Authors: Maria Rachel Hooley
Tags: #Angels, #maria rachel hooley, #paranormal romance, #sojourner series, #urban fantasy, #Young Adult
“
He said he needed to see
Jayzee.” He slips deeper into the room until I can’t see him
anymore.
She smirks. “Yeah, I’m
betting I know exactly what you want with Jayzee. You want all the
facts Evan has wiped from your mind. You expect that out of the
goodness of her heart, she will just fix things, right?”
I step to the door.
“Something like that.”
“
You’re a fool, Lev Walker.
I didn’t know that when I met you, but I sure do now.” I start to
enter, but Sarah plasters her hand on my chest. “You aren’t welcome
here.”
“
Step aside, Sarah.” I look
up to find Jayzee standing there, a cold expression on her face.
“Let him speak his mind, and we’ll see what comes of
it.”
Sarah’s blue eyes glare at
me. For just a few seconds, she remains where she stands, and I
know that if it were up to her, I’d be on my way, but I sense a
hierarchy here, and she’s definitely not in the power position.
Jayzee, on the other hand, seems to be.
“
Sarah,” Jayzee barks. It
sounds almost like she’s calling down a guard dog.
“
All right. Fine,” she
growls and finally steps aside, giving me just enough room to slide
past her. “Just don’t blame me when things go south. You can’t
trust him, and you know it.”
Sarah stares at me, her lips
in a hard line that tells me she’ll be anything but easy to
persuade to help me, and while Sarah isn’t hiding her dislike for
me, Jayzee is and yet I still feel the slightest edges of it,
almost like she is wearing a mask worn thin from use.
“
Well, well, Lev Walker,
what brings you here?”
“
I need your
help.”
A brittle laugh escapes her.
“My help? Really? You must be kidding.”
“
Do I look like I’m
kidding, Jayzee?” My tone is anything but light, and I stare at
her, waiting for whatever she comes up with next.
“
Why don’t you have a
seat?” She gestures toward a sectional bent in an ‘L’ shape where
two men, in addition to Roberto, now sit. There is also another
woman there. As I look at them, I realize the two men have taken
the forms of older teenagers, but the female is middle-aged.
Interesting assortment. Right away, I get that feeling that not
everything is as it should be, but then again, since waking up with
no memory, I feel that pretty much all the time, so this is no
different.
Of course, if Jayzee is
going to help me, I’m going to have to play the game her way, no
matter how I feel about it, so I force myself to go to the couch
and sit between one of the males, the taller one, and the
middle-aged woman with long, dark hair parted down the
center.
“
All right, now what?” I
manage, unnerved by the fact that everyone, and I do mean everyone,
is staring at me. No one is even looking at Sarah as she slinks
into the room and sits by the other teenager. Without taking his
eyes off me, he slips his hand atop her thigh and squeezes
it.
Ever felt like you’ve walked
into a viper’s nest?
“
I take it you do remember
everyone here, right, Lev?”
I look around the room
blankly and Sarah starts to laugh, easily enjoying my misery way
too much.
Jayzee arches an eyebrow.
“Well, before we get down to it, why don’t I offer a few
introductions and go from there?” She points to the guy holding
Sarah’s hand and says, “This is Colin Gaines.”
As Colin looks at me and
gives an imperceptible nod, I notice how dark his eyes are, and
while I try to detect his chaos level, I can’t. It’s another
indicator that despite the young human shell he has adopted, the
spirit housed within is much older and definitely more powerful
than I am.
Jayzee points to the tall,
lanky teen next to me. “And next to you is Kane Bristow.” He too,
peers at me with dark eyes and gives a slightly more obvious
nod.
That leaves only one
other—the woman with long, dark hair on the other side of me.
Jayzee quickly turns her attention to her, but I can tell there is
again a deference in order. Jayzee starts to say something, but the
woman’s dark eyes silence her. “I’m Theresa Whitmore.” She reaches
out for my hand, and I shake hers.
