Covenant (11 page)

I step back, ashamed she
feels my being spinning so far out of control. “What am I supposed
to let go of, Celia? You want to explain that to me?” I fold my
arms across my chest.

“
I think you know that,
Lev. You might not know all the details, but you know enough that
you realize in not letting it go, you’ll only drift farther off
course.”

“
What course, Celia? I
don’t see one.”

Throwing up my hands, I fly
off without waiting her answer. Somehow I already know what she is
going to say because I feel it humming below the chaos. I’m just
not willing to listen.

Chapter Eight

I don’t know if it’s minutes
or hours after Celia finally leaves that I feel the slight tug of a
sojourn call. It’s often that way in the beginning, and the feeling
only grows stronger as the time gets closer for the soul to be
carried. I’m not expecting it, so the initial stirring takes my
breath away and makes me focus for a second or two before I even
recognize what a direct calling feels like anymore. I haven’t been
in any shape to escort any souls.

One way or another, I’m
going to get things back on track, no matter how hard that might
be.

Although I feel fatigued, I
force myself to ignore it. After all, I overheard Evan tell Celia
the wound wasn’t physical, so whatever I’m experiencing isn’t about
my form. It’s just something I have to bear until I can figure
things out. Here’s to hoping that Bob and his group will come
through because I just don’t see Evan giving up the information,
and like Colin said, Celia is completely loyal to Evan. If he
doesn’t want to talk, she won’t, either.

I dive and make myself blend
with the environment and while I focus on the beacon, knowing it
will lead me wherever I need to go. I feel the air stirring around
me, and I know I could block it if it bothered me, but it doesn’t.
What it does is takes my mind off all the concerns swirling around
me. I need to get back to my purpose. I can’t stay in this limbo
forever. Or until Evan decides that giving me back my memory won’t
“hurt” me anymore.

As I emerge from the clouds,
I find myself drifting along a stretch of country highway. Below
me, traffic suggests the world is flowing the way it should and
everything is fine. Then again, I’m an angel. I know how quickly
mortal events fall apart. Evan would probably say I know too well,
but Evan isn’t here, is he?

The soul to be ferried is
just ahead, and the once-calm beacon is now clawing at my being.
The drive is overwhelming, and I have to get there because
otherwise things are going to get messy, and a lot of back-up
sojourners will be called. I may not remember a lot about
sojourning, but that fact has been indelibly imprinted on my
mind.

Although I scan the area in
front of me, I do not see anything which would cause mortal death,
but the calling tells me I’m on the right path, so I persist. I
close my eyes, focusing, letting it draw me nearer, and when I feel
I’m right on top of it, I open my eyes and spy a car accident
below. It’s a nasty affair, all right; the small red sedan had
little hope against a huge eighteen-wheeler that barreled into its
driver’s side. It’s a small miracle only one sojourner has been
called—unless that car held only one passenger.

I fly low and land beside
the car. Inside, I hear weeping. I tell myself that is normal and
brace for what I’m about to find. I try not to think too much about
the funeral and the unhappy results, but I feel it stirring inside,
and it troubles me greatly.

I can handle this,
I think. Never mind I thought I could handle it
last time, too. Gritting my teeth, I focus on the car, how the side
has been compacted deep into the car’s body, and how there is
nowhere for a human to go.

“
Help me! Please help me.”
The voice is weak and filled with unbelievable pain. It takes me
back, and I stagger.

You can do this,
I think again. The trouble is I’m not so sure I
can anymore. Her pain carves into me, and I’m not prepared for it.
It is so sharp I rest my hand atop the hood of the car, trying to
drive away the spinning sensation. I try to think back to any of
the sojourns I’ve been on to see whether this reaction is common,
but my memory comes up blank, as usual.

“
Help me!
Please!”

