doesn’t matter where you’re at, how alert you are…when it decides to fucking blindside you –it will. Walking away from what matters to you most and taking up arms of defense, it isn’t going to guarantee your safety –or Axel’s safety. Life is fucking
life,
Uncle Clint. And it is a
bitch.
You don’t beat it by…by
breaking ranks
. You stick together and you fight it
together.
”