“
And are you pretending to
be the house mother?” It’s only a half-serious question, but what
else can I assume about all these angels in one place? How else
would they keep up appearances?
She laughs, and the sound of
it is like warm butter melting, totally appealing. But that
laughter never quite touches her eyes. “In a manner of speaking,
yes, that is correct, Lev. Would you like to move in as
well?”
I start to open my mouth,
but Sarah beats me to it. “No, he’s here for something else.
Something that dear old Evan has taken, locked up, and thrown away
the key to.” She nods at Colin, who quickly lifts his arm so that
she can snuggle by him. “Poor, poor, Lev.”
“
And what might that be?”
Theresa asks, leaning back, her gaze still resting on my
face.
“
His memory,” Jayzee
replies, grabbing a glass from the counter before she sits beside
Sarah, across the room from me.
“
Your memory?” she repeats,
her eyebrows lowering as she tries to read my expression. She’s
also probably trying to detect my chaos level as well, and if she’s
half as old and powerful as I think she is, she’ll be able to tell
there’s a lot of confusion within me. There’s really no point in
trying to hide it.
“
Yeah, it appears I was
involved in some kind of incident that didn’t go well here in the
Lower Realm. I don’t have many memories besides recent ones, which
is why I don’t recognize any of you. Sorry.”
Jayzee takes a sip and
shakes her head. “Did he even give you any hints what caused him to
blot out your memory?” She lifts the glass and swirls the ice
cubes, watching them spin in the green, clear plastic.
“
No. He won’t tell me
anything.” I swallow hard, suddenly wondering if I have made the
right decision in coming here. What if Evan has really done the
right thing?
“
What about Celia?” Sarah
asks.
“
Celia always sides with
Evan,” Colin says, giving her a knowing look, and he is right.
While angels aren’t born into families like humans, Celia might as
well have been born Evan’s daughter. She is completely loyal to
him, just like a blood daughter is to her human father.
“
Have you not been able to
infer anything?” Kane asks, leaning forward. He is suddenly every
interested in this conversation.
“
Just that there is a human
girl involved.” The words are out of my mouth before I even
second-guess whether I should have spoken them.
“
A human?” The way Jayzee
says the word, it comes out as an unholy oath which troubles me all
the more.
“
Yes.” Even thinking about
it causes a memory of Elizabeth Moon to stir, and I shut my eyes,
trying to shove it back, but it refuses to go.
“
How could that be a source
of something bad enough for Evan to wipe your memory?” Kane asks,
staring intently at me. “You didn’t….” He frowns and leans closer,
which definitely feels…uncomfortable.
“
No, I didn’t!” I snap.
While the response is an automatic no-brainer, I’m also positive
whatever I might have felt toward Elizabeth, the physical side of
things didn’t come into play. There are lines that can’t be
crossed. Period.
“
Then why?” Sarah asks, an
amused twinkle lighting her eyes as they all continue to fixate on
me.
“
I don’t know. I wish I
did.” My response is weak, even by my standards.
“
Perhaps you should tell us
more about this mortal and we can help you figure out what is going
on,” Bob suggests, glancing at the faces of the angels assembled
around me, all waiting for something I am not sure I want to
give.
“
Her name is Elizabeth
Moon.” I try to lean against the back of the couch, but my back
feels too stiff and rigid, like I can’t relax. Perhaps it had more
to do with being so near to strangers, I console myself. Of course,
the other option is talking about Elizabeth to angels who do not
know her.
Who was I kidding? This me
doesn’t know her, either, so what harm can there be in just
talking, right?
“
What else can you tell us
about the mortal?” Colin asks. “Any details might be important so
be as thorough as you can.”
I draw her image closer. In
some respects, it’s like adjusting a camera lens to focus on
certain details—her full lips, her almond-shaped eyes, her flat
cheekbones. All the hints of her are there, but it still isn’t
enough to link us in any way, and those missing pieces are driving
me crazy.