She’s growing weaker, and I
wish I had been just a few moments later, past the point at which
bargaining seems like a possibility. Still, I have to do this. I
force open my eyes and peer into the driver’s side. The glass has
been shattered and rests all over the body of the teenager lying
there, her mangled body one with the car. Through the blood smeared
across her face, I can see dark brown eyes and black hair. Full
lips.

In that moment I see
Elizabeth falling through the air, her arms flung wide. She’s
screaming for someone to help her, and I fly low, just above the
water, my arms reaching, and I don’t know if I can get to her in
time. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. I should have known
it was coming.

I feel her fear as she lands
in my embrace, and before she can question me, I command her to
sleep. Her body goes limp as we dive into the water and I swim us
both downstream where Evan waits.

The girl grabs my arm and
looks at me with teary eyes. “Please help me. Please!” Her voice is
breathy, probably from the punctured lung, and as much as I try to
think of something else, all I can see is Elizabeth lying there.
That image freezes me.

“
Why won’t you help me?”
she asks, resting her head against the seat. She tries to push at
the door, unaware that it has melded with her body from the impact.
“I can’t get out.”

I stagger, almost falling to
my knees. “Elizabeth?” I don’t mean to say it, but I can’t seem to
help myself.

She takes a couple of
shallow breaths and her body relaxes. It’s time, yet I can’t move.
I won’t.
What is happening to
me?

“
Lev?”

I hear the distant voice,
but I can’t stop looking at Elizabeth. I want to heal her, but I
can’t. The call to carry her soul is screaming at me now, but I
can’t do it. I’m broken.

A hand on my shoulder. “Lev,
step back. I’ll take her.”

“
No!” I yell, jerking free.
The voice is familiar, but I can’t tear my gaze from Elizabeth.
She’s still barely breathing. I can fix this somehow. I have to.
She can’t die. “You can’t take her.”

“
Can’t take who, Lev? Look
at me.”

I blink and turn toward the
voice. It’s Theresa there, and her expression is soft. “Elizabeth.
You can’t take her.”

“
It’s not Elizabeth. You’re
seeing things. Look.”

Turning back to the girl, I
realize the other angel is right. While the girl does have dark
hair and eyes, and she might be part Native American, that’s where
the similarities end. It’s not Elizabeth.

“
I thought….” I sag against
the ruined car, and my being slumps to the ground.

“
Lev, her soul….” Theresa’s
voice is distant again. I know I should answer, but I can’t. All I
can do is stare ahead. I feel her hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry
about it. I’ll take care of her. You’re in no shape for the
sojourn.”

There is a blur of motion
around me, and I’m dimly aware I should be moving, but all I can do
is think about the memory that flashed into my head when I had
saved Elizabeth before. I know it was a memory, but I don’t
understand why I feel this panic at her in mortal danger. What is
this connection that possesses me so strongly I can’t shake its
bonds?

Time blurs past, and I
remain as I am, even though the maddening screams of sirens fill
the air. All the world around me is bustling with action, and I
seem glued to the spot, unable to move. That’s when I feel someone
else touch me, and for just a moment, I wonder if the blending has
failed and a mortal has seen me.

“
Lev, we need to get you
out of here.”

A male voice, slightly
recognizable. I blink and look up to find Roberto standing there.
“What?” I murmur, blinking a few times, trying to banish the
disorientation I feel.

“
We need to move. The EMTs
are on their way, and I’m sure it’s going to take a minor miracle
to get the body out of this car, so you can’t be sitting here like
this.”

Nodding, I silently force
myself to my feet. Roberto grabs my shoulder and tugs me away as I
try to peer at the girl’s body. “Nothing there you really need to
see. Take my word.”

And so it is that he leads
me a few paces from the wreck where we stand and silently watch the
frantic activity of humans, trying to save what is beyond saving. I
know I must have witnessed this scene unfold a million times, but
for the life of me, I just can’t remember any of them. How did I do
this before?

Theresa flutters from the
sky and lands next to Roberto. “You okay? You don’t look so great,
Lev.”