“
Lev?” Theresa leans close
to me and sets one hand atop mine. I struggle with the urge to pull
away and finally just let her hand sit there, figuring it’s best to
ignore her.
I shrug. “I don’t remember
much, really, just the strange connection between the two of us,
and Evan hasn’t really said anything else, which is why I’m here.”
I keep telling myself omission isn’t the same as lying even if the
two feel similar, and I try to master the chaos whirling within,
but it seems stronger than ever. I stiffen, wondering if they can
sense it.
“
Yes, I guess that is why
you are here,” Colin says, his tone more dismissive than
sympathetic. “The question is, what do you think we can do about
it?”
Theresa frowns. “Colin,
let’s not be hasty. I think perhaps if we look into
this…situation…we might be able to find out more about Elizabeth
Moon and your connection to her.” She squeezes my hand, and I
pretend my other arm itches and pull my hand from beneath hers to
scratch just above my elbow.
“
All right, Theresa. Why
don’t you look into it, then?” He gives her a hard glance and
rises. “I’m going to get something to eat.”
Part of me wants to laugh.
After all, it’s really a joke because while we might appear human,
our bodies don’t work that way. The last thing we ever need is
human food, so for Colin to say that and get up, acting the part of
a human, which he isn’t, is either a really bad joke or an insult.
Either way, it’s not good. That much I’m sure of.
“
So is that it, then?” I
ask, trying to ignore the chaos swirling inside me so rapidly it
threatens to overtake me.
“
What exactly are you
thinking we can do?” Kane asks, setting his elbows on his thighs so
he can rest his head in his hands.
“
I figured you might know
something about my past.”
“
We know lots about
your
past, Lev, but most
of it is ancient history.” Sarah glares at me.
“
And it won’t help anyone
if we go back over it. Trust me on that score.” Jayzee also stands,
probably heading into the kitchen with Colin.
“
Great,” I mutter, gritting
my teeth.
Theresa takes a deep breath.
“Don’t worry, Lev. I’m sure we’ll find something we can use. It’s
just going to take time.”
I stand and bite my tongue
to keep from saying that’s probably the one thing I don’t have. I
mean, I can’t even seem to complete sojourns without falling apart,
and I really need answers to make it all make sense.
“
Yeah, whatever.” I turn
and head for the door. On the way, Bob rises and grasps my
arms.
“
Look, son, I know this
wasn’t what you wanted, but that doesn’t mean we won’t find what
you are looking for. It’s just not going to be as quick as you
would like. Give us some time.”
“
All right.” I slowly walk
out of the room, still feeling them watching me, and it’s only when
I’m outside the house and staring at the other angels through the
sliding glass door that I wonder if I’ve made a horrible mistake.
Colin stands there, a drink in hand, and Kane is right beside him.
They are all talking but are still mindful of me out
here.
What am I doing?
That is a good question, but
I don’t dwell on something I can’t answer as I lift into the sky.
It’s late afternoon, and the sun has crossed, heading for its final
descent. I used to love this time of day, but anymore, I’m so
twisted and turned, I don’t know what’s part of the me I am now and
the me I used to be. It’s all jumbled, and I don’t know how it’s
ever going to right itself while I’m stumbling around in the
dark.
By the time I’ve reached the
Upper Realm, the chaos consumes me. I stand in front of the ocean,
staring at the perfect reflection of the mountain.
“
Lev, what are you
doing?”
I turn and find Celia
standing there, her hair spilling around her face in loose
corkscrew curls that refuse to be tamed.
“
I don’t know what you
mean?”
“
Don’t you?” Her voice is
soft, and that alarms me. With most people, they only get louder
when they get upset. She’s the exact opposite, which should trouble
me because her voice can’t get much softer. She steps towards me,
and stops, setting her hand on my chest, her fingers splayed wide.
“I can feel the chaos, and nothing good will come from that, Lev.
Nothing. You must let it go.”