Another few blinks. “I’m
fine.” But she is right. I don’t feel so good, and the world is
swirling unpredictably around me. It’s the chaos. It’s threatening
to sweep me away so I’ll drown in it. I have to get out of
here.

“
Perhaps you should get him
out of here,” Roberto suggests. “He doesn’t seem to remember how to
shield right now, and I think he’s about had all he can handle of
this world.”

Theresa grabs my arm. “You
think you can fly?”

“
Why wouldn’t I?” I force
myself into the air, and I know that if the two of them can sense
the chaos Evan and Celia probably can, too, so the last thing I
want is to fly back to my normal place in the Upper Realm, where
they can tag-team me about the way I’m reacting to all the wrong
things, and how I really need to get my head back into the game.
Yet how can I focus on sojourning when there is so much of my life
I don’t remember or don’t understand?

Even as Theresa soars beside
me, I feel her watching me, and I hate that vigilance. I want to go
back to not being anyone’s problem, where I can come and go by my
leave without anyone trying to figure out what is wrong with
me.

There’s
nothing
wrong that the truth won’t
fix. Period.

At first, I think about
rebelling and flying off on my own, but I know that would probably
result in a worse disaster than what I’ve already made, so I don’t.
I just keep flying beside her, trying not to think about Elizabeth.
Still, that’s kind of like prodding a fresh wound. Whatever has
happened between us has left some part of me raw and bleeding.
That’s got to be a first for a human, at least in my book, and
since I can’t undo what Elizabeth has done, I have to suffer
through it. Lucky me.

A few moments later, we
touch down in the same back yard. I peer toward the sliding door,
wondering if Sarah is here. For some reason, she is the one I dread
seeing the most. I don’t have a clue why. I know that she is openly
hostile toward me.

As I look at the glass,
there doesn’t seem to be anyone around, so I follow Theresa inside.
As she shuts the door, she says, “Make yourself comfortable” and
points to the sectional. “There’s a place for you to lie down until
the chaos surrenders.”

I know I should resist the
need to sleep and try harder to unravel the mystery of Elizabeth,
but she is right. I’m fighting the chaos, and it’s winning. I need
to lie down and let the calm reclaim me.

* * *

From my position in flight,
I see the men coming over the hill, the blue of the uniforms
surreal against the white powder snow coating the ground. A line of
them advances, their breath puffing out in gusts that unfurl toward
the heavens and then dissipate. The Indians won’t see them coming,
not since all the men are away on a hunting party. There will be no
one there to protect them.

And Elizabeth is there
among all the other women, just waiting to be slaughtered. I have
to hurry! I have to find her before it’s too late. Why didn’t she
warn me!

Closing my eyes, I focus on
her and the particular rhythm of her heart. Right now, it’s slow
and lazy, but that’s only because she doesn’t know what is about to
descend upon her people, and there isn’t anything anyone can do to
stop it.

I fly in low and land in
time to see the soldiers push past her, leaving only one with a
raised rifle that discharges, felling her instantly. The soldier
doesn’t even wait to see what his bullet has wrought. Instead, as
she lies, bleeding in the snow, he walks on. She looks at me,
reaching out. I rush to her and gather her body in my arms, trying
not to see the scarlet stain blossoming across her shirt. Although
she says nothing, I find my reflection in her eyes, looming larger
than I feel I have ever been.

I set my palm upon the
scarlet stain that just grows larger and larger. I don’t have the
power I need, and
I know I can’t save her.
Not in this life. But I know what I must do, no matter how long it
takes or how hard it is.

* * *

I jerk awake, and find
night filling the world around me. My heart rams in my chest, and
all I can think of is holding Elizabeth in my arms, watching the
last of her life slip away. I rock back and forth, reaching for a
calm I will probably never feel again.
I
don’t understand
, I think.
If Elizabeth died, why is she alive now? It
doesn’t make sense.